Wonkette
WTF? Oh look it’s Choire Sicha & Ken Layne’s hit new teevee show, Gossip Girl, at THE AWL.
Your editor’s former co-editor (at SPLOID) and former guest editor/columnist (at Wonkette) and former two-time-Tony-winning Super Editor (at Gawker) is now half of the Editorial Leadership at important new Manhattan zeitgeist-y online Internet journal of kulture & idears, THE AWL. So we were “awl,” Hmm, let’s make up some kind of amusing weekly feature and Balk had some big ideas and Pareene already got the sweet puzzle gig and Emily Gould got the etiquette column (UNFAIR) and Tom Scocca somehow swiped the the parenting column, so, hmm, home-made sex video?
And here, approximately five days after the heroic iChat Video Chat and god knows how many awful computer crashes at THE AWL headquarters, is the first “web-episode” of “Heads a-bloggin,” or whatever Choire ends up calling it. PARTICIPATE IN THE FUN, by a) the usual making of comments, both here and at THE AWL, and 2) Suggest a topic for this week’s upcoming show! (We have already learned so much! Like, a robust orange T-shirt somehow looks creepy-flesh colored on crappy Web video.)
Ken, are those Transitions Lenses????????
Also, that’s a pink shirt? I thought you were lettin’ it all hang out for our viewing pleasure.
And I should watch this video… why? The world is bleak enough without watching two pasty-faced bloggers have a “conversation” from their respective dungeons.
That coffee mug, excuse me, TEABAG mug, proves that Ken Layne is a 60-year-old spinster lady.
I have never heard of this Choire boy until now.
Flesh-colored clothing FTW!
I am disappointed by the lack of TruckNutz ™ product placement as well.
I’d always imagined Ken’s posts in the voice of Barry White. Now all of my fantasies are shattered.
Dan Haggarty blogs. Shit.
I don’t know how long the video goes on…do they get it on at the end or what?
NoWireHangers: Rose Colored Glasses, perhaps.
Custerwolf: There’s a tasteful striptease, but that’s about it.
Cicada: I was thinking more along the lines of Ian McKellen.
By the way, this would be a good time to remind you that I don’t sound anything like the voice in your head.
Why is Ken partly off camera? And “Choire” so poorly lit?
I did like the pussy part, though.
I fapped.
I was wondering why I never see Ken on FNC….
GAY.
Giving a whole new meaning to “Q rating”
Wake me, when something blows up.
You guys are funny, but please, don’t ask me to actually LOOK at you.
Well, I watched the whole damned 37 minutes and 59 seconds and was about to complain but Ken made it all worth it when, at 34 minutes & 40 seconds, he bragged that he had the best commentors there were.
And as for the future topics I’d like to see:
1. Bums eating cat shit
2. Ken’s kids walking in horse shit
3. Pictures of empty houses
4. MORE LIZ GLOVER!!!
So, the Awl is like Wonkette for NYC? Awesome.
Stone IPA.
Well done, sir.
Bill_TX: Fap jinx!
Ah yes, incest is best. Keep up the good work, ye good folk of the Harvard Lampoon! Er, Mad Magazine on-line. Er, whatever.
There’s that wonderful mid-’80s southern California ceiling lighting! Setting the pink-hued Layne ablaze in fluorescent wonder.
Topic suggestion: Why do you blogging elites insist on making your “web show” so damn long?
BTW: You gentlemen were delightful as always.
Comedy iz hard.
So, who is Rob Wright and who is Mickey Kaus?
Thirty-seven minutes! What is this, Meet The Press? Can you post some sort of two-minute edited version for those of us with supremely short attention spans?
imissopus: Yeah, I barely made it to the end of this comment.
chascates: No he didn’t. He was saying that the Awl has some of the best commenters. Fucker.
NoWireHangers: You win my afternoon.
wheelie: In that case I formally submit my complaint about losing 37:59 of my life.
Booooooooooooooring! And Ken, learn how to grow a real beard! We should have a beard-off, you and I.
In one of your shows, which I think you should call ‘Wonkett Awl to Hell!’, you should speak to one another with puppets.
That was a great first effort, guys — I was about to turn it off and then Ken put on the Boba Fett helmet and I said, “ooh, shiny!”
ihasasad: maybe they could converse with their various cat paraphernalia.
hoosiermama: Yeah, like the cat stool softener could say “Hey Ken!” and the cat cup could say “You talkin to me?”
The possibilities are endless.
We need to promote the adage ‘4 is the new 20′
OMG 420!
Dude!
BLUE SCREEN!
Y’all need to put up a blue screen behind the both of yous for every one of these you do to give those who don’t care what you say -unless every other sentence has teh words buttsecks, trucknutz and free beer- a challenge for their ‘4 is the new 20′ y.o. brainz.
Aw, Jeebus. Needs an editor. Bad.
The Unfairman: We should have a beard-off, you and I.
Oooh Ooh! Deal me in too. I gotta warn you, however, I’ve got an unfair disadvantage, as I am currently sporting a righteous Jesus-mullet which adds greatly to the general appearance of hairiness.
ihasasad: Heh. Somewhere on VHS I’ve got a home-movie talkshow done by me and my buddy Andy, entirely peopled by 12″ album covers. Bill Cosby is the host; he interviews Elvis Costello, Elvis Presley, Richard Nixon (yes, I have a Richard Nixon LP, why do you ask?), and the musical guests are the Sugar Cubes.
Lascauxcaveman: Yeah! See?!
They could print out pics of other bloggers and news personalities and paste them to their Star Warz and Meow Mix LPs and maybe add a popsicle stick for good measure…
What the fuck is going on with my Wonkette? Jim and SKS get some kind of brain fever and head out over the parched steppes of Virginia in Segways, and now Ken Layne gets on the vid to reveal his TRUE PLANZ for the future of humanity from deep inside his cheerfully lit death cult bunker in the Mojave?
