Wonkette
Oh Fox News anchor Shepard Smith, this is so dreamy, the way you yell at the man who loves torturing people. You will probably be fired — not for cursing, but for questioning the awesomeness of torture — but hey, you made a great YouTube here today. No small chickens, that. One more question though: Why do you love the terrorists and hate America? [YouTube via Gawker]
Shep Smith, like Meggie McCain, cannot get laid being on the ass side of the political spectrum, so he doth protest saeth Peggy Noonington. I thought Shep might demike and walk off at one point. Come on ovah Shep. You did yourself proud with the Glenn Dick annihalation too. MSNBC has 2 screamers on back to back, Matthews & Ed. Maybe your deep Southern sexy time voice can fit somewhere in between those 2.
Shepard, oh Shepard we’ve waited soooooo long. Come over to the light side already, sweetie.
Nerdalicious: Um, what Nerdalicious said, but with less spittle.
No, no, no.
It’s ISRAEL that does not torture!
It just gently, kindly, softly lobs a 500 lb. into a Hamas Day Care Center.
:::Boom::: (In a quiet, humanitarian, self-defensy kind of way.)
In contrast, the US tortures repeatedly. And tortures the entire World.
I mean, have you watched “The View” recently?
Judas Peckerwood: Yes, please do. We have cookies.
And he’s outed in 3….2….1….
Or more spittle. I’m confused.
Nah, I think he’s spiffing up to be Hannity’s libtard, like “Hannity and Shepard.” No, never mind, it doesn’t have quite the ring. And Shepard would crush him like he did the Fox News desk. Like. a. bug.
Glen Beck is looking for his gas can
Neilist: Meghan McCain is guest-hosting tomorrow, did you know this fact?
Neilist: “I mean, have you watched “The View” recently?”
Am I not the only one who isn’t surprised to read this in one of Neillio’s posts.
Judas Peckerwood:
“Come Over To The Light Children”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o07qRVETglQ&feature=related
Meg McCunt! Should prove to be a lovely start to the weekend when I hear the verbal diarrhea spew from her mouth
Jim Newell: …
karen: See that’s just not a very funny comment. I think we have been lax on the comments. You can’t just shout cunt and diarrhea with no joke, you know?
At least two other (presumably less intoxicated) Americans have expressed a similar sentiment:
“Treat them with humanity, and let them have no reason to Complain of our Copying the brutal example of the British Army in their treatment of our unfortunate brethren who have fallen into their hands.”
— George Washington, January 8, 1777
“Military necessity does not admit of cruelty — that is, the infliction of suffering for the sake of suffering or for revenge, nor of maiming or wounding except in fight, nor of torture to extort confessions.”
— Abraham Lincoln, April 24, 1863
Brendan M.: Sorry about that, but the mere idea of such a thing rendered me speechless.
As far as the video, I have no snarky comments, just approval of Shep. It reminds me of when I’d show up to AP Government class after having a few drinks during lunch. We’d argue over Bush’s policies, usually Iraq, and I’d say what I really thought. I acquired many a demerit in this fashion.
I guess the point of the story is that I would occasionally indulge in a 40oz or bottle of wine lunch in high school, and that Shepard Smith clearly had a few drinks, as well.
Why is Shepard Smith so fucking angry? It’s probably because he wasn’t fucking tortured enough as a child or something. Look at me — when I did something wrong, my daddy used to make me go out to the junkyard and find a flat piece of wood and then get a roll of duct tape and then he’d waterboard me six or seven times. And that’s how I learned right from wrong. Now let’s get in the truck and shoot us some hippies.
It’s a bit fucking confusing…
I mean coming from Fox one would expect that “we do not torture” means waterboarding is not actually torture, so therefore it’s not actually torture, but “enhanced interrogation.”
As Shep Smith has absolutely no morals other than to serve as the alleged “counter-balance” of Fox News once every 15 weeks, it makes sense that today would be a perfect day to cold crazy on this torture thing.
