Wonkette
- CBS GOLF ASSHOLE HAS MURDER PLANS FOR, UH, NANCY PELOSI: “From my own experience visiting the troops in the Middle East, I can tell you this, though: despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Osama bin Laden, there’s a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death.” [The Hill]
But would he serve President Obama some fried chicken and watermelon?
I’d shoot the first two people who tried to yell “FORE!” if a golf ball were hurling toward this fucker’s head.
“…troops love former President Bush by contrast, and praised the former commander-in-chief for having prevented additional terrorist attacks during his time in office.”
Sure.
Yet more evidence of the way sports build character.
Why do people play golf?
And why (an even deeper mystery) do people watch golf on television?
Hasn’t this guy been busted for calling all LPGA members lezbos? If not, whatever. Let’s just waterboard him, for the lols, also.
And it’s talking about people like Keith Luke. You remember him, don’t you?
http://www.wickedlocal.com/brockton/news/police_and_fire/x1393564889/VIDEO-EXTRA-Accused-killer-Keith-Luke-in-Brockton-court-with-swastika-on-his-forehead
In prison they’ll get to watch as much Hannity as they want, and continue
attending their Christian church services. FOX’s like paradise for them.
Yipes! Beavis & Butthead grown-up, for reals.
I like the last sentence of the first para of his wiki. Really sums up such a thoughtful quote.
David Feherty (born 13 August 1958) is a former European Tour and PGA Tour professional golfer, who now works as a writer and broadcaster. He is known by many for his good sense of humour.
Why don’t you pass the time by playing a little solitaire?
No wonder Feherty retired, recommending shooting a 2 on a par one.
It’s 5 p.m. on Friday. I must soon drink.
Wait… wait… back up, it’s in an article “welcoming former President George W. Bush back to Dallas”?
OK, just checking.
Or how about they would put a bullet or two in bin Laden and not shoot ANY elected representatives of the government of the country they are sworn to protect because they are goddamn professionals who recognize that we do not do things by military coup in this country?
Part of this support-the-troops thing the right is always going on about? Having the courtesy to recognize that they tend to be decent and patriotic individuals, not fucking mercenaries who settle their political differences with US-issue weapons while in uniform.
“Mr. President, you certainly can’ t say that Dallas doesn’t love you.”
*CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK*
Accordion-o-rama: zing!
walkaway: Well said. Now take a deep breath. The one thing you can tell about this douche bag Feherty without even looking it up is that when his country needed healthy young men to defend it, he was out on the back nine.
walkaway: well-put - my Navy husband *despises* Bush, but didn’t talk about it much during the administration, because part of his duty is to not badmouth the representatives of the people they are sworn to protect.
this appeared in “D Magazine”? Seriously? Dallas really shouldn’t set itself up so easily - I mean, I was thinking that this must have appeared in “Douchebag Magazine” *before* I saw the name.
Accordion-o-rama: Oh, the irony. I could just club him with it.
walkaway: right on. interesting!
V572625694: Haha, yeah, Friday afternoon drinking brings out my inner rage, apparently. [tries calming yoga breaths]
Men’s Pro Golf: 95% rich conservative assholes, 5% too drunk to answer the question.
And for that reason, Nancy Pelosi will see to it that Soldiers for Bush will stay in Baghdad forever. Baba Ghanoush, anyone?
Says more about golfers than it says about either Nancy Pelosi or our soldiers.
Jukesgrrl: It looked like a neat hobby until I ran into a bunch of people who did it. It IS a good walk spoiled.
What happens to golf announcers who trash Republicans?
Or is he actually trashing the anonymous US soldier?
Deep thinking for this maroon is whether to use somebody should use nine iron approach when a slight breeze is blowing left to right on the sixth hole, a par five with a back-sloping green. In reverent, whispered tones, I commentate: Fuck him.
Meh — this guy does irreverent humor for a living and his writing is actually enjoyable (usually). Really naive to think his Dallas-focused piece was just going to stay in Dallas. He’s going to get crucified for this.
Hahaha! Nancy Pelosi should knock this dweeb’s balls around with a 9-iron, then crank them through the washer a few times.
i been turnin this thing round and round and i can’t find the funny in it. must be my military background. time for a drink.
Custerwolf: You are a funnny, freaky-ass, slut. I know you consider that a compliment, so you’re welcome.
The bacteria of bacteria have more edumacation than this sportscaster.
What would be good would be if some Army people and/or some other golfers came forward to say “Geez, that guy with his Pelosi comment, we want to say that that was beyond the pale. Noone else thinks like that. That guy is nutty and deserves our opprobrium.”
