HAS ANYONE SEEN JIM NEWELL? Wonkette’s Capitol Hill Typing Demon was supposed to go to a dozen or more Media/Nobama parties over this White House Correspondents Dinner weekend, but we haven’t heard from him since Friday. Was he raped or killed or sent to Fox News or something?
LOST AND FOUND 1:07 am May 11, 2009
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 59 comments }
I just pray it wasn’t Fox news.
Has no one checked for a trail of whore diamonds? Perhaps he left clues, so you can finger his abductors.
[re=312920]Vivling[/re]: “…you can finger his abductors.”
Why does every conversation have to turn to porn?
Jim, come back to me!
I hope not. He’s the funny one.
Where is the first dude? Check that out and you may find him.
I suddenly have an erection.
Tonight: Bruins win, Celtics win, Red Sox win. Newell is somewhere, drunk.
Where’s Gary Condit?
[re=312924]Custerwolf[/re]: “Why does every conversation have to turn to porn?”
Why does a circle always meet back at it’s starting point?
[re=312933]Vivling[/re]: How can you meet what you’ve never left to begin with?
[re=312918]Custerwolf[/re]: They won’t hurt him much. They don’t know he’s kidding — call it the Colbert Effect.
Worst. Wonk’d. Ever.
[re=312935]V572625694[/re]: Perfect
I’ve heard all about the nasty things they’ve been doing to ginger kids recently. Seriously, it’s gone beyond just bad jokes and covert racism.
I hope our Jim is okay…
[re=312933]Vivling[/re]: “Why does a circle always meet back at it’s starting point?”
So the others will know where to find it?
Obama’s been using your Boehner and Steele material. Maybe Newell’s a speechwriter. Nobama wants to spread the funny around, but he won’t take my blog comments away.
[re=312938]The Unfairman[/re]: I love gingers.
[re=312938]The Unfairman[/re]: We need a hate crimes bill that protects ginger people from this danger. Just be sure that the christianist go to jail for it :)
[re=312939]Custerwolf[/re]: To distract congressmen who want to lube it up and have their way with it?
[re=312945]Vivling[/re]: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that?
[re=312946]Custerwolf[/re]: And thanks for sitting on my face.
Oh Christ, the PUMAs finally got him. They’ll send pictures of his quicklime-eroded corpse and throw in a couple of audio-farts for good measure.
[re=312947]Custerwolf[/re]: Hey, I wasn’t talking you, I was talking to her [re=312945]Vivling[/re]:
Sorry guys I’m really stoned. I’ll leave now.
[re=312942]tunamelt[/re]: Have always wanted to go ginger, just for the fuck of it, but hair color is not cheap.
[re=312949]Custerwolf[/re]: I don’t do much smoke anymore, but I was called dumb last night because I was drunk. Probably fair. I have a way with words.
He’s at Fox; they needed somebody to lube Sean Hannity up for Rush Limbaugh’s visit.
Showing concern for your staff (albeit in a jokey manner)? Layne, you’ll never beat Denton this way. The Internets are a harsh mistress.
[re=312952]lovekills[/re]: Sticks and stones, baby, sticks and stones.
[re=312956]Custerwolf[/re]: My bones are broke….
People, calm down… He’s safe and warm, being held captive in his mother’s basement – he hadn’t called her in a few weeks, and she’s a bit a bit smothering that way…
Ken, you need to read more wingnuts sites like Red State, Newsbusters or Fox Nation. Clearly Jim has finally given in to the Cult of Obama, and has been sent to Kenya to a top secret Mulin training camp, where he will be baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, and then sent back to the United States to be the first Commissar of the Internet, leading all of us into a glorious worker’s paradise.
I mean, duh.
[re=312928]lovekills[/re]: Heck, I’m still trying to find out what happened to Anna Marie Cox, but nobody tells me nothing.
Have you considered that he’s perhaps been “recruited” by Fox, with the help of a roofie at a Nobama party, and is currently being deprogrammed at some re-reeducation camp in Texas?
