RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  4:41 pm April 22, 2009

Oh Just FYI: Your American Recession Dollars Are Going Towards Enabling Obama’s Fascist Agricultural Hobbies

by Juli Weiner

  • Obama is still draining all the stimulus recession dollars on his personal communist pet project: re-sodding the National Mall in such a way that one million red roses spring up in shape of Stalin’s silhouette. Terrible, just terrible. [RedState]
  • Hillary Clinton isn’t sure whether she’d like America to have the opportunity to read the sequel to Dick Cheney’s torture fan fiction—Waterboarding Towards Bethlehem: A Nationbuildingsroman—and said some awkward thing about Cheney being weird, just to avoid the question! [Daily Intel]
  • Nate Silver sees four (or, “4″) futures for the Republican Party. He thinks a drift towards libertarianism is the best way to go, so that should tell you something about the other three options. [FiveThirtyEight]
  • Obama is making good on his pinkie swear to no one that he is so all about Service. [The Caucus]
  • NRSC Chairman Jon Cornyn has given up on pretending that the Dems aren’t going to secure 60 Senate seats. So, do with that what you will Norm Coleman—you will anyway. [Matt Yglesias]
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


Lascauxcaveman April 22, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Its uncanny, there’s yet another thing I have in common with the Preznit; we both spent too much on our gardening projects.

I just dumped $120 on five fruit trees that are going to yield me $10 worth of fruit in the next 5 years (if I’m lucky). But that girl at the tree nursery has such nice smile…

Hooray For Anything April 22, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Hills also put the smack down on Rep. Mike Pence (R-Jackass) over that stupid faux controversy involving Obama’s handshake with Chavez.

It’s good to be able to like Hillary again.

Scandinavian Fetus April 22, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Waterboarding Towards Bethlehem: A Nationbuildingsroman

Brilliant! No comment necessary.

Serolf Divad April 22, 2009 at 4:51 pm

The other three ideas:

(1) Become Rush Limbaugh’s gay harem.
(2) Government in exile (location TBA, but Brazil and Chile are high on the list.)
(3) Whitesnake cover band.

Will work for shoes April 22, 2009 at 4:54 pm

[re=296724]Hooray For Anything[/re]: She was just brilliant all around. She had a great answer about “taxpayer-funded abortions as part of US foreign policy,” too. Her answer was something along the lines of “Your five daughters have the choice; I’d like women around the world to have the same choice.” I think that stung a bit.

imarmcandy April 22, 2009 at 4:58 pm

And, whoops, the gentleman’s time is up. Nicely played Madame Secretary, nicely played.

Mr Blifil April 22, 2009 at 5:00 pm

FWIW I was in the room with the First Lady yesterday evening (it was a very VERY large room) and her arms do indeed rock, though my glimpse of them was rather fleeting. Of the 1000 or so people in attendance, only 4 had clearance to get within arm’s length of her, so keep that in mind, those of you planning to corner her someday and impress her with your wry wit and savoir faire.

BTW the crowd really, really, REALLY REALLY REALLY liked her. It sounded like a hockey game when she was announced.

Swampwitch April 22, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=296724]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Hillz was great there.

I’m looking forward to the time when our foreign policy decisions aren’t judged by the metric of what makes dumbasses feel like they have the biggest dick on the planet.

qwerty42 April 22, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=296724]Hooray For Anything[/re]: kinda kicked him in the butt, didn’t she.

proudgrampa April 22, 2009 at 5:04 pm

[re=296723]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah. That resonates. I can buy a LOT of fruits and vegetables at my local farmer’s market for the price of one my stupid fruit trees!

chascates April 22, 2009 at 5:06 pm

I think at one time during FDR’s tenure the senate held only 16 Republicans.
Those were the days!

SayItWithWookies April 22, 2009 at 5:15 pm

If 80% of Republicans think the biggest threat to the country is big government, my suggestion is that they learn something about the last thirty years. Hell, if they learn anything besides historical revisionism, that would be a plus.

And I couldn’t think of a better man than Dick Cheney for Hillary to kick in the balls. You know if it wasn’t for torture, America would just be a giant, smoldering hole in the ground, run by Lizard People who hunt humans for sport.

