Wonkette
Here’s Barack Obama and his “commie posse” in Europe, testing incredible new Marxist technology which will allow the reading of prepared remarks from the inside of these health-care umbrellas. [White House]
DID YOU KNOW READING A SPEECH IS SOCIALIST?
Obama Testing New Umbrellaprompters
Read More:
Those aren’t for the rain…they’re for the FUCKING BEES!
the full pic is even more lovely, though it lacks your excellent commentary.
“Commie Posse”? “Posse Comitatus”?
Coincidence??? I DON’T THINK SO SHEEPLE!
The chick on his right, is she one a them thar PIRATES??!!
WAKE UP TO THE TRUTH PEOPLE!!
I looked at the WH website and I still couldn’t figure out what the guy on the right was promoting on the umbrella. At first I thought it was the Obama logo, then the symbol of China.
Dubya tried that once, but it didn’t go so well.
It’s a commie teabagging defense shield made by ACORN.
What an elitist. He has to get a white guy to carry his umbrella for him.
A WHITE AMERICAN GUY WHEN HE IS IN MUSLIN TURKEY. TURKEY BOARDERS IRACQ. HE IS PLOTTING FOR THE TAKEOVER OF THE WHITE AMERIKCANS AND WE WILL BE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS.
And on Jesus’ birthday, too.
Bruno: OFMG, pixxx 25 of 27 on the WH site has him taking off his elitist shoes to go into a MOSQUE, the MUSLIN place of prayer.
A real American never removes his shoes and bows to the Allahz
ZOMG, ISLAMOKENYANCOMMIE sharing an umbrella with a white woman!1 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!
I’ve alerted Glenn Beck. He will be using a Ouija board to talk to Thomas Jefferson about this on Monday’s show. (when the fuck does his show come on?)
Bruno: Actually he’s carrying his own umbrella which is worse ’cause only pussies need umbrellas in the first place.
Where’s Bentley? Shouldn’t he be holding the umbrella?
Hunger Tallest Palin: That’s not a white woman, its a Turkish belly dancer, they got him there to reprogram his chip!!!1! Next he will have 3 new wives
Will work for shoes: How is he going to be able to stand strong against terrorists if he can’t stand strong against a few drops of rain? Fucking appeaser
SayItWithWookies: That picture of Bush could represent his entire 8 years in office.
I guess the secret service guys are the ones without the umbrellas. I would not feel secure if they worried about the rain.
chascates: Especially in comparison to Mr. Joe Cool in the photo above. Obama looks like he’s in some ad you’d see in GQ or French Elle.
It’s positive change to see that Barry doesn’t take off his shoes in public and reveal the toes are escaping ala Wolfshitz in the last administration.
SayItWithWookies: What an elitist umbrella.
Hooray For Anything: That’s part of the reason the rightwingers hate him so much. They protest too much. They find him as great-looking we Wonketeers.
OBama, bama, bama, eh, eh*?
*HENNNNNGH
I must have the sunglasses that Reggie is wearing in slide #13. And now I must change my underwear.
I haven’t logged into Wonkette in a while, has someone done a “THERE’S NO WORDS ON IT!” Barryprompter joke?
Wow Barry looks all singin in the rain there. Gene Kelly should be envious. When is he gonna break out into a a fantastic dance sequence?
Also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmCpOKtN8ME
Pilate: Slide 10 has him with a speechwriter getting ready to program the TeLePROMpteR.
It’s so lovely and magical. I’m thinking Mary Poppins, but without the tea bags.
Does the umbrella come with ACORN?
Hooray For Anything: Ha! French Elle. Real men only pose for Guns & Emmo. (It’s amazing that he looks that hot just walking with an umbrella.)
I like the bumpersticker in the ad on the left-side of the screen. “Socialsim: Trickle-up poverty” I doubt any CEOs are too worried.
Will work for shoes: More like Guns and Emo: Michelle brings the guns, Barry brings the emo.
Will work for shoes: Uh, that would be Guns & Ammo. He still looks hawt, though.
Will work for shoes: More pictures of Barry looking elegant in overcast weather plz! Preferably with Rahm at his side. White House needs a pic request line.
Forget the umbrella-prompters….Here’s
Pizza Gate!11!
~
Rove’s umbrella is lined with tin-foil.