But really, nobody is going to get the opprobrium. Nobody even is going to mention the opprobrium. It’s all going to be like “Will Tiger Woods do it again!!!?!?!11!”
The opprobrium will probably just stay on the shelf there next to the empathy -
the lady MS.Sheila Dixon: And as long as I have a face you will always have a place to sit.
walkaway: That would mean that they would have to start acting like adults, and that’s not being fair.
GreatOldOnesParty: and by “them” I mean the conservatards who have a hard on for the military but wouldn’t have the common sense to NOT hand someone a loaded weapon barrel-first.
Lemming Caution: My ex-Army, ex-husband (got that?) said way back in 2000 that W was a “spoiled ass ignorant frat boy getting by on his family name and that there would be hell to pay if elected”
Only thing the man was ever right about…ever…also
Custerwolf: I just hurled in my mouth a little. I really need to work on my stripped ‘t’s.
The math is simple. Golf + Texas = Insufferable pee-drinkers.
Is this going to turn into one of those gun-nut threads? ‘Cuz if it is, I may have to go hit some balls.
Well, in truth, it’s hard not to like just a little bit someone who says this;
Feherty said that his therapy for depression was instrumental with him getting off the bottle, saying that “I used alcohol to mask my inner demons”. The outspoken columnist then took a shot at actor and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise, who has said that therapy and drugs are useless and that depression can be cured by physical exercise: “Actually, some sort of exercise would have helped me. If I kicked the shit out of Tom Cruise, I’d feel a lot better about myself.”
I’m not sure an elevator is a good place for a gun battle. How about a treehouse?
And from my experience with people, the odds that an average person know who Nancy Pelosi is and what the Speaker of the House does is minimal. To give you some perspective: a man asked me what the difference between a credit card and debit card is in the grocery store yesterday. I think that man has a lot to learn before we get to the branches of the government.
Judging by the suicide rate of our troops deployed in the Middle East, odds are Mr. Anonymous GI would save at least one of those bullets for himself.
Okay, I’ll bite…
So just how does one get Nancy, Harry, and the CIA Spook into the same elevator?
Why would any well-trained military personnel merely have 2 bullets?
So, 3 adults and a shooter in a standard 2m x 2m lift…it would have to be a hand gun…and one bullet can do magic (thanks, Spector)…even more so at close range…
Clearly it is treasonous to suggest the murder of any elected official, not phunny in the least, and frankly, not thought-out very well, either. Fail all around.
Golf clap to him (”clap” meaning, in this instance, case of the crabs).
Perhaps if he had whispered it while showing idyllic images of rolling grass and trees, it would have had less of an edge to it.
p.s. Is the U.S. soldier then going to drink their blood? And if so, the one he shot or strangled? Just wonderin.
Feherty: Not from here. Drunk most of the time.
From my own experience serving in Iraq, I can tell you that 90 percent of the troops below field grade rank have no opinion about Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi, and most of them haven’t even heard of either of them. 99 percent of the troops (including me) have never heard of this golf asshole.
Custerwolf: Shit, I forgot that phrase has been outlawed here. May I use the term “technicolor yawn”? Very well then.
Lazy Media: Thank you so much for your service. I owe you.
From your CSI psychology: Shooting is impersonal while strangling is physical and up-close. David sounds queerly closeted.
V572625694: the mere fact that human beings invented both golf and teevee is a testament to our capacity for perversity.
Feherty, please return to Ireland and get caught in the middle of a RIRA/PSNI firefight.
Sláinte Mhath, also!
slappypaddy: It would have been funnier if a priest and rabbi were also on the elevator.
Have you ever noticed how fucking violent conservatives assholes are? It makes me want to punch them all in the neck.
This is exactly why I prefer Pinko Liberals. All they ever impose on people in the smell of their patchoili oil and have group butt sex with ugly people. Everyone is happy about it, too!
Uh… patchouli! Excuse me. Do you have a Kleeenex?
Jeez, I’m sorry about those typos. Don’t you hate it when you’re typing with one hand and trying to reach under the sink for a bottle of vermouth at the same time? One day I will learn.
That does not sound like an effective murder-suicide spree. You are supposed to save one bullet to off yourself at the end. Who’se ever ended a murder-suicide spree by strangling themselves? Our troops at least know that.
V572625694: “Why do people play golf? And why (an even deeper mystery) do people watch golf on television?”
