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JINDAL VS. THE VOLCANO

God Mocks Bobby Jindal With Volcanic Eruption

Bobby Jindal is a virgin.Just last month, the governor of Louisiana went on television and was all, “Now this $140 million ‘volcano monitoring’ deal is such a dumb liberal plot by ACORN, amiright?” And now Alaska’s Mount Redoubt has erupted, out of spite. Why does God/Vulcan/Sarah Palin want Bobby Jindal to look like such an asshole? [BBC News]


11:34 AM on Mon March 23 2009
By Sara K. Smith
4120 Views

  1. I so called this one!
    Eat it Jindal!

  2. ForTheTurnstiles says at 11:36 am, March 23rd, 2009

    love the alt text.

  3. Come here a minute says at 11:42 am, March 23rd, 2009

    I hope Jindal enjoys his big steaming cup of something called STFU.

  4. Vanity Smurf says at 11:42 am, March 23rd, 2009

    Hurricane season’s just around the corner, Bobby better get right with the lord.

  5. Has Jeebus’s lava finally covered the sins of Wasilla?

  6. americanscandoanything says at 11:46 am, March 23rd, 2009

    Palin and her witch doctor will be retaliating with a hurricane shortly

    this means war!!

  7. WadISay says at 11:47 am, March 23rd, 2009

    Jindal was still right about the train from Disneyland to the whorehouse.

  8. SemiCharmedQuark says at 11:48 am, March 23rd, 2009

    It only erupted because of all the Muslin Sacrifices of aborted babies Obama made to it

  9. CivicHoliday says at 11:51 am, March 23rd, 2009

    OH NOEZ TEH MUSLIN GOD IS ANGRY WITH US

  10. Formerly Preferred says at 11:52 am, March 23rd, 2009

    Now that the volcano has erupted, we can stop monitoring it, right? Jindal is right; he was just a bit premature.

  11. Drill, Bobby, drill!

  12. ManchuCandidate says at 11:52 am, March 23rd, 2009

    This could be made into a updated version of the Joe Vs The Volcano called Jindal Vs The Volcano. However, unlike the original this one’s actually funny.

  13. President Beeblebrox says at 11:53 am, March 23rd, 2009

    WadISay: Well, yes, except that it’s a train from LA to Vegas, i.e., from the second-largest city in the nation to the fastest-growing city in the nation, using maglev technology that China has had in place for years. But screw China - as long as the US and A keeps producing porn and fast food, we will still be the bestest economy in the world. America, fuck yeah!

  14. Violenza says at 11:54 am, March 23rd, 2009

    Don’t we know by now that mother nature hates Republicans?

  15. Aloysius says at 11:55 am, March 23rd, 2009

    Vanity Smurf: Hurricanes: Nature’s Poor Cleanser.

    Why should they spend all that money looking for hurricanes when all they have to do is wait and one will show up all on its own (or with buddies)? Same with volcano-watching: it’s gonna blow at some point, or else Adam would have called it a mountain when he was naming stuff. Geez, read a Bible, morans.

  16. Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! says at 11:56 am, March 23rd, 2009

    The graphic made me lava myself.

  17. SemiCharmedQuark says at 11:56 am, March 23rd, 2009

    I’d also like to say that this volcano is clearly a racist.

  18. shanemacgowan says at 12:00 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Uncle Ted would have earmarked a virgin to sacrifice to the volcano god.

  19. hobospacejungle says at 12:01 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    You’d think Jindal could use his powers of exorcism to release the thetans locked in the volcano, thereby saving the planet and pleasing Xenu at the same time. Win-Win!!

  20. Cape Clod says at 12:01 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    It’s not an eruption, it’s just the earth’s crust having a starburst over Governor Palin.

  21. AngryBlakGuy says at 12:03 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    …of course Bobby had to mock “Volcano Monitoring”! Its based upon ridiculous mumbo-jumbo like “facts” and “science”?! And everyone knows that if it isn’t in the Bible(or somehow made to seem like it is) then you will burn in a lake of fire for just thinking about it!

  22. Delicious says at 12:03 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    It’s like the Republican Party is the Special Olympics, or something.

  23. HipHopOpotamus says at 12:04 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    “Today, An Alaskan Volcano erupted. A month ago, I nationally mocked Obama’s Volcano Monitoring Program. FML”

    #547485 (20) - 03/23/2009 at 9:42am by BJisCool - work - I agree, your life is f***ed (4244*) - you deserved that one (7032)

    *Population of Utah that stumbled on the site accidentally after searching for “gay”, “f—”, and “suck” on google.

  24. Texan Bulldoggette says at 12:05 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    “Why does God/Vulcan/Sarah Palin want Bobby Jindal to look like such an asshole?” Ummm…because he is one???

    Maybe Piyush secretly performed a volcano dance or used his Indian voodoo magic to conjure this eruption in hopes that his 2012 competition would become Pompeii-ed.

  25. LittlePig says at 12:10 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Hey, she *said* she was a virgin!

  26. TimesUp says at 12:16 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    It’s not wise to mock the gods, or science.

  27. ForTheTurnstiles says at 12:23 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    TimesUp: Science mocks God. This is one reason why science is good.

  28. Mr Blifil says at 12:24 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    4 eruptions in one night? Viva Viagra!