Jukesgrrl April 22, 2009 at 5:21 pm

[re=296723]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: and [re=296751]proudgrampa[/re]: If I were waiting for my orange tree to feed me, I’d have died during the Clinton administration. I planted that sucker years ago, and I have yet to see a flower, let alone an orange. Maybe it’s because I’m Irish? Let’s hear it for the supermarket.

Come here a minute April 22, 2009 at 5:21 pm

Hello, fellow C-SPAN nerds! “President Obama won the election.” Hill yeah!

gurukalehuru April 22, 2009 at 5:23 pm

Actually, I think it will be 1 and 4 teaming up against 2 and 3 in the Nate Silver neo-reptilian sweepstakes. The Jesus People vs. the Gazillionaires, and the Paultards will side with the gazillionaires because, of course, they are all deluded losers but, in addition, those Jesus People are fucking nuts.

Lascauxcaveman April 22, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=296780]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Not sure if it works the same as apples and pears, but don’t orange trees need to cross-pollinate with other orange tree varieties to be fruitful?

SayItWithWookies April 22, 2009 at 5:43 pm

[re=296805]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Nonsense. Just give ‘em a year of abstinence education, and be sure to put a basket under the tree, ’cause the fruit’ll be falling off the limbs faster than you can catch it.

chascates April 22, 2009 at 5:44 pm

[re=296780]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Got bees?

Lascauxcaveman April 22, 2009 at 6:02 pm

[re=296805]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: OK, you owe me one good set-up line now, Wookies. Fair is fair.

Lascauxcaveman April 22, 2009 at 6:18 pm

[re=296851]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Ah, who am I kidding. That one was low-hanging fruit.

Carl Winslow April 22, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Glenn Beck seems to have the same ideas and exact phrasing as Nate Silver.

DustBowlBlues April 22, 2009 at 6:30 pm

[re=296751]proudgrampa[/re]: And this year I pruned in March, like the stupid extension service says and I”m not going to even get a fucking apple and I had at least 20 gallons of apples off three trees last year–when I pruned them in Feb. Why do I pay attention to the pointy-headed hayseeds at Silo Tech?

June Cleaver 2.0 April 22, 2009 at 6:32 pm

Obama is still draining all the stimulus….

Why is that sexy-sounding and stimulating to me?

DustBowlBlues April 22, 2009 at 6:37 pm

[re=296818]chascates[/re]: I’ve got a really good great idea. There’s clearly enough interest to start a regular gardening column on wonkette. I’ll start: We live in the country and my husband regularly pees in the orchard because the smell of urine helps keep the critters away. Anyway, that’s my gardening tip for the day. You’re welcome.

DustBowlBlues April 22, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Okay, one more:

Wasting money putting sod in the Mall is as pointless as volcano monitoring. Seriously, the Mall looks like an RV park after a week long Good Sam Club convention. But some grass on that thing, will you?

bitchincamaro April 22, 2009 at 6:55 pm

[re=296929]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I live in the city and regulary pee in the street. So far, no critters. It’s working.

BTW, what’s a critter?

Lascauxcaveman April 22, 2009 at 7:27 pm

[re=296929]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Funny, I go outside to pee, too. Not for keeping critters at bay, but because I live in a house with 3 female (humans) and only one bathroom. I really need to get started on that second bathroom.

I keep forgetting to get a big ol’ bag of human hair from my cousin the hair stylist, to see if it will really scare the deer away from my edibles like she says. They seem to be doing a pretty good job pruning the geraniums and lavender.

Bruno April 22, 2009 at 9:00 pm

Quick someone tell Michael Steel that 60 democrat senators will give him special powers or something, which will fit right into his brilliant strategy which relies on counter-intuition

Packherd April 22, 2009 at 10:39 pm


I see what you did there.

Holding Out for a Hero April 22, 2009 at 11:59 pm

Rep Pence’s ears are stil ringing from teh bitchslap Madam Secretary gave him earlier today.

You boys better be careful because Hillary will cut you.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: