Wonkette
NATIONAL MURDER-SUICIDE SLAUGHTER CONTINUES: This time it’s Alabama, where a guy killed his whole family and then offed himself. [Times Daily, Alabama]
AMERICAN BLOODBATH
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Why can’t these fuckers kill themselves first? Because they have to make themselves feel super guilty and remorseful after they murder other people so they can finally get up the balls to shoot themselves? What’s the psychology on this? I really want to know. And I’m too tired to look it up.
Oh, that reminds me — I need to get serious about my plan to dose the entire world’s population with birth control. Enough’s enough. We had a good run, but just could never quite get civilized. It’s time for some other species to have a shot at running things.
I pick the Okapi. They seem like a calm, civilized bunch.
SayItWithWookies: I vote Lizards. But then again, I always vote for the Lizard People.
but did he do it because of Obama?
sanantonerose: it’s something like family annihilation complex or something. men who are so obsessed with the value of their manhood, they think that their children are better off dead than living in a world that would be so mean as to take daddy’s emotional phallus away.
reading about it does not make you feel better, so don’t bother. cry baby go boom syndrome, seems like a better name for it.
sanantonerose: comradepaulson: It’s a dilemma — whoever wants it probably shouldn’t have it, and whoever might do a good job of it will probably get bumped off the critters in the first group. I was gonna suggest mountain gorillas, but the odds that a few hundred intelligent, shy leaf-eaters who are naive enough to get taken in by us could do anything but go extinct are prettly slim.
Also, that killer in the article looks an awful lot like Troy Aikman.
The news had no mention of him being afraid of losing his 2nd Amendment rights but until someone proves differently that’s what I’m believing.
Use ‘em or lose ‘em!
Your worst AOL column by far.
And some ‘patriots’ hear of this they’ll run right out and stock up on guns & ammo (stores nationwide are having record sales of both)and send money to the NRA. And the circle will complete itself.
sanantonerose: Actually, I’ve been considering the pygmy hippopotamus family. They’re snug, not too fat, vegetarian, and they have a pleasant demeanor.
This wouldn’t have happened if the rest of his family had guns too
But why should we hear about body bags and deaths and how many, what day it’s going to happen, and how many this or what do you suppose? Oh, I mean, it’s, not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?
I love the commenters on that site regurgitating FoxNews and Glenn Beck , YOU WATCH , YOURE GONNA SEE MORE OF THESE STORIES BECUZ THEY WANT TO TAKE AWAY OUR GUNS.
It looks like Michele Bachmann’s dreams are coming true!
When someone tells you what you don’t want to hear and it’s true, it hurts. When it’s not true, you just shrug it off like the person’s nuts. Could this be why the entire nation threw a shit fit when Jeremiah Wright said our chickens were coming home to roost?
El Pinche: talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy.
IF THEY TRIES TO TAKE MAH GUNS AH’M GOING OUT IN A HAIL OF BULLITS!
kipperthegod: So you are voting for the chickens to take over? Interesting. Do chickens have truck nutz? Can they teabag? These are the questions I need to have answered before I will consider them for our replacement.
Aw, the Wonkettes ate my post.
But anyway I was just ranting about how it’s fairly obvious the 24 hour news networks should consider not glorifying these fuckers for once. I mean, I know these stories bring in the hits/ratings, I slow down to gawk at car accidents like everyone else. But they can’t even pretend they’re performing a public service by reporting on “breaking” crises that have already ended.
The only thing they’re doing is convincing more lunatics that this is the way towards their 15 minutes of fame.
There were divorce proceedings so this sounds more like I’m gonna get you back you bitch than it does I love you so much I want to take you to “heaven” with me. The second one sounds nice, but trust me, both types of murder-suicide equally suck.
My favourite comment was right at the top:
I am sure Kevin was undergoing “mental health treatment” mandated during his court appearances. Are we to believe that this rash of killings are not related to the “mandated mental health treatments”?
