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MORE TIME TO READ YOUR WONKETTE!Ooh, they've released the March Jobs Report, let's see whats we gots here... GAHH! It's terrible. We must be in a recession! 663,000 jobs were slashed last month, and the unemployment rate rose to 8.5% while the secret "real" unemployment rate rose to 15.6%. Weekly initial jobless claims rose from 657,000 to 669,000 in the largest increase since October 1982. [ AP , CNN ]