Wonkette
STAY HEALTHY UNTIL SUMMER! Jobless? No health care? Hang in there, babies! Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama just announced a National Health Care bill will be passed by the end of July. [Yahoo News]
IT'S SOCIALIST TO GET SICK
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Good news, because this thing on my neck is getting bigger.
If that is what nurses look like in the new U.S.S.A., marx my words, she can lenin real close and give me a sponge bath any time. Trotsky. Penis.
Something tells me that maid gets a raise whether she asks for one or not.
I need my gall bladder removed so this will be perfect. I also need about 4 teeth crowned.
Alt-text FTW. But what’s she holding?
Or, if symptomatic, move to Canada or Cuba.
and we’re to conclude it will contain some type of “National Hooker Allowance”?
Thank you Acorn…you are all wonderful people….
That’s a nurse? Okay. This changes everything.
As long as it covers medical marijuana, I’m for it.
Hellooooooooooo, nurse!
V572625694: Dipstick
That is. . .ambitious. It’ll probably end up just being a package that gets sent to every household containing:
a first aid kit
maps to Canadian pharmacies
a stiff polymer tube to bite down on during home surgery
an autographed picture of C. Everett Coop (they found a bunch of them in a box in a Hill office building)
V572625694: I thought it was a feather duster, but what do I know. My boyfriend’s the one who gets to dress up like that and clean the place.
SmutBoffin: HaHa, Coop = Koop. HaHa, epic neckbeard.
Custerwolf: TGY: Indeed, I feel a significant illness or injury requiring a long hospital stay with a great deal of personal care coming on.
If I ever get munnies again I would be willing to pay taxes on those munnies to have this Health Care of which youy speak.
So if, say, Rush’s kidneys were to suddenly fail - ?
Will cynicism be considered a “pre-existing condition”?
Lascauxcaveman: Yeah. Too bad nurses usually only look like that on costume websites. Then again, a little roleplay goes a long way and at least you don’t have to deal with medical insurance forms.
The big winners in this plan will either be the American people or Norm Coleman’s lawyers. I’m not quite sure which way to bet yet…
Custerwolf: Dontcha hate mixed sexual metaphors? Fantasy-nurse-girl should be holding a proctoscope, or something similar.
V572625694: She’s obviously non-union.
The nurse photo already improved my today’s mental health, anyway.
Enema parties will be “in” in 2010.
SmutBoffin: I adore you ever so much.
TGY: I have a theory that one way to pay for a new healthcare system is to provide the tiered system in which people who want to pay more for health insurance and premium care can do so. I don’t mean that they get better medical devices, but that there are enough rich fuckers out there who would pay through the nose to have hot nurses in traditional white dresses. I’m serious - I actually think I could open a chain of care centers that provide hot, hot nurses, manly orderlies, and decent doctors - you could tax the shit out of the place and use the taxes to pay for hospitals for people who don’t care if their nurses are hot, as long as they are competent.
I just realized that there aren’t any people who don’t care if their nurses are hot.
Can’t we just eat more cheerios and feel better?
SmutBoffin: Epic neckbeard: so very right.
Too late for me… I’ve got rigor mortis now. In my groinial region.
TGY: New design Rectal Thermometer??
TGY: Colonoscope?
TGY: Sigmoidoscope?
DAmicosonegoodyear: Rx: Get a hold of yourself.
SmutBoffin: “an autographed picture of C. Everett Coop”
So they are going to be covering birth control; hurray!
Custerwolf: Eh, what’s the difference?
AnnieGetYourFun: Do patients have to tip their nurses with one dollar bills every time they take temperatures? Do rectal exams cost more?
It’s not a bad idea though. Perhaps a good way to winnow the gene pool.
That nurse made me sick to my pants….
JMP: Kinda. You just get a roll of Saran-Wrap and some rubber bands.
I’d still insist on Dr. Hardbody giving me all of my injections.
Custerwolf: That’s a prescription I will certainly follow.
Judging from the photo, becoming Speaker has really agreed with Nancy.
A Harlequin Bromance: In that case, the rubber glove test is a straight ticket to bankruptcy.
Lazy Media: I’m going as Sexy Jesus next Halloween.
Lazy Media: I remember that. It has the best sales line ever: ‘Get up off yer ass and get down here! I got shit I’m tryin’ to sell.’ Classic.
proudgrampa: I’m out of scope.
Awesome accompanying picture! Please run more.
I’m definitely with Krugman when he says “I’ll count my healthcare bills when they’re hatched.”
TGY: I got more! Proctoscope, anoscope, endoscope…
OK, I’m done!
Wonkette has obviously invested in a CD of clipart of tarts representing every ethnic group: the wee leprechaun, ze French maid, and now this. Thank you for sharing, so we can all touch ourselves inappropriately.
Trannie Nurses are all I need to get ‘er done.
Mr Blifil: It’s a trap!
Also and Also.
When are they going to start handing out the free morning after pills to 13 year olds?
Mr Blifil:
Just don’t get stuck in gear, those manual trannies can be a bitch (or not) sometimes.