Oh Just FYI: Your American Recession Dollars Are Going Towards Enabling Obama’s Fascist Agricultural Hobbies

  rumors on the internets
  • Obama is still draining all the stimulus recession dollars on his personal communist pet project: re-sodding the National Mall in such a way that one million red roses spring up in shape of Stalin’s silhouette. Terrible, just terrible. [RedState]
  • Hillary Clinton isn’t sure whether she’d like America to have the opportunity to read the sequel to Dick Cheney’s torture fan fiction—Waterboarding Towards Bethlehem: A Nationbuildingsroman—and said some awkward thing about Cheney being weird, just to avoid the question! [Daily Intel]
  • Nate Silver sees four (or, “4″) futures for the Republican Party. He thinks a drift towards libertarianism is the best way to go, so that should tell you something about the other three options. [FiveThirtyEight]
  • Obama is making good on his pinkie swear to no one that he is so all about Service. [The Caucus]
  • NRSC Chairman Jon Cornyn has given up on pretending that the Dems aren’t going to secure 60 Senate seats. So, do with that what you will Norm Coleman—you will anyway. [Matt Yglesias]
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Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

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30 comments

  1. Lascauxcaveman

    Its uncanny, there’s yet another thing I have in common with the Preznit; we both spent too much on our gardening projects.

    I just dumped $120 on five fruit trees that are going to yield me $10 worth of fruit in the next 5 years (if I’m lucky). But that girl at the tree nursery has such nice smile…

  2. Scandinavian Fetus

    Waterboarding Towards Bethlehem: A Nationbuildingsroman

    Brilliant! No comment necessary.

  3. Serolf Divad

    The other three ideas:

    (1) Become Rush Limbaugh’s gay harem.
    (2) Government in exile (location TBA, but Brazil and Chile are high on the list.)
    (3) Whitesnake cover band.

  4. Will work for shoes

    [re=296724]Hooray For Anything[/re]: She was just brilliant all around. She had a great answer about “taxpayer-funded abortions as part of US foreign policy,” too. Her answer was something along the lines of “Your five daughters have the choice; I’d like women around the world to have the same choice.” I think that stung a bit.

  5. imarmcandy

    And, whoops, the gentleman’s time is up. Nicely played Madame Secretary, nicely played.

  6. Mr Blifil

    FWIW I was in the room with the First Lady yesterday evening (it was a very VERY large room) and her arms do indeed rock, though my glimpse of them was rather fleeting. Of the 1000 or so people in attendance, only 4 had clearance to get within arm’s length of her, so keep that in mind, those of you planning to corner her someday and impress her with your wry wit and savoir faire.

    BTW the crowd really, really, REALLY REALLY REALLY liked her. It sounded like a hockey game when she was announced.

  7. Swampwitch

    [re=296724]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Hillz was great there.

    I’m looking forward to the time when our foreign policy decisions aren’t judged by the metric of what makes dumbasses feel like they have the biggest dick on the planet.

  8. proudgrampa

    [re=296723]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah. That resonates. I can buy a LOT of fruits and vegetables at my local farmer’s market for the price of one my stupid fruit trees!

  9. chascates

    I think at one time during FDR’s tenure the senate held only 16 Republicans.
    Those were the days!

  10. SayItWithWookies

    If 80% of Republicans think the biggest threat to the country is big government, my suggestion is that they learn something about the last thirty years. Hell, if they learn anything besides historical revisionism, that would be a plus.

    And I couldn’t think of a better man than Dick Cheney for Hillary to kick in the balls. You know if it wasn’t for torture, America would just be a giant, smoldering hole in the ground, run by Lizard People who hunt humans for sport.

  11. Jukesgrrl

    [re=296723]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: and [re=296751]proudgrampa[/re]: If I were waiting for my orange tree to feed me, I’d have died during the Clinton administration. I planted that sucker years ago, and I have yet to see a flower, let alone an orange. Maybe it’s because I’m Irish? Let’s hear it for the supermarket.

  12. gurukalehuru

    Actually, I think it will be 1 and 4 teaming up against 2 and 3 in the Nate Silver neo-reptilian sweepstakes. The Jesus People vs. the Gazillionaires, and the Paultards will side with the gazillionaires because, of course, they are all deluded losers but, in addition, those Jesus People are fucking nuts.

  13. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=296780]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Not sure if it works the same as apples and pears, but don’t orange trees need to cross-pollinate with other orange tree varieties to be fruitful?

  14. SayItWithWookies

    [re=296805]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Nonsense. Just give ‘em a year of abstinence education, and be sure to put a basket under the tree, ’cause the fruit’ll be falling off the limbs faster than you can catch it.

  15. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=296805]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: OK, you owe me one good set-up line now, Wookies. Fair is fair.

  16. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=296851]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Ah, who am I kidding. That one was low-hanging fruit.

  17. DustBowlBlues

    [re=296751]proudgrampa[/re]: And this year I pruned in March, like the stupid extension service says and I”m not going to even get a fucking apple and I had at least 20 gallons of apples off three trees last year–when I pruned them in Feb. Why do I pay attention to the pointy-headed hayseeds at Silo Tech?

  18. June Cleaver 2.0

    Obama is still draining all the stimulus….

    Why is that sexy-sounding and stimulating to me?

  19. DustBowlBlues

    [re=296818]chascates[/re]: I’ve got a really good great idea. There’s clearly enough interest to start a regular gardening column on wonkette. I’ll start: We live in the country and my husband regularly pees in the orchard because the smell of urine helps keep the critters away. Anyway, that’s my gardening tip for the day. You’re welcome.

  20. DustBowlBlues

    Okay, one more:

    Wasting money putting sod in the Mall is as pointless as volcano monitoring. Seriously, the Mall looks like an RV park after a week long Good Sam Club convention. But some grass on that thing, will you?

  21. bitchincamaro

    [re=296929]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I live in the city and regulary pee in the street. So far, no critters. It’s working.

    BTW, what’s a critter?

  22. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=296929]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Funny, I go outside to pee, too. Not for keeping critters at bay, but because I live in a house with 3 female (humans) and only one bathroom. I really need to get started on that second bathroom.

    I keep forgetting to get a big ol’ bag of human hair from my cousin the hair stylist, to see if it will really scare the deer away from my edibles like she says. They seem to be doing a pretty good job pruning the geraniums and lavender.

  23. Bruno

    Quick someone tell Michael Steel that 60 democrat senators will give him special powers or something, which will fit right into his brilliant strategy which relies on counter-intuition

  24. Holding Out for a Hero

    Rep Pence’s ears are stil ringing from teh bitchslap Madam Secretary gave him earlier today.

    You boys better be careful because Hillary will cut you.

Comments are closed.