Wonkette
This is what it was like in Soviet USSR Russia, we bet! The guy, on the teevee, every night. Five year plans, advancing upon the enemy stronghold, great progress made in the Martian Dirt Wars, etc. We don’t know FOR SURE about this, as we arrived in the USSR about two weeks after it officially ended — this is true! — and by then it was all tits & death metal on the RUBIN black-and-white set. Anyway, is the recession over yet? Has Komrade Obama talked it away, while his douche-bots in the East Room try to act like they understand anything beyond do-nuts and Twitter?
8:23 PM — Your Jim Newell’s LiveBlogging is right here, but now it is done, until I am done.
8:24 PM — Budgets. Will they become larger, or smaller? Deficits: bigger, or littler? WHO WILL WIN.
8:25 PM — Where does this guy think he is, the White House? Way to dress your set, Indonesian.
8:25 PM — Remember when it was exciting to hear him speak, at the Nuremberg Rallies?
8:26 PM — “Ask a Mexican.”
8:27 PM — Hey smarty jones did you know that if recreational drugs were LEGAL in the United States, that would sort of “help” the Mexican Government, too?
8:27 PM — Honestly, when you run for/take public office in this country, do you have to trade in your fucking brain, by law?
8:28 PM — Gavin Newsom covers the White House for Stars & Stripes? Nice work, greaseball.
8:29 PM — We bet that American Idol show would be pretty fun about now. It has singing, right? Let’s heal through song, and some gal with her ass hanging out her rhinestone thong.
8:30 PM — John McCain is a student of the procurement process. He is a … what is that term, for the old people who “audit” college classes? Loser Learner? What are they called? What they do, we know, is show up to RUIN the education of our interns. They generally want to talk about gypsies or the Holocaust or the Depression or whatever, talky talky talk.
8:31 PM — Ed Henry! Is this the Daily Show guy?
8:32 PM — Oh wait this is the worm from CNN, never mind. Was there a guy like this …. uh never mind, what about your DAUGHTERS, Obama, hennghhh?
8:33 PM — Could we have an intermission, some Stevie Wonder or whatever?
8:34 PM — Oh babies guess what, your editor’s comrade and former co-worker and even a former editor of this very site, Mister Choire Sicha, got him a fancy Book Deal today, or it was announced today. Huzzah! It is, like everything, about the Depression.
8:35 PM — Here is Hammy J. Nolan’s post about it, on Gawker. Also check out the NYO article, which uses JIM NEWELL’S photo, which he took and used for JOURNALISM here at WONKETTE, yet it is credited to “Gawker.com,” which is a porn site.
8:38 PM — “President Obama why didn’t you condemn the AIG bonuses before they happened, mmmhmmm?”
8:39 PM — Oh Michele Bachmann demanded that Bernanke, today, promise not to give up the US DOLLAR for the New World Order China-Russian Global Currency Token, and yeah he was all, “I promise.”
8:40 PM — Mike Allen, of the “The Politico,” oh what a cunt this guy is, look at him, and if you’ve got a heterosexual penis it will get a little hard, looking at that.
8:41 PM — Ha we are just kidding, obviously, not even a jailed sex criminal would get an erection over that.
8:41 PM — You know who should be here right now, liveblogging? Sara K. Smith.
8:42 PM — BRB, going to open a (new) bottle of (French) wine, and maybe look for some matches, to burn down the house.
8:44 PM — Tent Cities!
8:44 PM — It is just absolutely fucking absurd that there are Tent Cities in America when there are, literally, tens of thousands of vacant, move-in ready tract homes sitting vacant, and cities are paying millions to patrol these places, board up the windows, keep the Jawas from stealing the plumbing copper, etc. Open those goddamned houses and put these families in these vacant houses, now. Good god, do you people need angry BLOGGERS to tell you this?
8:47 PM — The lady from ABC Radio is surprised — so surprised, in fact, that all she’s got is an Inaugural Day question about race. Obama, the black president, tells her maybe we’ll talk about that later.
8:48 PM — Hey the wingnut from the Washington Times also has an important economic question, about Stem Cells! Mr. (black) President, could you refute the evidence that your executive order reversing the Bush stem cell bullshit actually caused not only the housing bubble and current economic collapse that started two years ago, but also both the original Great Depression and the cancellation of teevee’s Golden Girls?
8:49 PM — America’s television stations/networks are LOSING MONEY while you fart-tubes mumble about Stem Cells.