This is pretty unAmerican. Real Americans don’t walk, especially not in the rain. They take their SUV.
AxmxZ: Rahm and/or Peter Orszag. I have a serious crush on Peter. Maybe we should start a photo request petition.
ifthethunderdontgetya:
Christ on a god damned rubber fucking crutch.
ifthethunderdontgetya: (reply button not working?) Any time any famous chef/restaurateur goes to the White House it’s on their own dime. When Bush was in office several cooks from Texas took up all their equipment, food, and staff to cook BBQ & Tex-Mex gratis.
Chicago may have a beef since the chef came from St. Louis but the American people are not out money and this happens very often to Presidents of both parties.
I’m waiting to hear about how the $200 spent on the White House vegetable garden will be claimed as a “$100,000 boondoggle.’
chascates: Wait until people find out the first puppy isn’t coming from a shelter. Per tmz.com it’s coming Tuesday and is being “rehomed” from the same breeder where Ted Kennedy gets his PWDs.
(Yes, I would prefer they get a shelter animal, but I’d prefer even more people not dumping their pets in the first place. You don’t dump your kids.)
Will work for shoes: They ought to all do a photo shoot, except instead of making it all West Wing they should do a Discoworld theme. Barry would make a charming yet subtly terrifying Lord Vetinari, and Rahm would just own the role of “Vetinari’s Terrier” Vimes.
Voyou Charmant: 5 P.M. Or so I’ve been told. I usually just watch selected clips of the crazy online.
chascates: If you were to head over to the Ace o’ Spades blartsite (note: I do not recommend this), you’ll find the reichtards making the same complaints both before and after sane people explain to them that the story is bogus.
They are immune to the facts, and proud of it.
~
Hey, you know who was nicknamed the Umbrella Man because he always carried a black umbrella with him? Neville Chamberlain! And now we have this picture of Barry carrying an umbrella…ZOMG MUSLIN APPEASER BOWS TO SAUDI MASTERS NEXT HE’LL TURN AMURIKA OVER TWO THE ACORNS AND THE ISLAMITES AND THERE SHERRY A LAWS GET UR GUNZ PEEPLES!!!
Will work for shoes: Srsly?? WTF? He’s getting a reject breeder dog? I continue to hate people.
Will work for shoes: i am completely in love with peter orszag; he’s the sexiest middle aged nerd i’ve ever seen (next to stephen colbert of course), even if his super nasaly voice is not so hot.
I think it’s rad that he’s holding his own umbrella. what a pimp!
Will work for shoes: Whoever who originally bought the dog ‘dumped’ the dog back at the breeders. That means this dog is a ‘rescue’ purebred. If he is not re-homed, then he is in foster care indefinitely. The Obamas are giving this dog his forever home….
Custerwolf: good dog breeders require any owner to sign a contract that if the owner cannot keep the dog for any reason, it is returned to the breeder instead of ending up at a shelter or rescue organization. It protects the dog, keeps many dogs out of the shelter system each year and gives the breeder peace of mind.
the dog is very, very cute. snazzy black with white legs.
Obama is disrespecting the Office by holding his own umbrella. Fortunately he is respecting the office by continuing the policy of using “state secrets privilege” to avoid defending apparently illegal wiretapping policies in court.
sati demise: True perhaps - BUT, as the happy “re-homee” of 9 dogs, I could never even begin to consider making a business out of adding more dogs to a world that already kills millions annually. I don’t believe a purebred is superior to a mutt (I belive the opposite actually). 3 of my dogs are Bloodhounds (very high-maintenance breed), one came from a shelter in Oregon (he’d been caught in a trap and lost his foot - I had the leg removed mid-femur), one was rescued from a horrible backyard breeder, 3rd was dumped on me. Only a fourth was returnable to the breeder (which I did after neutering him). The rest of my dogs came through shelters.
accidental_tourist: “WAKE UP TO THE TRUTH PEOPLE!!”
Ahem. It’s pronounced “SHEEPLE,” not “PEOPLE.” Although extra points for the double excalmation mark. (We also would have accepted “!!1!”)
Will work for shoes: Don’t put down Guns & Emo, beloved by the suicidal Smiths fan in all of us.
What’s going on in that photo? Did I somehow sleep through Julia Louis-Dreyfus becoming President of France, please?
