Wonkette
WELL THAT IS PRETTY GODDAMN SNARKY: “[H]e looks like a dumpling in a wig.” What an awful thing to say about Russell Crowe, the Ted Kennedy of acting! [The New Yorker]
AD HOMINEM ATTACKS ON GREAT ACTORS
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9:55 AM
on Wed April 22 2009
By
Sara K. Smith
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At first I thought it said “He looks like he’s humping a wig.”
more coffee. less denby. good bye.
If the New Yorker can’t run Anthony Lane’s reviews every week, couldn’t they just skip a week, in lieu of having Denby’s bushwa in their once-admired mag?
Better a dumpling in a wig than Young Republican Trotsky.
You know what, though, Russel Crowe does look like a dumpling in a wig. Broken clock, etc.
Snarky?
[i]Russell Crowe’s body is shapeless now, his complexion pasty, his hair long and lank; he looks like a dumpling in a wig. But there’s enormous life in his eyes and his voice. Crowe has an animal quickness and sensitivity, a threatening way of penetrating what someone is up to, a feeling for weakness in friends as well as opponents. He seems every inch a great journalist; it’s not his fault that the filmmakers let the big story slip through their fingers.[/i]
Crowe is…. enormous… an animal… has a threatening way of penetrating someone… every inch great. Is it still snark if it’s covering a deeply buried section of Denby’s psyche?
Dumpling in a wig. Dumpling in a wig… I thought that was Denby.
Realizing that his book was a terrible failure, Denby decided to change course. He has sent multiple e-mails to Wonkette in a desperate effort to start writing here. But, like the photo-caption comments, Jim Newell has struck him down with absolute vigor.
Luckily for Denby, the pinnacle of snark, “Red State,” is looking for a few lame assholes.
Denby’s reviews are written by young women who may have hated Crowes’s bland wigs as he went around the country making movie pictures.
It has the form of parody–it conveys to the reader that some kind of earnest claim (that, say, the Russell Crowe has become chubby and pasty) is being put down. But is also sounds like jealousy. The review is written by a young woman who may have hated Crowe’s portrayal of a bland jounalist. When a piece of snark doesn’t make sense, some hidden fury may be screwing up the writing. The review is failed low snark–obscure rage and sheer ineptitude choke any possibility of laughter.
That’s sort of a snarky comment. I’m going to write a crappy book about it now.
Maybe if I tilt my head back and pour some hot sauce down my nose I’ll come up with something funnBaseproduct: y to say about this.
Baseproduct: The old “span” coding works here. I had to try a couple of times before I figured out all the BBS code that works here. I usually just blow it off - too much like actual work.
And he looks like Bob Balaban, sans neck, with Tim Geithner’s hair.
Def snark. if i may paraphrase the subtitle of his book…
David “its rude, its mean, and its ruining our conversation!”
lulz
Russell Crowe is such a great actor he doesn’t mind looking less than his best in pursuing a role. Or he’s a drunk with thirty pounds extra of vodka weight.
In any case, there’s still hope for Crowe. Denby, I see only adult diapers and a mah jong tourney for thou.
I’d love to see the dumpling pitch a phone at the blowhard.
Denby can dish out the snark, but he sure as hell can’t take it. Fucking whiner.
I love dumplings. And wigs. And Russell Crowe. Suck it, Denby. I throw my phone at you!
DENBY!!!!!!
Denby meant this as the highest compliment - he is actually very aroused by dumplings.
dumpling -> s/b dumbass. Applied to either of them.
Eh — I give him a pass on this one, as he follows it up with a compliment. Besides, Crowe is supposed to look like a dumpling in a wig. Also, I learned a new word from his review: acidulous, which means what it sounds like it means.
Maybe I’m feeling generous because I’m working on my new book, Caption Contests: They’re Crude, Full of Fail, and I Haven’t Won One.
It’s man-crushing with an element of despair, and a dollop of latency: “Oh, Russell! How could let yourself go like that? Us porky, aging schlumps are counting on you to remain a gorgeous hunk for ever. Don’t do a Mickey Rourke on us!”
Denby wrote it much better. However dumb his ideas about the Evils of Snark, he’s still an OK writer.
Although he missed his chance to point out that the formerly hunky actor becoming a fat schlub in a movie role is seemingly an A-list rite of passage e.g. George Clooney in “Syriana”, Stallone in “Copland,” John Travolta as Edna Turnblad, etc. There are probably others.
Denby needs to find another line of work.
How about–journalism?
Better a ‘dumpling in a wig’ than a neutered urban metro-seksual in an effin’ button-down sweater!
Why is it that all ‘art critics’ are such dweeby-gay drama queens?
I had a hard time picturing this “dumpling in a wig” but a quick Google Image search helped:
http://www.dumplingman.com/images/Dumpling-Man-logo-for-web_0.gif
I totally see Russell Crowe in that pic. For sure.
Doesn’t even make sense.
art critic = failed artist
Get over yourself, Denby
binarian: Hey! I resemble that remark!
Mmmm…chicken n dumplings.
You missed the actual anti-Wonkette snark:
“Rachel McAdams is a cocky blogger who has to learn how much work goes into actual reporting”
that’s a booya right there