8:52 PM — Agence France Press! These dudes are great. Your editor’s tabloid news site, from long ago (Tabloid.net!), couldn’t get an AP feed at the time (the ’90s), the AP was against the internet, but AFP came through.
8:53 PM - (And then, years after the website in question had ended its contract and quit publishing anything, these French scumsacks tried to collect tens of thousands of dollars from your editor, employed at that point by UPI, in Washington. History!)
8:54 PM — If this crap goes on much longer, your editor is going to start reciting dirty jokes he heard at youth hostels in Ireland.
8:56 PM — “Hey lazy what’s his name, why have you not solved Middle East already? I’ll take my answer off the air.”
8:57 PM — It’s over, thank the god of Hawaiians (St. Shark of Maui).
8:58 PM — And now the jabbering jack-pigs will do their talky talk. Good god Campbell Brown is HUGE. How many babies is she having? John King has an interactive chart.
8:59 PM — Fuck these tards.
9:00 PM — You know who else should be fed into a sausage grinder, to feed America’s hungry rats(TM)? All these MSNBC people. Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews. No more of this.
9:01 PM — They are just doing “their job,” etc., as we are, so maybe it’s not “fair,” etc. Eh. Newell, are we done? Can I go sit outside and stare numbly at the fence for a while?
Communism may kill, but it’s T-shirt designs are fantastic!
8:27 PM — Hey smarty jones did you know that if recreational drugs were LEGAL in the United States, that would sort of “help” the Mexican Government, too?
Wait, what? wouldn’t that just increase demand and profits for the Mexican drug lords?
Has our Ken Layne been replaced by a Reason Magazine bot?
Jeebus Ken, feeling cranky? But yeah, stop rambling on about budgets, please. And give us the legal weed so the brown people won’t die anymore.
The wingnuts were right!!!1!! He’s taken over all the media!!! He’s on EVERY fucking channel on basic teevee!!! Gaaaa!!!!1
Hey, he took a “shot” at the gun nuts for arming those Mehskins.
that shirt is red-n-black like our communist president! purty.
Mr. President, are you jealous of the fact that Andrew Cuomo gets all the chicks?
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE KIDZ??!!!!
wow the questions are douche-y and useless today.
ed henry should be delivered of his genitals. he is a useless prick.
Let’s see, how many variations of “what will our children think about the deficit” can the White House press corps come up with? I count 4 so far.
cranky: Win.
“Of course I worry, Ed, you asshole.”
Oh dear fucking GAWD! A do you worry about your daughters question?!?! I hate these fucktards.
Can you ask a real fucking question please, or are you just going to reiterate the same one over and over and over……
jagorev: Michelle is much hotter than that bottle-blonde bimbo Sandra Lee.
Ed Henry is following up on Tapper and Chip? Is that really necessary? I think Tapper and Chip and Chuck have been douche-y enough for one press conference.
cranky: hahaha
OK it’s obvious these guys write their questions down in advance. Fine, you don’t wanna blow it and stumble on prime time TV and you can’t afford a TelePrompTer.
But can’t you write more than ONE question, just in case your question gets asked by someone else first?????
So we don’t have to have CBS douche say “what will our children THINK?” and then two questions later the same question is asked again?
IDIOTS.
Is it me or are all these reporters asking basically the same questions? It’s like the Special Olympics of presidential press conferences.
Barry has answered the same fuckwit question 4 times. Fuck yourself duffus press corp. There’s not one hot reporter chic in the room. Barry must be bored shitless.
ooooooooo….Ed Henry was served!
Obama just slapped that dude, y’all. “That’s what I’m talkin bout”
“It took a couple of days because I like to know what I’m talking about.”
Fucking win.
COMUNISSSS!!!!11!1!!
SOCIALISSSS!!!!!
He has yet to address my key issue. When are we going to stop embalming dead bodies and placing them in giant, sealed thermoses so they’ll be around for hundreds of years? When!??!11!!?
Also, about those jobs everyone needs…
FOX NEWS is repeating Michele Bachman’s talking points!!!!
YAY!
oh snap. “i like to know what i’m talking about before I speak. Next.”
ooh… BURN. “I like to know what I’m talking about when I speak.”
Cookie Guggelman: In the great tradition of NY AGs (Spitzer, Giuliani, etc.), I can only assume that Cuomo is celebrating his “victory” over AIG tonight by cheating on his wife with a five-star transvestite gay hooker.