I can’t believe how arrogant the White House is. Where the normal everyman would have to get wet in the rain from Heaven, Obama, in defiance of God’s rain, uses his elitist head covering device.
Do you need any further proof that he is a foreign Muslin!
Who do you think told the Somalis that an American ship was their!
It’s in the Bible People! Teabaggers 4-Evar!!!1
Also.
At long last, we have someone who looks good in a black suit.
That’s not rain - it’s Jesus crying over the Muslin Kenyan socialism now ruling the world!!!1!!111!!
seriously, how cool is it to be able to admire the prez… i’ve survived nixon, reagan, bush1, and the rats asshole, w. i’ve often fantasized about telling them exactly what the consequences of their actions have been,but always end up covering them with spit. take another look at that photo and tell me what you feel.
That is one hell of a lens. It looks more real than real. I have no snark to go with it. When I look at the picture I am struck by Obama’s solitude. Though he is surrounded by people, there is an overwhelming sense that he is alone. The fact that he is the only person of mixed ethnicity adds to that impression, but stops short of the reality.
The decisions this man makes will be recorded and studied as long as history and civilization still exist. The public will likely never know many of the facts that drive him to make certain decisions. Every single thing he says and does on record will follow him beyond the grave, and the immensity of that reality must be an incredibly heavy burden. As anyone with intelligence who has thought about it surely already knows…
The photographs of Abraham Lincoln illustrate that perfectly. I do not envy Obama and the road that he travels. No matter what he does, holding the office is, in itself, a brutal role.
Also, oh, hai. I just figured out I’m an elitist and a history snob. I deliver moot lectures and pointless over-statements to people who likely have more knowledge than myself here at Wonkette, and I do it with a straight face.
[Shut up and back out quickly. dumbass. Cut Your losses...]
He has a jaunty sort of umbrella stance. Almost like a manly Mary Poppins, and he’s holding it over that lady next to him. Who says chivalry is dead?
Proposed Alt-Text: “Obama Walks on Water While White Woman Gets Wet.”
Still an unsatisfactory Weekend Wonkette. A couple of DC only items, and the President holds an umbrella.
If there are no sex scandals and Michael Steele hasn’t said anything mind-numbingly stupid in the last 24 hours, maybe at least some pix of cute Portuguese Water Stallions, or whatever they’re called.
I mean, the dog.
Gallowglass: By “jaunty stance” do you some how imply it is a form of a wide stance?
2druk2phluq: your first paragraph describes the feeling black men have everyday , whitey. G-d damn you!1!
and black man’s kryptonite, white she devil set-up……how transparent. the whole barry marion thing, man…..
Bruno: Blue Sun Corporation logo. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!1!!!
Did you notice how he was always greeted with a “Red” carpet wherever he went? What more evidence do you need, sheeple???!!!!1!
The guy in front on the left looks like Aaron, the Secret Service guard on 24. MAYBE OBAMA WILL GUEST STAR?!??!??! We have to do something to get Cherry Jones out of there.
Lazy Media: The RED CARPET is a SECKRET PROTEST by the FOREIN GUBBERNMENTS that barack hussain osama obama is a USERPER and the TRUE PREZ should be a proud, natural born REPUBLICAN AMERICUN!!!1!@!!!!*!!
Happy Easter, Wonketeers!
(Trucknutz. Buttsecks. Also.)
http://www.canvasrus.com/gfx/art/RESEVOIR_DOGS.jpg + umbrellas.
THEYRE JUST A BUNCH OF THUGS AND SOROS IS BIG JOE!!1!!
AxmxZ: Discoworld? DiscOworld?
Hell yeah, Discoworld! Bring on the polyester and the afros!
He’s a witch!
He keeps dry in the rain, with just a magic stick!
Bruno: You have to pump up the volume if you want to lampoon a true wing nut. Kos is now featuring a weekly hate mail segment. Here’s a sample.
“I read your pathetic Oboma ass kissing site and you people are fucking morons. I saw you on TV and you look like a little smug faggot. I think all liberals should paint themselves black and find some black ass to have gay sex with. You people are a disgrace to the white race and to America. Your bastard president and he is a bastard cuz his white mom was a single whore when she got knocked up with him. He is a one termer, he lied, he duped, he brainwashed Americans and now they are GETTING it. You live by your whacked out biased polls, I dont need fucking numbers to see what Americans minus the liberals think of this disgusting person and his dog face bucked teeth wife. THEY ARE HATED. I CAN ONLY HOPE HE DROPS FUCKING DEAD.”
