Wonkette
- CHUCK GRASSLEY ALSO SAID THIS: When he wasn’t talking about suckin’ tits earlier today, Chuck Grassley was saying THIS about AIG: “The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better towards them if they’d follow the Japanese model and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things — resign, or go commit suicide.” +1 for Grassley, truly. He’s now trying to walk it back, of course — “I do not actually want them to commit suicide” — but this is progress, America. These people *should* be told to commit suicide, if they insist on destroying the world for everyone else while they’re still alive. Chuck Grassley is the new Santelli/Stewart/Beale! [The Swamp]
“Tits and Suicide”… the new Marilyn Manson album.
It sounds like there is a huge spike in demand for bankers heads (and other body parts) from the consumer. Judging by these trends, I suspect that the Wall St “Free Market is the end all and be all” types should be happy to oblige to the whims/demands of the Free Market by helping deregulate the laws on murder, right? Right?
Where can I send the bullets and guns?
Well they are accepting the bonuses — that should be shameful enough, don’t you think? They’ll probably have to drown their sorrows in Dom Perignon, cocaine and hookers just to get past the painful humiliation of wrecking the company they worked for and getting rewarded for it. I wouldn’t want to be those poor bastards — no sir.
Aww, Goddammit, he’s walking it back?! That’s the first time I ever agreed with Grassley on anything!
Seppuku, AIG bitches!
Can we bring back the ole’ head on the pike please?
Multiple Choice:
The AIG executives are:
A) Tittyfucking the bosom of the American taxpayer.
B) Giving the American taxpayer a Tepid Carl.
C) Just trying to make an honest living.
D) Just trying to get this race war started on the right foot.
E) Making a cry for help.
now that’s a reign of terror we can believe in
I hate it when someone has a truely great idea, and then gets all ashamed of it!
Even if my taxpayer money went to purchase the swords that they would them impale themselves on, I think I might still be mildly irked…
I say we make them be scientific test subjects for a phlebotomist with Parkinson’s until they earn the money to buy their own swords, and then we all get to watch it for free on a national holiday.
Who’s with me? HENGH?!
“I do not want them to commit suicide, but I would be interested to see them participate in a gang titty fuck with Condi Rice and Nancy Pelosi and Kay Bailey, resulting in a bukakke finale involving a funnel, a goldfish bowl, and a George Forman Grill. Clarence Thomas can hand out prizes at the end. Prizes. NOT BONUSES.”
Didn’t Grassley get in a shoving match w/Walnuts? Wasn’t that him? Almost (not really) makes me proud to be an Iowan. I didn’t read the tits article yet, so I have no idea if he’s going to be 3/3 today or not.
facehead: Is a Tepid Carl like a Hot Carl? I just need clarification.
Gretchen Morgenson profiled the AIG Fuck-America-a-thon nicely on “Fresh Air” yesterday. Your ‘camaro was so boiled, he had to pour a double-double. Twice.
shortsshortsshorts: and pix!
Sen. Grassley has a pronounced mommy fixation. I suspect he is more than a little demonic during his own feedings.
If he meant they should commit suicide by committing suppuku or by flying airplanes into Amercian navy warships, then that’s racist against the Japanese.
A gazillion years back, Woody Guthrie observed in his song “Pretty Boy Floyd” that more money’s been stolen at the point of a pen than the point of a gun.
You’d think that something mighta changed in a gazillion years.
But you’d be wrong.
Is Chuck Grassley saying that: even the long-dead ancestors of AIG executives think they are the sloppiest, most foully stinking shitbags ever to be lit on fire and then subsequently thrown on to the porch of the White House after the doorbell was rung by Edward M. Liddy as he ran behind the bushes?
Or am I projecting again?
Don’t get too excited people. This is AIG, the ‘I’ stands for Insurance. As brilliant the idea is, they all probably have some executive life suicide cover that would lead to billions more being paid to their loser kids trust funds. It’s not gonna force anyones families into eating hobo beans or prostitution.
Letting Tim Geithner, Robert Rubin and Lawrence Summers oversee this bailout is like paroling Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and Charles Manson and then being surprised when more dead bodies start showing up. You want to change Wall Street? Put somebody in charge who ISN’T FROM F****** WALL STREET! Tim Geithner probably BELIEVES those shitheads deserve the money! He fought Congress on the first bailout over limits on executive compensation. JHC!
Oops. I guess I shouldn’t have mailed AIG corporate that bag of cyanide capsules.
Comparing AIG execs to the Japanese is a huge insult to the Japanese.
The cocksuckers should have to go through the process of applying for unemployment and food stamps.
Then be shot.
Happy Patty Day. Hopefully all of you will get some tits to suck of your own… or if you are a female… some tits to suck on.
I hate to agree with someone named Mr. Herpes, but he’s right. The AIG executives would be a good start, but until we stop putting foxes in charge of the henhouse, nothing will change. Regulation won’t help. Henry Paulson, Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, Tim Geithner, Robert Rubin, Lawrence Summers, Christopher Cox, and more or less anyone who ever had a position of power in the Treasury, SEC, or Federal Reserve have been enabling all the Wall Street douchebaggery of the last twenty years.
If you freed every Mexican drug dealer in prison and replaced them with the above gentlemen, the world would be a better place.
with insensitive statements like these (lifted from World War II propaganda posters), Sen. Grassley could lose his re-election campaign.
already unpopular among Japanese American voters in Des Moines and, well…nevermind, there are no Japanese Americans in Iowa.
there will be no political repercussions.
(I hope to someday write for Politico)
My outrage went full circle back to outrage again. And now its on drunk side of outrage. I’ll use some Irish coffee to calibrate. also.
I’m just very surprised Grassley didn’t say , “AIG is sucking a man’s vein lathened, meat packed cock through a dirty restroom stall gloryhole” or some other republican man’s type analogy.
Kaylub: Let’em jump from skyscrapers.
Zhu Bajie
I enjoy hating bankers, because I’m a classist. But….um….some perspective, people. The War in Iraq costs US$720m per day, every day, and almost all that money goes to people who woke up one morning and said, “I know, I’m going to be a socialist and suck the taxpayer’s tit the whole rest of my life instead of getting a real job.” DoD, Dyncorp, Boeing, Martin Marietta, whoever makes all the guns and ammo and tanks and stuff, the spies - all of them *chose* to be socialists.
The bankers, on the other hand? They (presumably) paid taxes into the system their whole lives. This socialism thing just kind of happened, caught them off guard. Most of them probably want to go back into the private market, as soon as there is one again. But in the meantime, the trophy spouse needs plastic surgery and the McMansion needs a new roof etc. US$400m? That’s just one sunny afternoon in Iraq.
Suicide? No, they should merely kill themselves a little.
friendlyskies: Good point. I should also like to note that hard-working gigolos, whose only desire is to please women for a small and fiscally reasonable profit, are comparatively the salt of the earth.