When he comes on strong, as in why we should do something about this fucking mess the Repugs and congressional dems created, he sounds esp. smart but calm.
Oh, snaps. Like to know what I”m talking about. Put that douche in his place.
The guy asking about China is trying to sound smart. Shit, he’s another douche. Were in a shit pile here, people.
more pauses than usual here….
Hey, The Fox news guy got “Communist” and “Socialist” in the same question
imissopus: Oooo, I feel a retraction coming…
teebob2000: and his not-so-subtle way of saying…last question YOU ever get!
i have to give barry a ton of credit for standing in front of that room of assclowns.
“what do you think your daughters would think about an international currency? are your daughters chinamen?”
It’s amazing that NOObama has all of these answers on the TEleprOMtper. ITS A PLOT BY ACORN!!!!1!!!1!!!!
Barry is dreamy!
Oh fuck no. Not Mike Allen. No, no, no. The smell of ass will never leave my television set!
what an alternative universe with this fucking global currency shit. the gap between is insurmountable you freaks.
generally, worst press conference EVER.
It’s the douchebags all-stars tonight.
demtard: Yeah, but he couldn’t keep it straight on 60 Minutes; I’d love to see him do a big chuckle at some of these questions/questioners, but he’s probably just getting pissed.
Fuck, yes, cap tax deductions for charitable giving. Donate that 3 million dollar painting to the d**damn museum because it warms the cockles of your heart.
Yeah, sure. Let’s cut government spending to the bone, ignore opportunities to address energy, health care and education and let the economy crash to the point where everyone is living in cardboard boxes by the river. THEN our children won’t have to worry about the deficit. Oh, wait — there won’t be any children — they would have all STARVED to death.
nice way to make the 39/28 real
if it’s really charity quit yer bitchin’
the fact that the press has confused being a prick with being good has been a problem for a while. last time around, barry had them off center. they have regained their footing and have returned to useless douchieness.
He’s back on the cripples again. Geez!
The editors mind is wandering. Drunk already? I wish I were. The disaster has had two decent questions. The reporters are ignorant as rocks. I would flunk them. They hate this president guy because he is smart and they are worthless parasites.
I like it when he finally gets bored and starts slapping these fucks around. Always in his smart guy way, of course. They don’t get he’s way smarter than they are?
teebob2000: Yeah, some of these dudes’ balls every time Barry slaps ‘em down.
Goddamn elitist muslin preznit!!! Thinks bus drivers make $50K. In his little socialist world, maybe.
you know the only charity that Politico douche has contributed to, is the local whores on Craiglist
he’s starting to get his mojo back…
This dude Barry O’Bama is great. Let’s get rid of this democracy shit and make him dictator.
We intend to place homeless families in the homes of members of Congress.
A brotha, FINALLY!!! He gots relatives in Tent City, under the bridge!!
that’s twice now I’ve heard Barry’s voice go up an octave. I think he’s a little pissed with these assholes.
All you need to know: Dogface-Man David Gregory is the king of these ass-hat reporters. Why haven’t all these dipshits been laid off already?
Wait, they let black reporters from black magazines into the White House press conferences nowadays? This didn’t happen in Richard Cohen’s day.
Hey, Ann!
Where was Dave Chappelle from?
Anne, whassup?
What — nobody’s EVER called on Ann Compton before, EVER??
How can you leave a debt? How can you raise taxes? Over and over. It’s like Faye Dunaway and Jack Nicholson in Chinatown.
hopey has remarkable self restraint, i would have punched each of these dumb bitches already.
ABC radio asks: “did you know you’re black, mr president?” what is this bullshit?!?!?!?
” . . . black, brown, and white.”
He left out the Yellows, the Bitters, and the Gays! Sexist!
teebob2000:
Prez to Ed Henry: “I like to know what I’m talking about when I speak”. Complete annihilation of the 4 asshole question askers. Lesson: Don’t mess with Frank Sinatra. Cool is King (Prez)
I just felt a searing go up my legacy!
Ann Compton with a question about race. Barry gives her a polite slap down.
Politico got called on. They will be filled with pride.
Ah, now we’re on to race and stem cells. Fuck the economy.
Looks like the Washington Times douchenozzle’s never worn a tie or combed his hair before.
“Why do you like to kill babies, muslin???”
