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LOPSIDED VICTORIES

Mike Quigley Is Your New Rahm Emanuel

Not as sexy :(It was a nail-biter, folks! Illinois’ 5th District held a special election after Rahm Emanuel left his post to go whisper evil imprecations in the ear of our malleable and naive young king, Barack Obama. Two contenders emerged: Cook County Commissioner and known Democrat Mike Quigley, and the deranged Freeper Rosanna Pulido. Ms. Pulido put up a valiant fight, but without national Republican support could not prevail over the Democratic Machine, which decided to put Quigley over the top with oh like 70 percent of the vote. What is this, Russia? [Chicago Tribune]


9:38 AM on Wed April 8 2009
By Sara K. Smith
1129 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 9:42 am, April 8th, 2009

    A Demrat overwhelmingly wins in a heavily Demrat district against a moran wingnut who hates herself. Only one solution…

    RECOUNT, you betchya!

  2. Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! says at 9:42 am, April 8th, 2009

    The question is how long will it take the new congressman to realize it just wasn’t worth it to get a phone call in the middle of the night from some hypercaffeinated ballet dancer with a semi-Chicago accent screaming, “Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigley!!!!”

  3. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 9:45 am, April 8th, 2009

    Recount!

  4. magic titty says at 9:46 am, April 8th, 2009

    Yes We Can?

  5. “Mike Quigley Is Your New Rahm Emanuel”

    Quigley’s Jewish??

  6. charlesdegoal says at 9:48 am, April 8th, 2009

    Largely meaningless so-called by-election. Nothing to do with Britain, where Rahm E would have to run for his own seat, or to save his own ass, or something. Whatever.

  7. ManchuCandidate says at 9:51 am, April 8th, 2009

    Mike Quigley = Wayne Jarvis (Arrested Development) aka John Michael Higgins?

  8. WadISay says at 9:51 am, April 8th, 2009

    Quigley told supporters at a North Side tavern that he knows he will initially be recognized in Washington as “the guy taking Rahm Emanuel’s seat,”…

    Rahm Emanuel always thought of it as his fucking seat.

  9. Noodle Salad says at 9:55 am, April 8th, 2009

    Waiting for Michael Steele to compare Illinois and Moldova in 5…4…3…

  10. norbizness says at 9:55 am, April 8th, 2009

    That is not the shape of a human head.

  11. DoctorCulturae says at 9:55 am, April 8th, 2009

    When will they have the ceremonial digit circumcision?

  12. hobospacejunkie says at 9:57 am, April 8th, 2009

    Mike Quigley Is Your New Rahm Emanuel

    So he’s a 9½-fingered shouty Jew who’s helping give away trillions to undeserving failed banks & their failure managers? Or just another powerless freshman rep about to get pwned by Cantor’s beyond-silly youtube ambushes? And when I say pwned I mean slightly annoyed, then brushed off like so much lint off a cheap suit.

  13. AngryBlakGuy says at 9:59 am, April 8th, 2009

    …but since he didn’t get 110% of the vote in that district, it is obviously shows the failure of Barack Obama’s presidency!!!

  14. Come here a minute says at 10:01 am, April 8th, 2009

    Rahm’s coming back after his White House stint, so Quigley better enjoy it while he can (i.e, get a hold of Rahm’s bribe guy).

  15. Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! says at 10:05 am, April 8th, 2009

    Won’t Quigley have to go in the IDF for a few years if he wants Rahm’s seat?

  16. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:08 am, April 8th, 2009

    …they went from Rahm Emmanuel, a guy that looks like he should be a rival boss to Tony Soprano, to some guy named Quigley, who looks like he should be working in a “Bed Bath & Beyond”?! Chicago you FAIL!!!

  17. McDuff says at 10:13 am, April 8th, 2009

    Just keep’n the seat warm here boss.

    Just keep’n the seat warm there Luke.

  18. I see lots of profanity in his future.

  19. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 10:17 am, April 8th, 2009

    AngryBlakGuy: only 110%? This is Chicago, after all; he should have had 300% of the vote.

  20. McDuff says at 10:30 am, April 8th, 2009

    Advocatus_Diaboli: The Chicago Machine must be slipping — Rahm forgot to vote, the block captains forgot to give out the silver dollars outside the polls, and the ward bosses forgot to wake up the cemeteries. Come on Junior, get it together or pretty soon there’ll be a Republican on the Sanitary Commission!

  21. gurukalehuru says at 10:39 am, April 8th, 2009

    Fare Thee Well, Rosanna Putana…I’m sure we will meet again.

  22. Keram2 says at 10:42 am, April 8th, 2009

    He looks like a cleaned up Patton Oswalt.

  23. tiny mexican says at 10:53 am, April 8th, 2009

    Alt text win.

  24. Come here a minute says at 10:53 am, April 8th, 2009

    gurukalehuru: As my Granna Putana used to say, “It’s always something!”

  25. Rep. Quigley sort of looks like Mayor Quimby, no?

  26. AliBabaInBA says at 11:13 am, April 8th, 2009

    norbizness: Thank you.

  27. PerhapsSo says at 11:18 am, April 8th, 2009

    But can he dance?

  28. donner_froh says at 11:56 am, April 8th, 2009

    Rosanna Pulido getting 30% of the vote shows once again that Chicago is not ready for particpatory democracty.

  29. Lascauxcaveman says at 12:39 pm, April 8th, 2009

    I’m just pleased that the Dems are running a real Moran for the next gov of Virginia. Sez right there in the Wonkette sidebar ads.

  30. TeddyS says at 12:56 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Congressman Quigley, thank you for whipping the pee out of another crackpot Republican, and welcome to the House of Representives.

  31. McDuff says at 1:26 pm, April 8th, 2009

    What, no statement from the RNC and Hip-Hoppy Buns of Steele on the outcome of this referendum on Hopey’s first 10 weeks?

  32. Will work for shoes says at 2:36 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Keram2: I thought Pat Sajack with extra cheeks.

  33. If Quigly doesn’t save at least 2 lives in DC in his first 100 days, he should resign.

  34. DoctorCulturae: “When will they have the ceremonial digit circumcision?”

    You mess up, you lose a finger.
    You miss a payment, you lose a finger.
    You cross me, you lose a finger.

  35. donner_froh: “Rosanna Pulido getting 30% of the vote…”

    Are we for certain that 30% wasn’t for Lizard People?

  36. OzoneTom says at 3:07 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Will work for shoes: I guess the Pat Sajak part is the 30% Republican piece and the cheeks make up the 70% Democratic share.

  37. DagNabbit says at 3:14 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Mike Quigley = Steve Zahn - Hilarity

  38. searanch says at 6:22 pm, April 8th, 2009

    Why in the name of all that is holy is there an ad for SARAH (Palin) PAC here? I thought I was safe here, and that her name could only be mentioned here as part of ridicule and snark!

  39. hobospacejunkie says at 6:33 pm, April 8th, 2009

    searanch: Our esteemed Wonkette editors gotta eat, too, brah. The funny needs more fuel than hobo beans and brackish water.

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