Shep Smith— America’s pundit hero to pundits. And the anchor too! YAY!
Jim Newell: DID YOU KNOW MY NAME IS NOT SHORT SHORT SHORT? Also. But thank you for that very nice post you did there. Also. And also.
So effective torture is OK?
I’m pretty sure this was on a web stream, not on the LIVE! television, as they call it.
Shorter Fox News Anchor (is that Douchey?): Yes, lighting puppies on fire is bad, but there’s two schools of thoughts about it
Shorter Shep Smith: Jesus Fucking Christ, I can’t believe I have to work with these people.
If I wasn’t already gay married, I would totally gay marry Shepard Smith, even though we’re both bottoms.
SayItWithWookies:
Everything now is new & improved, yuck!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1_NhnXMCKw&feature=related
Unfortunately for Mr. Smith, there’s a visit to the teabagging torture chamber housed in the “Hannity’s America” studio basement.
Michelle Bachmann will yell wingnut talking points at Shep while giving him the batshit crazy eyes.
At the same time, Glenn Beck will drop his shaven balls in Shep’s mouth over and over again until tears run down both their cheeks.
oompa loompas and crying bunny furries will also be involved.
It’s nice to imagine he’s undergoing some kind of late maturation process, but I think all signs point to Shep being drunk off his ass.
Jim Newell: Thunder-Thighs Meghan Herself?
Oh, boy!
We watch it in the barbershop where I get what is left of my hair cut.
The owner loves it.
But he’s an ex pro who fought Jose Napoli for the title. I don’t think he’s quite right in the head.
(You know, the same problem Custerwolf has after being beaten so many times with that Ugly Stick?)
:::Zing!:::
But then, one must remember the old saying: Beauty may be skin deep. But ugly goes clear down to the bone.
Jim Newell: Well of course, those resumés don’t write themselves.
Neilist: I am beginning to have SUCH a crush on you.
Jim Newell: We can’t?
Jim Newell: You mean like this?
When did newt go to jail? oh, he has a newsletter. dammit
Um… Shep? Yeah, yeah we do. Or rather we did. But from now ON we won’t. Semantics. (Unless you’re the people being tortured).
Is this is like the point where Anakin knew he shouldn’t chop off Samuel L. Jackson’s hand, but did it anyway?
Neilist: I still think you’re a dog turd, and your zingers lack zing (leave Custerwolf ALONE), but we apparently agree on Israel. Have a nice day, asshole.
gurukalehuru: Well that is a very important thing you bring up there. You should elaborate, for the fun of it.
gurukalehuru: So that was YOU I felt behind me. Thanks.
Tourette’s syndrome
“In Tourette Syndrome they are often not even angry or agitated at anything when he/she swears and the swearing often emerges totally out of context”
Nerdalicious: That is FUCKED UP.
Custerwolf:
Nerd here, meh, scrape ‘em off.
Custerwolf:
What? Jeez I can’t believe I’m up this late! Thanks Wonkettes!
Roger Ailes is going to keep him alive long enough to subject him to some Baron Harkonnen-style tortures before the sweet release of death.
And all of a sudden he’s relatively sane, with everything to lose and nothing to gain.
Or something like that.
Nerdalicious: That’s my gal.
Custerwolf:
So, is Shep a drunk or what? I agree with Mr. Bill. The whole damn station is slippin’ into the drink after the election. I think they are drinkin’ more than tea.
Wow… I knew Shep had been having sporadic outbursts of dissent over there lately… but man,
Just defect already, man! Your conscience can’t bear it much longer!
Custerwolf:
You are being protected by an 18 count Felon, who can’t even get on a damn idjet reality show to pay off my damn lawyers. (Sorry for my Tourettes)
Nerdalicious: I can’t honestly tell through my blurry computer screen if he’s being genuine or just doing it for effect.
Custerwolf:
The dissenter, like Lou Dobbs. Those wads always have an angle. I hope he moves over to MSNBC between the 2 screamers Matthews & Ed.
