Wonkette
James Carville and Paul Begala: they are lurking in the shadows of our nation’s capital, hidden behind a mysterious “door,” and when you open that door they will jump out wearing Batman suits and rape you before they steal your kidneys. Find out how you can get in on this one-in-a-millennium sexytime action, after the jump!
First, you send $5 to Hillary Clinton. She in turn sends $5 to Mark Penn. And then you, the “winner,” go have a three-way with a crawfish-scented skeleton and Paul Begala in the Senate rotunda! All the details are included in Begala’s latest gross-out email, which, like one he sent just a few weeks ago, is supposed to raise money for the impoverished Secretary of State.
Imagine yourself walking into an exclusive event in New York accompanied by none other than President Clinton.
Picture yourself in California as part of the live audience of the most hotly anticipated TV finale.
Think about sitting across from James Carville and myself discussing politics in the shadow of our Nation’s Capital.
Well you don’t have to imagine anymore…you just have to pick. And if it were up to me, I’d pick door number three.
Ha ha, barfy! But probably no more gross than doing karaoke or going to a sex orgy with Bill Clinton.
But the biggest question: Will there be tea-bagging?
$5? You kidding me? I’d need to be paid a lot more (read: billions in US America dollars) to be double teamed by that dynamic duo. Oh you mean, me pay them? Uh, no. I’d rather use a nailgun to secure my nuts to a cactus.
AfghanVet:
They’re Dems… so yeah.
Imagine yourself giving money to a person worth $80 million. Imagine this person has a snuke in her snizz. Imagine caring.
DO NOT WANT!
ManchuCandidate: …I will do it for a couple thousand! What can I say; its a recession and times are tough!
I wouldn’t pay a dime for a three-way with Reggie Love and Jon Favraeu (cute one, not the Iron Man guy) if it meant having that money go to Mark Penn, no sir.
I’ll give them money to keep Carville away from me, how bout that?
So I was driving back from the doctor’s office listening to Rush, which helps get my anger up for the workplace, and he’s all, “Obama! Chavez! Communism! The book!” and it makes you realize: they got nothing but anger. Obama’s doing everything right*, for the most part, and it’s working. So Rush says, “Obama is stupid. He’s well trained, but he’s stupid.” You wonder who listens to this shit except for entertainment value, and then you listen to the ads for mortgage fixers and on-line backup for computer illiterates, and you realize the audience is all losers.
Okay, that’s fine, AM talk radio has always been for losers (especially sports-talk listeners, fat-asses screaming at their childrens’ mistakes on the Little League field). So when did people start paying attention to these assholes? What changed? Was the crossover point when Cokie started making big teevee bucks?
*Big exception: still kidnapping suspected terrorists, not going after John Yoo, etc, but that’s from the Leftie POV; the wingnuts lerve this stuff.
Think about sitting across from James Carville and myself discussing politics in the shadow of our Nation’s Capital.
You can’t fool me here: “in the shadow of our Nation’s Capital” is going to be nothing more than a convenience store parking lot. And no, I don’t want to drink malt liquor during this “discussion”.
BillyClubb: …if I got a penny for every malt-liquor fueled political debate Ive been involved in, I would be a millionaire.
Who knows, the Carville-Begala thing has some appeal. Clinton’s too smart to let his guard slip, but I think getting those two shitfaced and then calling them pussies for not being liberal enough could get them to spill some good gossip.
tiny mexican: Me, too! But, uh, replacing the dudes with hot White House chicks…
ayItWithWookies
they were pussies, Newt’s bitches
V572625694: Rush is nothing. You should try Christian Talk Radio. They got it going on in spades. Combine hard right politics with biblical certainty and add a dash of rapture and bigotry and you got yourself some good traffic radio.
WAVA in the afternoons is all the ignorance one can possibly hope for.
O.K. Two posts today wherein Wonkette commenters are targets for execution, rape, or organ robbing. Were we bad over the weekend?
Why is Paul Begala taking pictures with a gross penis?
Wayne Anthony Ross doesn’t see what the big deal is here? You’re asking for it, you know.
AfghanVet: Today the Arizona Christianistas were all astir about the beauty pageant contestant who was ROBBED of her crown because she spoke against gay marriage in her “world peace question-time” and some bee-otch inspirational speaker who had enough lizard brain to avoid that pitfall stole away her sash and roses!!!! Holy types love their beauty pageants because it’s the only time they get to see bouncy tits. I guess this comment is off topic since were talking about Begala and the Ectomorph, but I got nothin on that.
Batman suits? I was thinking more along the lines of Jedi robes with no undies or Togas or something like that.
I swear to God that Carville is related to whatever they found at Roswell in ‘47.
Sara K. Smith is Mark Twain reincarnated!
Scandinavian Fetus: If by “is related to” you mean “was extruded from the cloacas of,” then yes.
CthuNHu: Usually, I only use the word cloaca during foreplay.
But, yes, “was extruded from the cloacas of…” is spot on.
The last interesting thing Carville did was “The People Vs. Larry Flynt”.
Zhu Bajie
Well, for only $5 I get to press the flesh with the
two geniuses who didn’t tell Super Bitch to put a
muzzle on Pimp Daddy, to stop blowing $250M on a lardass,
bullshit artist consultant, et al., and oh by the way
Begala, since you’re from TX, that she had to get her
people to the poles TWICE on election day in TX, first for
beauty contest, then again that night for the caucus
(it’s a Texas thing; you wouldn’t understand).
They are about as useless as the condoms Levi bought
at the General Store in Wasilla.
strike?