BRING BACK REALITY!!!11
I actually watched this all the way through. It was pretty darn good. Not the Algonquin roundtable, but I’d watch again. Add guests.
Also, NEED MOAR CATS
This is like that performance art/pr0n website where you pay to see single camera set ups focused on the face of a male or female in the act of masturbating until such time as their face contorts in the throes of exctasy. Only in this case the only throe-ing was me. In my mouth a little.
Very Warhol/Paul Morrisey, only I can’t figure out if Ken is more like the Empire State Building or My Hustler. It should be noted that unlike the Factory films, this webisode was split screen. INNOVATIVE!
I didn’t know Ken Layne played mandolin for Jethro Tull during the “A” tour in 79.
Awl: urban, loft, grunge, can’t bother to shave
Wonkette: rural, castle, American Apparel, can’t bother to shave
You know what I’d really like? A blogging heads thing featuring Sara K. Smith
That could melt Wonkette’s servers.
Needs boobs. Also.
Zomg, I joined Wonkette for this ?!?!
I love this blog, but keep your fucking day job, Ken. Your teevee presence is about as engaging as Wolf Blitzer’s, actually much less so - just bein’ honest. Don’t ever do this ever again, PLEEZE! You suck on the tube! It’s drunkenly self-indulgent and pathetic, like a random Youtube video of people who think they’re famous interviewing each other in a random, self-indulgent and pathetic way. Just keep writing the funny stuff about politics and shit. You have a way with words, but certainly not on camera. Sweet Jesus, please!
Yeah, I’m new and have no right to call you Ken. But I’ve had many relatives who blew their accumulated schtick due to pickled hubris, like thinking that they’re funny in one medium makes them funny in all media. Don’t do it! And ignore the sycophants, they only want buttsecks or other assorted favors they think they can get from a semi-famous blog-buffalo. Please!
Love from the Mexifinn!
Why aren’t they fucking? I don’t get it…
I’d hit it…
Lascauxcaveman: The Unfairman: A Beard-off?! I’M IN!! I’m a Bearbloke who hasn’t shaved since 1986 - tho’ I was sportin’ a sweet Malcolm X goatee around the time that movie came out…
Bearbloke: On second thought, I can do better…
Mexifinn: Ya you’re fucking new, and you fucking call him Pope Cat, dammit. Who the fuck do you think you are, you little shit?
@Pope Cat:
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU RAGGING ON THE PEOPLE OF THE EASTERN SIERRA FOR.
Granted, the people of the South (San BernadiMeth County) suck, but if you wanted to get the hell away from people, why not move farther north? Fuck Lancaster. Lancaster can die. But really? You’re only an hour away from Lancaster? WHAT THE HELL?
Bishop is loaded with traditional redneck crazies, but also many “hard working” acceptable crazies, who are actually very acceptable if you can withhold a “local” conversation with people who profess Jesus left and right, forever.
In fact, Pope Cat, there are also many climbers in the Bishop area. All of these “climber people” are very, very liberal, have half a brain (unlike myself, apparently), and tend to get the hell out of the valley. And that is why when you refer to the people in that valley I say BOO for that. BOO.
BUT you have a very nice house up there, because you made it happen. You have achieved awesometown. So there.
You don’t live in the high desert, you live in the technically “high desert,” which is more or less a place where people in San Bernadino go when they can no longer afford the shit-insanity of their previously ridiculous, but someone intangibly tangible lives. YOU HAVE A GOOD LIFE, mind you. Unless you don’t, but I don’t know that, and it’s more a matter of location that begs me to say something to the contrary.
As a person who has seen you muse in internet-reality land three times, even before you moved from LA, don’t trash the people of the high-desert, unless you aren’t referring to the Owens Valley, which may not be perfect, but by golly is a helluva lot better than Mohave— especially when you’re talking to a VERY NICE AND FRIENDLY MAN from New York, named Choire, who rightfully cannot admit his mother lived in Lancaster (kinda). Maybe the definition of High Desert will never be solved, but please Pope Cat, leave us monstrosity-like people alone. It isn’t a place full of meth heads, yet.
BACK TO DRINK NO. 4. RANTING IS FUN or something.
how high were they when they filmed this?
shortsshortsshorts: Dude!
Love the trivet on the wall Mr. Layne
egggsellent
Who is popecat, and why is Shorts yelling at him?
boatapple: Our Glorious Blog General Ken Layne is ‘Pope Cat’ and Shorts, a fellow Californian, is enjoying his nightly nightcap. Or six.
chascates: It’s really better that way, isn’t it? Drunken spew here, rather than actual assaults and murders out there.
shortsshortsshorts: You just go ahead an’ vent, Shortsy.
Don’t listen to that asshole, Ken. I was humping my laptap screen the entire 20-25 seconds I could stand watching that thing.
chascates: Grammar is not working out since when in 2001, people made a fortune in blogging.
Isn’t it weird how we all know Ken’s real name - yet he doesn’t know any of ours’?
Or does he…..?
Drinking in the AM. Excellent. That is the way Wonkette swings.
Custerwolf: We ALL know your real name, Brian - now finish your drink…
Have you picked any stunt men yet?
shortsshortsshorts: [i]Ya you’re fucking new, and you fucking call him Pope Cat, dammit.[/i]
Aye aye, Capt. Fancy Pants! Sir, I like your blog too, sir.
[i]Who the fuck do you think you are, you little shit?[/i]
Just a concerned citizen speaking out against vloggation without representation.
Also, thanks for the warm welcome.
Mexifinn: Ha it’s all in good spirits. I just like calling Ken Pope cat, that was the point of the rant.