Nerdalicious: Yep.
The over/under for when he has to publicly apologize to Boss Limbaugh is 3 days.
Shep Smith is my hero. I loved his open mockery of Glen Beck’s melodramatic weeping and I love him even more now that he took a firm stand against these mealy-mouthed shitheads. He screamed at them in person what I’ve been screaming at the teevee for eight years. I think his job is pretty secure too, if wikipedia is anything to go by.
PulledPorkBarrel:
“Ah, but the strawberries, that’s where I had them”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zgeQmzV9kk
Hawaiiexpat: BJ tomorrow am on Limbast’s whackfest. You know how You’re F****d News luvs bowing. (And handshaking)
Custerwolf:
Night my friend.
Nerdalicious: Nite.
I think the real prize of the video, if you turn the sound up, is Shep’s quiet “oops” about 7 sec after he lets that f-bomb drop and the “I’m in such deep shit” face he wears for the rest of the clip.
Jim Newell: I’m forcibly reminded of the 30 Rock. “For once, you’ll be in a room full of women and you’ll be the least crazy one,” The thought is almost enough for me to subject myself to The View. Almost.
tiny mexican: DING DING DING, finally! You have won the secret bonus prize! TBD.
kthxbai…also: haha..exactly.
I’m afraid one day Glenn Beck will go Bud Dwyer just to prove one of his 9.12 steps.
I think Shep’s had a hard go. His vision of who and what America is has come undone, as America has done immoral things (he does not want to accept torture was committed, and people who try to justify torture put the lie to his beliefs), and people aren’t able to just stand on their own. The moment shit gets tough Americans mewl for the government.
It appears there are no cowboys left for Shep to dream dreamy dreams about.
My God. That defeated slump. That bitter sulk.
“It doesn’t matter if it works.” That’s not the point at all! Nerve gas works! MADNESS, MADNESS all around me! They’re babbling scripted nonsense like they’re being paid to vomit up these lies. Wait a minute…
Heq: It’s been brewing for awhile now. He showed remarkable humanity during the Katrina fiasco. He wasn’t the only Fox personality to let the mask slip, but it’s him I remember most. He was ashamed of what he was seeing all around him. Damn the consequences, he didn’t care who knew it.
secretagentgirl: That’s exactly the point. “I want off that train!” Ummm, go back a few years and get off then!!! It’s already happened!
hoosiermama: True, the more spittle that flies, the harder they’re trying to prop a new liberal figurehead. Or Shep just had a few too many Makers at lunch.
I love you Shep! He keeps comin’ out with something amusing, going against the FOX grain, about once a month. He deserves a medal or something. Or a job at MSNBC.
Hooray For Anything: Just as there are two schools of thought on the whole flat earth theory, evolution, and Milli Vanilli.
Dayum, dem homersexuals sure is emotional-like. Also.
I used to think Shep Smith was just a meat puppet. Could he have been transformed by the Blue Fairy into a real, live boy?
When you watch the earlier Shep tape you can see at this point he’s just pissed off. Already yelled that this is America and we do not torture (credit Washington, Lincoln, other luminaries) and to have to put up with the equivocating bullshit again…
He shows restraint in not pimp-slapping these pricks like a wayward chavez.
give ME a fucking break. he proudly fronts a channel that advocates, supports and covers up for a regime that tortured, lied, started fake wars, murdered and cheated.
i don’t give a shit that he “goes off the reservation” one out of a thousand times. if he doesn’t like it, he knows exactly where the door is.
nah .. didn’t think so. as long as he puts his nazi fox costume on every morning, he’s a guilty as the rest of them. see: powell, colin.
until you have the balls to quit on principle, stfu.
Seeing as I only watch Fox clips through Wonkette, is this Shep character a decent guy? This is the second time he’s seemed pretty cool by my standards.
Shep Smith is the “balanced” part of “fair and balanced.” They put a brick in his pants and shove him out on set.