It would be alot more interesting if they got that guy who shouted GOAL GOAL GOAL like in Mexican Soccer
I don’t understand the right wing’s hatred of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid. What have they ever done to make them angry?
prophet1195: Yeah, I saw that on the front page of my mom’s Patriot Ledger. Ah Brockton. The Pride of Mass. What an evil twat that fat fucker is. I hope he gets some more razors, this time maybe to his wrists so the world can be rid of this useless piece of shit.
From my experience of the military, I’d guess they are mostly interested in booze and pussy and probably dope as well. Some may be Reptiles, some may be Demons, lots will be nothing political.
Zhu Bajie
kthxbai…also: Was he a Viet Nam era draft dodger? It’s a requirement for older Republifucks, isn’t it?
Zhu Bajie
snideinplainsight: I doubt he has the courage to actually attack Tom Cruise.
Zhu Bajie
Bruno: It was a joke by some drunken Scots! Robin Williams revealed this years ago.
Zhu Bajie
MrsNateSilver: It would be such a shame if this worthless twat got MRSA AND HIV through that pretty little cum-target forehead Swastika of his… what?… no, really?… MRSA is all over the fuckin’ place in prisons?… wow, ya don’t say….
Bearbloke: I compliment your boldness, sir.
Bearbloke: and hospitals. especially hospitals.
all those antibacterial disinfectants breeding a strain of unstoppable UBERbacteria.
they’d have to remove chunks of his forehead.
prophet1195: if you watch that video, look at the side of his head where the muscles are that connect to his jaw bone. This kid may be smilin’ on the outside, but he knows he’s fucked.
Scarab: For the win.
People, please! We should follow Barry’s example in our personal lives and find ways to reach across the aisle and find issues, everybody can support, like hating on Pelosi and Reid!
David Feherty is afraid. Afraid that some Muslims or Negros might overrun his own personal golf course.
But now that Dubya’s moving in, there’s an added measure of security, for the time being, at least.
Still, he’s always got that gig at “D Magazine.” The premier publication for golfing and over-priced restaurants in Dallas.
I don’t know why I read the comments on sites like that. Some super genius complains that those villainous liberals at Media Matters didn’t raise a stink about that “documentary,” Death of a President.
You know, because that’s exactly the same thing as what Feherty said.
I’m surprised this deep thinker didn’t complain that Media Matters never demanded an apology for the scene in W. where fake Bush is fake choking on a fake pretzel. That was clearly an attempt on the fake presidents’ life by the writers!
It makes sense if you’re fucking stupid.
At the close range of an elevator the standard issue M-16A2 bayonet would be more than adequate for the job described here…
What’s missed in all this liberal foaming-at-the-mouth is the very real disconnect between The Left and the Joe/Jose Six-packs of the world, there are a lot of us out here in all different colors and places. Nancy Pelosi is the poster child for filthy-rich liberal politicos who wants the rabble to shelp around on mass transit to save the planet while she takes a government jetliner home for the weekend but thinks we are too stupid to notice, fuck that bitch!
plowman: Oh shut up and move to the back of the bus.
Speaking of all different colors, I think the drunken Irish golf guy actually wanted to have John Boehner strangled, but he’s afraid all that orange glop Boehner paints all over himself would get all over his hands.
plowman: Weird, cause all the Jose’s voted for Obama and most of the Joe’s out in the six-pack areas did too. Personally, as a wacky rich ass liberule I want them to take away your car and your gun and make you walk. Everywhere. Always. Barefoot.Unarmed. Not everyone, just you.
It’s Mother’s day go love your mother.
Man, reading the comments on The Hill sites was hilarious. Its not hard to see why the republican party if going the way of the Whigs. Im surprised the people agreeing with Feherty on there get access to media from their bunkers.
DC Hates Me: Well a good soldier would shoot the one most likely to kill them leaving the weaker for later.
So the mean old grandma lady is more of a threat than the Mormon or the Muslim?
plowman: Nancy should ride the Metro to California like a good American!
Wha?
Custerwolf: Do short buses have backs?
102415: Man, I hate to break this to you but Pelosi and Obama are TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
plowman: No shit?!!I had no idea a troll would know that. I’m glad to hear you and the various Joes voted for Obama. Carry on.
Jesus Christ please do not ever link to The Hill again. I was totally unprepared for the amount of gibbering, slavering, wild-eyed right-wing lunacy in the comments. It’s like Free Republic + “28 Days Later” over there.
V572625694: And why (an even deeper mystery) do people watch golf on television?
Because it is slightly more interesting than watching turds turn white.
Slightly.
102415: Glad to be of service to you! Hey, I kind of like you, when we sansculottes take over maybe I’ll put in a good word for you before you are liquidated…