Wonkette
As some of you pointed out, the comments thread on that Fishbowl DC post we just linked to has some the best punditry we’ve seen the election. At least 75% of them make some scathing reference to the fact that Barack Obama uses teleprompters to deliver prepared speeches, like all Presidents and leaders and speakers have done since the invention of teleprompters and before that, when they read speeches from paper. There is literally no way that someone using a teleprompter to deliver a speech can be construed as controversial. Ha. But did you also know that pretty boy over there in the White House also wears “shoes” on his feet, like a retarded pussy? CAN’T HANDLE THE TERRAIN ON YOUR BARE FEET, HUSSEIN? [FishbowlDC]
ROMFLARFLROLARALOLLOLOLO!11!1!!!!ROFMLALAMAOAMALALOLOALAMALOLAALAOALOA!!!!11
They even managed an Acorn reference! Remember Acorn? Yeah, me neither…
!!!!!
Romney/Palin 2012!!!
Oh God, if only we should be so lucky.
Please can we invite them over? PLZ!!! We’ll be nice and play quiet, we promise!!
Yabus and Petedawg have never fully recovered from the Ashlee Simpson debacle.
That’s it, I’m just going to add “…..or Acorn!” to the end of my sentences to kind of punch things up a bit.
Gopherit: LOL I was just recalling the PUMA-women-thing that happened a few weeks ago and thought, “do Wonkette posters need to go teach someone a lesson?”
You all should go and annoy them, of course.
“Maybe the venue isn’t optimal to have telprompters.”
Someone’s been peeking ahead on their Word-A-day Calendar…..
Now if we could just get him to brush up on the syntax.
ROFLMAO!!! Yeah, the comment thread on many of these websites is full of stupidity — present company excepted.
The wingnuts always flood the comment threads on pages that are linked to Drudge. Seriously check this out, I guarantee that Drudge has a link to this story.
I wonder how yawbus, Keegan and PeteDawg speak to an “uh”dience.
C”uh”gnitive Dissonance.
NoWireHangers: The godamned Rush billboard should have made me laugh that hard.
The Mister Reagan was the president (actor) was the master of the Teleprompter, even continuing to read it when it had a glitch and started rolling backward.
As for Romney and Palin, they have to first figure out which one God really talks to. Maybe the three of them are in a Celestial chat room.
Jim Newell: OH RRLY?
Yes, sir.
You know what I hate, when I throw my shoe at the president, but it gets deflected by the teleprompter. God damn Acorn.
Could we get some more chlorine for the gene pool, please?
So, let me get this straight. After Dubya’s years of non-language. They. Are. Making fun. Of. Obama’s speech patterns?
OK, they’re generally dickhead morans. But you gotta admit “The Wizard of Uh’s” crack is pretty funny, the first time you hear it.
Which is what I did, just now.
iwouldstandinlineforthis: yup, it’s there, sadly, no siren
FYI, those aren’t avatars, they’re hi res. digital photos.
3..2..1.. to ‘Hitlery KKKlintoon’ reference. Apparently the internet and recorded history abruptly ended in 2000 only to be picked up a few months ago.
Tra: I had to think about it, too.
Jeebus trying to troll there is hard. Everybody just goes off on random shit. HELP.
Teleprompter reader! Nose breather! PANTS WEARER!
The Politico did an expose on this last week: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0309/19663.html
Own the cycle, baby!
Completely unfathomable that they are considered a “news” organization, until you read what passes as news from “news” organizations.
Okay, nobody told them that brevity is the soul of wit.
If your comment needs a Cliff’s notes, asshole, you’re doing it wrong, Mr. “Dem0crat_Culture_0f_C0rrupti0n.”
Jim Newell: Newell, you are the kiss of death to that now-dead linky. And drinks all around if that vicious birthday rumour is correct.
If I was president, there’d be no shoes in the Oval Office. Or pants. Or…well, hell, we’d replace Cabinet meetings with yiffpiles because we’re all doomed anyway, right?
Jim Newell: And we’ll kick their asses at Eco-drive.
President Obama spoke as a Senator at the March 2006 dinner.
So he’s aware that it is lame and pointless?
shortsshortsshorts: release the hounds!
“I don’t remember any other perznits shaving every day. What’s his fuckin problem, RIGHT YA’ALL LMAO!!1!”
Jesus.
