Wonkette
Alan Keyes wanted to get arrested at Notre Dame and thrown in jail forever so very much that… well he just COULD NOT WAIT until the actually graduation ceremony in nine days! He and some friends were apprehended on the Notre Dame campus today, for trespassing: “Keyes was among a group of 26 protesters, some of them pushing baby carriages with dolls covered in fake blood.” Is your pscyhology all fucked up now, liberals?! Oh. Anyway all of these folks turned down the $250 bail option and will starve to death in this jail… meaning more abortions for the rest of us! [Chicago Breaking News]
Shoot, 3 meals a day & free room & board. Whre do I sign up!?
That picture has ‘African Death Mask’ written all over it.
Their thought-provoking actions have completely turned me around on the issue of Choice. Thank you Alan for your poignant, well thought out, and erudite addition to the public forum.
He’ll get an opportunity to discuss the sinfulness of teh buttsecks while his cellmate rapes him.
It has begun. “President” Hussein is locking up his political enemies, including his long-time rival and biggest threat in 2012, Alan Keyes. Neal Horsely, go into hiding! Take to the hills!
Also, a friend of mine met his daughter and said she was wonderful and adorable. Weird, huh?
Well… My !
Brendan M.:
“Adopted, huh?”
/fixed
Mad Farmer Manifest: He’s gotta do his research somehow, right?
Is Newell drunk already? I guess “pscyhology” is kind of cool.
Hey, I just noticed, Keyes is no longer the nuttiest republican. Not even top ten anymore. he’s ho hum garden variety nuts, compared to the New Face of the republican party, the incoherent, empathy-hating teabaggers.
Seems like Alan’s got a bad case of Premature Demonstration.
magic titty: I actually have a bunch of African masks, and they tend to be a little more intelligent and thoughtful than that.
correction:
Well…my n—ga!
He couldn’t get molested at a crazy-as-shit wet soggy teabag party if he manscaped his ass and balls and walked around crying “I lost my mommy.” Why won’t the republicans give this man some fuckin LOVE?
Bearbloke: I don’t know. John McCain had a ghostwriter write all his books and is notoriously hard to keep on message, and he is really not a very articulate or effective communicator. But his daughter is a dynamic, insightful, and gifted writer (totes Pulitzer material, amirite?), which explains her six-figure book deal. Sometimes the apple does fall a fair distance from the tree.
why does a black man want to get arrested in the age of obama? doesn’t he know he can be prezdint too?
Of course they turned down the $250 bail option. We’re talking prison buttsecks - it’s like hotel sex for old married couples.
Brendan M.: The gay one? I hear she is a very nice woman indeed. Then again, she’s been disowned, so that sort of makes sense.
And that “fake doll blood” was good old American ketchup, too! Take that President Frenchie-burger!
AnnieGetYourFun: What, do you think a girl growing up with male role-models like Keyes or Cheney could end up straight?
I’ll never forget the first time I saw Alan Keyes. It was one of the televised republican presidential debates. In he walked, dark as midnight, and I was all like ‘wtf is he doing there? Who the hell is that?’ Then he opened his mouth and spoke, and I understood.
The very fact that these losers wanted to stay bunked up in the South Bend jail just solidifies their idiocity. Hell, do them all a favor and ship ‘em to Gary.
I must say that Alan Keyes is one unattractive man (& it doesn’t help that he’s ate up with the stoopid). He almost looks like a member of the Lizard People. I’m just waiting for that tongue to sneak out & nab a fly in mid-air.
He looks as though he is in the middle of an intensely enjoyable bowel movement.
Oh man, he’s in the St. Joseph County Jail. They even name their prisons after Jesus’ surrogate dad. Alan’s in for some deep shit now.
Here’s hoping his cell-mates Rocco and Killer empathize him real good…
Ketchup on babies is wimpy. Gasoline and Bic lighters to mimic the eternal hubs of hell is way more attention-getting, I have found.
Scandinavian Fetus: Is there another kind?
dijetlo: Well, I think I gave myself an episiotomy once, and I am a dude.
God, I love the abortion.
That pic of Keyes looks like a really, really high Miles Davis (circa ESP)
That pretty much fills up the entire southbend jail, so, like 10 to a cell. he’ll be hungry enough to eat a fetus sandwich come monday. unless he’s got one of those oprah kfc coupons stuck up his ass .
Everyone knows that the “good girls” from southbend go to michigan to abort. And don’t even get me start on their fag ass priests. They felch communion wafers.
Scandinavian Fetus: If your a dude, that wasn’t an episiotomy…try not to wait until situations reach a crisis before you act. Prunes also
dijetlo: Well, I was split hither and tither, parted the taint, and ended up with a bifurcated urethra.
I still call it an episiotomy.
Embryos are BABYS!!!!!!
and darn CUTE ones,too
Help! Help! A dingo ate Alan Keyes’ tadpole embryo baby thing!!!
Scandinavian Fetus: Sounds more like an epiphany.
OK, Hurry Barry, let’s nominate a bunch of un-empathetic judges.
Not paying the $250 bucks saves you hotel and male prostitute expenses.
Have the liberals passed out condoms in jail to prevent the spread of HIV?
Scandinavian Fetus: Agreed, and clearly that needs to be the gist of the alt-text, hint, hint.