Wonkette
What happens when a law-and-order wingnut encounters a law he doesn’t like? He breaks the law, while hollering about his “rights,” and then freaks out when there is a consequence for breaking said law. This is the dumb melodrama happening in southern Utah right now, where the very beautiful and unique Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument was the backdrop for some fucktard OHV fatsos doing an illegal “protest ride” on their smoke-farting noisemakers through a wild river in a National Monument. And the BLM just let it happen, instead of shooting the miscreants, but everybody and their various pigmobiles got photographed by the feds, and now the U.S. Attorney has the stuff, and the off-road slobs are just losing their minds because oh noes, they are common criminals and they might get cited.
Egged on by local elected officials who proclaimed “We’re mad as hell,” more than 200 people rode motorcycles and off-road vehicles up and down the middle of the Paria River on Saturday, in flagrant violation of monument regulations.
Ever since the great Republican Ulysses S. Grant signed the law that made Yellowstone the first National Park, there have been greedy yokels who can’t stand the idea that we might have nice things in this country. These OHV dopes are just the latest version of the hillbilly grifters who would sneak in to log a couple of trees from Yosemite or shoot a grizzly in Glacier for the hell of it.
Yosemite was saved from rednecks and sheep grazers by the great Republican Theodore Roosevelt, who sent the U.S. Army Calvary to shoot the scumbags and disperse the sheep. (This is why park rangers still wear that peaked Calvary/Ranger Smokey Bear hat!)
Anyway, boo hoo, these clowns illegally rode their little bulldozers for the specific purpose of breaking the law, and didn’t even get shot or sent to socialist detention camps, but they might get prosecuted!
Kanab resident and protest organizer Shawna Cox said agents took pictures of the licence plates on the 300 or so all-terrain vehicles and motorcycles on the riverbed as well as the plates on vehicles parked near the old Paria town site.
“We felt like that was pretty low. We thought we were living in a communist country,” she said. “We weren’t [doing] anything dangerous. People should stand up for their rights.”
Indeed. It is 100% communist to have law enforcement.
Death penalty for ALL of them. And melt down their slob-cycles to make gay-marriage double-headed dildo vibrators. We must stand strong against criminals! Otherwise, the liberals win.
Take a look:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&q=Grand+Staircase-Escalante+National+Monument,+Kane,+Utah+84741&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=47.569986,56.953125&ie=UTF8&cd=2&geocode=FcCtOgId-9hX-Q&split=0&ll=37.399346,-111.684716&spn=0.052026,0.109863&t=h&z=14
The beauty is not immediately apparent, which is good.
Calvary? Like where Jesus got anal-crucified? That sounds like a fabulous hat.
Oh, cavalry. Never mind.
Off-road vehicles suck, the end. And two-stroke engines should be banned outright.
ATVNutz!
If federal agents had confiscated their fucking little carts, half the fat slobs would have had heart attacks trying to walk back to the parking lot.
These things can’t roll over fast enough.
We’re mad as hell and we’re not going to take it anymore.”
There, fixed it for them.
Calvary=cavalry?
Not that I got anything against nailing Jews to crosses or anything.
They were just enjoying nature by running over it.
Ya know, I have a couple of friends who are a married couple who have been arrested and jailed many times for protesting the war, nuclear waste dumping, coal mine mountain striping, you name it, and my allegedly fruity lefty kumbuyah friends have never ever whined about the rough treatment they get, not like these stupid cunts.
They are OUT heritage and we should be able to spoil them as we wish. Start forest fires, poison the waters, kill the wildlife. And if someone is going to try to stop please make it the cavalry rather than the religious-oriented Calvary.
Make that OUR instead OUT, Mr. Smart-Ass Language Person chascates!
You gotta have a licence plate on your ATV in Utah? That’s really weird. Must be a Mormon thing.
I love me some ATV riding and they’re mighty handy in rural areas but sweet jeesus they can turn a beautiful natural stream into a stinking mudpile in a couple of nanoseconds. Those riders must just be dickless assholes to do that to a national monument.
Speaking of stupid shit the BLM does:
http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/?p=3033
They are amazingly shitty. Thanks for this, BLM. You are managing the SHIT out of the land.