Don’t you somehow get the feeling the poster is undergoing their own series of “mandated mental health tratment”?
expatinOz: That’s very much the same way that chemotherapy causes cancer and dieting causes heart disease.
Oh, and here’s an animal who should run the world (and whose name I can never remember): the colugo. They’re obscure, solitary, nocturnal and they (sorta) fly. They have every trait I consider endearing about myself, plus the ability to glide 70 yards from tree to tree. Who wouldn’t want them to run the world?
sanantonerose: Why can’t these fuckers kill themselves first? I think you have the cart before the horse. The point is that want to kill some people. That’s their primary motivation. But they don’t want to let the state get its revenge on them. So they off themselves after they kill the people. That’s not such bad reasoning, assuming that you want to kill some people.
In reply to one of the comments that no one was trying to take their guns away, this was just a tragedy, one Alabamian replied:
“You clearly don’t understand the intent of AG Eric Holder and the Obamanation…they have every intention of disarming this nation…you are simply clueless. My point earlier was, and is, that he could have done this horrendous action with ax, bat (club), knife (remember OJ??). People who are concerned with perserving personal freedoms are not SAD.
American by birth, Southern by the grace of God.”
And might I add, ‘Ignorant by genetics and environment, paranoid by the grace of the far right noise machine.’
SayItWithWookies: I vote lemurs….smart but not too smart, and fun!
SayItWithWookies: Bonobos. They resolve all their conflicts with lots and lots of friendly copulation.
SayItWithWookies: Banana slugs…it will take a really long time for them to come up with ideas like personal urban mobility and accessibility, bailouts and bullets, but they’re cool with incest, pederasty and rain forests.
Some say the world will end in lemurs;
Some say iguanas.
From what I know of misdemeanors
I hold with those who favor lemurs.
But if we must die out (and most don’t wanna)
I think I’ve seen enough cold blood
To know that for our end iguanas
Are also good –
So do the honors.
chascates: Southern by the grace of God, as in “hard working Murkins” ?
chascates: U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
President X: Southern by the grace of:
a. Being more loyal & patriotic than the Yankees (everyone really)
b. Being more adapted to the hot, humid red dirt
c. Being too poor and ignorant to move off the tobacco patch
Hooray For Anything: F.T.W.
The NRA should start giving out discount deals to relatives of victims of gun violence. It would probably substantially reduce their revenue from the membership dues initially, but it’ll keep their rolls nice and full.
This awkward guy from “the Second Amendment Foundation” is obviously one of these enablers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ3nhx0dNWc
He’s clearly frightened by his own shadow and has a very tiny penis like many of the gun freaks.
I had a long soliloquy about gun regulation and the NRA,etc,etc, but I deleted it. The NRA is a big stake-holder in congress, it will be a long time before we see any serious regulation. zzzZZ. blah.
Next time, I wont do a triple shot of espresso at 8 pm.
SayItWithWookies: There’s a species already planning it’s ascendancy. PISTOL SHRIMP!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeFUO2F7Gvw&feature=related
N0BAMA CAN TAKE MY ASYMMETRICAL CHELAE FROM MY WARM BODY PAN FRIED IN BUTTER AN GARLIC!
Jesus, another one!
http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/4-Shot-in-Campground-Rampage.html
NOOBAMA HALF BREED MUSLIN IS IN XPERIENCED
I miss the days when we could blame immigration.
Although I’m no longer in the US, I still read Wonkette religiously each day, but rarely comment. Look, I have to say - some of these killings were not in the South. Am I right? I am a Southerner, and we Southerners are proud. I will not give in to the liberal urge to feel guilty!! Not all of us are armed to the teeth ready to go out in a hail of bullets. Granted, though, there are quite a few. Go look at population trends, why are all the Northerners moving to the South if it is so awful? I’m telling you, it’s a secret desire by Northerners to fuck some shit up.
