Wonkette
All right, Jonathan Martin, you WIN THE NIGHT and ALSO THE FOLLOWING MORNING for this explosive exclusive thing on a truly boneheaded scheme to foster some sort of political alliance between the Clintons and Sarah Palin. The perpetrator: John Coale, prominent Palin pal, husband of Greta Van Susteren, and Clinton supporter who got his panties in a bunch when Hillary didn’t win the nomination. The victim: Sarah Palin, who just wants to be left alone and limit huge public embarrassments to, say, a mere thrice-weekly occurrence.
So Coale said in January, “Hey Sarah you know what would be awesome? If you helped retire the campaign debt of that woman you despise, and who despises you back times a million.” We refer, of course, to Hillary Clinton, who it’s true would take a political donation from Lucifer himself and probably already has. Presumably, though, she was not in on THIS retardo scheme.
Coale made his case to Palin at the Iron Dog snowmachine competition in Fairbanks, where Todd Palin was competing over Valentine’s Day weekend. His broader aim, say Palin camp insiders, was to help Palin develop a relationship with the former first family that he thought could bolster the polarizing governor’s standing with Democrats and independents.
Well needless to say that did not happen, because even Sarah Palin’s advisers decided it was a bad idea.
Basically everyone in Washington is just flummoxed at the sheer terribleness of this plan.
“He thought the Clintons could rein in some of the Democratic firepower aimed at her,” said a dumbfounded Republican privy to the discussion who advocated fiercely against the idea.
A former Clinton aide hadn’t heard of the plan but deemed it “not rooted in anything that would touch on reality.”
Coale’s reasoning basically boiled down to this: Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin both have ladyparts, so they should stick together, like ladies do, and fight Sexism. And anyhow, the Clintons are just good people to know in Washington, for sure, but let’s face it: they’re only friends with people who are smart or who are useful to them, and Sarah Palin is neither.
In conclusion, John Coale should be fed head-first into that turkey-chipping device that Governor Palin is so fond of.
Palin camp eyed Clinton alliance [Politico]
Palin & poor Hillary’s debt.
Extortion Blackmail Bribery
Stalin and Hitler tried being pals once and that didn’t seem to work out too well either.
Wow, that is so dumb it’s breathtaking.
I don’t know what’s more amazing: that there’s a man alive who’d want to see Greta naked or … okay, that’s the most amazing thing.
Not mentioned is Coale’s and Greta’s love of Scientology and his desire to expand the influence of L. Ron’s cult… What the fuck are their lawyers doing here? … ZAP … um, not financial scam and honest religion of the SO Not Gay Tom Cruise. Oh hail L. Ron.
A former Clinton aide … deemed it “not rooted in anything that would touch on reality.”
There’s no denial there, folks.
“between two of the most prominent families in American politics” Yeah, the Snowbillies are right up there with the Clintons, Kennedys, Bidens, etc.
This is why JMart should have his TruckNutz forcibly yanked off.
Bill would’a hit that. or at least one of the younger ones…maybe that was what Mr. Greta was thinking??
This just… blew my funny fuse.
Teh stoopit. It burns.
I think he wanted this so he could bring about the end times. Isn’t there something in Revalation about a great whore riding a beast?
Two relevant quotes:
1. “Former President Bill Clinton placed a friendly call to Palin after the election, and Coale sought to use that as an opportunity to play matchmaker.”
2. “Without trusted and experienced hands to help manage the governor’s political affairs, hundreds of letters stacked up in Palin’s garage.”
So Bill would to go up there and massage the governor with his experienced hands?
Also, are the Palins and the Cintons really “two of the most prominent families in American politics”?
i don’t think buying up hillary’s debt, is the kind of shopping spree sarah had in mind when she started that PAC.
And anyhow, the Clintons are just good people to know in Washington, for sure, but let’s face it: they’re only friends with people who are smart or who are useful to them, and Sarah Palin is neither.
A-fucking-MEN to this. Bravo, SKS.
Is he aware that Shinola is a shoe polish?
We laugh, but if the Clitons thought befriending Satan would help them, they’d be having breakfast in Hell right now. If Clinton/Palin 2016 seemed a good idea, Hillz and Princess Moose would be BFFs.
