GOVERNMENT POWER GRABS  2:20 pm April 10, 2009

by Ken Layne

Op-Ed columnist, Washington Post Writers GroupWHY IS THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TAKING OUR TEA BAGS? “The lower classes and uneducated swarms seem to be the primary target for this ‘collection by coercion,’ in which the Senate and House of Representatives have dug in their heels and embarked on a crusade to take all the tea bags from our most humble citizens.” [AOL Political Machine]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 48 comments }

Bruno April 10, 2009 at 2:16 pm

Ken, the game might be up for you once all those AOL’ers actually follow the links you provided. Oh, that involves some mysterious device called the mouse.

The Cold Sea April 10, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Do the AOL folks, AKA the olds, know how to click on one of those lit up words?

freakishlystrong April 10, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Oh Ken, Ken, Ken, these idiots are going to think you’re serious you know..because they’re seriously crazy.

qwerty42 April 10, 2009 at 2:37 pm

They can have my teabags when they pry them out of my cold, dead hands. Same for the Truck NUTZ.

Nerdalicious April 10, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Classify this one under “otherwordly”

Clinton & Prez sitting at the white house playground together, from huffpo

http://www.theroot.com/blogs/browntable/exclusive-pic-clinton-and-obama-sandbox-again

Bruno April 10, 2009 at 2:44 pm

hmm, I appear to have been banned from AOL commenting. Or maybe I need to have some youngster graph out the proper commenting instructions for me.

El Pinche April 10, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Oh god, my alter ego jedinight69 is awakening from his Elmer’s paste induced slumber.

Serolf Divad April 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

The Obama administration is taking our tea bags because (a) tea is an effete drink for girly men (b) Obama is a fascist (c) Fascism is an ideology that prizes masculinity, athleticism, bravery, and strength. Obama has no time for you pansy tea-drinkers. In fact, tomorrow you will all be rounded up and shipped to gay old England.

2druk2phluq April 10, 2009 at 2:49 pm

I admire you, Ken, and it’s not snark. I know you’re incredibly intelligent. But are you suicidal? I know the world is hard, but death by wingnut sill sounds terrible. Please consider taking down your picture. One of those crazy fuckers might actually try to kill you. I thought about that before, but I didn’t say anything.

Dude, I’m not crazy enough to post a picture at my blog. Put an address with it and it would be like Grosse Pointe Blank in my neighborhood. The wingnuts hate me, a lot. I got lots of death-mail before I shut it off. It was creeping me out.

I’m just saying. The world would lose a great wit if something bad happened to you.

zenferret April 10, 2009 at 2:52 pm

[re=286462]qwerty42[/re]: They can take my teas bags when they pry them from my brown stained cold dead fingers.

americanscandoanything April 10, 2009 at 2:52 pm

scone mix

lol

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 2:53 pm

Pretty much off topic, but my future career in Hollywood is at stake, and I need advice from my sage Wonketteer friends, whom I trust implicitly:

Am I enough of a look-alike to play the title role when they make Wonked: The Ken Layne Story

Or should I settle for the Andy Partridge part in XTC – Drums, Wires & Pop Genius? My agent will give all due consideration to your thoughtful answers.

shortsshortsshorts April 10, 2009 at 2:56 pm

[re=286481]2druk2phluq[/re]: Hahaha the only e-mails other than tips that I get are death threats and diatribes about what a stupid asshole I am. It’s really great being a stupid asshole.

Scandinavian Fetus April 10, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Holy crap! I realize that I am new to Wonkette and all. But, Ken is SYNDICATED????

de Tocqueville meets Horatio Alger! I thought all of that stuff was myth!

On this special day, no holds barred. I am opening a bottle of Thunderbird.

OzoneTom April 10, 2009 at 2:58 pm

[re=286488]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I’m thinkin’ that you might have a shot at the part.

Mild Midwesterner April 10, 2009 at 2:59 pm
iwillsavethispatient April 10, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Okay, which one of you is the AOL commenter “Alabama Patriot”? You’re hilarious!

rocktonsammy April 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Very creepy watching Rachel and that really cute red head from the Beast,last night talking about tea bagging.

Also very hot, also.

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 3:08 pm

[re=286495]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]: Bow down in homage, novice. Our Ken totally rocks teh internets.

