Wonkette
America’s favorite doctor, Ron Paul, is struggling with demons we cannot even begin to comprehend. Here he is whining to an empty House of Representatives last night, about the night terrors he suffers and the horrifying intrusion of interdimensional orcs into his waking life. [YouTube]
Interdimensional Orcs! Prepare ye the chain guns! Prepare the vorpal scythe!
…and in conclusion, Merry Christmas from the Ron Paul family.
kill the orcs slay the orcs destroy the orcs
Sounds more like he’s reading The Fountainhead. When will he go Galt?
Someone has been taking creative writing classes at The learning Annex.
Is he talking about libertarianism or just Paultards?
H. P. Paulcraft
This is awesome, when listened to mostly hungover with Bone Machine blasting in the background.
Andropov: The ocean doesn’t want Ron Paul today.
The enemy is within, Ron Paul, but that doesn’t mean it’s Obama, unless he is “all just a dream, a nightmare.” You might be on to something there. It is less likely that America had chosen death than that you are under a terrible misapprehension.
“We have broken from reality; a psychotic nation.”
No Ron; that’s actually just you & the teabaggers.
I love the Pittsburghese accent that still sneaks into his speech once every so often.
/How yinz dooon? It’s da New Whirled Odor.
Wonketeers, would it be possible to get an Orc tag? Just for Helen Thomas’ convenience, say?
snideinplainsight: I believe that’s an Orca, not an orc.
Andropov: or stoned, at work, with David Holmes, on headphones.
He’s talking about the blimp, isn’t he?
You can’t lose what you’ve never had.
Sort of brings Dan Quayle’s address to the United Negro college Fund to mind, don’t it?
“We must escape from the madness of crowds that is now gathering”
…and trust the madness of crowds to define the value of everything through unfettered capitalism? i can haz freedumb?
After 1:36 of random adjectives and descriptive phrases I still have no idea what exactly is boring such a deep hole up his ass.
Andropov: You just got to keep Ron Paul way down in the hole.
Oh, and Ron never struggled through a dreamscape of insanity, he took to it like a fish to water.
Ron’s Crazee
I’ve just logged on the Youtubes
Climbed aboard the Paultarded blimp
Pilot take away my worries of today
And leave regulation behind
Ooh Ron’s Crazee
I believe you can speak for me above the din
Ooh Ron’s Crazee
I believe we’ll tea bag socialism again
Yell real loud through the starry skies
Maybe to a Furry plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me to forget snarky pain
Ooh Ron’s Crazee
I believe you can speak for me above the din
Ooh Ron’s Crazee
I believe we’ll tea bag socialism again
Dr. Paul, we’ve lost our minds. Enjoy!
If Rand was a real objectivist libertarian, he would have killed this old fool years ago, as he is clearly weak and would put up little struggle. Why is Ron allowed the use of food and oxygen? He has outlived his usefulness, and has become a parasite. BATHE IN HIS BLOOD, RAND! So that the strong, the mighty, the young-ish can rise to dominate the earth!
“In the not too distant future”, when Ronnie is trapped on the Satellite of evoL with his robot pals.
Ron Paul is second only to Alan Keyes as the best political humorist ever. (Kucinich has slipped to third.) It’s our collective moral obligation to keep them all in politics as long as humanly possible.
No one told Ron the White House Poetry Slam was last week.
He turns a page after only twenty or thirty words? What font and size do you think he uses?
drrty martini: gold
This is one YouTube clip wherein the implied promise of “HQ” seems rather suspect.
drrty martini: His notes were written on a perscription pad.
As a DOCTOR, Ron, you should know better than most folks that your chances of still being alive when the shit really hits the fan are about nil - or as you would say, “without nary a chance.” So really, don’t sweat it.
A mind is a terrible thing to lose.
Custerwolf: Oops, let me doctor that up: prescription.
I’d like to think he was truly second-guessing himself towards the end.
Now how am I s’posed to get back to sleep?
Isn’t “without nary” a double negative?
Kill the bastard.
He’s like a character in his very own Philip K. Dick novel. I love this dude!
Doctor Dickhead does George Orwell, ya gotta love it, NOT! It’s not a nightmare, Doc, just a really bad job of copping somebody else’s writing style. (I’m sure that Paulie girl is nostalgic for 1984 on many more levels, as well — Ronald Alzheimer’s was President, after all.)
Tommmcatt: But that is the best part about objectivist libertarians, the whole objectivism being based off of “rational self interest” and the whole libertarian part contradicting it.
Ahhhhhhh,now I know why they call them Paultards.
Pittsburghese doesn’t “sneak into his speech once every so often.” It permeates every word he speaks. And to think this geezer moved out of Pennsylvania when he was 18! I guess change is NOT something he believes in … ‘n ‘at.