Lazy Media: stupid spell check!
What will our enviro/communist/gay overlords outlaw next–shooting wildlift from a helicopter?
the national monuments should be left to the PRIVATE SECTOR - that way if the real americans wanted to, they could just pay to pave over that useless river and they can ride their crotch bumpers wherever they want. it’s the invisible hand, gently massaging america’s taint with the vibrating lust of a 300-horsepower ATV. also, too.
Death penalty for ALL of them. And melt down their slob-cycles to make gay-marriage double-headed dildo vibrators.
Amen, hallelujah. ExceptI say we first make them all get gay married to each other and then we give them death via sodomy using said slob-cycles turned into dildo vibrators as the instruments of their execution.
I’m against the death penalty, even for these noobs. But I’d be totally okay with permanent house arrest, which in this case sounds like it might be even more cruel and unusual.
I’ve visited the spectacular Grand Staircase-Escalante monument, and if I were Ken Salazar I’d ban motor vehicles within 500 miles of the place.
I won’t be happy until I get to ride around drunk on my ATV maim machine without a helmet, breaking my skull open on a national monument and then receiving government-subsidized healthcare at an emergency room after a tax-payer funded rescue mission brought me there. That is freedom.The only people worse than ATVers are snowmobilers, but at least those people tend to just plummet through the ice without much of a fuss.
Uh, guys, you do know that the Civil Rights protesters, who were protesting laws that were actually unjust, actually went to jail when they broke the laws that they were protesting? And they didn’t whine about it, either; in fact, they knew that the mass arrests & beatings by the Southern cops would increase sympathy & support in the rest of the nation. Of course, they were protesting laws that actually violated their human rights; there is no Constitutional right to drive around federally protected land.
But then, a lot of whiny libertarian-types can’t stand the idea of the law being enforced if it inconveniences them. As atrios pointed out several times recently, since the cops here started cracking down on double parking and other such violations the Philly Inquirer comments have been filled with inane comkplaints.
Can we get Utah to secede too?
Finally, the missing third leg of the triumvirate: The bitters cling to guns, religion and all terrain vehicles.
We had to destroy this nature in order to save it.
shortsshortsshorts: Considering that the BLM was considering _damming_ the canyon, merely mining for uranium is progress.
…“We felt like that was pretty low. We thought we were living in a communist country,” she said.
the cruel knout of oppression is brought down upon these long-suffering citizens. like in a communist country. just like.
“Tread Lightly” indeed.
I loved my dirt bike when I was a kid. It was actually pretty quiet, with its tiny motor and factory muffler intact. Kept it to perfectly-legal logging roads and private properties. Even so, I eventually became a grownup.
Anyone who has ever been to Kanab knows what a travesty this is. I have no snark. Take their toys and give them to hippie communes to use as planters. That’s fucking communism bitches.
4tehlulz: They can have the Great Salt Swamp, but we get Kanab.
Blender: I always buy mine here:
http://www.bullsballs.com/atv/balls.html
“Most cases it is proper and fitting to install ATV Nuts on your ATV rig before long.
All Truck Balls are not the same, shop around, compare and then go with the Originals ! ”
Indeed.
Claim racial profiling, end of citations…
“People are the government,” [organizer Shawna Cox] said, dressed in a vest of the U.S. flag.
I hope the U.S. Attorney adds to the trespassing charges one count of flag desecration (it is against federal law to use the flag as “apparel, bedding, or drapery”) and one count of crimes against fashion.
Ugh. Reason #1 I miss Utah: gorgeous natural areas like Staircase, Zion, Bryce Canyon, etc.
Reason #1-infinity I DO NOT miss Utah: the miserable fuckers who live really close those gorgeous natural areas and treat them like shit.
I wish my park ranger relative would just shoot these ATV-tards on sight.
The best way to deal with this is to tie fishing line between some trees about 4 feet off the ground. My parents had ATV riders cruising through their property and rutting up the walking trails near their home. We did this neat trick and once a couple of dick wads got flipped off their douche machines we don’t see so many of them.
It has always bothered me that people who claim to be outdoorsy only go outside to destroy it.
Sean Hannity says this is tyranny. Also.