Silly Jim Newell, the soles of Obama’s feet were hardened in his boyhood, when he had to run ten miles to the nearest well with a bucket on his head to bring water back for his entire village in Kenya. The shoes he wears now are just part of his cover as he infiltrates the United States. They were probably provided to him by his muslin socialist masters in Cuba.
shortsshortsshorts: As a spectator, I feel for you. They have no idea you’re wanking them.
He also can’t communicate over a distance without the use of his precious blackberry. What a fag.
sewingmyfish: Exactly. These half-wit protoliterate dickheads couldn’t put three words together to form a sentence, and as for “reading” from a teleprompter, they were lost at the verb “read.” Because reading requires a more complex set of phonemes besides “ugh” “grr” “kill A-rabs” and “sorryRushmayIkissyourassnow?”
shortsshortsshorts: I used to try to post dickish comments on wingnut sites (PUMA sites too) but soon gave up. Trying to use sarcasm over there is like shining a flashlite at the fucking sun. Actually, they quickly elected me their leader and encouraged me to procreate with Ann Coulter. I got the fuck out.
The faux ALL CAP LAMING doesn’t work on the real deal when they agree with you. Douthat will change everything. He’s the 9/11 of conservatism.
I want to know how you can make fun of the way someone speaks when you write half english such as this, such as. also:
it is offical … no teleprompters can be used at the event. We all know Barry doesn’t make public comments without his security blanket “the teleprompter” of course because he is a democrat which means he is really smart, the press give him a pass for having a teleprompter at every event. he is working on getting an earpiece so that he can leave the teleprompter at home and just repeat what is fed into his ear. Bush would be shredded for doing what Barry is doing with having a teleprompter at every event. Did I mention Barry requires a teleprompter to be at every event he speaks at. Has that been missed . Kind of like mentioning Crisis. if you say it enough that is all anyone remembers. teleprompter, teleprompter, teleprompter.
AWOcoholic: There will never be a better day than the day of trolling Malkin. It was glorious.
Although this site is great. One guy is trying to coin the catch-phrase “PRESIDENT PUSSY” for Barry. It’s too hard to resist.
Gopherit: Actually, I think you should ALL go play at their house.
Jim, the Link at the end of the story takes you nowhere, which made me very sad until I found the other one. Just sayin.
I’m getting me a screen name and going over there.
The comments are getting more unhinged. And is that “Dem0crat_Culture_0f_C0rrupti0n.” for real? or is that one of ours? (if for real, there are serious problems this person is facing. if one of ours, when is the wetsuit introduced?) geeze.
Happy natal day, Jim Newell, for the jewel that you’ve shared with us.
That these moroons apparently have and may (*shudder*) exercise the franchise is a ringing endorsement for President Barry’s initiative for higher education than sticking your finger in your nose and calling it attending high school. The FishbowlDC (competes with Wonkette????) is not ‘zactly long on erudition.
Can I hope when I visit DC this weekend that I don’t run into any of Friends o’ the Fish?
Uh … what … uh … function … does … the … uh … elipsis … uh … serve? Or is “………………….” supposed to signify the hilariously pregnant pause that comes before I’m supposed to ROFLMAO!!!???
Can Emperor King Obama please disenfranchise these dimwits? Also, completely off topic, is anyone else as shocked - SHOCKED - to learn of the Levi/Bristol breakup as I am? Or is that like 17 news cycles ago? (Sorry, I’ve been really busy since 11/4.)
Jim Newell: I was thinking that instead of trolling I would become actively involved with getting the Palin/[insert asshole's name here] ticket off the ground. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
(((But God doesn’t love me enough to let that happen)))
qwerty42: WHY ARE HIS SCREEDS SO LONG?
greatgooglymoogly: I was JUST thinking the same thing! Um…..okay, I give up -what comes after “Acorn?”
shortsshortsshorts: Shorts…you keep up so well over there. How do you do it without getting dizzy from all the crrrazy?
i hate him for having long, slender legs, while i have short, overly-muscular ones. that BASTARD!
In the Sacred Name of Our Socialist Antichrist Muslin Mandingo Overlord, AYATOLLA OBAMA, Sword of Islam, I COMMAND YOU CAPITALIST INFIDELS TO CEASE YOUR BLASPHEMES AGAINST THE LORD OF THIS WORLD, MASTER OBAMA, lest He cast your bodies and souls onto the CAROUSEL OF TERROR!!1!
Lascauxcaveman: I giggled. But then I know how smart the president is. These morons wouldn’t know smart if it smacked ‘em upside the head.
drrty martini: Trying to be crazier, and its fun asking 50 retards to get a chat room and cyber with you.