I understand he makes a pretty tasty chili-cheese dip, too. Yum!

qwerty42 April 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm

[re=286512]rocktonsammy[/re]: …that really cute red head from the Beast….
Ana Marie Cox, the original Wonkette.

Scandinavian Fetus April 10, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=286521]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I thought we were supposed to be snarky on this site?

Why do you think that I have spent so much time “lurking” before commenting?

Of course Ken is awesome. Where else can people speak uncensored within a collective of thoughtful, sharp individuals based upon great prompts?

We have to roast Ken occasionally, too, right?

Enough sobriety….I want to have Carrot Top’s baby and I am a dude.

Fox News Light April 10, 2009 at 3:26 pm

Am I the first to tell the Teabaggers to “Steep it up your Ass.”?

If so I want credit.

smashtheduck April 10, 2009 at 3:29 pm

Can someone please post a link to this fabulous piece of journalism on the Teabaggerz facebook page? Thank you.

Accordion-o-rama April 10, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Can anyone guess whether the comment (on the AOL site) by Alabama Patriot is for real?

L Urchin April 10, 2009 at 3:50 pm

[re=286488]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Do our ways frighten you? You seem to have mastered the wheel, however.

lampadadog April 10, 2009 at 3:52 pm

On the Official TeaBagger Site, it is impossible to tell which comments are real and which are posted by Wonketteers.

Itsjustme April 10, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Jacklyn Lopez3:04PMApr 10th 2009

YESSSSS…..We need TEA PARTIES!
Obama must be STOPPED !
The “Black Fool” is foaming at the mouth with drunken
power…! And all you liberals who support him…
….you are all deaf and blind….!

And Jacklyn is just another Ignorant Slut!

Itsjustme April 10, 2009 at 4:00 pm

[re=286628]lampadadog[/re]: Shorts is a giveaway

Lascauxcaveman April 10, 2009 at 4:01 pm

[re=286553]Scandinavian Fetus[/re]: Um, my mock-adulation was supposed to be snark, too. (Not that I don’t think our lord and master Ken isn’t totally swell; I do.)

Must make a note to be less subtle in the future.

qwerty42 April 10, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Sullivan posted this link. LGF is concerned about the teabagging parties attracting kooks? is it the end of days?

El Pinche April 10, 2009 at 5:09 pm

[re=286701]qwerty42[/re]: Now that’s funny. LGF is just now concerned about the rightwing kooks.

animalmagnetism April 10, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Simply just looking for the tearoom is all.

LittlePig April 10, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Looks like the AOL-Moran interrelationship is alive and well.

What’s really bad are the people that take all the comments seriously, even when the snark factor should be obvious to the most humor impaired. Sheesh.

Red Zeppelin April 10, 2009 at 5:52 pm

[re=286499]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: I think he’s real. However, he was the first real aoler, and he was the sixth poster, which makes me think Ken’s little column has jumped the shark. Still, thank god for Alabama Patriot and his ilk.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 April 10, 2009 at 6:01 pm

I really can no longer tell which comments are real and which are Wonketeers.

smartypants April 10, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Just nutshell please what the hell are y’all talking about?

daisy chain April 10, 2009 at 8:02 pm

This Layne creetin, with his Wonknete site, like so many other AMERICA HATERS and MARXISTS is trying to demoralize and DEMONIZE true Americans with his elitist, sarcastic “comments” and “humor”. His goal and those of of other socialist-NEW WORLD ORDER (NWO) elites is to his intimidate us into silence by collective embarassment while the homosexual / collectivist / atheist agenda plays out and secular humanism / marxism eventually comes over the country and smothers our way of life. We see this already in the Peoples Republic of Vermont. Its a form of beahaviorial control developed by the freudians and scientologists, perfected by the NKV in Bulgaria (working for their KGB masters including PUTIN) and now used by our “leader” and his followers. Real Americans like Sara, Michele and Glenn are being humiliated all the time with allegations that they are “wackos” thereby discreting their messages or they have, like Sara, their families humiliated by inuendo and comments about in-breeding (disgusting!) and what they wear. HUMILIATION = CONTROL = FASCISM. Oh and yes, Ken, we know all about “teabagging” and its hip hop connatations.

Whichever one of you wrote that is a genius. I almost thought that was real. Rou gave yourself away, though, with the part about “Real Americans.”