OT, but BTW, this guy is awful:
Steven Crowder (”Liberalism is a disease… Meet the cure.”…..gag)
http://www.youtube.com/user/StevenCrowder
his non-funniness is funny in a sad way.
saradc: You can do better than that.
agentstinky: Deputies said the shooting happened around 7 p.m. at “Korean religious retreat”
See! It’s this religious angle that’s dangerous.
saradc: Most of these 2009 mass killings have been on the coasts: Silicon Valley, Los Angeles, Washington state, North Carolina, New Jersey, etc.
expatinOz: Public mental health treatments aren’t sh*t. The county authorities are too cheap to buy and hand out, eg, Prozac. Instead, you go to some new age voodoo practitioner who tells you to repeat “it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad.” Good enough for poor people, as a poster I once saw said.
Not that anything justifies this kind of massacre. He should have killed himself first.
Zhu Bajie
Ken Layne: It’s religion and salt air!
It seems like they’re moving down the coast. I call Mississippi next. Can’t decide between a family massacre or multiple cop killing, though.
chascates: Hmm, the logic there is so illogical. You mean I can really go on a mass murdering killing rampage with a bat?
Maybe Obambi wants to get rid of Nucleeaar Weapons and give everybody bats.
There might be a slight gap in intervention time between a ‘hair trigger’ and bludgening someone.
expatinOz: The Scientologists are right! Mental health treatments are bad. Less mental health = less murderous killin’ rampagin’
I know Glenn Dick & “Patriot teabaggers” are behind this somehow, someway with their hate speech brainwashing. Look at the state: Alabama. These people are pressure cookers for years, then they tune into crazies on the radio/teevee & kaboom, just like the Pittsburgh shootings. Lou Dobbs, of course is already on the immigrant trail of the NY killings, (I predicted that). I believe that person was born in the US. Fact: 53 Mass Murders killings in the US in the past 32 or so days. Unprecidented. Now 53+. Children being raped & murdered in trailer parks in the south on a regular basis. Jessica Lunsford (raped & buried alive), Haleigh Cummings (still missing), Caylee Anthony, Sandra Cantu (murdered & I assume raped, stuffed in a piece of luggage & thrown away)her Mother had to be hospitalized when she found out, she’ll probably die of a heart attack (wouldn’t you?), on & on & on BTW, they are seriously looking at the pastor whose grandchild played with the girl in CA. They need to shut these pastor/priests pervs down in these churches instead of “reassigning” them enough is enough. How much closer to satan than to God is this behavior??????????
YellowSnow: No one replied to that poster to ask the last time there was a mass axing, knifing or batting.
Crazy Mother F*****g Pastors/Priests. Prez, I believe is a maverick on this subject, I believe he believes in the death penalty for child rapists. The guy is an amazement time & time again. Go Prez!
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/04/08/california.girl.slain/index.html
Nerdalicious: And watch for the pulpits this next Sunday to mourn the loss of God in peoples’ lives as the reason for the killings. Although, those relatively heathen Dutch, French, and Swiss seem to be pretty peaceful even with a lot of Muslin immigrants and the evil, cheap broadband internet access.
It’s a good thing democrats are getting cold feet about the Employee Free Choice Act. We wouldn’t want distressed working people in this country with no job security to have a way to organize, have solidarity, and better their life situations. Don’t worry though, these people will find an outlet besides murder next election when we elect the first true American fascist. Just hope you’re not part of the group that gets blamed for everyone’s live falling apart. And at least Wal-Mart will stay union-free. Or, maybe democrats will stop being such worthless faggots and actually represent change, for a change.
chascates:
Prez’s stance on the execution of child rapists. This took tremendous guts for a left wing Presidential Candidate to take this stance. My opinion of him soared after this:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25379987
Chascates, oh yes, Ted Haggard(hypocrite from hell) & the lot of them. Yes, you are right about so many other cultures, that are much more socially advanced than ours & peaceful.This type of thing in unheard of in the countries you speak of. There was another point Michael Moore made in “Bowling for Columbine”. “Why so many other countries with so many more guns than the US, & their violence & murder rate is nil compared to the US?” When you start out a country based on the genocide of Indians & African Americans there is an evil, an cancer of sorts in the soul of that country, it is exploding all over the place now.