Tommmcatt: I thought the reason Rand’s not running in Tejas was that, just like Stewie Griffin, he had tried and failed to kill his father a great number of times. Clearly, there is a lesson to be learned here - mess with the Randfather, and you will need to relocate to Kentucky.
Aloysius: a dreamquest of unknown pauldath
I preferred the original Jabberwocky. RP’s version is too nonsensical.
Custerwolf: Nary is an abbreviation of “nads, hairy.” He was either letting us know he’d shaved his sack or been castrated.
Speaking of castration (I’m so subtle in my segues), would you recommend banding or a castrating knife for sheep?
RabidHamster:
For sheep or for “sheep”?
Joey Ratz:
There can only be one!!!!
Sheep. Or Newt Gingrich. Although for Newt, I’d have to go with knife, rusty and dull.
You all have missed it! This is a recitation from the upcoming First Book of Ron, chapter one, verse one.
RabidHamster: As for the sheep….castrating should be done within the first week otherwise is far more painful. Banding’s probably better because you don’t have an open-wound fly attractor. Just make sure you only get the scrotal sac and not the vestigial titties. What kind of sheep do you have?
and folks said i was crazy for voting for kucinich
Custerwolf: Soay (which makes herding them fun, as they have pretty much no herd instinct). Fortunately, all the lambs so far have been lacking in boy-parts, so I haven’t had to do any nutwhacking. I’m hoping that when the time comes, I can follow in my father’s footsteps and just let my wife take care of the castration. I tend to anthropomorphize a bit too much when it comes to certain activities.
RabidHamster: Most menfolk do. It should be pretty easy - just be sure both babymakers are beneath the band. Give it about 3 weeks and the little guys should shrivel and drop - the balls that is, not the sheep. Where do you guys live?
RabidHamster: Aww…Look out little feller, they’re coming for your Soay beans.
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/lamb.jpg
He’s right. We have become a nation of multidimensional social insanities. Paultardism is one of them.
Custerwolf: On the opposite side of the state from you, just east of Washington (yes, also slightly over the border, in the state known best for potatoes, lead-filled lakes and Larry Craig). I think my wee floofy ships (I learned to talk Scottish from Groundskeeper Willie) are much cuter: http://oliphantparts.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/cimarrons_first.jpg and http://oliphantparts.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/lamb_02.jpg
Hopefully there’s no banning imminent for a lack of snark, buttsecks or politics…
RabidHamster: I can always sneak some beastiality remarks in if things start getting too serious.
RabidHamster: “wee floofy ships” is now my new favorite phrase. And those are some CUTIES, may I say.
If you think the sheep are cute, check out the cute chick I’m using as my avatar. She’s been hanging out in my office the past two days, dressed in nothing but feathers and, um, more feathers.
RabidHamster: I saw that. Can’t really make it out in the small pic but it looks like a starling or a swallow.
Awww, Frasier! That was my favorite chair!
Custerwolf: Finch or sparrow, judging by the size and beak. Although with my luck, it’ll be a stunted starling and I’ll have to debate wringing its neck.
http://oliphantparts.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/cute_chick_011.jpg
Okay, back to some kfog and cooking dinner.
RabidHamster: I worked in a wildlife center, so I should know this one, but I’m drawing a blank.
Custerwolf: Whatever it is, it enjoys mealworms, moistened cat food kibble, earthworms, and blue gorilla squeaky toys (the latter for snuggling and security rather than dining delights). Actually, at this point, it’ll eat anything that fits in its mouth. I still say it isn’t a starling, as the nestful of starlings I had to raise last year were much larger than this guy, and had a different beak shape.
RabidHamster: I actually might still have my “baby-gaper” guide to fledglings. I’ll check it out. Here’s a baby waxwing I’m feeding. If you want to know how to make toilet paper nests (more sanitary) let me know…
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/brd.jpg
Gravel Kucinich Paul Nader
McKinney Ventura too
perotcharts.com
RAGE
anthrax intimidation
neocon 911 fairy tale
bush rove cheney rummy
extortion blackmail bribery
federal reserve is not federal
israel-first dual-national aipac
Reminiscent of “Angry Old Gorr.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uitXR46c-Ko
RabidHamster: (Not that there’s anything wrong with gorilla squeak toys.)
Custerwolf: It’s looking more and more like an English House Sparrow. Oh yay, another invasive species. Damned foreigners. They’re stealing our job…er, nests!1!! Well, too late to give him back to the dog that was trying to eat it earlier this week; the kids would have my head, and it’s not like one more of the little bastards in my back yard is going to make a difference.
He sure does have a purdy mouth. And talks like some kind of city-folk. Yummy
bonghitsforjesus: I’m not sure where, but there started to be some semi-coherent non-adjectives somewhere near the end. He seems to hate a lot of the same things about the GOP that I do, but he’d be a lot better off if he didn’t self-medicate - once it started wearing off, I could understand. Dr. Ron, please leave the self-medicating part to me.