Wonkette
- IOWAN-STYLE GAY MARRIAGE COMES TO VERMONT: Activist legislators have introduced mandatory gay marriage in the seat of our democracy, the tiny rural New England state of Vermont. With heterosexual marriage officially Under Peril, we will leave it to Vermont’s judges to enforce the will of the people. [AP]
I’m hopeful for a Children’s Treasury of Freeper responses compendium so that I don’t have to actually, you know, go to that site.
Being that I live directly across The Lake from said Vermont I am heartily looking forward to boarding the ferry and gay marrying my heterosexual husband. Twice. Mandatorily.
You should- You should quit traumatizing women with sexual intercourse… I should know… I’m a medical doctor… I own a mansion and a yacht… You should quit traumatizing women with sexual intercourse… I should know… I’m a medical doctor…
Advocatus_Diaboli: I am right this minute LISTENING to the bitters on a locally produced public radio show. “Dem democrats are gonna get voted right outta dere ya know dere buckshot”. I wish I could convey that “accent”….
Love the short, clauseless sentences - one to a paragraph. Either the AP is now hiring middle-schoolers to write copy, or someone was celebrating with the reporter’s business while he was typing.
Accordion-o-rama: AP outsourced all their shit to India years ago.
This is great news for Ben and Jerry.
Damn hippie Bennington libruls just had to go and get all buttsecksy in Montpelier. Truly, this is a portent of the end times, which will culminate with Zach Wamp and Piyush Jindal swearing their all-emcompassing love for each other.
Too cold for Christian haters. So, what is the number of states needed to hit the tipping point where the Feds will have to weigh in on recognition of interstate laws regarding civil unions?
Now Vermont is showing up California too? Ugh. Actually, this might be a good idea. If Bible Belt States really want to stick it to liberal elitist California, they should legalize gay marriage just to prove that they CAN. It’s just confusing enough to work. That’s right, Alabama, show how much better you are than California by legalizing gay marriage. You know you want to.
This is what comes from letting that rogue state …Iowa… legislate at will.
So how long before Ben & Jerry’s creates a flavor to mark the occasion?
Burt and Ernie’s Maple Nut Crunch
Rainbow Lollipop Licker
Harvey Milk Chocolate
Green Mountain Fudge
i think i’m going to turn heterosexual. being gay is becoming too popular.
sevenrepeat: Are you sure you want to run the risk of thinking that the Blonde Charity Mafia is attractive?
OMG I just made my first visit to FR.com. Seriously, WTF?
Mild Midwesterner: Win!
Coffee Clutcher 187: WIN! Also. And I’ll add mine:
Wide-Stance White Chocolate
Brokeback Berry Swirl
Crow T. Robot: Rabbitschenia! “Vurst case I’ve evah zeen….”
Today, we are all activist judges.
So now will the Christianists go to the courts to try to get the Vermont law declared unconstitutional?
The earthquake in Italy was God’s retribution for this abominazione.
You make it sound like everyone in Vermont will be forced to gay marry. But that’s not true. That’s a gross exaggeration. That’s a misrepresentation of the new law. In fact, only Christians will be forced to gay marry. Muslims will still have the option of following Sharia law, which prohibits the practice.
But this shit is kinda good news for Repub politicians, because if gays can marry, then that’s one less reason to hate republicans, and one less thing separating them from Dems. Now all they need is to make sense in some way, and they could be back on top!*
*Not in the gay way.
Ha,ha California, now Vermont is more gay sexy than you, also. Maybe Vermont and its gay partner, Iowa, can adopt you.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Man on Mango
sevenrepeat: I was just sitting here in Seattle thinking “I hope I can’t get gay married in Seattle because that sounds like something rednecks do.” I’m going back in the closet. Apparently that’s hip now.
Kev-O-Tron: That’s what I mean. If marriage is gonna be for everybody, people are gonna have to start calling a fag like WAY more often, just so this feels like America.
ronaldpagan: Banana Slippery Slope? Two Tux Nuts?
Thanks to these activist librul… legislators? Anyway, thanks to those guys, Vermont will look like this in a matter of weeks: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01022007
rmontcal:
Fools walk in where angels fear to tread.
ronaldpagan: Oh, Mango-on-Boysenberry Love.
I have to get gay married again?! How will I afford all the babies I can’t have because of the hawt buttsecks?
I’m good with it, as long as they don’t go overboard and start letting the Irish marry normal people.
SayItWithWookies: And Lychee Lesbian.
eastcoastliberal: LOL, I spent 5 years in Plattsburgh. Loved it but could never figure out why all the locals called me either “buckshot” or “jimmy”.
Jesus will punish Vermont by taking away all their TruckNutz in the TruckNutz Rapture, starring Kirk Cameron.
