Wonkette
THE GLOBAL INTERNATIONALIST: “We all share this warm, level, heavily peopled planet, although of course we do not actually share it.” [True/Slant]
OUR WORLDLY PROBLEMS
Tagged:
Thomas Friedman?
Thomas Friedman??
I fucked a pair tree, once. My first 3-way.
Thomas Friedman??? Also.
Thomas Friedman????
THOMAS FRIEDM
DAMN YOU FOREIGNERS FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOUR OWN CONSUMERIST IGNORANCE says he, after having exited a gas-powered aeroplane.
Friedman is against Blingees. The require power that he could use lighting up his giant house.
What is this, your fifth column (four-and-a-halfth really) in savant-Friedman-speak? Time for a new schtick, my friend.
When I was in college, I briefly shared an apartment with a Pakistani cab driver. A Sikh. You haven’t seen hair in the shower until you’ve done that. There was not enough toxic Mr. Plumber in the world to keep the shower drain from clogging.
Jukesgrrl: Or his giant ego.
HEY GUYS THIS IS JI
JIM THOME
I MEAN THOMAS FRIEDMAN
Ken Layne???
I’m still trying to figure out this tectonic plate business. If we can send a man to the
moon, we should be able to build something to move the tectonic plates with all the oil
back under the USA where it belongs.
These things started off a bit more subtle, and they’re quickly getting totally ridiculous, because other than you people, people who read news on the Internet ARE UNAWARE of parody.
So I will be bored of this shortly — it’s not nearly as fun as the Richard Cohen column.
I ASK YOU PEOPLE FOR IDEAS NOW: What the fuck should I do over at this True/Slant thing? What would you like to see over there? What kind of blog thing? Take a look at it, there are people such as Matt Taibbi writing 40,000 blog posts, which just seems insane, and David Rees is doing god knows what. And the other people, they are doing various types of blogs I guess, not quite the Wonkette surreal comedy hour, ugh, what to do? I haven’t “blogged,” like a blogger, for six or seven years. Goddammit.
/40,000-word blog posts, I mean.
I’m afeared I don’t actually know much about this Friedman fellow of which you all speak, but I wiki’d his name and I’m kinda curious why they posted a picture of Cliff the mailman on his page. At any rate, I found him a whole lot more attractive once I spotted his net worth.
Hire Meghan McCain as your ghost writer. She has quite the resume, you know.
Ken Layne: How about an occasional ‘best of’ listing of Michele Bachmannisms, Noonnanisms, etc.? Or a collection of YouTube videos of Rumsfeldian logic.
chascates: Wonkette is really all the politics I can handle, which I “handle” by ignoring completely, unless there’s comedic potential in it.
Ken Layne: How about a Peggy Noonan column? Or you could just take on the entire WSJ editorial page, which is a non-stop source of wingnutty goodness. A Maureen Dowd might work, but I don’t think anyone read Maureen Dowd anymore.
Some bloggers that are ripe for parody include Nate Silver, the Reason gang, Megan McArdle, and Glenn Greenwald.
Ken Layne: Actually, how about reprinting News from the New York Times starting with 1932? The news should be pretty close to what’s going on now.
Ken Layne:
A-
fucking-
men.
Or, blog about your job as a ‘humanizer’ for financial services execs & their spouses. A humanizer takes these people by the hand and introduces (or reintroduces) them to the ‘human’ world where actions have consequences often unpleasant ones.
Action doesn’t automatically translate into huge fortunes. You could take their spoiled little brat into an actual public school (for only a short while of course).
Or try a role reversal. They would have to drive their chauffeur around for a day.
Ken Layne: Do you simply not care for this True/Slant?
Ken Layne: Grim as it seems, maintaining a death watch on The Fourth Estate will probably help you lose friends, and influence no one. I say, go for it.
Ken Layne:
First, thanks for referring to us as “you people” -
Why don’t you pawn this TrueSlant thingee over to an uppity intern or Sara. And if they don’t follow your instructions, call Human Resources.
Ken Layne: The Global Internationalist needs to take an offensively international perspective on every country. Write country profiles, please, and be as rude as possible. It may not win you friends straight away, but the sooner we all realize that political systems everywhere are a crock of shit, and all nationalities are jerks, the better.
Ken, I think you too ought to resort to submitting 40,000-word posts, only they should all be the same word.
Ken Layne: Ken, I really like what Taibbi does there, taking a piece of some news story or comment & using that as a starting point to bloviate (in a good way) on the finer points of some issue or other. It also helps that he currently has one (large) issue on which he’s focused, elaborating on his huge piece about Wall Street, though he doesn’t write exclusively about that.
Seems like True/Slant should be an opportunity for you to flex different muscles. Sorry to sound like a journo teacher, but, you know, what other stuff turns you on? I’m obsessed with Italian & German soccer. I could blog about that but a million other people already do, and I don’t have the platform you have.
Do you have a secret collection of antique women’s underwear? Are all the books you read on the history of castrati? Do you constantly daydream about the intersection of technology and traditional French cheese production?
Those are probably too narrowly themed, but you see where I’m going. I realize the point is to get more people to read & comment. However, there’s also nothing wrong with what you’re doing already, just do more of it. Fuck ‘em if people don’t get it. But if you want to do something different, show us what else is going on under that beard and fine head of hair.
wheelie: Also, what wheelie said. Also.
hobospacejunkie: I second what wheelie said and, if I might add, I am pleased as punch to know that, when I read Mr. Layne’s pieces here, I am reading “global affairs for Wonkette.com, a policy website in Washington DC.” That sounds really cool.
Thanks for the good ideas, buddies!
How about a sort of broader John Kelly of the WaPo column? His is one of the last remianing good things about the Post. His point is that he is local, but you could extrapolate and find interesting characters or situations all over the place. (so you could be a John McPhee) His appeal is that he genuinely loves to know stuff and seems just to enjoy rolling around the area and discovering things about it and the people in it. He also has a sense of humor and takes himself very unseriously. He spent a year at Oxford last year, and his blog from there was great, too. He is in Texas this week, blogging from there.
Here’s his blog: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/commons/
Here are some columns:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2008/08/22/LI2008082201233.html
Doglessliberal: I LOVE John McPhee.
Custerwolf: and the beauty of that concept is that he doesn’t need a concept. Just whatever arises on the road, or in the neighborhood. Just people and life.
Ken Layne: undergarments: a survey?
Doglessliberal: beautiful.