Kidnapped him— took him to Yosemite with us this weekend. Wined and dined him at Dewey point. There were no people there, so it worked out well.
[re=312959]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Mittens has the LDS covered. I think Jim is tucked into a b&b and laying low. Ken is a monster task master.
Wait, does this mean no one is wielding the ban hammer?
Anarchy Now!
[re=312938]The Unfairman[/re]:
Jim is not a Ginger. He is a Day Walker.
Cheney pulled his name in this weekend’s people hunt. Jim’s head is now glued to a triangular piece of wood above a fireplace in a Wyoming den.
It’s almost Noon, and I’m going out to lunch – Newell’s a big boy/meme/corporate-shill, and if he doesn’t turn up by, say 1:30pm, then let’s panic, but not until, mkay?
Speaking of Ana, can someone translate this?
Apparently 3 benadryls burmon makes U fell safe but every fuckng dude thought that it was souvenir item 2 leave on leave indierock was …9 minutes ago from Tweetie
He was so depressed by the dinner comedy.
Decided to get more depressed by having a close relationship with a mixologist.
[re=312960]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Exactly! why the coverup? Don’t worry about Jim, he’ll show up when he needs his car insurance paid.
[re=312960]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Heck, I’m still trying to find out what happened to Anna Marie Cox
Ha! Another ginger. Coincidence?
Anyhoo, I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for Jim’s disappearance, and nothing to do with FOX. He was probably abducted by aliens and given an anal probe. Or perhaps while chasing down a story came across one of those Japanese who still thinks World War 2 is still going on and is now a prisoner of war. More likely he found evidence that Jesus really did start the Carolingian dynasty and is on the run from the Knights Templar. It could be any one of these, or a combination of two or more. Either way I’m going to look like an ass if this doesn’t have a happy ending.
[re=312927]NYNYNY[/re]: Brilliant, sir/madam. And well-played.
[re=312924]Custerwolf[/re]: All conversations eventually turn to porn in the same way that all roads lead to Rome. Porn is the psychic center of our universe.
Newell – Where are you? I saw you on GChat earlier so I am convinced that you are still alive and well! I’ll be arriving in DC early Tuesday morning to bust some balls over at the Census Director’s Senate confirmation hearing….meet up for drinks or parties or something?
- Stephen Robert Morse
Executive Editor, MyTwoCensus.com, the non-partisan watchdog of the 2010 Census
[re=312978]gurukalehuru[/re]: “Porn is the psychic center of our universe.”
Are you saying that gazing at porn allows you to read the future?
Hmmmm….I always suspected.
[re=312960]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Check with Rachel Maddow. She (Cox) was doing a lot of gratuitous … shoulder … moving last time I saw her on Maddow.
Mystery solved. Or is it?!!!!
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/90506674-Newell
Did anyone check any of Cheney’s underground bunkers? I have a feeling there is some kind of wacky B-movie head transplatation going on.
I’m enjoying the quiet.
[re=312989]grevillea[/re]: First thing I did this morning was to come to this thread to check on our dear ginger’s whereabouts. Thank god our Aussie correspondent had the benefit of antipodal daytime hours to do the necessary sleuthing to locate him.
I have him in my basement and I’m forcing him to read newspapers made with real paper. He will be returned mostly unharmed for one IPod and a six pack of GOOD beer. No Bud Lite!
MG
Rape, murder and Fox News is listed in order of severity. Finally, someone gets it!
……..rewinding black-market Star Trek dvd….can’t stop….
[re=312984]Custerwolf[/re]: Absolutely! Every time I have ‘gazed’ I have been overcome by the certain foreknowledge that what I was seeing would never happen to me. As precognition, it is pretty limited in scope – BUT 100% ACCURATE.
[re=312962]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
Get some?
[re=313060]Beau Radley[/re]: That’s too bad, I somehow manage to find myself in frequent porno-type scenerios. Of course when ordering my delivery pizzas I do always request the extra meat with a happy ending, so sometimes I think I may just be asking for it.
[re=313270]Custerwolf[/re]: Is that famous BC Bud available in your area?
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