Prez, just recently, signed with his magic golden feather pen, a bill allowing FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AMERICAN HISTORY, that a certain tribe of American Indians got to have RUNNING WATER on their reservation! Un f*****g believable. The level of depravity this country is on on social issues, is one of the pieces of the puzzle we speak of here.
saradc: Good point. Of New York, California, Pittsburgh, California, Washington and Alabama, only one is in the South.
It’s just that we like making jokes about the south because of all the pig-fucking and stuff.[re=283485]
chascates[/re]: I wonder what the world record is for number of people killed with a baseball bat?
gurukalehuru: I’ve never understood how a killer cold stab someone, say, 40 or 50 times. I get tired just raking a few leaves let alone trying to dodge squirts of blood and trying to stab through all the cartilage and bones and stuff.
SayItWithWookies: “…obscure, solitary, nocturnal” … but do you, umm, date?
Turd Way: Amen. FUCK YOU Democrats for lying your fucking asses off to us then bending over for fucking wal-mart you assholes. Especially you, you man-looking POS named Blanche from Arkansas. I wrote her last night telling her I’m giving cash munnies to her primary opponent (she did not reply nor seem alarmed in any way. So it goes.) Why the fuck did we elect these spineless fucks just so they can roll over again for their corporate masters? Goddammit. Two party system needs to be flushed. Constitutional convention NOW. At least the Republicans are out front with their bigotry and toadying up to the rich. The fucking democrats pretend, to get elected, and then do pretty much the same damn thing whenever it comes to actually changing anything. And they wonder why we have such low voter turnout. If we had laws like some other places where the election doesn’t count unless X% of voters turn out or if we could vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE maybe they’d get the fucking message. Well at least I only pay attention to politics through Wonkette & Olbermann. Any more exposure and I’d be sticking forks in my head for jesus at the insanity of it all. The backstabbing, it hurts.
“It’s the economy, stupid!!!”
News flash! ANOTHER Mass Murder at a California RELIGIOUS RETREAT. What was I just talking about?
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/04/08/california.shooting/index.html
This is serious. We need a shorter phrase than murder-suicide. Like muicide. I’m sick of it. It’s too much.
A little smaller death toll; mother caps her 20-yr-old son then herself at a gun range:
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=3906861&cl=12870357&ch=4226713&src=news
With censored video!
4tehlulz: Avoid trips to shooting range with the mentally ill.
chascates: So you’re saying I should cancel that date with Glenn Beck.
I think these murders are directly correlated with the pictures surfacing on Wonkette (see Carrot Top, Kim Jong Il, etc.)
Clearly, they got many of us heterosexual males very excited. They seem to have pushed a few over the top.
On a serious note, in a country where more people vote for Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, and Survivor, then Congress and the President, what should we fucking expect?
4tehlulz: Yes. Go ahead and shoot him though.
gurukalehuru: Probably Pol Pot’s Cambodia. All weapons are weapons of mass destruction, and in the killing fields of Cambodia, the victims were clubbed.
Zhu Bajie
SkimLatteModerate: I was thinking the exact same thing when this run on dickheads shooting their fams got started. But, you know, the whole trainwreck of human civilization is a ratings boost, and newspixies got to feed their own fams.
What I propose is that the victims are emphasized over the hateful, selfish fuck who murdered them. Giving the killer airtime is like patting him on the back and telling all the other fucktards that that could be thems next on the teevee.
Dang, it’s too early to be spewing.
hoosiermama: I suggest that the shooter in these cases not be counted as a ‘victim’ and instead is referred to as the ‘Heston’.
Scandinavian Fetus: Whether you vote for Godzilla or Mechagodzilla or Space Godzilla for Congress/President, the results don’t matter much. School district elections, where you can actually change things a bit, usually get a lot of voters.