Ask the Washington Times guy how Liz Glover is.
if he says “it’s hard” one more time we’re going to have Bush/Obama montages on Youtube
randomsausage: I’m not sure Craigslist whores would stoop to serving Mike Allen of Politico. They do have some standards, you know.
We’ve gotten to the useless “miscellaneous” section of questions no one gives a shit about. LOOK, yes, Barry “wrestles” a lot with a lot of shit. He’s wrestling with all of y’all’s stupid-ass Special Olympics questions right now.
Why did none of these dirt bags mention the deficit when Jr. Bush was pretend president?
Stem Cells. Can abortion be far behind?
Ebony got in a question.
Embrionic stem cells taste like beluga caviar.
oh, fer GAWDSAKES, not stem cell research… WHERE THE FUCK DO THEY FIND THESE PRESSTARDS??
Commie baby killer B. HUSSEIN Obama
Barry’s race answer will surely anger Tavis Smiley - he is throwing a chair somewhere!
the moonies get a question in!
“I waited a few days because I like to know what I am talking about”
Dayamm straight.
(not that I agree with what Barry and Tim are doing with AIG and banks, but that another matter)
I hope the big O cold cocks these dimwits more often.
Okay, not Obama goes all soft on them…
No, the stem cell question is not a good question, it is an idiot question.
Why does no one wrestle with the deep morality of in vitro fertilization.
Let’s lie to ourselves: Just more cuddly snowflake kiddies for the future…
And, the reporter was WRONG about the relative merit of adult stem cells.
The reporters are dolts, or liars.
This question about stem cells has him slowed down to about 3 words a minute.
jagorev: Richard Cohen does not care for those black reporters with their questions and their hip-hop.
The Washington Times guy is a dick.
Middle east? Do they have problems there?
teebob2000: win
WTF’s this-here “sigh-unts” malarchy he keeps talking about?? George W Bush never talked that magic crap before.
Mr. President: Will you let the scientists take over and turn us all into a race of robot clone abortionists?
Hey! the foreign dude is actually WAY SMARTER than our mouthbreathing shithead White House Press Corps.
Obama: “Stem-cells are my favorite cereal. Next question.”
A froggy! And Ken’s chug-a-lugging French wine. It’s Kismet!
BTW–Would Dubya ever call on a foreigner without making some lame, offensive joke about the country the represent?
Foreign dude: Thank you for getting the questions out of this f****d up country. The country was just about to slit it’s collective wrist. I bow to you.
The foreigner’s question just proves Barry’s point about the state of our education system.
OMG Barry isn’t giving unconditional praise for Israeli leaders - he says we’ll have to wait and see! This will be turned into an accusation of Liberal Fascist anti-Semitism by Jonah Goldberg of the NRO in 3… 2…
Wow, see that “bump” under Barry’s jacket? Nah, me either.
lmj: And, the reporter was WRONG about the relative merit of adult stem cells.
C’mon — the guy’s from the Washington Times; whaddya expect from a fucking Moonie???
lmj: they’re moonies. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Washington_Times should explain all.
My God, it is so nice to see an intelligent, thoughtful, and prepared President stand before the press. Instead of a smirking, smart-assed dry drunk who relies on his gut feelings and the voices in his head to make decisions so he can show his family how great he finally became.
manimal alert!
Wow, a question about a perplexing problem that’s been with us for decades. Who let an actual reporter into the room?
Hey, America, don’t give up! Climb every mountain!
By now, his lungs are screamin’ for the smooth taste of a Camel.
‘Naughty problems?’ Is B. Clinton back again? …okay, ‘knotty problems’
Barry’s the little engine that could, what with all the persistence and shit.
“We’re inheriting naughty problems” Didn’t Spitzer resign?
Holy God this is embarrassing for the media. Seriously, “reporters”, whatthefuckingfuck? I wish these a-holes would hurry up and go bankrupt already….
Seriously, IT IS NOT THAT HARD, THIS REPORTING THING. IT IS ACTUALLY VERY EASY.
“I’m a big believer in persistence.”
This is quite literally the most unAmerican thing he has ever said. If America is about anything, it’s about instant gratification.
Is David Axelrod chewing gum?! I hope he brought enough for everybody!
RAHM!! he’s fantasizing about which reporter he’s going to barbecue after the press conference is over!
I wish they’d do a picture-in-picture with a little zoom-in on Rahm the entire time. I’ll bet he’s got some great faces for these idiots.