So I’m the only one who stopped reading after the words “Iron Dog snowmachine competition” ??
Really?
It would be better if we could get Amy Poehler to play Hillary. Put them both together on The View, maybe bring in Greta and why not Nancy Pelosi for a big time cat fight? Meow.
ARRGH! American women should weep and ruin their mascara over the nonsense that this is. They should bake cookies and stand by their man, or go shopping and maybe have a grasshopper at lunch, then vomit afterward to keep their weight down. Jeebus.
WTF?!1!? That’s pretty harebrained…
magic titty: http://www.wcclp.com/irondog.asp
Greta? Hillz? Mr. Coale would appear to have a cankle fetish.
magic titty: sorry, wrong link. Here it is http://www.irondog.org/
John Coale is the FIRST DUDE of his family.
Haha, Palin’s supporters had to choose between “heating their homes” and sending their crystal-meth welfare check to the Sarahcuda beast.
Which means there are thousands of frozen Palin supporters half-buried in the snow (like Jack Torrence) somewhere in Alaska or Oklahoma or wherever those weird people are.
Just every time I see that SARAHPAC photo in the sidebar, I hear celestial music as she stares off into our bright future - the merged, harmonious voices of all the Real Americans going all “Aaaaaahhhh! AAAA-AAAAhhh!!” Like that scene in Phantom Menace where they’re all fighting with lightsabers. But without lightsabers. And robots and that stuff. Just Real America.
Probably our future is going to be really cold, judging from that picture. And mountainy.
Wow - Greta’s husband has the perfect political instincts to be a mover and shaker in the Republican party. Perhaps as Michael Steele’s lead deputy.
Genius.
So, Greta saves the life of the original Wonkette, Ana Marie Cox, and Greta’s hubby trys to save Palin’s political life by having her buddy up with Hillary. I guess Greta and John saw these life-and-death situations and asked themselves, “What would L. Ron do?”
http://www.usnews.com/blogs/washington-whispers/2009/05/15/greta-van-susteren-saves-ana-marie-coxs-life.html
I thought PUMA retired Hillary’s debt?
No?
“because even Sarah Palin’s advisers decided it was a bad idea.”
Jeebus thought it was a bad idea
“both have ladyparts, so they should stick together,”
A rather simplistic view of the modern pop culture as expressed through pornography.
joezoo: Classy PACs always solicit donations from people who can’t pay their heating bills. Especially in tropical states such as Alaska. Also. Whereas.
If Sarah Palin’s advisors think it’s a “bad” idea, isn’t that by definition a “good” idea?
Just sayin’.
snideinplainsight: I guess Google ads or whatever service is tormenting us operates on the Oscar Wilde Principle, i.e. the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
magic titty: Iron Dog Snow Machine competition…so they have a contest to see whose machine can make the most snow? Is this the most pointless (Alaska) or just teh gheyest contest ever? Or do the snow machines have little fancy shaped ports on the ends of them, like cake icing squeezer thingies, and so shoot out Happy Valentine’s Day designs made of snow? Ouch, none of this makes sense.
This plan probably makes perfect sense after a cocaine bender.
germansteel: “Marge, when kids these days say `bad’, they mean `good’. And to `shake your booty’ means to wiggle one’s butt. Permit me to demonstrate.”
joezoo: And just think of the hilarity that would ensue when the Palin supporters found out that the welfare checks they had donated to Sarah ended up going to Hilz.
Frodo, meet Gollum. Believe it or not, you both share an interest in this ring thingy. I think y’all are gonna get along just fine.
That Sarah Palin sure is one blind, ambitious, delusional bitch. One of the effects (I hear) of methamphetamine is the super-unrealistic belief in one’s abilities.
I’m waiting for Snow Barbie to become a Scientologist.
“both have ladyparts, so they should stick together,”
and call themselves the scissor sisters.
Cape Clod:
That’s not a lesbian fantasy I can believe in.
meh….any vagina in a storm….
“A bad idea in what way, Charlie?”
