Wonkette
Just a few short years ago, Americans huddled in their underground bunkers worrying that Saddam Hussein was coming to bomb them, personally. Now Americans huddle in their underground bunkers worrying that they’re going to have to tap into their emergency supplies of Hobo Beans — but at least they’re not afraid of the terrorists anymore!
Terrorism, such a quaint luxury from the olden tymes when we could freak ourselves out with visions of wealthy, sexually frustrated Arabs raining punishment on our hedonist asses! But now citizens do not give a flying fart about the terrorists anymore because they are too busy starving. The proof is in a new national survey by CNN/Opinion Research Corp.
Sixty-three percent said the economy is their top concern, with health care a distant second at 9 percent.
The federal budget deficit follows at 8 percent, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan at 6 percent, education and terrorism tied at 5 percent, and energy policy at 2 percent.
Good thing congressional Republicans keep railing on about the deficit, while Dick Cheney goes on the Sunday shows every week with dire predictions of bombings all over the place.
Poll: Unemployment is Americans’ top economic concern [CNN]
Surprising poll also shows what’s not on Americans’ minds [Top of the Ticket]
These hobo beans of which you speak, are they made from real hobos?
I am planting a fresh crop of hobo beans in my stupid hippie “recession garden”. Am counting on A-rab bombings to keep the crows away.
Ms Smith has been preoccupied with farts, fartsacks, and flatulence generally of late.
Texas will do that to a body.
Worrying about terrorism is like being tied up on railroad tracks with a freight train bearing down on you and freaking out that you might be struck by lightning.
Ironically, a global economy in ruins is only going to fuel terrorism in the future, and had W not sent us into Iraq, we’d have billions of dollars with which to fight the economic crisis.
But if we don’t bomb the foreigns, Halliburton will have no more squalid lands to “rebuild”. That’s when they send ol’ Dick out, with the terrorism theme. He is basically Billy Mays, speaking on behalf of OxiClean.
Are those singin’ hobo beans or stabbin’ hobo beans?
Gold is the new hobo beans.
Oh ho ho, won’t you all be surprised when you find out that the terrorists are the ones who ruined the economy!
NoWireHangers: Impossible. Everyone knows that the Terrists are motivated by pure hate for our Values and our Way of Life. There’s no way it could have anything to do with power or hegemony or resource misallocation. This is why we need a vision of hierarchy and structure like the medieval Chain of Being to restore order to a world of conflict in a vacuum of meaning.
Yes, I’m being sarcastic.
TGY: “Beans” is a euphemism. Think Civet Coffee.
Biden Time: Cramer to be shipped to Gitmo?
Biden Time: Didn’t know Greenspan was a Terrist.
We are a bunch of COUGHCLIMATECHANGE self-absorbed fuckers, aren’t we? Now hand me down my bindle, Toothless Joe.
Holy Crap!!!! You mean when the Administration and the Media aren’t running a 24/7 scare circus with red-level alerts, hunts for non-existent WMDs, and caily stories about the killing of the (new) third in command of Al Qaeda, people don’t run around all day freaking out over the fact that they’ve got a 1 in 10000000000 chance of being killed by terrorists?
TGY: “…are they made from real hobos?”
are they made from real beans? I’m tired of the plastic ones.
Hobo beans? Elitist. You’re all invite to come over for some squirrel tail stew. We make it with rocks, on account of having eaten all the local squirrels weeks ago.
Biden Time: More like “our pursuing of the terrorists ruined the economy.”
FAKT.
Hey guys, remember when Americans chanting “We’re #1″ didn’t seem ironic?
I know, me neither.
I’m telling you hobo beans are out, onion sandwiches are in.
I remember for my Bar Mitzvah back in the 80s when Grandpappy bought me several shares of HoboBeans, Inc. “Oh Grandpappy,” we all laughed. “There’s never going to be another Depression! Haven’t you noticed that Ronald Reagan is in the White House?” “You never know, boy,” Grandpappy snarled at me. Later as all the guests banqueted on egg bagels and tuna salad Grandpappy sat in a corner, mumbling that we’d all be sorry as he occasionally snacked on the herring he’d swiped from the buffet and stuffed in all his suit pockets. Years later he died and I sold my HoboBeans, Inc. shares and bought an Xbox. I can still hear Grandpappy laughing at me, from beyond the grave.
America: not worth bombing anymore.
…terrorist? economic meltdown?! What the hell does this have to do with Octo-Mom and why should I care?!?!?! Geeeeez, SKS you really have your priorities screwed up! I dont want to hear about collateralized debt and shrinking GDP! I want to hear about how Britney’s vagina spends more time flapping in the wind than a checkered flag at the Kentucky derby!
I’m rather intrigued/disgusted by what I found upon closer inspection of the Hobo Beans image, as the small print on the label proclaims them to be “Maple Flavored Jelly Beans”, not real beans at all!
Godot: And, of course, you can buy a can from stupid.com as is only fitting.
MathewBrooks: With mustard on wheat? love ‘em.
Terrorism is now what Chandra Levy and shark attacks were on September 12th.
Anyone who has ever seen Motel Hell knows that Hobo Sausage is teh best.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081184/plotsummary
somewhere in a cave in Pakistan:
Muhammed: Allah Akbar, we must carry out a terrorist attack on the Great Satan. Our attack must bring their capitalist pig economy to its knees.
Osama bin Bernanke: Allah Akbar, it is done my brother.
Come to find out Cheney attacked us because he did hate our freedoms.
Beans! Beans! The beautiful fruit,
The more you eat, the more you
can watch your 401k collapse and your
home’s value, if you even have one, disappear,
and your daughter’s college investment
plan evaporate so fast you’ll get a
whiplash watching it, oooooh, and
your turdy boss will make a sad little
face and shake his head and unemploy you,
and your kids will have to go back to a
public school with no swimming pool or plaid uniforms,
and you’re not gonna be able to keep your
car once the transmission finally goes, and
you’ll end up living in your in-laws basement
and arguing with them about who’s eating all
the peanut butter up late at night after everyone
else is in bed, and…
I’m sorry, I forgot the other verses.
WHAT?! We just figured out that if we pretended to be terrorists, we’d get to Gitmo where we hear they put out three squares a day, and now you say no one cares about terrorists??!!
I can haz March Madness?
I feel a lot safer since I found out that the Russki’s are sending strategic bombers full of H-bombs to Cuba to help us defend the homeland. After all, we have only two armed fighter planes on the East coast to defend us against the tourists.
NO! Ya’all don’t get it!
This is economical terirism. Obama bin Laden, after he bombeded the twin towers said he wanted to bankrupt our kapitalism system. he did it! Nevur Forget! War on Iran!