I’m in favor of releasing them in the monument in July without water or ATVs and let God sort ‘em out.
Anybody who can’t keep their “toys” to established and legal trails should be knocked off of them at high speed by a baseball bat. The BLM should be the first agency that gets its house cleaned by Obama. I’ve seen their handywork all over the west, they make a mockery of their mission.
Lazy Media: There haven’t been many two-stroke ATVs made in the last decade or so unless you count the itty-bitty ones made for toddlers… And those ARE cute, with the little .22 sized gun rack and cooler rack for some ice-cold sippy cups!
My local cops get mad when I shoot at ATV-tards (thanks grampa) for scaring my horses. What about my rights!
JMP: Well the Constitution does guarantee Congresspeople the right to travel to and from Congress. Any chance these drooling fat-bottoms were just Republican Congressmen on their way to work?
Those ATVers are the Rosa Parks of something. Not sure what though.
faith in humanity += -1
Fuck the death penalty for these assholes — the electricity it would consume is bad for the environment. I say we just sterlize them all.
4tehlulz: Utah, secede? Maybe just the people, but the territory is heartbreakingly beautiful. You want to keep it.
I’m astounded that they found 300 people at Staircase, though. I think I saw a snake and tumbleweeds. And so much hot sun.
Utah should secede. In fact, all states I dislike should secede, leaving only the state of Canada. Except Quebec, which should secede.
This is telling:
“We’ve got less access to our public lands than we’ve ever had before.”
The monument boasts nearly 900 miles of open travel routes, with about 600 miles explicitly designated for motorized vehicles.
Erm, okay. Math time: you already have 2/3rd of the monument area okayed for motorized vehicles. And you’re pissed off because you can’t fuck up the remaining 1/3rd with your pimped-out dune buggy. OH MAH GAWD THEY BE DENYIN MA AXCESS. Makes total sense to me.
4tehlulz:
Nah.
March them down to Texas; Trail of Tears style.
x111e7thst: “My local cops get mad when I shoot at ATV-tards (thanks grampa) for scaring my horses. What about my rights!”
Guns are mentioned in the Constitution; ATVs are not. Fire at will!
Fuck all that. Turn on the Drudge Siren, this is big news. We have a winner!:
http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2009/05/masturbate-a-thon_champion_spe.php
I’m confused. I thought the Heartbeat of Utah had something to do with plural wives, but now it has something to do with fat-assed rednecks on all-terrain Hoverounds?
Of course, it could just be that these poor ATVers are just running drugs for the Messicans. Also.
This is the difference between Libtards and Wingnuts. Libtards understand that the whole point of social disobedience is to get arrested, and take pride in their arrest records (cf. Martin Luther King Jr.), on the other hand, wingnuts think we are only a nation of laws when it comes to lying about oral sex or crack, and that torture, snorting cocaine or destroying pristine wilderness should be allowed because we are Americans, God Damn It!
Fucktards of every stripe like to go “vroom-vroom.” They do it on Harleys, they do it on quads, they do it on what Sarah shithead taught us should only ever be called “snow-machines,” and they do it on jet-skis. The only upside is that all of these machines are among the most efficient machines ever designed for doing Darwins work of winnowing out the stupids.
BTw, there is nothing gayer than 2 men on one vroom-vroom machine, especially a jetski. Its gayer than a dude with a cock in his mouth and ass at the same time.
i have an atv for managing my property (plowing snow from my long driveway, pulling a small wagon for yardwork, moving firewood, etc) and occasionally i take it to the local trails for some fun and sightseeing. that being said, fuck these assholes. someone should take to driving sherman tanks through their front yard.
personally, i make sure that i take my kids on plenty of hikes on foot trails, too…i think there should be places and opportunities for all kinds of recreation lest we forget what the ‘real’ world is really all about. jerkoffs like these are gonna ruin that for everyone, though. we had a few morons up here in WI who decided to run down some deer on their snowmobiles this last winter…there was a lot of public outrage over that, so it makes me feel like maybe not all is lost…
WOW look at those mini-jeeps! Where can I get one of those? Do you think Toys-R-Us has em’? I bet they do! It’s funny to see grown ups on those mini-jeeps though… Aren’t they a little bit embarrassed? I bet they go through a lot of batteries…
El Pinche: Pearl Harbor, the Coney Island hot dog eating chamionship, and now this.
there have been greedy yokels who can’t stand the idea that we might have nice things in this country.