Athens chose all it’s officials by lottery. We Americans do far worse.
Zhu Bajie
America is a movie and the soundtrack is “In Bloom.”
… and the soundtrack is “Junior’s Got a Gun.”
… and the soundtrack is “Happiness is a Warm Gun” (yes it is).
I could go on.
If people would solve their problems by having buttsecks instead of with guns, the world would be a much, much hawter place.
I think the UN should look into this.
Nerdalicious: Yet another gun-availability crime. In other words, if the shooter hadn’t had a gun, it wouldn’t have happened. What lesson could we take from this, you wonder.
zhubajie: Space Godzilla is clearly the superior candidate. But yeah, the problem with democracy is that we’re voting on the people who actually want this power, thereby making them the least qualified people to actually hold it.
the good news is that shark attacks are way down.
Of course Jon Stewart mentioned Truck Nutz on the Daily Show last night. The story was about Republican crazy, and Wonkette is your source for Republican crazy™.
SayItWithWookies:
Are we even going to argue about this? C’mon, the dolphins have always been the best candidates for replacing us. They don’t go around killing each other because God genetically engineered them to have happy smiles on their faces. That and the fact they have larger brains than us.
Cape Clod: The descendants of the octopus and cuttlefish will battle for supremacy using giant multilimbed robots; the laser-armed dolphins won’t stand a chance.
I used to work for the TimesDaily. I was there during the 2004 election and plenty of people in the area believed a rumor that if elected, Kerry would confiscate their Bibles. Why, or more the point, how he would do that was never really an issue. Cling to religion and guns? Oh, hell yes.
V572625694:
That we should make guns even more available so that we can shoot back. Duh.
4tehlulz: I want to see that movie.
These sprees are heinous evidence of collective dreams cracking.
“Collective” because dreams are not the sole possession of the one having them, they are shaped, and yes the responsibility of a society. (American Dream, anyone? MLK’s ‘I have a dream,’ etc.) A loose reading of those committing these acts is that they “connect” with what they believe (falsely always) to be their controlling agents (e.g. police, immigrants, family, spouses). Sure, that’s crazy, but there ARE oppressors out there, though they’re never in the scene even if they are the ones truly responsible. It’s like child abuse: the abused don’t understand what is happening to them and they try to make sense of it with the only information available to them. Of course it isn’t just them, it’s all of us. It’s why abuse is so destructive. We’re all implicated. To think otherwise is to enter the Limbaugh bubble. Why be surprised older humans would behave any differently?
saradc: Many northerers move down there because it’s cheaper to live in the South.
Why don’t they just use knives? All that blood is good for tv ratings in Alabama, err I meant on FOX’s America.
saradc: Why do people move south? Because southerners love voting for tax breaks for the rich and the northern transplants have money (after all, they can afford to move).
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/04/four-people-were-shot-and-at-least-two-hospitalized-tuesday-night-at-a-korean-retreat-in-the-hills-east-of-temecula-and-inve.html
George Bush would say, “Alabams is a really neat continent to live in”.
Guppy06: Correction. Southerners don’t like taxes, period. We also don’t like paying for better health care, better schools, or a better environment. OTOH, we have great roads and lots of prisons.
Remember: these are all white trash/gun nut/Palin types. Even most rednecks stay away from Alabama.
Min: Having driven through several of your fair states regularly… no. South Carolina alone seems to have more crack sealant than asphalt. I’m sure once they run out of the stuff they’ll move to duck tape.
I’ll grant you the prisons, though. But nobody’s figured out how a private business can make money filling potholes like they can by running a prison.
4tehlulz: I live 5 minutes from where that happened. Lady was bat-shit insane. She left behind audio tapes and letters saying God told her she had to send her son to heaven and herself to hell to usher in 1000 years of peace on earth. She had a long history of mental illness. There are people who rabidly believe her right to a gun should be uninfringed even in light of what happened. That’s Florida for you.