Serolf Divad: Thank god you were here to explain that! I almost made a terrible mistake. I was just telling my wife we would have to get a divorce, move to Iowa, and listen to techno until someone found us attractive…which in my case could have taken some time. Thanks for clearing it up in time.
Advocatus_Diaboli:
You forgot the Lesbian Flavors-
Cunilingonberry Swirl
Raspberry Butch
Chocodyke Chunk
Vanilla Strap-On Surprise
Crow T. Robot: Bwahaha! Things are speeding up here at the end!
Vermonters should be worried. I was straight married here in Massachusetts last year, and any day now I expect The State to break down my door and force my wife and me to get gay married to other people—possibly one of those ethics! I don’t know what to do, except pray that Mittens returns triumphantly to Boston to clean this mess up.
Coffee Clutcher 187: “Harvey Milk Chocolate” is full of win
God will smite these Vermonters by visiting them with a plague of Moravian fruit flies that will devour their maple trees and turn the sweet sap to serpent bile.
Tommmcatt: Vanilla T-girl Surprise. Also
Kev-O-Tron: instead of “national coming out day” we should start a “national back in the closet day” and celebrate by wearing sweat pants, watching footskertaball and scratching our acorns.
Noodle Salad: Pop Yer Cherry?
masterdebater:
Yes, now your wife just has to don a Burkha and you two are set.
Okrahoma’s gay marriage-banning constitution saves me a ton of money. I refuse to give wedding gifts until the day my lesbian daughter can get married, legally. If everyone would adopt this new etiquette rule of mine, brides and their annoying mothers would be marching for gay rights, just to get all the expensive shit they register.
Phish will have a very hectic concert schedule this year.
Tommmcatt: Advocatus_Diaboli: Mild Midwesterner: Megadildos Win!
Iowa, Vermont, and DC Just decided to Recognize (which I guess is like decriminalization)
BOO-YA
I just checked out Town Hall, it is a mess.
Bah! Unless and until some legislature has the balls to pass a law requiring a hot guy to be my gay married husband, with stiff penalties for failing to put out for the buttsecks, what good does it do me?
Larry McAwful: Turn or BURN, Breeder!
twowheeljunkie: maybe Tutti-Frutti T-girl swirl?
Coffee Clutcher 187: Mustachio? Rim Raisin?
As far as its effect on life here in Georgia, this ranks with the French banning headscarves in public schools. Interesting, but not likely to have much effect on our lives, at least not until Nate Silver’s gay math turns Georgia gay in 2019.
Gayer Than Thou: Also, if Wonkette doesn’t take that shirtless picture of Carrot Top down soon, I may have to go straight anyway because that image is making my homosexual-sized hypothalamus hurt.
rmontcal: OMG I just made my first visit to FR.com. Seriously, WTF?
I know, man. “Fish’s Reversal of $1.5 Billion Verdict Against Microsoft Named to “Top 10 Litigation Wins of 2008″ by IP Law & Business” FTW!!
Tommmcatt: Fools walk in where angels fear to tread.
Both of their futures, so full of dread, you don’t show one
Shedding off one more layer of skin,
Keeping one step ahead of the persecutor within
Best Freep comment ever:
“I await the volcanoes, the tsunamis, the hurricanes and hopefully, the destruction of Vt and its pacifist secular socialism by the Lord. I actually do want it to happen with good Americans being protected as we see in the OT, when God protects believers that do good and trust the Lord. Since VT doesn’t seem to believe in the Biblical God or His standards, perhaps a nice lesson in humility would be a nice taste of God’s wrath. Oh I know, that is sooooo cruel.”
Really? Volcanoes, tsunamis and hurricanes? In Vermont? Or will god’s aim be a shitty as usual?
smashtheduck: “Or will god’s aim be a shitty as usual?”
In fairness, he’s a long way away and it’s a tiny planet. Also, I hear he throws like a girl.
smashtheduck: I await this freeper’s early death from a saturated fat-filled diet, stress from hating so many people and a life filled with fear of the strange & unknown (i.e. fun.)
hobospacejunkie: Self-inflicted gun shot wounds work just as well. (ie. just as funny)
Okay, you deviously funny bastards (and bastiches), have made me stop lurking with your defamation of my pole, pol, and poll loving state of VT.
Dirty Sanchez Swirl? Hot Carl Caramel? Ginger Amyl Nitrate Snap?
Anyway, just so you know, I would hit all of the BCMuffia. Anyone, non-VT-generated-gayness aside, who doesn’t admit it is lying. I mean, srsly, you guys get all hate-effed up about Michelle Bachman…
Also, digga digga dee, mooselimb!!!1!!!
-A