Thank you, CNN, for that close-up on Rahm (Although I’m curious what he’s doing with that finger…)
TAKE-AWAY: America is not a speedboat, you dumb bitches.
WadISay: Michelle just sparked up the hookah pipe for him.
“Thanks, everybody, drive safely.”
Nerdalicious: This is further proof that we should just call up the Queen and ask her to take us back. Really, we didn’t mean that whole revolution thing. We love tea and Benny Hill, really!
David Gregory: tELEpROMPtER!!!!!
Also.
Does he ever long to scream, “How the fuck did you morons get yourselves dressed this morning?” Or, as my friend said years ago when she flunked practice teaching (when the teacher walked in to hear her yell) “If you kids weren’t so stupid, you’d get his!”
And still AMC didn’t get to ask a question.
Compton had her surprise, Maybe it’ll be Ana Marie’s turn next time.
Hell Yes! Rahm is on Larry King Live tonight!
I’m watching MSNBC, and that is even worse than the presser.
They say the ’sharp point’ of the conference was why so long before Obama damned the fat cats. Hopeless knuckleheads are informing the nation.
I think Rahmmy was prepping his tire iron.
Country Club Jihadi: Also, the economy is not a truck. It’s a series of tubes.
Now, I am yearning to hear Bobby Jindal chirp and squeak for 15 minutes.
Shot of the entire cabinet in the back row surrounding Prez with luv. America is now the luv boat, a bunch of washed up actors turning into a bunch of alcoholics. Chuck Todd, Jake Crapper & Chip Reid thinks we don’t have it bad enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_wFEB4Oxlo
It’s thePaco: It’s the Titanic!!
After 8 years of no challenge, the press has met its match!
President Obama: “THANK YOU D.C. - GOODNIGHT!”
(*crowd chants O-BA-MA O-BA-MA O-BA-MA as that chick mexican reporter tosses her moist panties at the podium*)
proudgrampa: win
Seriously….town halls stacked with Bush supporters ask more pertinent and insightful questions than this lot.
On whose doorstep do I leave a flaming sack of dog poop to express my disapproval?
OzoneTom: Why not Helen?? Does Obama hate the old?
Rahm is on Larry King LIve? How many seconds will the tape delay be?
I’m joining Rachel and Keith. I’m not a lesbian, so I don’t need Campbell Brown to smile at me.
Thanks Tweety. Dead on. I hope.
The chic on CNN.com live feed is clearly drunk! Listen to her — she sounds like she’s had a three martini lunch!
WonkaBee: Does that mean our sacrifice is listening to more Celine Dion? ‘Cause I can’t do that. Sorry, America.
Was there one question about the substance of the bailout proposal?
I didn’t hear it. Goofball reporters too clueless to even ask anything?
Did I miss it?
I guess more important to go “So why didn’t you run out and behead a banker as soon as you know, if your REALLY CARED, you muslin?”
Country Club Jihadi: Actually, since Michelle got him to give up smoking, I bet he and Rahm have to sneak out the back for a quick cig when she’s not looking.
DustBowlBlues: 6000 seconds, and a [censored] bar to cover his mouth…
Tweety on fire! Go Chris go!
I was really hoping Obama would drop the mic to the ground and walk off the stage as though he were Chris Rock.
Also, did anyone else get the feeling that Barry was having flashbacks to when he was teaching and wanted to halt the press conference and ask, “Did any of you do the fucking reader for today?” Of course, the foreign journalist to raise his hand. Barry would then say, “Fuck this, they don’t pay me enough. I’ll see your lazy asses at office hours” and then he’d peace the fuck out.
Ken, you seemed very bored! Are you losing your hopeyness? I know he did not realize a single promise, like turning us into a communist muslin country.
Tweety Bird loves this guy and I love Chrissy, also. The reporters were zombies–great. I always secretly like Chris Matthews. CNN is so out of touch.
DustBowlBlues: I don’t know about Hopey, but I think that every single day. At least the LA-based jackasses have an excuse…covering Lindsay Lohan practically requires a lobotomy. But these are supposed to be the actual reporter people, in our nation’s capital.
Seriously, it’s hard to believe how angry I am right now. We finally get a President who regularly does press conferences and you jackasses are screwing it all up. I’m glad I don’t live in DC so I’m not tempted to lob Molotov cocktails at various media skyscrapers.
no Helen Thomas: I guess the Prez prefers talking to idiots at pressers. Probably some PR strategy.