Binghamton, Alabama; Tacoma, Alabama; Pittsburg, Alabama … yes, we in Alabama are backward and stupid. That’s why we are so different from civilized places like New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania.
Our backwardness and ignorance are why Alabama elected Michelle Bachman, Scott Garrett, and Bill Posey. That’s why we produced people like Randy “Duke” Cunningham, Dick Nixon, Tom Tancredo, Richard Pombo and Jerry Lewis. Yes, even Joseph Raymond McCarthy was a product of Alabama, wasn’t he … and Rick Man/Dog Santorum?
Maybe if the big out-of-state land-owners, like International Paper, Weyerhaeuser, Rayonier Woodlands and McMillan Bloedel, all visited our state and decided to start paying their fair share of taxes, we could drink something besides Starbucks coffee and get the really good stuff on the Internet to which civilized places have access.
Guppy06: Come to Tennessee. We have excellent roads, thanks to a prior governor with trucking interests and a powerful roadbuilder lobby.
:::Yawn:::
These stories are really boring - unless you include some interesting deals.
You know: the type of weapon used; specifics on the bullets or loadings; shot placement/groupings?
Did he use the traditional Weaver stance, or the modified Weaver, when he put the first round into his wife’s head?
Or did he “go wild,” and shoot off-hand when he did the baby?
Details! Details! Details! Have a little consideration for your audience, would you?
SayItWithWookies: Cats. Cats will take over the world next. Especially tuxedo cats — those sneaky short-haired dapper little black-and-white bastards. They’re already about 4/5 of the way there. Somehow, they have enslaved even *me* — proud, free wannabe rebel that I am — into giving several of them free room and board with zero household and financial responsibilities.
They may let a few of us live.
Someone has to fill those dishes.
But if they ever develop opposable thumbs (and they’re working on it … if mine were human, they’d be working as safecrackers) it’s curtains for us. We’ll be filling those dishes with our fresh muscle meat.
SayItWithWookies: Win!
May I just say as a (currently unemployed) reporter that that is one of the WORST ledes I have ever read in my life. Granted, it is Alabama and I suppose I should be grateful that it wasn’t worse… but with the number of papers laying off excellent reporters (not to mention editors), I can’t help but wonder how that clown reporter still has a job.
Every time there is some crazy multiple murder, the police come in and scarf up the weapons used in the slaughter and…keep them! For evidence, they say! Ha.
The plot is sick. Undercover commie rightwing nutjob radio and teevee talkers stoke up the fires so that the loons take their guns out of hiding. Then the shooting starts and the cops have a “right” to seize the guns. Crazy Glenn, Crazier Sean and Craziest Rush are will tools of Obama’s anti-gun crusade.
Crapola: Well, you have to give her credit for at least understanding she isn’t going to heaven for this.
Most child-killing mothers don’t quite figure that out.
I’ve seen that “THEY’LL BE MORE OF THESE STOREYS IN THE MEDIA TO MAKE IT SO THE GOVT CAN TAKE OUR GUNS!” argument in Retard Comments Sections on news sites many times. Quite a few Eastern Washingtonians made that their sole comment after that screwed-up Social Conservative Montana kid shot up the houseful of ravers.
Are they trying to say that there are actually *MORE* of these events than we hear about, that they’re actually common everyday occurrences, but the Evil Liberal Media is just really beating the drum about good ol’ everyday family annihilation all of a sudden, in a vile attempt to influence legislation????????? You know, like they always do with drug-related Moral Panic stories?
Boggles the mind and wounds the heart.
Where did all this Infinite Stupidity come from?
Chad San Marino: Oh, I remember the “Kerry’s gonna take our Bibles!” rumor. Oldie but goodie.
iolanthe: Did you ever see the series “Red Dwarf”? The only creature that could possibly be more vain, lazy, idiotic and self absorbed than a human would be a highly evolved cat.