Wonkette
Do you know what’s worse than a LEVEL FOUR flu pandemic freakout? A LEVEL FIVE flu pandemic freakout — it is like four, but plus another, to equal five. Things can only get one more number worse than what will soon be announced, the Level 5 — and that, as you probably already suspect, is a Level SIX (6) pandemic freakout. Stocks ended sharply higher. [EuroNews]
You simply cannot get more French than that dude, unless you had pictured him running away from pirates.
Who knew the Mayans were so awesome at predicting epidemiological outbreaks.
Also.
When it gets to Level 666, it’s all over, my friends.
So do they recomend that we bash each other’s skulls open and feast on the warm goo inside?
Or the old standbye, “When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”
It may be a good time to revisit Patrick McManus’s “Modified Stationary Panic,” employing this method will save much energy that would be wasted if you engage in a Full Bore Linear Panic (FBLP).
I remember life as North (not US) America SARS ground zero just 6 years ago. Good times. Good times.
All I hold now is pharmaceutical and agricultural stocks + gold and ammo. You suckas are goin’ to be comin’ to me with your bucketloads of Ameros
Are we close enough to the point where we can just drink gin in public and walk around pantsless, since we’re all about to go anyway? Because thats what I’m holding out for.
As a person who surfs Wonkette while being employed by a French company, that picture is apt. Very APT.
Is Level 5 worse or better than Threat Level Orange?
heckovajob, porky
Rumack : Alright, now we know what we’re up against. Every passenger on this flight who had fish for dinner will become violently ill in the next half hour.
Elaine : Just how serious is it Doctor?
Rumack : Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat. When the virus penetrates the red blood cells, the victim becomes dizzy begins to experience an itchy rash, then the poison goes to work on the central nervous system, severe muscle spasms followed by the inevitable grueling. At this point, the entire digestive system collapses accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence. Until finally, the poor bastard is reduced to a quivering wasted piece of jelly.
Panic on the streets of London
Panic on the streets of Birmingham
I wonder to myself
Could life ever be sane again?
I suggest they recalibrate the scale to max out at 11. 11, for when they need a little extra (*thrusts pelvis*).
my freakout goes to 11.
What,no Spinal Tap references yet? Slackers.
i LIVE @ level 7.
Can I turn muslim now and get my 100 virgins in space?
Prez Press Conference 8pm about ye olde Bubonic Plague Part Deux on the move starring Charlie Sheen (hope against all hope!).
Hooray For Anything: Yes, but not as bad as Threat Level Trannies in Turquoise.
Ah, a superfluous dictionary 4 the French 1337. Good choice. Total 18, 3 times 6. 666
51dimes: No. Pantless will not do. We must look to our French and Libyan dandies for the appropriate freakout-wear and bemused expressions. Public gin-swilling, however, is always in fashion in endtimes.
I just like saying “Who Scale.” Who Scale? Who Scale! Who? Scale? Who Scale?
I also like saying “Dr Keiji Fukuda.”
What happened to you, were you attacked by a Keiji Fukuda?
What’s in that box, a Keiji Fukuda?
Sir, would you like some Keiji Fukuda with your TruckNutz?
Oh yeah? Whatever happened to Bird Flu? I’ll decide when I give a shit. In the meantime I’m makin’ ribs now that we’ve got all this cheap pork lyin’ around.
WadISay: mookworthjwilson: gurukalehuru: What’s that thing about great minds thinking alike? Must have been talking about someone else. Nonetheless, I am going to play the number (424) tonight.
Well, of course stocks ended higher. It’s those pork belly futures, I’m telling you!
I’m waiting for Bachman to point out that “pandemic” = “panic” with “dem” in the middle.
That book looks great. Anyone read it? Is it better English or French?
Bruno: Smart. Like I always say, time to buy gold, silver and oil! And guns and ammo. And Hobo beans.
Also. Also.
Mild Midwesterner: Surely, you can’t be serious
I’m only familar with national security alerts - what color does Level 5 related to? Brown, Turquoise?
Hooray For Anything: What ever happened to that nonsense, anyway?