Spelling his name “Oboma” was a nice touch.
By the way, are we going to get some hilarious White House Easter Egg Hunt pictures tomorrow?
Cape Clod: You’re right. After being embedded in various wingnut sites (its makes me feel nice and dirty), I’ve had to I’ve learned to temper my crazy because they are so strict with the ban hammer.
Time for some more research.
Cape Clod: Can anything top that Photo of W hugging the Furry? I suspect Barry can make even Furry sexxx look classy.
c’mon man, hijacked vessels in kenya, warships named halyburton, kid killers named huckaby. wtf? lots of ky there….i blame the gheys. oh and the sheep thing too. also
2druk2phluq: It’s not just a fluke of the lens. Obama has always been something of The Cat Who Walked by Himself.
Cape Clod: spelled moran wrong.
And his feet don’t touch the ground! Mohammedan Magic, I tell you. Even his tea bags must certainly stay dry when plunged in boiling water.
Bruno: The only thing better was the heavily medicated Laura bracketed by two furries.
sarcasticusername: really? his weird little voice sealed it, and overcame his weird nose for me.
AxmxZ: FTW!!!
What the hell, nobody noticed this photo, from the slideshow, of a HEROIC WHITE BABY ATTEMPTING TO SAVE OUR NATION FROM THE TERRIST MUSLIN PREZNIT?
http://www.whitehouse.gov/assets/slideshows/896×504/europe16.JPG
Gallowglass: A REAL Prezident sneak up and give her a back rub. Liberals, hmph!
Seriously, I still have moments of OMFG, THAT’S OUR PRESIDENT? NO WAI!! More than I care to admit. Then I worry God will part the clouds, shout “Ha, ha suckers! Did you REALLY think you deserved this wonderful, intelligent, thoughtful and good looking class act of a man? Psyche!” give us the celestial finger and replace him with President McCain. Who promptly keels over and leaves us with President Palin. While howls of heavenly laughter echo across the sky.
Obama meanwhile is whisked away to be PM of Canada and Canadians come to the border and go Pffffft!!
Yes, I worry about weird things. A lot. Also.
AxmxZ: Yeah, because that gets you the presidency every time.
Zadig: Cute.cute.cute.cute.cute.
InsidiousTuna: second birthday….
Is that woman Obama’s Mrs. Landingham? Her name is Katie, I believe and she worked for Rahm at the DCCC and for David Ploufee.
Anyway, Rahm’s trying to impress her with his mad ballet skills and Barry’s all like “Don’t make me regret asking you to be COS” which of course he totally doesn’t.
And Hunger Tallest Palin, I’m glad to see that I’m not alone in this worry.
…hundreds of years after slavery a black man has finally become president and he still must carry an umbrella for a white woman!
Cape Clod: mom?
BBC reports kidnapped captain is free and 3 of the pirates dead. Still, watch for a few days of “Obama soft on pirates” from the yowlers.
AngryBlakGuy:
He’s just being a gentleman for the cameras. Imagine the outburst from Fox amd Oxygen if he failed to be the paradigm of chivalry. Lock-n’-load, baby!
Servo:
amd? Cheeto Jeebus Zombie! I haven’t even started drinkin’! YET.
chascates: Yeah, well, I bet Obama made the Navy guys apologize to the pirates after shooting them.
Cape Clod: I’m guessing Hillz and & Michelle are some of the more drug-free first ladies in the last 50 years*.
*I’m not saying 100% clean, I’m just saying at the bottom of the scale.
Mahousu: Wingnutz: Well, why did he take SOOO long?
~
chascates: Wow. They did a whole lot better at kicking that Pirate’s Booty than I ever could. Yummmm….. so delicious…Oh sorry.
chascates: USA USA USA! ♫ [I'm proud to be an American ♫ ♫ ♫]
Bruno: I remember back in the 90’s when Hillary was hitting that Dexatrim pretty hard.
And finally a little bundle of furry love has moved in to the White House. Bo, the Portuguese whatchamecallit.
chascates: You secretly read, People Magazine, too?