I wanted to announce it here first. Shep Smith and I are getting gay-married today. I am smitten!
Custerwolf: A “crush” on me?
Gosh.
I realize your thighs are enormous.
Perhaps even “Meghan McCain” size.
But the image is disturbing, nonetheless.
Mr. Smith has Ballzheimers Disease not.
The question after all these years is why wasn’t there someone, anyone in the MSM willing to make a similar series of clear, passionate, objective declarations earlier. Why? Because they’ve been chasing the ambulance. It takes jesters like Stewart, Colbert, Black to use irony to say it. Smith isn’t coming over to the other side, he’s just evincing a position: it’s America, we don’t torture, period. Additionally.
DAMMIT IT IS HARD TO HATE THIS ‘SHEP’ MAN.
But I agree he’s going to get really fired, soon.
Didn’t he do a similar thing when Joe the fake plumber said Obama wanted to bomb isreal?
Shep Smith is a muzlin.
Wait a minute…I didn’t get the memo…when did Shepherd Smith become a leftie? I always thought he was a right-wing tool…I’m so confused.
ahhahaha. meghan mccain fat jokes.
Well I’m a little turned on
Neilist: No Nells, you see a “crush” actually has nothing to do with thighs (well, maybe a few heavy thighs if you’re successful). It’s when a girl or boy has warm fuzzy feelings for another. I do hope you experience the phenomenon of a crush one day. However, I feel I must tell you that at least from what you write here, you are going about it all wrong. You see, Nells - the idea is NOT to turn people off. Work on it a little, you’re a bright boy. I’m sure you’ll get it eventually.
Neilist: Said it before, and I’ll say it again: You are the sort of person that makes me feel physically ill whenever you opine a political theory that I actually agree with.
Don’t you think these little set tos on FOX are set ups like with wrestling? They get together before and they agree in advance, “Okay, you get all insane and irrational and I’ll stay calm because I’m the good guy.”
Neilist: This is almost smart. Sometimes you’re a douche, sometimes you make smart comments. You confuse me. Congratualtions.
Neilist/PUMAS 2012!!! Also.
How badly does Shepard Smith want to get fired by Fox so he can be MSNBC’s new rock star. And how nice it would be to see him replace that Schultz douchebag at 6PM.
WideStance: wow. wisdom on wonkette.
I never thought I’d be vaguely turned on by a Fox News anchor, but, well, here we are. Shep looked like he was about to start cold cockin’ motherfuckers.
I have news for you Faux Hounds. The entire Fox News thing is a giant come on to stoke viewers into a frenzy in order to respond to advertising. It DOES NOT MATTER what they say. None of them believe it. They know that the secret to viewership is well-articulated nonsense, hyperventilation and Anne Coulter in a dress spewing hatred. Americans love it. It’s entertainment. It’s money. It’s teabags.
Shep is a true believer, the left has them too. It’s always a little sad when someones carefully constructed reality crumbles around them…unless we’re talking about Pumas and then it’s just funny.
Jim Newell: Well like a cunt with diarrhea is so depressing. So close and yet so unappealing anyway.
Needing a shower after sex shouldn’t be due to anal leakage and all.
Gallowglass: Just don’t take his parking spot.
Mad Farmer Manifest: I honestly think Neilist is on the right track, it’s just that he oftentimes has a tendency to make you wish a train would come along.
Neilist: We saw that ‘day care’ in Falluja-with white phosphorus and cluster bombs….then raised the stakes with Abu Ghraib.
America wins the Human Rights violation reality show!
(is it cheating if we give Israel all our illegal weapons?)
Even the loose cannon at Fox News is picked in advance.
Mr Blifil: Absolutely agree. The only thing missing was the “urp” of a burp.
Amazing that somebody drunk off his ass makes more moral sense than these other sober fuckwads.
zenferret: A cunt with diarrhea? Somebody needs a GYN visit, STAT.