Actually, that’ spretty much all Americans isn’t it? We as a country haven’t figured out that it’s possible to live somewhere and not turn it into an ugly dump.
Dave J.: You could’ve been talking about West Virginia. Also.
Lazy Media: Had Ken ever taken the time to read his own blog he would have never made this unconscionable mistake.
x111e7thst: And scavenger birds would eat like kings off of the bloated corpses, making it a win/win scenario!
El Pinche: What a jerkoff.
as the world burns: “a few morons up here in WI who decided to run down some deer on their snowmobiles this last winter”
But admit it. The outrage was over not wearing their orange and khaki overalls, wasn’t it.
Hey it was Utah, were they wearing their magic undies??? Prolly not, cuz if they were the spirit of Brigham Young would have prevented them from being caught.
jagorev: Actually, that’s pretty much all Americans isn’t it? We as a country haven’t figured out that it’s possible to live somewhere and not turn it into an ugly dump.
Yes, and that is why we can’t have nice things.
El Pinche: Sounds like a complete circle jerk to me.
facehead: And to bring it full circle, they manufacture all of the ATVs too.
Libturds idea of Injustice: When the laws are designed to discriminate against people on the basis of religion, sex, age and sexual orientation.
Contards idea of Injustice: When the laws are designed to not let them be as large an asshole as they want to be.
Custerwolf: “I use as many as 10 different TENGAs so that my dick avoids being paralyzed.”
Wouldn’t it be an advantage?
To be back on topic here. Conservatives = Harkonnens. They’re goal is turn Earth into Giedi Prime.
WIDTAP: wisconsin has a proud history of conservation, actually. one of our local middle schools is named for John Muir. the smartest of us know that hunting, fishing, trail-riding, lake access, park use etc would not be possible if not for conservation. there are plenty of rednecks around who don’t give a shit, though…really pisses me off.
proudgrampa: Once, after completing a War of 1812 Soldier program, I stopped a golf cart being driven across the lawn at Perry’s Monument at musket point. It sure doesn’t have the same rate of fire as a 9mm Glock or an AR-15, but I still probably could nail about 3 of those ATV suckers a minute with the ol’ flintlock!
Next time you’re before a judge, just use this wingnut’s logic:
“What is this is a communist country now? I wasn’t doing anything wrong (just running over that kid/stabbing my neighbor/beating up my wife/pulling a gun on my boss). People should stand up for their rights.”
Custerwolf: Hey lady. Nice avatar. (What the fuck is the blogcomments equivalent of a wolf whistle?)
So…… Let me make sure I have this:
We are going to break the law
We are making a BFD about breaking the law
When law enforcement prepares to follow up by pressing charges, we get indignant.
LOGIC FAIL but not for the first time I’m sure.
4tehlulz: Um, the point is we don’t want them in charge of their own land. Utah is way to precious to be left to Utahns. I know, I’m from there.
How did we leave out Freedom of Unrestricted Impulse Control from the Bill of Rights?
x111e7thst: “My local cops get mad when I shoot at ATV-tards (thanks grampa) for scaring my horses. What about my rights!”
Yeah, those pussy cops are generally against anything that raises the level of conflict. It makes more corpses for them them to pick up, and they’re just so damn lazy, paperwork, yada yada yada.
When My neighbors and I had a problem with dirt bike yokels (we live in the woods) the sheriff’s deputy that came out to meet us suggested that the tripwire-across-the-trail-technique could lead to putting us landowners on the wrong side of the liability question and pointed up at the trees, saying, “One of you guys got a chainsaw? Logs just don’t fall across paths all on their own, y’know.” That’s what we eventually did; what with our surplus of large trees and all. The sheriff made it clear he wasn’t going hurry on up and arrest trespassers when we called.
