WASHINGTON, DC, 09:56 PM, MON NOVEMBER 23 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
BOILED FAT AND COLORED

Hoppy Easter!AMERICA’S GLOBAL HOLIDAY: “Today, Easter is celebrated around the world, from Beirut to Jerusalem. Even Australians happily celebrate this spring holiday, made all the richer by the importation of European bunnies to their South Pacific island nation.” [True/Slant]


4:47 PM on Sun April 12 2009
By Ken Layne
662 Views

  1. Cape Clod says at 5:16 pm, April 12th, 2009

    Someone’s been at the sacramental wine.

  2. Russian joke for the season:

    St. Petersburg. Hermitage Museum. An exhibit of a masterpiece by Peter Carl Fabergé. The caption reads: “Fabergé. Self-portrait. (Fragment)”

  3. Monsieur Grumpe says at 5:19 pm, April 12th, 2009

    Cape Clod:
    I was thinking the same thing only more along the lines of some mild organic hallucinogen.

  4. AxmxZ: You are denying that Russian Orthodox Easter is next week. Clearly you need to brought to one of the re-education camps.

    The best part about Orthodox Easter - no furries. Unless you count the hairy priests as furries.

  5. Bruno: Hey, this awesome joke just couldn’t wait until next year’s combined Easter.

  6. windupbird says at 5:36 pm, April 12th, 2009

    It’s not spring in Australia………..so they must be celebrating Christmas.

  7. Hominidx says at 5:46 pm, April 12th, 2009

    Ken Layne is one fucked up crackmonkey.

    It’s Greek Orthodox Easter next week…the Russians are allowed to co-habitate.

  8. bitchincamaro says at 5:54 pm, April 12th, 2009

    Tom Friedman’s got a raging tingling up his leg at this moment.

    Seriously, who the fuck everywhere in the northern hemisphere, is not ready to get all Christ-y or pagan-y for one day after 6 months of fucked up winter? Mmmm, chocolate bunnies with nuts.

  9. Not than I’m a pirate vegan, but how did we wind having kids hunt for hidden chicken fetuses to help celebrate Easter? Bunnies don’t lay eggs.

  10. Scandinavian Fetus says at 6:16 pm, April 12th, 2009

    I would vote for the one on the right.

    The bunny doesn’t speak English either.

  11. ifthethunderdontgetya" says at 6:20 pm, April 12th, 2009

    I’m sure there are more explicit pictures on the t00bz.

    But I really DO NOT WANT to know about G.W. Bush humping some furry rabbit, ok?
    ~

  12. Pilate says at 6:29 pm, April 12th, 2009

    If you drew a line between the number of times the Russians celebrated Easter each year for the past 70 years, and the number of times we Americans have celebrated the good ol’ Western version… well, Ken, this is just a hunch, which I hurriedly magic-markered on the back of a Dominican prostitute, but I have a feeling that the *angle* of that line would say something significant about the waxing and waning of historical tensions between the two superpowers - tensions which are, if you will, the Béarnaise sauce coating the lobster of international relations, which is sitting on a flat plate which represents, of course, Mars.

  13. Numbat Dundee says at 6:49 pm, April 12th, 2009

    windupbird: It’s actually, we are no longer in danger of being incinerated (for now) time in Australia. We need chocolate.

  14. Jukesgrrl says at 8:51 pm, April 12th, 2009

    And tomorrow will be Hunt Day when the Feds speed up their search for any golden eggs Bernie Madoff hid.

  15. mylesfromnowhere says at 9:23 pm, April 12th, 2009

    Does Hef know about the imported Bunnies?

  16. K. Signal Eingang says at 10:13 pm, April 12th, 2009

    That’s the best Friedman impersonation I’ve ever read. Do David Brooks next!

  17. hobospacejunkie says at 4:16 am, April 13th, 2009

    Bugs Bunny is the greatest comedian ever.

    Stupid Somalis, buying a Zune. What a bunch of gulli-bulls. What a bunch of nincowpoops.

  18. Captain Swing says at 5:07 am, April 13th, 2009

    Yes, it’s actually Autumn here in Oz. But the weather is still warm, the nights are balmy… and my football team is beating the shite out of all in sight- So all’s well.

    A late Happy Easter to all Wonketteers from The Captain.

  19. zhubajie says at 6:33 am, April 13th, 2009

    Here in China, one can go to church on Easter, if one wants, and completely ignore it otherwise. I ignored it. (Xmas gets a slight amount of attention.)

    Zhu Bajie

  20. Have you ever seen the formula to calculate the date of Easter?

  21. Nothing says ‘fertility’ like sugar-coated marshmallow rabbits, chocolate eggs, and lilies. Oh, and fucking. Yes.

  22. Ken, you so silly.

  23. Bearbloke says at 1:48 pm, April 13th, 2009

    Bruno: I love Hairy Priests - especially their last album!

Leave a Reply