  29. L Urchin says at 12:26 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    ForTheTurnstiles: If I’m interpreting the pic correctly, the crouching Indian is the virgin, mano a mano with his leading GOP white male challenger, right? And the semi-recumbent tart looming over them is biding her time till 2012 by causing volcanos to erupt and watching Fox News for any Obama gaffes she can capitalize on.

  30. The Helvetica Scenario says at 12:27 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    ForTheTurnstiles: I dunno, by that same logic, giant Ronald McDonald is good too.

  31. V572625694 says at 12:28 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    ForTheTurnstiles: Another reason science is good is intarwebs porn on your desktop. I don’t think Guvnuh Bobby likes that either, if in fact they have the Internet outside of New Orleans.

  32. Gallowglass says at 12:30 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    shanemacgowan: Can you really call them virgins after Uncle Ted has earmarked them?

  33. Gallowglass says at 12:31 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    ForTheTurnstiles: But God mocks Bobby Jindal, so that’s a point for Him.

  34. Mr Blifil says at 12:32 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Gallowglass: One thing’s for sure. Their ears sure ain’t virgins no more.

  35. Accordion-o-rama says at 12:38 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Magma has a known liberal bias.

  36. norbizness says at 12:39 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    It isn’t God, it’s Satan, gaining revenge against Bobby for all those exorcisms.

  37. Repent, Bobby! He knows about the Baconator you had on Friday.

  38. El Pinche says at 12:43 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Bobby, a volcano is no different than a young woman possessed with a demon (that is, a woman with some psychological issues). EXORCISE THE VOLCANO!!

  39. Gallowglass says at 12:45 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Servo: A Baconater? Looks like we need to prepare for another eruption. Hey-oo!

  40. El Pinche says at 12:49 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Czn939: oh, that is brilliant!

  41. Gorillionaire says at 12:50 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    (generic phrase related to volcano eruption)…”in my pants!”

  42. ForTheTurnstiles says at 12:50 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    L Urchin: Yeah, it’s a Benjaminian allegory on the catastrophe of history, legible in the most ridiculous of commodity forms.

    The Helvetica Scenario: Giant Ronald McDonald isn’t mocking God. He IS God. Urizen from Sun to Sun. &c.

    No more comments on Jindal from me, in case I ever visit Louisiana again… I’d rather not have that squealing little altar boy attempt to geld me in the name of public health.

  43. ForTheTurnstiles says at 12:52 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    norbizness: Louisiana is its own place, and can make a hell of heaven, a heav’n of hell.

    Johnny “Shoepeg” Milton

  44. L Urchin: Whew! Thanks for clarifying. Looking at the pic I was sure she wasn’t the virgin and that Alaska was surely screwed. - Hey, wait. Are you sure the Indian is a virgin?

  45. Serolf Divad says at 1:09 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    WadISay:

    He’s just sore it was a Nevada whorehouse and not a Louisiana whorehouse.

  46. pat robertsons personal trainer says at 1:30 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Piyush is just upset that Alaska was making a serious play to become North America’s capital of public corruption and cronyism, displacing one of Louisiana’s five remaining novelties. (Rest easy, Bobby, the Napoleonic Code isn’t going anywhere–and no other state is stupid enough to make “voodoo” the law of the land.)

    Also, the Indian is a half-breed foreign-born Muslin who gets elected Chief. The strumpet is your formerly pure daughter.

    “Oh boy. How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm once they’ve seen Karl Hungus.” Okay, so Karl was a nihilist and not a half-breed, but whatever.

  47. Another premature eruption.

  48. IceCreamEmpress says at 1:45 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Are you sure the Indian is a virgin?

    You’ve obviously never seen him, have you?

  49. teebob2000 says at 1:46 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    L Urchin: Close. It’s Piyush and Mittens fighting for the love of the PUMAs.

  50. MarieDeGournay says at 1:55 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Mulciber is not pleased.

  51. iowabosox says at 2:04 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Formerly Preferred:
    You call it premature, I just call it ecstasy.

  52. June Cleaver 2.0 says at 2:06 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Delicious: Ha ha ha, now that’s funny.

  53. shanemacgowan says at 2:07 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Accordion-o-rama: Thank you.

  54. June Cleaver 2.0 says at 2:20 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    I’d love to see Keith or Rachel make fun of Jindal about this on the teevee.

  55. SocialistMuslin says at 3:01 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    @Formerly Preferred:

    “Now that the volcano has erupted, we can stop monitoring it, right? Jindal is right; he was just a bit premature.”

    Something tells me Jindal has experience being “a bit premature” if ya know what I mean.

  56. Dur fitte munh, O Ye Doubters of Piyush!

  57. americanscandoanything says at 4:02 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    hopefully Mark Stanford can get involved some how

    we’ll see who jesus really prefers

  58. Atlas Spanked says at 4:34 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Even volcanoes hate the GOP.

    It IS a new dawn in America!

  59. bitchincamaro says at 4:55 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Nocturnal eruptions; how does one ever really prepare for them?

  60. mcfrady says at 5:01 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    All of you repug governors who don’t want any tainted stim money from Prez Hopey. How about a big fucking cup of STFU!

  61. problemwithcaring says at 5:54 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    OMG - you guys! Two days ago Bobby Jindal said —

    “It is a fact that Louisiana is the only state in the country that added jobs instead of lost jobs in January … We continue to outperform the national economy and Southeast economy.”

    BUY STOCK IN LOUISIANA HOBO BEANS NOW! NOW NOW!

  62. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 6:22 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Obviously, this is all Bristol’s fault.

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