Q. What happens when a law-and-order wingnut encounters a law he doesn’t like?
A. He runs for the state legislature even though he doesn’t know crap and claims to hate government. Then he proceeds to have a bill drafted regarding his one stupid issue that is all about him and maybe 2 other people. Then he wastes everyone’s time on his stupid bill that doesn’t pass because it’s ill conceived and ridiculous. Then he leaves capital city for his ugly little hometown and tells all the trashy people back there how worthless government is.
They need to go to the many quiet, pristine Federally-owned lakes where they can ride their jet skis.
Come here a minute: These things cant ‘FLIP’ over fast enough.
and yea, I hope they hit their head on a rock and get kidney failure-
oh, too much?
The hilarious thing about these guys is that they also protested Clinton creating the Staircase-Escalante national park to begin with–they wanted to keep it in private hands (read: mining and cattle grazing). Government hands = 600 miles of trails for these jagoffs to use; private hands = 0 miles. Really, not very bright people down there.
If we’re going to do away with socialism can we start by putting lead back in our house paint? All these people have had to eat for a generation is latex paint chips and they just don’t seem that much smarter.
It’s a shame the BLM didn’t take a golden opportunity like this to weed out the gene pool.
Lazy Media: True story: As a kid, I especially hated the Calgary Flames because I thought they played where they killed Jesus. And the “Flames”, they must be like a bunch of Satanists.
Go PENS!
Lascauxcaveman: Full disclosure. I never actually shot at the fuckwads. Just kind of discharged a firearm for emphasis while yelling at them to get the fuck off my land. From the excitement amongst local law enforcement you would have thought I’d killed several instead of putting a couple of holes in some dirt near my feet..
4tehlulz: Frankly I’m surprised they haven’t just blown the darn thing up yet. In time.
Lascauxcaveman: “the sheriff’s deputy that came out to meet us suggested that the tripwire-across-the-trail-technique could lead to putting us landowners on the wrong side of the liability question.”
Yeah, it’s probably not a good idea anyway. My boyfriend once clotheslined a guy that way and he’s lucky it didn’t kill the poor bastard. But it worked.
Mustang: Or they get some fertilizer and diesel, and go to the local U-Haul and get one of those nice trucks to drive said materials to the nearest daycare cent…I mean local branch of the ZOG to defend their rights to drop diesel in the local protected water source/national forest.
I think I’ve just developed an allergy to federal buildings.
I love your writing Mr. Layne – you perfectly express the anger I feel towards these intellectually-bankrupt bullies. Thank you for your voice.
First offense they should get mandatory gay marriages. Second offense mandatory gay abortions. Oh fuck it one strike, cap their asses and leave them to the the coyotes.
ManchuCandidate: I want that on a bumper sticker! Call Cafe Press!
One Yield Regular: “I’m against the death penalty”
Me too. I think these fuckers should be lethally injected before they have a chance to do anything wrong.
Oh, Great Intertubes, the e-val guberment has taken away my right to ride roughshod over nature anywhere I want, especially in sensitive areas like stream beds! Where, oh where, I can ride a noisey, smokey machine to get closer to nature by scaring the bejebus out of small mammals?
Intertubes sez: Many places on guberment land in Utah, lead-ass, where you will have no worries about fences or getting shot at for being on private land. For example, see http://www.utah.com/offroad/.
Man I can’t believe *everybody* got to the Calvary/cavalry thing before I did. Wonkette readers, I salute your left-brained word Naziism.
Woo..
I’m ahead, I’m a man
I’m the first mammal to wear pants, yeah
I’m at peace with my lust
I can kill ’cause in God I trust, yeah
It’s evolution, baby
I’m at peace, I’m the man
Buying stocks on the day of the crash
On the loose, I’m a truck
All the rolling hills, I’ll flatten ‘em out, yeah
It’s herd behavior, uh huh
It’s evolution, baby
Admire me, admire my home
Admire my son, he’s my clone
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
This land is mine, this land is free
I’ll do what I want but irresponsibly
It’s evolution, baby
I’m a thief, I’m a liar
There’s my church, I sing in the choir:
(hallelujah, hallelujah)
Admire me, admire my home
Admire my son, admire my clones
‘Cause we know, appetite for a nightly feast
Those ignorant Indians got nothin’ on me
Nothin’, why?
Because… it’s evolution, baby!