Just to make it perfect, Chrysler is filing BR tomorrow, per reports.
WadISay: Ooooooh …
Yeah, but can it go to 11?
Don’t believe me? Here: http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a97rZxZqE4S8&refer=home
And Ron Paul stays flat…
I’ll be okay. I’m wearing a condom.
I’m afraid I’m going to need some guidance. Are we just supposed to be a little more freaked and stressed out like with the whole terrorist color threat thing, or am I supposed to wear the monkey mask now? Can I quit coming to work? What outfit goes with the monkey mask? Should I stop drinking out of the same water bottle as my pig? What if the water bottle has PVCs? Will that cancel out the swine germs?
51dimes: I started a week ago!
I stocked up on tamiflu last week, it works against this swine flu(according to cdc.gov) and also bird flu, got some for my whole family on friday and it arrived monday. you can get it without prescriptions for now and doubt our hospitals have enough for us all. Got mine at tamiflu.tk, only place i could find without a prescription. GOOD LUCK!!!
As a practical matter, Mustang, get ready for schools to be closed, sporting events cancelled, and large public events cancelled/closed. Its gonna be a bitch for parents, daycare issues. Of course many retards will panic, which will result in shortages of some basic necessities, so I would advise beginning a pre-emptive panic of your own, but not over the flu, its now time for those in the know to start panicking over the panic, as opposed to panicking over the flu, and stocking up first before those idiots stock up. The panic is more panic-worthy than the flu.
I am gonna buy a bunch of gin and red wine, take off my pants, and hunker down.
What has to happen to go to level 5? Actual white people dying?
So, does anyone know at what level transatlantic flights will be stopped? - I’m flying to the UK next week, and would dearly be able to come back to Seattle.
A Better American Than YOU: “I’ll have the Bento Box #2, one Sushi Assorted Platter and Keiji Fukada with extra wasabi, please!”
WHO raised the swine flu alert level, WHO? That’s what I’d like to know!
I read all about it in the Guardia UK!!
Lascauxcaveman: I think you mean “tamiflusabi,” henh?
proudgrampa: I think the color scheme got scrapped as it was deemed no longer necessary. Not because of there was no longer a terrorist threat but because after Bush got reelected, there was no longer a Kerry threat.
Wear a mask and don’t leave the house:
http://imgur.com/27K39.jpg
iwillsavethispatient: They just let my parents back in from Mexico, so everything’s fine.
Ken, get your terminology straight; Level 6 is a “SuperFreakout!!!”
One of the problems is that so many here at this board don’t remember the Seventies, and how SuperFreakouts used to spread over this country, infecting everyone from Indians to Cops to Navy guys. It took many years of research to find out that the only way to contain a SuperFreakout was with massive amounts of cocaine. This lead the CIA to develop non-cocaine treatable diseases like AIDS and Crack.
unravelled: .tk is the Internet country code top-level domain (ccTLD) for Tokelau, a territory of New Zealand located in the South Pacific.
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.tk. It is manufactured on the beaches of Tokelau by poi-pounders from natural ingredients found in putrified gekko excretion.
My g/f pulled a string of snot out of her nose this morning that resembled that thing that burst out of the chest of that android in Alien.
Could be swine flu, but I doubt it because she hasn’t left the house in two weeks, so I’m still going to have sex with her tonight. Dance with the Devil and all that.
I also just told her that the Egyptians have been wanting to kill all their pigs for decades, but didn’t have an excuse good enough to keep those PeTa people from picketing nekkid outside their embassy. Now they do, and they’re in pig heaven. Ha ha, I made a funny.
what of those who keep kosher… i worry for them..
So when does the price of bacon drop?
You might find it amusing that there is a Swine Flu Cake Naming Contest somewhere out there. The winner gets an exotic chocolate, bacon-accented pig: http://apocalypsecakes.wordpress.com/2009/04/27/name-the-swine-flu-cake-win-this-chocolate-pig/
Someone call Nate Silver.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Dude, I was THERE. You nailed it.
@SayItWithWookies: Win.