About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Dorje Chenmo

    Turn my head and cough? Sure, Dr. Gupta.

  • WadISay

    If this was a movie, it would be Babe meets The Andromeda Strain.

  • Joshua Norton

    Pig-Bird Flu? Sounds like something Tippi Hedren got from Alfred Hitchcock.

    Also.

  • WABishop

    I think he peaked with “Sixth Sense”.

  • Gallowglass

    Help us Dr. Sanjay Gupta, you’re our only hope.

  • Mr Mxyzptlk

    It will take a Mexican like Dr Gupta to fight this Mexican flu. He’ll know what to do.

  • smashtheduck

    I hear it’s spread by lipstick.

  • villageatrois

    If this influenza was engineered at Fort Detrick, Gupta will be glad to only be reporting on it. And he’d best do that very carefully; viz., not reporting anything he finds out.

  • rambone

    I stopped taking advice from Gupta after that time he got “lost” for 2 hours driving me home in his cab from the airport.

  • chascates

    WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE PIGLETS?

  • Bruno

    Why does Dr. Sanjay hate volcano monitoring and other forms of stimulus?

  • Bruno

    Knowing the AOL commenters, and given there is a doctor in the house, I am expecting to see lots of uploads of obscure rashes, 6th fingers and tick bites requiring free advice.

  • jasper-f-krone

    perhaps Sanjay could explain to Kyra Phillips what “swine flu” is. The BathRoomPrompTer told her to say that she didn’t know.

  • nyhfrog

    Well…

    Time to get drunk.

  • Come here a minute

    Nice Zevon alt-text!

    Don’t let us get sick, don’t let us get ill.

  • Scandalabra

    I’m still working on the syllabus for my graduate level offering on “The Subtle Yet Pervasive Use of Beatles Imagery and References in Middle-Period Ken Layne Commentary”. This post should help me garner some faculty cred.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=299831]Mr Mxyzptlk[/re]: Excuse me, but Gupta is NOT Mexican. Sheesh. For your information, he’s not Mexican, he’s Japanese, because only japs are smart enough to know about germs and stuff. God.

  • joeybrill

    His teeth are so sparkly white and his hair is adorable. If he – acting as a truly professional Surgeon General – told me to masturbate, I’d totally do it!

  • Custerwolf

    Here’s my new “Keep Off My Property” sign.

    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/wilbur.jpg

  • sanantonerose

    [re=299817]WadISay[/re]: I’d go see that movie. But only if James Cromwell is in it.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=299938]Custerwolf[/re]: Why do you make your pigs so fat they can’t even get up? That seems a bit cruel, if you ask this (homo pinko commie queer) vegetarian. Or maybe your dog morphed into that pig which means your dog is really the…Chupacabra!!!

  • Custerwolf

    [re=299950]hobospacejunkie[/re]: AGHHH!!! Sshhhh! Don’t say that word in front of Wilbur. He’s very self-conscious about his weight. He’s actually lost quite a bit since that pic was taken. When we got him neutered the vet said he was 10 over. Doesn’t he look a bit trimmer here?

    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/Birdy389.jpg

  • Custerwolf

    [re=299952]Custerwolf[/re]: And the first person who says “I thought pigs were supposed to GAIN weight, will have their eyes gouged out with Wilbur’s one tusk.
    You’ve been warned.

  • hobospacejunkie

    [re=299952]Custerwolf[/re]: Oh yeah, Wilbur almost looks like another pig in that pic. I almost didn’t recognize him he is so fit & trim now.

    Why one tusk? Was that also part of the neutering? Chop off the balls & remove one tusk?

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=299955]Custerwolf[/re]: I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say, “He looks like he’s about to eat the goat.” But — oh, crap.

    Also, forget Sanjay Gupta. I say we get the sorta-funny-looking-but-in-a-hot-way redheaded eye doctor who does the Restasis commercials.

  • Scandinavian Fetus

    Joan Rivers has gone too far this time.

    Is this supposed to be a Public Service Message for Botox?

  • ManchuCandidate

    I hope that Dr Sanjay is better at calming fears than he is with numbers.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=299965]hobospacejunkie[/re]: They actually sawed both his tusks off when he was under anesthesia, and only one grew back.
    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/bliss.jpg

    And here’s a sunday kitty pic for you:
    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/huh.jpg

  • Go Figure

    All those years we made those “when pigs can fly” jokes & references….
    now the Swine flew…. it’s karma I tell you.

  • Custerwolf

    And speaking of neutering…DO NOT look at this first pic if you are at all squeamish. Srsly.

    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/owmyballs.jpg

    Kobuk showing his displeasure afterwards:

    http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/kobukj.jpg

  • MortSinclair

    Hey, I wanna know who that pig’s orthodontist is! Damn, that piggy’s teef look good!

  • Custerwolf

    [re=300069]Custerwolf[/re]: That emasculator my vet is using is affectionally called ‘The Coulter.’

  • Min

    I dunno about swine flu, but that creepy pig picture is making me slightly ill.

  • MGBYG

    “Ann’es Adms Apple10:54PMApr 25th 2009

    THIS IS BUT GODS JUDGMENT ON THE EVILDOERS! THEY THAT MESSETH WITH OTHER SAME SEXS ANALS THINGS ARE DOOMED BY THEIR SINFULLNESS. ”

    All right, fuss up. Who here did this to poor Ken’s AOL crank?

  • AKAM80TheWolf

    [re=299952]Custerwolf[/re]:

    It’s a weapon of mass destruction. Get in the car!

  • kapish

    My own guru, Six-Pack Chakra, says that pigs cannot fly in alcohol.

  • Deepthroat

    Only is Dr. 90210 is unavailable.