I am ahead, I am advanced
I am the first mammal to make plans, yeah
I crawled the earth, but now I’m higher
2010, watch it go to fire
It’s evolution, baby
It’s evolution, baby
Let’s do the evolution
Come on, come on, come on
x111e7thst: “fapfapfapfapfapfap…..”
So, they got upset because someone wrote down the license plates? Hmmm, when I go to a pow-wow I assume they write down the license plates, cause they can’t have any uppity AIM folks running around taking back the country, it is a free country after all, except when you don’t share the populist opinion and well don’t run with the elephants. How does it feel? Been almost run over by their dune buggies on a number of occasions when I am out on the trails, they wave as they leave though so it’s OK.
V572625694: There might as well be a legend on this map that says HERE THERE BE TYGERS.
DirkLeisure: wrong. That law has been stuck down by SCOTUS, ages ago.
No access? What wrong with using your feet, you fat selfish asshole? Time to start throwing these fuckers in jail. We can let out some reefer monkeys to make room.
I love how these jags can tear up mt friggin rushmore and call it civil disobedience, but on the other side the sierra club hates me and my mountain bike…WTF?
Prommie: When i worked in the ER we called them “donor cicles”.
Teh “4 wheeler” off road retards around here are driving their rut/erosion- producing distruct-o machines all over mountainous BLM & USFS land.
The “no motorized vehicles” signs are ignored, fences pulled down, etc. There are no enforcement officers - no money in the budget for them.
The drunken, armed & dangerous champions of freedom are on the march.
HomoPolitico: win
Some guy just got slapped with a big fine from the State of Oregon for a mud bogging course that he set up. It was destroying the land and polluting a stream. This is why I can’t wait for the end of oil, even if it means I have to walk to work and bathe in cold water.
madtowngooner: That seems fair.
Can’t we build more unstable ATVs so they are easier to tip over? I also think they should give a case of Jack Daniels to everyone who buys one of those damn things so they quickly kill themselves.
I heartily endorse ATV use in the Gerry E. Studds Stellwagen Bank National Marine Sanctuary.
It has an average depth of 300 feet and all the whales are gaymarried.
This happens in (near) civiliation too…
There’s a jackass (and card carrying John Birch Society member) here in NJ who took farmland preservation money from the town and county and turned his dirt farm into a four wheeler race course for his white trash pals. Of course this isn’t “farming”, so all manner of law enforcement (and neighbors) are all over his case. Of course this jackass runs around screaming about the state taking away his rights, etc…
bfstevie: Instead of waterboarding Hannity, let’s strap him to the front of an ATV!
I know it is irrational and stupid, but I have a visceral hate of ATVs. They are sort of like confederate flag stickers on trucks in … MAINE !!!
Nothing good comes from them.
Why would you spend $6,000 to make your kids massively obese and stupid?
oh wait …
can’t we just “immunize” these good people with the same shit they immunized the subjects of the Tuskegee Experiment with? it’s very hard to drive an ATV or snowmobile* when you’re fucking blindz.
*fuck you, palins, a “snow machine” is what they use to decorate Houston lawns in December.
These idiots seem like the type who use the excuse of obeying the rule of law when it comes to things they don’t care for, like immigration, but feel fine throwing the law under a bus when it comes to things they disagree with, like abortion, which is legal, and separation of church and state (they probably applauded the Alabama judge who broke the law by displaying the 10 Commandments). Now they’re crying foul because there’s visual evidence of them breaking the law at a publicized event where the point was to break the law?
azw88: The penalties were struck down, but not the code itself. That’s why we’ll have to enforce it through the wingnut’s favorite form of justice: mob justice.
I hate the fuck nutz that ride horses on public trails too. They stomp the hell out of trails and leave gigantic piles of shit about every ten feet that their owners don’t seem to think anyone will mind. Every time I see the wannabe cowboys I want to shoot the rider and melt the horse down into glue.
I’ll revist this thread after I’ve drank enough beer to really lay into these ORVille cocksuckers.
lib tard: Hey, it’s not the horses fault. And for the record they don’t make glue out of horses, they make paste - that’s why it tastes so delicious.
