Wonkette
NBC READER COMMENT OF THE DAY: Turns out that when you write a post speculating that Obama visited the hamburger store yesterday to distract the public and media from a top-secret mission to bomb Canada or outlaw the mongoose, some people don’t get the joke. “What kind of right-wing extremist are you, Sara. Statements from you continue to make us intelligent folks wonder why you are still employed. Honestly, ‘If you wake up tomorrow morning to discover we’ve bombed Canada, or outlawed the mongoose, well then there’s your answer. Till then: vigilance.’ What kind of drugs are you on? Vigilance against what and by whom? A great president who is an honest, life loving, regular guy? Forever the idiot, Sara.” [NBC Miami]
Forever the Idiot, by Joan Baez. Ahhhh, good times.
Oh, still getting comments from Denby, are you?
Outlaw mongeese? What’s next, outlawing cock-jackals?
Some jokes just don’t play in Peoria, Sara.
Hope you weren’t expecting more from tools who get their news from NBC.
Think about it: Canada … Cambodia
They share many of the same letters.
I say the bombing is real.
When you outlaw mongooses [mongeese?], only the cobras have guns. Or something.
Mongeese?
so I should short sell my “mongoose” stock?
No, the joke has to be on Sara. No way.
The snark level is only at level 7 or so. AOL Political Machine is at 8.5.
Other excellent comment there:
“So after building the guy up as if he were a saint, or more, with halo photographs etc., the meme is now to make him a likeable man of the people. Is that why all the MSM reports on this self-censored the President of the common man aksing for fancy, Dijon mustard on his burger? Or was the reason for the self-censorship because the proles couldn’t possibly sympathize with a man who wants fancy mustard, so let’s cut it out?”
Dijon! It’s fancy! From in France! Those cheese-eating surrender monkeys don’t know doodley about real American mustard, like, uh….French’s.
I rather fancied this one - did a mom post it?
“Sara, stop with cutsy wise cracks. They aren’t cute or funny. They simply show your lack good sense and desperation.”
What is a “cutsy” wise crack, anyway?
Ah, the sweet earnestness of AOL users with dial-up. That commenter will learn soon enough that a day trip to a burger joint couldn’t possibly cover some executive overreach. Now if President Obama appeared at the beach shirtless, Canada would be well and truly fucked.
Serolf Divad: Canada… Cambodia… Canadian Goose… Cambodian Mongoose. You’re onto something.
He probably thinks the Daily Show is serious and freaked out when Jon Stewart actually MOCKED (OMG MOCKED!!!111!!!) Obama.
Sounds like someone’s snark-o-meter is broken…. Geez, when someone tells her/him a knock-knock joke, s/he probably goes and answers the door.
President’s Fur-Burger Trip Captivates Nation
I dare Obama to kiss the face-transplant lady, Mr. Honest, Life Loving, Regular Guy. I double-dog dare him!
Wonkette is like opposite MENSA. You can’t expect common people to grasp the beauty of truck nutz.
To avoid confusuion, satire should always be accompanied by a smiley face emoticon, just like the one Horace used.
I wonder if any of these idiots ever accidently click on the link to here? If so, welcome to teh funny, idiots!
Canada … Cambodia … have you ever seen them in a room together?
Canmon (the Inadequate): Jonathan Swift was big on following every sentence with “JK!”
V572625694: Dijongate has begun in earnest…
Personally, I wouldn’t take on a mongoose with anything less than a .50 cal. Beowulf.
They’re nasty, vicious creatures that move like . . . well . . . mongooses. (Mongeeses?)
You wouldn’t want to into the high grass after one that you’d only wounded.
Hemingway wrote a short story about such an incident. But in “The Short Happy Life of Francis MacComber,” he changed the mongoose to a lion, so as not to shock his audience.
Boy! Boy! Another gin and tonic here! Chop! Chop! And put some ice in it this time, you bloody little wog! . . . .
Jukesgrrl: Canbodia.
Oh, well, had to happen. This is what comes from allowing people to use Google without a license.
Cambodia was definitely the second Shooter. However, following the papertrail of comments leads in 2 directions. Canada obviously has the motive and Cambodia is jostling for the international spotlight. I think we should look at the Rice Cartels. Both countries produce rice (Canadian Long-Grain Wild and Cambodian-Pot-Sticker) and Both countries have been ruled by brutal dictatorships.
“Forever the idiot, ,” is going to be my go-to phrase of insta-dismissal along with an eye roll. It may even contend with the excellent “Jane, you ignorant slut,” as a great rebuttal starter.
…and by ‘Google’ I mean ‘teh Intarwebs’. Damn.
Bomba la canada?)
Does the high and mightiness Sarah (the gubernatoress, not our editoress)want to connect that bridge to nowhere by putting a freeway from her house to our house? Quick, move the fence; it’s on the wrong border.
V572625694: “While Obama eats hamburgers (with Dijon mustard no less, but the press doesn’t want us to know that)”
We both enjoyed the same criticism of the MSM. “They” don’t want you to know about the ACORNS, the secret Muslim faith or the Kenyan birth. Or is it Indonesian? I’m not sure because “they” don’t want us to know, along with refusing to tell us whether Hopey used Grey Poupon or a knockoff.
ignatius_riley: What is a “cutsy” wise crack, anyway?