Custerwolf: We have to think KKKrazy!!! So ………. speeches with the downtown crowd, or ACORN …………. or sneaky black lib’ral welfare crak-smokin’ Negroes ……………. or ……………… more Negroes!!! ……………. or uh …………….. gah, my head hurts ………… DAM THOSE NEGROES!!!
tunamelt: Isn’t “lame and pointless” a pretty good way to describe Washington these days? I mean, jes’ sayin’.
“At least 75% of them make some scathing reference to the fact that Barack Obama uses teleprompters…”
In stark contrast to our last president, who couldn’t read at all.
Gopherit: shortsshortsshorts: You nuts are bronze star war bloggers and I love you for it.
USA!USA!USA!
ROMFLAO!!!!1!!!1!
also.
I think we’ve found our new “Also.”
or Acorn ………!
It’s all a campaign to discredit his reputation as being ‘articulate.” Next up are rumors that he doesn’t shower after his workouts.
tunamelt: you gotta wonder. and the sexual imagery he returns to again and again really seems to tie into being (I assume) a Republican. Analyzing this guy could be a thesis if not a dissertation.
My God that’s a lot of angerballs over there. If I had more time, I’d leave a bunch of
“At least Barry can READ a teleprompter, mouth-breathers, ALSO, he can correctly pronounce words like ‘nuclear’.”
NoWireHangers: We aim to please.
shortsshortsshorts: and yet you got no hits…..well, in the comments anyway.
Well, that was fun.
Bronkers: Can I hope when I visit DC this weekend that I don’t run into any of Friends o’ the Fish?
cripes, I have to be in DC in a week and it did not occur to me nuts like this were lurking there. Of course, I didn’t expect the Millionaire Maine Nazi who wanted to bomb the Inauguration either, so there you go.
Gopherit: Oh no no attacking chats is strictly for pleasure.
qwerty42: Or the Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects THEM.
greatgooglymoogly: or the comfy chair.
qwerty42: I’m gonna have to put the arm (yeah, I lift weights, too) on Her First Lady-ness, Michelle, to borrow her Kevlar-lined inauguration coat - protection ‘gainst FishFoes. I think she’ll whup my honkey a$$ in an arm-wrestle, though, notwithstanding that I should be given an age-based handicap.
You’ll be there when the cherry blossoms are debuting, so in addition to wingnuts you’ll have botanical gawkers jostling you. It’s a demanding gig, DC….
qwerty42: Not the comfy chair! (Okay, I’ll stop now. Sorry.)
Shorts, Gopherit, Chascates - kudos, Wonketeers. It’s just a shame that snark (get that, Dumby?) won’t be appreciated in the Fishbowl… and you know about fish, they swim and drink where they crap.
Let’s face it America, the douche in the Whitehouse learned about being a man…FROM A WOMAN. He needs a Kotex and an asprin, to bed early with for the soft palmed, manicured, sashaying, sexy, telepromter reader.
BECAUSE EVERYONE WHOSE DAD LEFT THEM GROWS UP TO TAKE ASPIRIN AND STICK TAMPONS IN THEIR ASSES AND IS A BIG FAT GAY WHO CAN’T GET BY WITHOUT “TELEPROMPTERS”!!!!
The Station Manager: Get it right, dawg. It’s “asprin”, not “aspirin”, and “telepromter”, not teleprompter.
Wait, wut? Bush used a teleprompter too?
Bearbloke: Wow, just wow. You might want to yell that in the phone to Rush.
drrty martini: damn, you’re awesome
I just cut ‘n’ pasted this post directly to my blog and titled it SNARK OF THE DAY. It’s that good.
drrty martini: You’re zigging and zagging, coming from the left then the right. I for one, can’t keep up.
They really need some better avatars over there. That flatlined face is really creepy. The site would be so much better if it were just Blingee avatars.
Christ, name me one conservative tenet that isn’t based somewhere in “Fuck you, I’ve got mine.” One. Douches. Also. Whatever. *angrily drinks*
Well, I think we’re about done there. That was a good afternoon’s work.
We did it 4 u Jim Happy Birthday.
Jukesgrrl: Do not mock THE CAROUSEL OF TERROR!!1!, O accursed hawt libtard chick (or so says Denby-the-damnned…) - this instrument of LORD OBAMA’S INFINITE SOCIALIST VENGEANCE is a fearsome device, that WILL make you very dizzy, and cause you to be COMPELLED to sit quietly for a few minutes before you can go on the next ride… BWAHH HAH HAHA HAH!!!!11!!