The next retard that says they feel like this is a communist country needs to watch this video from someone who ACTUALLY LIVED IN ONE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc-xtWbtsck
The referrence in question is @ 8:57 but damn is he funny, hot and Romanian!
GreatOldOnesParty: “damn is he funny”
That was a dude?
Gorillionaire: Bet they didn’t even call the dadblamed gubmint commyewnist either.
One Yield Regular: Death penalty for their shiny expensive ATV toys would be enough. Watch ‘em cry as they get crushed…
plowman: Dirt bikes. Snowmobiles. Those goddamn leaf blowers (why can’t Mexicans use rakes, like proper serfs?)
Custerwolf: *she.
FIXED
Noonan: I still think of them as the Atlanta Flames, which shows you what a hardcore ice hockey fan I am. That’s what we call it down south, btw. Ice hockey. To distinguish it from that game that Yankee girls play with crooked sticks, which is equally foreign and inscrutable.
Here’s an easy fix for the ATV douchebags:
Superglue a BB to the primer of a 12-gauge cartridge, place this into a capped pipe about ½-in shorter than the cartridge (business end protruding out of pipe opening) and bury in the ATV paths with the top slightly above ground level and cover with leaves. Voila! ATV mines.
That should give them a hard lesson in rights.
Alan Keyes makes all these guys look like pussies.
GreatOldOnesParty: Damn. I really wanted to fuck him.
Dave J.:
JAGOFFS?
Another one from da Burgh?
Stalin’s boys would have just taken pictures of their licese plates?Dumb retarded sheep fuckers.
Woohoo, teabag party on wheels! Bring gunz! Sovreignty for everyone! Posse commitatus and County Commissioner Mark Habbeshaw for Emperor of Cowboy Country!
Classic d-bag libertarians with a High Noon complex. Too much Louis L’Amour and John Wayne.
If Habbeshaw keeps the rubes whipped up about this, maybe they won’t realize he gave away most of their water so his butt buddies can build nuclear power plants on the Green River near Canyonlands.
Literally. Comic book constitutionalists are that stupid.
no offense to any of you lovely wonketteers who drive these things, but seriously? they look like fat tools.
How many flannelmouth sucker, bluehead sucker, razorback sucker, and speckled dace can a slightly under-inflated set of 27×12x12 Kenda K299 Bearclaw ATVs attached to a Honda Fourtrax 300 grind into vichyssoise on the riverbed of one of the two tributaries of the Colorado River?
The world may never know!
I lived in Salt Lake City, behind the Zion Curtain, for three years. It’s another country out there. Making babies and riding in their 4 wheelers. Oh and add a good share of Gay Bashing. It’s a great place to move away from.
Type in “Muddin’” and “Whyin we do it.”
Aquannissiwamissoo: To keep up with the chicken and Doritos eating, Hawaiian Punch swilling inner city counterparts.
Wow… those ATV’s would make some might powerful vibrating dildos.
Haw haw haw haw. I lerv it!
Thank you Utah trash! You are making Alabama look so much better!
Good grief, and right-wing extremists call environmentalists “terrorists.” Here we have a bunch of fat extremists proclaiming that it’s their (literally) Christian-god-given right to fuck up and shit on every American’s pristine natural resources — land that ALL OF US OWN, not just fat piggy extremists — just because the notorious Bush regime allowed them to get away with shitting on the rest of us for 8 horrible years.
This makes me very angry! How dare they shit on every American citizen and fully expect to get away with it because they think crapping up our wilderness is some how their god-given right?!
There are places in the country where motorized vehicles are fully allowed, places set aside specifically for such fat disgusting fucks to shit all over themselves so that they’re not fouling the majority of Americans who consider the outdoors to be something to cherish, not shit on!
Such disreguard for the law, for the environment, and for the 380 million OTHER AMERICANS who own that land is so typical of Republicanism extremists.
Let’s hope that a bunch of them get cited and are ordered to perform community service picking up garbage along the highways and hiking trails in the area. Give those disgusting extremists some REAL exercise for a change while they’re afforded time off to think about what being an American is really about: Being responsible and not abusing one’s freedoms!
proudgrampa:
That would violate the rightards’ rights. }:-}