Obama’s advisors made him do it. Whatever.
Anyway, too bad.
WadISay: …and maybe a cigarette, also! also.
assistant/atlas: win 2x
Country Club Jihadi: When I saw the first word, I assumed “Bachmann” — always ready for some baby-farmer snark, yet it was still funny as I got to the end of the sentence after which I backtracked and read it in the context of the “real” Michelle.
I would’ve enjoyed being in one of his classes. Now he’s the professor instructing a whole nation of knuckleheads…
DustBowlBlues: Tweety knows that Chipchucktapper feeds on BRAINS. He’s just trying to warn the public.
comradepaulson:
And now for something completely different………..
Maybe the WH strategy is to exhaust the jackasses with all these press things.
the big O will cold cock them randomly and then make them sit through long answers with weird esoteric stuff in them like “facts” and “reasoning” when the reporter dolts were all like just shat out a “question”.
Pretty soon they won’t answer.
Obama: ‘Bueller…. Bueller….. Bueller….?”
It probably would have helped if they had allowed some journalists from the WSJ and the FT to ask questions. Honestly, as long as you ignore the WSJ editorial page, those two papers have some of the best journalists on staff, and actually know what they’re talking about when it comes to finance. Ditto Bloomberg, and maybe the Economist.
I mean, if you’re going to hold a press conference about the economy and let Jake Tapper and his fellow Villagers ask all the question, what the hell do you think is going to happen?
I blame Obama for this debacle.
Hannity: “MISTER PRESADDENT, WHY ARE YOU A COMANIST aAND WY DO YOU HATE MURKA??1?”
Barry: “Sit the fuck down moran, or I’ll have Cuomo give you a mouth full of bloody chicklets. Who let the Downs syndrome guy in here? Next assclown! ”
lmj: I’m tired of Helen. She dogged Bush, her service to the country is done. Now she can go back to sleep.
jagorev: For years now, I’ve advocated letting responsible adults like ME get a ‘grow license’ so I can legally make my own weed, just like I currently make my own bread, beer and (also-legal) porn; at the same time, I’d punish sales of ANY part of the hemp plant - except seeds & stalks (for industrial uses) - with something short of serving a-year-or-three as Lush Limpball’s ‘poolboy’/toenail-trimmer… so, am I out of my mind or just high as a kite?
Actually, it could be part of a strategy. By letting douches like Tapper dominate the presser, Obama makes himself look smart and makes his questioners look like dumbasses (which they are). A WSJ or Bloomberg guy would probably ask something substantive and unpredictable, which would certainly cause your American voters (who did, after all, elect Maxine Waters and Michelle Bachmann) to lose interest, and also create a far higher risk of him tripping up on his answer.
Prez: Big ideas, Big brain. The 4 asshole question askers must have sounded like gnats buzzing around. Prez should apply citronella before he speaks to these fleas.
jagorev: This could have been a Rahmmy-inspired set-up to get Barry a little cooked up, which it appears he was. There was no smiley-smiley like with Kroft on 60m.
Tell Chuck Grassley that the charitable contributions change he is railing against haven’t gone into effect. But for some strange reason charities are already suffering from a decrease in giving and an increase in demand.
Hmmm… could Barry be right that the overall economy might have more to do with it than loopholes?
If Campbell Brown goes to Nantucket, she will get harpooned.
Had to switch over to Olbermann–Fats Bennett always turns my stomach.
jagorev: This was my thought, but I could not articulate it as well as you just did. Let the douches ask the questions and you look smart.
I think the press is still getting used to a president who talks in complete sentences; it has been a while.
They’ll adapt. Soon they’ll be asking really important questions like “boxers or briefs?”, “What is Oprah really like?” Can’t wait.
What I’m really trying to say is:
Can we, as a nation, please do something about Jake Tapper? I’m thinking dismemberment, or boiling in tar, or random bloody beatings administered daily, but I’d settle for a 90% tax on his earnings. It’s the least we can do to alleviate our national shame.
I was smiling to myself when Ann Compton reminded the Prez that he was….wait for it…Black…and asked if he…wait for it…spent his days and night thinking of ways to help Black people — because Lord knows that no other ethnic group in this country could possibly be on the Prez’s mind as he tries to prevent the whole freakin’ country from going over the financial cliff. I guess I can only take solace in the fact that this question wasn’t asked by a genuine Black person, or I would write them a letter to take their “Black card” away. Although, I’m pretty sure that Tavis Smiley will be convening another State of the Black Union forum just so he can “address” how the Prez has no intent on helping Black people, but instead has a secret plan to ship us out of the country.
jagorev: I agree that the existence of Jake Trapper is one of the most serious issues facing the nation.
