Wonkette
CAN OBAMA SAVE STRUGGLING MAGAZINE INDUSTRY BY GOING SHIRTLESS? Today, like every day, is “sex day” here at Wonkette. Our local porn rag, The Washingtonian, features a topless photograph of President Obama and his precious boobles in its May issue. Now click that YouTube link in the post below and you will have everything (minus a cold glass of Franzia white zin) for a very hot date with yourself, loser. [Washingtonian magazine]
Speaking of sexy music. I’m guessing Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy”?
Why does Barak Obama hate American Shirt Makers who rely on overseas sweatshops? also.
In answer to your question, why yes, yes he can.
This post eerily and somewhat suspiciously describes my average Sunday evening after the kids have gone to bed. Except instead of images of Hopey’s man-boobs I scour the internets for profile pics of SKS.
OK, I actually just creeped myself out. Sorry. Also.
He needs a burqa!
Um, what’s the female equivalent of “fap, fap, fap”?
Did the do a cover of GWB in his cod-piece, I found that strangely erotic, but then had to got to 4 years of therapy
AnnieGetYourFun: squish, squish, nag?
AnnieGetYourFun:
Sploosh Sploosh Sploosh?
Is that really one of the ‘20 Reasons to Love Living Here’? No offense but the rest of that list must suuuuck.
By Odin’s monotesticular scrotum, why didn’t anyone tell me it was Sex Day? Here I am, wearing my most disintegrated pair of boxer shorts and probably smelling like I just got in a fight with a crustie. Can we have a “do-over” Sex Day tomorrow, when I have a chance to shave?
Mr Blifil:
Those do NOT qualify as man-boobs, Mr. Blifil.
Limblob has man-boobs.
THOSE, are exquisitely shaped pectoralis majors and pectoralis minors.
Please.
Please never confuse the two in my presence ever again.
Nice pectorial, by the way.
Crab1: Too obvious.
AnnieGetYourFun: The sound of one hand clapping?
Honestly I don’t know. I’ve always made somebody else do the work for me.
AnnieGetYourFun: Diddle, diddle, diddle.
SmutBoffin: Why of course. Er - you’re not planning on going full Brazilian are you?
Just another of the many things that make me relieved John McCain didn’t become President.
West Coast Shit! Might I suggest nub nub nub?
Where are the topless pics of the rest of the family? I demand equality for all!
Dunga dungaree!
Whatevs. Post naked Chels pics, plzkthx. I’d buy that for a dollar.
Actually, a hot date with myself is a little more complicated than that. Among other things, it requires a video of Lara Logan (preferebly dressed in fatigues and riding in a helicopter), a pint of raspberries (in season), a good Virginia pinot grigio (White zin? What am I, some sort of art opening troll?), a scratchy cylinder of Thomas Edison reciting “Mary had a little lamb” on the Victrola, a Tom Hanks voodoo doll (optional, of course), a pair of white parakeets, Herman my stuffed three-toed sloth puppet, several balloons’ worth of nitrous oxide, aloe vera gel, three or so yards of non-scratchy off-white cotton fabric, gouache paints of various colors, and the soundtrack to Koyaanisqatsi.
So it takes a little preparation, but the payoff is outrageous.
Come on! He could at least have the taste to cover his nipples with his hands, like the rest of the topless superstars do…
Ah. That explains the McCain pic from previous. Walnuts had seen the Washingtonian cover and spontaneously starburst in his pants, something he hadn’t done for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS.
You forgot the NSFW warning. Mmmmmmm.
Custerwolf: snickersnickerSNORT. Funny!
AnnieGetYourFun: whirrrrrrrrrrr whirrrrrrrrrrrrr whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
weren’t the shorts black in the original picture? they are trying to let everyone know that hopey is a marxist, using libtard code!! run, run for your lives!
Custerwolf: Calling your vibrator “Mr. President” doesn’t make it “someone else”, hun.
“NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM” should be the new name of the Washingtonian, in keeping with theme of the comments in this thread.
NOM NOM NOM NOM GIMME SUM SWEET DC LUV-BITS.
dijetlo: The only vibrator I own is my old Ford when she ain’t tuned proper.
SayItWithWookies: The voodoo doll is in no way optional if you know how to use it right.
Custerwolf: Well I’m certainly not going to argue with that, but with the price of gas you might want to think about the battery powered kind…you could still call it Mr President…
AnnieGetYourFun: squish, squish, squish
Is there going to be a video? I’m thinking something along the lines of “Presidents Gone Wild”.
Barry will also solve the gay marriage issue by using this same tactic seeing as how a Shirtless Hussein will turn all men teh ghey.
Mild Midwesterner: Well I always use it, of course, but I don’t want the neophytes to hurt themselves unnecessarily.
dijetlo: Thank you, but I’ll have you know I AM a conservationist. I only drive into town when my plugs are fouled and I’m feeling a bit randy.
SayItWithWookies: HAWT. Let me grab my romper-stompers and I’ll be right over. Rowr!
cranky: NOBAMA
cranky: NOBAMA DYES HIS SHORTS WITH THE ARTERIAL BLOOD OF AMERICAN TAXPAYERS!!!
Zinfandel?!? Ye gods. You might as well be drinking Kool-Aid.
There’s just something Twilight Zone-ish about this photo and the fact that he’s the president and YET good-looking and in great shape. Something weird is going to happen next, or I wake up and find it’s just been a sweet, sweet dream.
AnnieGetYourFun: The canonical response, from the same source as “fap fap fap” (the repulsive webcomic Sexy Losers) is “shlick shlick shlick”.
hockeymom: nothing against AGYF, but you get the win — just because i haven’t heard “Yes he can” in about… oh… two minutes?!
Thank the gawds I didn’t read this at work — I SO would have been fired today!
Kennedy didn’t wear a hat, and killed the American haberdashery industry. OH NOES! SAVE TEH SHIRTZ!
Is that why the neonutz keep trying to teabag him?
Now this is why the racist wingnuts hate Barry. They know that their wives secretly voted for him because he is all kinds of sexy caramel goodness. He is also making it hard for the racist wingnuts to fight teh gay. Also.