Custerwolf:
Possible side-effects from using Dexatrim:
Grouchy and irritable
Squawky voice
Clapping and pointing
Some patients developed a Super Fupa
The FDA sittin’ on their collective ass again.
chascates: Those furries are everywhere. There is a “teak” furniture store by my house with a furry Easter bunny corrupting the innocent. There was even a furry at CITY HALL. THEY ARE TAKING OVER OUR GOVERNMENT. FURRIES ARE THE NEW WORLD ORDER.
Scandinavian Fetus: The dog story may top the pirate rescue one. And this dog looks smart enough not to shit on the Oval office floor like the last resident. Or the last resident’s dog either.
shortsshortsshorts: I’m hoping global warming may make being a furry less desirable.
Let’s celebrate Easter and Obama simultaneously:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfamPW3Eaw
(Tom Waits- Chocolate Jesus)
chascates: I don’t think that it was the last “first dog” that shit on the Oval Office floor, I think that it was the last president that did so.
Billie Mays is full of shit, Oxyclean does not get Presidential Shit out of carpet, even if it is capitalized.
Custerwolf: ….Okay, I’ll bite. What the flying fuck does that mean?
Scandinavian Fetus:
Fuck the carpet! What about Good Ol’ Boy shit on The Constitution?
Servo: Servo, let’s be delicate about this.
He did NOT shit on the Constitution. He wiped his ass with the Constitution AFTER he shit on the carpet.
Always remember first causes.
Malloy douses Beck with shit.
Atheist Nun: And after you enjoy your Chocolate Jesus, you can go party at the Chocolate Disco.
No, this doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but the point is, chocolate’s good, isn’t it?
chascates: Portugese Water Dog? Obama can’t even get a nice, ‘Murican dog
Hooray For Anything: Like a German shepherd or an Irish setter.
Hooray For Anything: and they just legalized teh Marijuana in Portugal.
wake up people!!!11!1
Scandinavian Fetus:
When do the Cheneys come in on this Aristocratic shit-fest?
sati demise: I think every drug has been decriminalized/legalized there. Glenn Greenwald has a piece on its success:
http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2009/04/08/portugal/index.html
chascates: Or a pit bull. Now that’s a true ‘murcan dog right thar.
Servo: In all likely hood he probably pissed on the carpet too after a few of those binges.
smashtheduck: Clearly, many have not read the latest literature:
Lippshits, Y.U.M. (2009) Decreased urinary and fecal spatter patterns amongst metaphysically evil octagenarians. The Comparative Journal of Alimentary Canal Studies, 3(2), 101-666.
Because Cheney’s catheter was “wired” into the ventricles of his brain, he was circulating urine to maintain turgor pressure in his spine.
Meanwhile, his colostomy bag was recycling feces back into his heart to allow for a preemptive loss of necessary bile.
Therefore, in short, Cheney technically has nothing to excrete from his body and correspondingly spared the Oval Room carpet…his only altruistic gift to the American people.
Scandinavian Fetus: I hate you for giving me that mental image.
smashtheduck: You have to admire the scholarship and d00 diligence, however.
~
Scandinavian Fetus: Son-of-a-bitch.
I forgot my hyphen between “metaphysically-evil” in the citation.
My apologies.
“Listen, and understand: those TelEPromPtErZ are out there. They can’t be bargained with, they can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop – ever – until you are dead.”
AxmxZ: It was nothing. I was just being a cunt.
chascates: Why couldn’t Obama handle this like a real president and kill everyone within a 1000 mile radius because we didn’t want to wait until the pirates made a mushroom cloud! Might as well offered them blow jobs. No one is going to take the US seriously now.
Sorry, I was just writing Rush Limbaugh’s monolougue for tomorrow.
In all seriousness, while the Hannities of the world will tell us that this was a total FAIL, isn’t it nice to have a president who seems to have some sense of how to be President? Imagine the 80s, except Reagan had a working brain.
Servo: ughhh…super fupa. HOW could you do that to me?
Mahousu: Chocolate Disco
Awesome! Do they chop up lines of Swiss Miss Cocoa in the last stall of the ladies’ room?
This photo looks like the cover of “Special Beat Service” to me. Can Barry toast like Ranking Roger?
Atheist Nun: Actually, Pino is Perfume’s chocolate drug of choice.
Scandinavian Fetus: You get the prize! sickest post I’ve read all day. Congratulations and thanks for the visual