Where my Jindal Rebuttal liveblog at, dog?
charitable contributions flap: ante hoc ergo propter hoc.
It’s elementary, except for liberals who are into junk science.
Grassley was just dropping some science on our asses, thats all.
Barry knew, he’s read that stuff in them law books.
lawchic: How about you & I book our trip as a romantic cruise to Tahiti? Once we’re done there, it’s just a non-stop to Paris on AirFrance!
All in all, worst American Idol evah
Mr Blifil: I wanna see if he flaps his gums about volcano monitoring now that we got genuine eruptions on that front.
stew:
Apparantly eating his way to Limbie Territory, as in can’t fly on commercial airplanes. This is why Limbie has to make 50 mil a year, so he can buy his own jet and fly ( although he does fly frequently on oxycontin, as observed at CPAC)
Monsieur Grumpe: Yeah, gads, what a relief, from:
Reporter: Question designed to get past talking point.
Preznit: Non-responsive talking point, in a 10 monosylabic words sentence, leer, smirk.
Reporter: Follow up question.
Preznit: I ain’t takin’ no follow up questions.
comradepaulson: I grew up in Louisiana - can we be wine-swilling, snail-eating surrender monkeys again, please?
jagorev: Hey! I like Maxine Waters - she brings the angry in-your-face black woman flava to the chickenshits on The Hill, and gives more ‘temperate’ voices maneuvering room, since they can say, “Look, do you want to deal with us, or with Maxine“?
Bearbloke: I’m in! I love cruises and I have never been to Paris
assistant/atlas: i took a few journalism classes. i stopped because they were dumber than psych and business school professors/students.
comradepaulson: Oh, how I wish I had gotten one of those CPUSA T-shirts back in 1982! The black one with the bold white letters reading “I was born in the sewer called capitalism, but I’m living for the Revolution now!” (Sigh, shrug, sigh)
DustBowlBlues: What does she expect after she tried to trick Barry into confirming the rumor about Zionist nookuler capabilities when he called on her the last time?
Man, my connection is slooow. Blame it on M$ deciding to patch my install of Windows BOB to 64-bit Vista on my 9600 baud connection this very night.
lawchic: Wonderful! It’ll be great… just you and me and my current wives - a great buncha gals, once you get to know them - we can all get married/sealed to each other on the Lido deck!
Romney/Hatch 2012!
OzoneTom: You mean the ‘rumor’ that’s been common knowledge since 1988?
The First Rule of the Israeli Nuclear Arsenal: Do NOT talk about the Israeli Nuclear Arsenal!
The Second Rule of the Israeli Nuclear Arsenal: Do not talk about the Israeli Nuclear Arsenal!
Fuck, I missed the entire thing because my Nets was disfunctioned. Probably the European Union censoring dangerous American propaganda about wealth creation and reducing deficits. I missed myself tonight. So, was B Hussein Telepromter good? Will the stock markets rally, or hold an all-night candle vigil, or send a get well soon America card?
OzoneTom: Is M$ uploading 51/4 floppies to your box over that line, also?
wheelie: “we’ve always been at war with EU”
“we’ve always been at war with EU”
“we’ve always been at war with Eastasia”
I missed the entire fucking thing. Goddammit. America has an inherent bias against the West Coast.
WadISay:
Ever think of getting a job writing speeches (Speechification) for Republicans with low I Q’s? Is that redundant? Either way, I hear there might be some openings but if you have any sense of irony or morality you might have to put a bullet in your brain after a few months. Kind of like trading in futures.
I suspect that Geithner’s got a USB port buried under his locks. His lizard alien overlords (TELEPROMTERZ) simply swap out the bailout algorithms as needed. What does this have to do with Obama? Teleprompters of course.
Actually a phrenological survey was made of Geithner’s skull. The surveyors disappeared. Then a rescue team was sent in. They haven’t been heard from since.
It might be a Herculean struggle against Manhattan lice, or it might be that Geithner’s skull is as disproportionate as a Renaissance painting. But I’m not being fair to Michaelangelo or Raphael. Those guys rocked.