HomoPolitico April 10, 2009 at 10:13 pm

ALEX SAYZ: “Tea is, to wit, an urbane and sophisticated beverage. I particularly enjoy “a little cup o’ Lipton” when perusing the great books I keep in my personal library. There is nothing quite like reading the prose of our finest authors while sipping daintily from my Queen Elizabeth Jubilee tea mug, which I purchased so many years ago In England, not far from the storied “Abbey Road” recording studio owned by the Beatles.

I simply do not care for coffee.”

And that, my friends, is what we call a double reverse Noonington with a twist. Way to stick the landing, my adorable bespectacled desert bear.

Sharif DelMonte April 11, 2009 at 12:43 am

And when will President Boyfriend pardon OJ?

hobospacejunkie April 11, 2009 at 2:40 am

Over 120 comments so far. This one’s a big hit, with a variety of cranks, plus our very own personal feud between Tina & CJ, whose life story we all now know. I love watching the powerless losers degenerate into screaming, impotent little fuckbags. It warms my heart, especially knowing that just a mere 2-3 years ago these cretins thought they would rule the world forever.

Bruno April 11, 2009 at 5:37 am

Since it seems I’ve been banned by AOL commenting, if this doesn’t show up, feel free to re-post:

WARNING TO TEA BAGGERS

Obambi has told the ACORNS and the IRS to go to the TEA BAG PARTIES nationwide. They will be trying to take your names and signatures. They have the ability to record cell phone numbers that are in the area and do REVERSE lookups of you. They can WIRETAP you and make you out to be domestic terrorists. They can photograph you (without approval) and use the evidence against you.

WHAT TO DO: If you must attend TEA BAGGING PARTIES, then (1) Wear a ski mask so they can’t photo or video you (2) Do not sign anything or say your name (come up with code-names) (3) turn off your cellphones and pagers so you cannot be tracked (4) if you must park near the TEA BAG PARTY then be sure to hide your license plate or arrive annonymously by walking.

YOU WILL BE AUDITED BECAUSE YOU DONT WANT TO PAY DEMOFART TAXATION.

THE ONLY GOOD THINK BARAK DID IS CLOSE G-BAY OTHERWISE HE WOULD SEND US ALL THERE AND WE WOULD HAVE TO MIGLE WITH THE TERRIRSTS IN PRISON.

Bruno April 11, 2009 at 6:02 am

[re=286926]Bruno[/re]: Looking at the other levels of crazy over there, I can’t imagine what the hell I said before.

Please someone post something like the above, please…

TGY April 11, 2009 at 6:53 am

Well, then there’s ‘bubble tea’, but perhaps I have said too much.

hobospacejunkie April 11, 2009 at 9:47 pm

[re=286926]Bruno[/re]: Bruno — I posted your brilliant warning. As for you being banned by AOL: pardon me if I’m insulting you, but on AOL, at least for me, I post, then I receive an email from AOL inside of which is a link I have to click. Once that’s done my comment appears. Perhaps you’re not receiving the email or it’s going into your junk mailbox?

hobospacejunkie April 12, 2009 at 2:02 am

[re=286927]Bruno[/re]:

kathy12:11AMApr 12th 2009
Hobo Space Junkie, the height of paranoia, come on now…………………………………………….

Louis IX KingofFrawnce12:21AMApr 12th 2009
no kathy ( lower case K),
he’s right. all democrats secretly know that getting repubulicans to teabag was an emmanuel rahm scheme to flush out right wingers for purposes of annihilation. we learned it from the nazi’s when they got jews to register for free ‘showers’. rham knew that all he had to do was plant the word ‘teabagging’ in neoclown media and all neo-conservatives would come running to be the first in line. our master plan is coming along just fine. sssshhhhh!

kathy12:32AMApr 12th 2009
Louis, so you think they are out to get the tea parties? LOL I do know the DNC are going to rally at the state capital cities the same time as the Tea Paries. They want to make a statement too.

Bruno April 12, 2009 at 9:23 am

[re=287081]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Thanks! Brilliant responses. I will have to set up an AOL account from work or some other IP address, I guess (shudder).

Bruno April 12, 2009 at 9:24 am

[re=287081]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I should have added something about brandishing your 2nd amendment rights plus wear the ski mask. Damn

Bruno April 12, 2009 at 9:31 am

[re=287067]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Doh! Spam folder guilt. I will impose a 6 day No-AOL bashing punishment on myself. It also appears that any AOL mail goes straight to Spam. I don’t think I’ll modify my settings.

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