It makes no sense at all, until you read that Greta’s husband was an “outspoken Clinton supporter during the Democratic primary who switched his allegiance to the GOP ticket for the general election.” The dude is a male PUMA! (man-PUMA? he-PUMA?) This is completely the kind of stupid ideas that PUMAs are always proposing.
What do Scientologists have against black men, anyway?
“..at the Iron Dog snowmachine competition in Fairbanks…”
and all the sudden I miss the days where big things used to be decided at the gulf course…
Scientologists like Michael Jackson, he´s black…well, he WAS black……….once…..
Cape Clod: That was SO DAMN WRONG. +1.
If we’ve learned anything from this story, it’s that like a maxi pad applied directly to your pubes, vaginas should stick together.
PUMA heads be explodin
NoWireHangers: Ouch! With or without wings?
Can’t Xenu retire that debt???
Naw, the resemblance is between Simple Sarah and Clinton’s debt itself; both represent a current embarrassment from a past mistake.
I love the smell of breathtaking stupidity in the morning.
The idea is breath-takingly-stupid. Perhaps, Sarah and Hilz can appear together in “Nailin-Pailin II, the Sequel.” Also. As in a fund raiser. Also.
NoWireHangers: Gah! Worse than waxing, because it’s so unexpected and you haven’t had weeks to get used to the idea.
Also, sexism! Lady parts! Everyone who voted for president Barry is a sexist. N o l i e!
Literally hundreds of people believe this. It must be true.
I’d say that Clinton should just take the money and run, but then there would be that much less SarahPAC cash for Wonkette. Clicky clicky.
ManchuCandidate: Or want to imagine, for that matter.
“He thought the Clintons could rein in some of the Democratic firepower aimed at [Palin]”
Oh, yeah. Like there’s no reason to attack Retard McSnowBunny other than to mindlessly follow the Clintons’ marching orders.
Only Xenu has the cability to see the logic of such alliances. If you dare to question you have to deal with Tom Cruise and and army of lawyers*
*This comment was posted as satire. It in no way indicates any negative feelings against the fine religion of scientology which is being unfairly persecuted due to its love of aliens. May we all bless the all knowing Xenu
Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin both have ladyparts, so they should stick together
I told them scissoring without lube was a bad idea.
…Jes’ hopin’ & wishin’, Palin & Clinton, can’t take any more; I got to go score, and that’s all I do, jes’ hopin’ & prayin’ & wishin’ & mopin’ &…. fuck it, can’t believe even Greta von Gables contacts couldn’t see this guy comin’….. if you get outed for being this over-the-top stupid, do you have to leave the planet, or does something this weird have to have been solicited by Bill himself….?…Focus, Toomush, focus - where did I put that Mount Gay and why don’t I just go to the Barbados to buy it local….
Sarah Palin is exactly the kind of hillbilly catnip that Bill used to get in so much trouble for chasing after. Anyone who thinks putting those two in the same room together is a good idea is either an idiot or a comedian of the highest order.
Hostile Michigander: A male PUMA is a Puman, of course.
Also, I think the buried lede here is that the Republicans have a talking privy. Or, maybe that’s the rule now–GOP spokes-shitholes.
They could get together and tawk ’bout ginas.
dementor: I hate the word “privy”.
populucious: WRONG!! It’s a great idea. They could argue about politics, and then just start kissing.
snideinplainsight: In the vein of SKS’s obsession with all things sci-fi, you would be either referring to Hoth or the penal colony asteroid of Rura Penthe…
Snowbilly and Hillz are def chock-a-block full of body thetans. Make the meeting place Flag Land Base in Clearwater, F-L-A, stat!
Wouldnt it just be easier for Coale to pay Palin to let Greta get down on the muffin.
Texan Bulldoggette: He and Greta are graduates of the Scientology program that matches closeted gays up with presentable wives — Operation Bearded Clam.
A former Clinton aide hadn’t heard of the plan but deemed it “not rooted in anything that would touch on reality.”
Wasn’t “not rooted in anything that would touch reality” Palin’s campaign slogan?
Actually the REAL story here is that someone would mate with Greta Van Susteren. I thought she was too busy having threesomes with “First dude” Todd and Natalee Holloway’s corpse to bother with a husband.