Anyway, beware. I’m thinking that Geithner’s skull might be hinged; He might lob mortars or a 30 cal when you least expect it. Eternal vigilance and all that shit.
I’m accepting donations.
Well, I’m proud that Barry didn’t cut a retard joke. Whew!
wheelie: YOU ARE MY BROTHER IN MISSING THINGS.
wheelie: “I missed myself tonight.”
So true.
wheelie: He’s shuttin down the innartubez and our freedumbs of speech!!
Bearbloke: For a second I thought you said, “thick mexican reporter” which would also be good.
wheelie:
Hopey sold the US of A to China. Other than that, you didn’t miss much.
american mutt: no it wouldn’t - all that masa and manteca in one big lump… you’ll be sick for days!
Colander: I was going to say me too, until I realized that what actually happened was I pissed myself.
I’m glad to see Barry the President came back to replace Barry the Jokester tonight. No more cracks about the world’s most precious and unique people.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
You if the prez would just hang a pair of them thar Truck Nutz up by the podium, I’ll be all those stupid questions would go away. Hey, it worked for me! Nobody’s asked a stupid question for weeks.
Condeleeza Rice was just on the Tonight Show. She wouldn’t reveal who she voted for. Plus, she thinks Thomas Jefferson wrote the Constitution.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Everybody knows that Ron Paul wrote the Constitution.
Canmon (the Inadequate): I did too when I was a kid. Cuz’ the Animaniacs told me so.
Jeeze, Ken. Really bitter tonight. You need to take a couple of weeks off, and maybe just lose yourself in the desert or something.
Oh, you already live there? O.K., come join us cave folk in the rain forest. This week my kids and I are planting some fruit trees and building a deer fence to protect them. And maybe a Victory Henhouse too. Once you got that big fenced-in area, you may as well have some chickens eh?
Bring a hammer. And maybe some wire cutters, I can’t find mine.
Oh ha ha ha ha. Red State is already declaring the press conference a failure because… Rahm looked at a Blackberry? No really.
http://www.redstate.com/erick/2009/03/24/did-rahm-and-valerie-realize-the-president-was-blowing-the-presser/
BOBBY JINDAL SPOKE. WHERE IS THE FUTURE OF OUR SECRET REPUBLICAN FORTRESS GOING WITHOUT HIM?
Bearbloke: That was brilliant.
Keram2: Anyone who claims that that press conference was a “failure,” as all conservative blogs are probably doing, simply needs to imagine how it would have been had John McCain or Sarah Palin been asked the exact same questions.
Can you even conceive of the horror?
Keram2: That is pretty weak sauce. They must be missing the days when they were blaming poor folks for drowning in Katrina and declaring our glorious victory in Iraq. It was so much more fun than all this complicated policy stuff.
Jim Newell:
I imagine something like:
“My friends, the real problem with our economy is EARMARKS. EARMARKS HEENNGGHHH. I declare a spending freeze! Now quit pesterin’ me and fetch me my slippers.”
Jim Newell: I just kinda picture McCain up there, just mumbling to himself Rainman style “My friends, earmarks, earmarks, my friends, earmarks, earmarks, my friends.”
On the other hand, he probably wouldn’t have to use a TelePromTer for that.
Jim Newell: More like monotony - every answer would have been “We are going to cut taxes to stimulate the economy and reduce the deficit.”
Uncle Glenny: Sorry, I left out, reducing regulations which stifle the corrections of a free economy. And, as noted, EARMARX!
Jim Newell: The Beltway Bitchez would be asking McCain if he’s got a favorite on American Idol or who he likes in the playoffs, knowing that getting him to pontificate on economics is like trying to get a lemur to fix your transmission.
With every press-conference, they’re going to look more & more like they’d LIKE to be in the Special Olympics but just can’t quite work out the baffling complexity of running in a circle. So far, Obama has been downright gentle, but the next four years must feel like 4000 to them right about now … the REAL fun hasn’t even begun.
Campbell Brown is HUGE
Now, now, be nice. Campbell Brown was really big on Wonkette, at one time. *cough* Also, the number of the babies shall be eight.
lulzmonger: Nah, basically America wouldn’t exist and McCain would be holding hit press conference around a burning oil drum while passing plates of hobobeans.
The Space-Alien Teleprompters have taken over our planet with the space Robot, The Amazing O-Man. Take me to your leader!! Oh, no, our leader is now one of them!
wickedlittledoll: He joked about the Rolloff Family?