Typo, obviously she meant “cuntsy”.
ignatius_riley: a snark-n-a-fart, obviously. duh.
ignatius_riley: maybe i should have said: i dunno, why dn’t you ask your MOM? lol.
damned by another lost opportunity.
Doglessliberal: Oscar Wilde was known to use LOLOLOLOLOL.
Remember that time he admitted to loving waffles so much he would rather eat them than discuss the rather uncomfortable topic of fellow Democrat Jimmy Carter’s views on the Middle East?
In truth, the same could probably be said of his love of enemas and root canals.
“They simply show your lack good sense and desperation.”
A lack of desperation has short-circuited many promising pundit careers.
I blame Michelle Bachmann. After the complete idiocy of some of her (and similar wignuts’) statements, it can be hard to differentiate parody from the real thing; no matter how ridiculous you get, someone will say something even more crazy, but mean it.
THIS IS UNACCECTABLEA. EVRRY 1 LIEKS TEH BURGZ. Y0U R JUS ANGER CUZ Y0U WANNT TEH BURGZ 2S.
RIGHT WING HACK!1 LEEV BAMA LONE!!11ne!00
of course there’s always the possibility it was posted by someone also named sara who thought she would go ahead and sign off in her regular style. like “yours, truly” except Sara Commenter signs herself “Forever the Idiot, Sara.” Nice of her to let her correspondents know where she’s coming from. She’s filling out her Mother’s Day card the same way, right now.
Damn, those people are STUPID! Please, out of the gene pool, before you reproduce.
Come here a minute: wasn’t he mayor of Detroit, too?
I won’t post the over-the-top comments I normally do at Ken’s AOL blog because the people at Sara’s are already beyond anything I could think up.
And I’m sure a lot of them operate heavy machine and have children. THEY should start doing teh drugz.
Neilist: ….speaking of weasely creatures that should be outlawed.
Jukesgrrl: Canada Cambodia hmm are they brothers?
Yes, Sara, what kind of drugs are you on?
And did you bring enough for all of us?
“After the complete idiocy of some of her (and similar wignuts’) statements, it can be hard to differentiate parody from the real thing; no matter how ridiculous you get, someone will say something even more crazy, but mean it.”
Isn’t that Poe’s Law of the Internet?
Maybe one of those bombs intended for British Columbia will accidentally hit Wasilla.
I like this one:
“Ms Smith - Well done. And they say that there is nothing for comedians to do with this administration! I hope for your sake that you don’t have any racy photos from your teens, or a daughter with an out of wedlock baby, or delinquent child support payments, or back taxes, or that you aren’t licensed to do your job, or that you have gone into Ft Marcy Park, etc. And oh by the way, expect your boss to come knocking on your door in 5, 4, 3…. Cheers!”
Yes, Sara, I hope you don’t have any of these and also, Ken is at your door?
Sense of humour FAIL!
Neilist: I believe the plural is Mongii.
AnnieGetYourFun: Yeah, that one was weird. It sounded at first like praise, but quickly became… something else? I’m really not sure where she was headed with that one.
“I hope you don’t have skeletons in your closet, and I assume that you have fairly regular interactions with your superiors at work. But I am going to convey this sentiment in a hostile manner, possibly utilizing a Faulkner-length sentence about midway through. And who the fuck says ‘Cheers!’?”
Fucking PUMA douchebags.
Zadig: Americans who spent two weeks in London in their twenties.
When they came for the mongeese, I said nothing, because I was not, etc.
Sara, maybe you better just stick to writing for us, where you’re appreciated.
Yeah, Sara, if you want some “street cred”, like a hipster journalist who’s down with where it’s at, you should do some investigating into where the “bailout” money went. Because that is the hip story of the day.
Custerwolf: CrustedWorp: I’ve tried to tell you before: I’m just Not INTERESTED.
In mongooses (or mongeeses), either.
Pass the word to Rikki-Tikki-Tavi, or whatever the little bugger’s name was, would you?
Boy! Boy! Another G&T, here! Chop! Chop! And ice this time, comprende? I-C-E!
Mild Midwesterner: Coincidence? Or conspiracy? Let’s ask Michelle Bachmann.
You mean the Miami (really Key West) internets reader put down the bong long enough to criticize Sara????
LOSER.
Zadig: I do. As an ex-colonial, it is my birthright. Cheers! Also, bottoms up, and chin-chin! (Do not use that last one in Japan.)
Neilist: Aw..I just knew you’d come back, sweetie.
Whew - they finally outlawed the mongoose.
FOX News is reporting that ALL of the videos claiming to capture El Presedente’s wasteful spending Virginia luncheon with Veep Biden were actually dubbed!
According to FOX, Der Fuhrer Osama actually said, “Hey homie, gimme one a’ dem mongoose burgers straight up wit catsup, Dijon pompadour, and arugula trimmed with herb….yo!”
Den….I mean Then, Baa’arak Hula Obama clubbed the cashier with his Secret Service Colt 45 (not the gun, but the big family size Malt Liquor can), took off with the week’s payroll and burned rubber in the Cadillac SUV, knocking over an old lady and three six-graders at the corner.
What a silly reader. But, what drugs are u on?