The thing is, these people actually talk like this. I had an awful meal with a couple of these douches, and it was all like, His One-ness, Messiah Barack HOOOSAAANNNEnnooObama-nation, in his PORKULOUS package for the USSA,… I now regret that I didn’t stick my finger down my throat.
Oh, hey, what’s that? George W. Bush reading from a teleprompter, you say? And his father doing the same? Surely the Great Communicator wouldn’t do that? Nope, Reagan did it too! Hmm, so maybe this “Obama is the Teleprompter-President!!1!1″ thing is completely retarded? Hengh?!
Are you assholes trolling the Drudge link about ‘The Daily Show’ too, or are these hateballs organically grown? http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D96SPKFO2&show_article=1
p.s. WTF is “ROFLMAO?” Does it have something to do with Twitter?
This was my personal favorite, from scristanti:
now can you imagine if Bush had done this to be with his daughters for spring break??? now be honest here, he would have been villified for weeks, how dare he do this they would have said, msnbc would have trashed him on every show, obama is arrogant, he does not want to do this, so he says hell with it, the press and media he knows will just leave him alone, this is complete bs, what a cop out, blame it on his kids spring break, just one night he would have been away, just as cocky as ever , do what he wants knowing no president misses this, and here Bush went every year knowing these journalist hated his guts, treated him like crap, and would make fun of him for anything, this makes me sick, what kind of president do we have, we have an empty suit who has to have a teleprompter now for even press conferences with info on it like statistics and numbers because he knows nothing unless his advisors tell him, imagine that , a teleprompter for a press conference, no wonder he did not have a big press conference that presidents usually have when a leader from a major country comes to washington like the Prime Minister from Great britian , he could not answer the questions , he dissed the PM, like clinton said, JUST WORDS, AND HE’S IS JUST A FAIRYTALE!! when is the press and media going to wake up???????????????
Jim Newell:
Goes without saying, don’t you think? “Red flag to a bull” and all that.
Hmm, yeah, I mean George W. Bush never used a teleprompter! Oh, wait, he did. And his father did too. What about the “Great Communicator”? Guilty as well. So maybe this is all a bunch of overblown nonsense, hengh?
jagorev: Indeed, when is the press and media going to wake up????????????
HENGH?
The sad thing is, I just know that “Kegan” is that douche’s real name.
I was just reading through the damage in those comments. You people are doing the Lord’s work, surely.
AWOcoholic: This asshole did, but they threw me in moderation, which sucks, because it took HOURS to craft that comment.
jagorev: Ha, I just had an image of W in Cancun judging Jenna in a wet t-shirt contest. The eye bleach, it does nothing.
yea, he can’t go a foot without the teleprompter…just as Dubya can’t read a single line, without the use of “my first lesson in alphabets”…
NoWireHangers: Why DO they like to roll about on the floor so much?
thatonegirlsays: Aw shit, I am getting stup.i..d..e…r ….. even ..as I ..read ..it …AHHHHHH!!!!!
‘or acorn’. Or Acorn what??? They’re so programmed with their limited vocabulary, its almost cute. And quit the Messiah crap already (its actually ironic, considering I have never come across anyone who actually thinks like that. They’re mocking things that they have set in their heads).
How can you made it through nearly a decade of President Bush, and Obama pausing and saying the occasional ‘uh’ every now and than when he speaks bothers you? I even saw a video compilation of it on YouTube. Allah, please have mercy on their souls.
You’ve clearly never been on Yahoo Answers Politics section:
http://answers.yahoo.com/dir/index;_ylt=AjlspwcmH3Pt8OViVAd4N8jsy6IX;_ylv=3?sid=396545450
WadISay: Wow. How’d you end up stuck at a table with someone like that?
On the plus side, eventually they will develop their own dialect entirely, and no one else will be able to understand a word they say. This will be a net benefit to the nation. Or Acorn.
AngelaB:
Things I learned trolling FishbowlDC:
1. Or Acorn! should triumphantly end every sentence, regardless of context.
2. Although the fake birth certificate/secret Muslim/Bill Ayers disciple/secret Malcolm X lovechild exposes have failed, Barack Obama will finally be brought low by the revelation that he uses a teleprompter.
3. One can never say “teleprompter” often enough.
4. Wingnuts appear to have forgotten that “Nobama” meant “no to Obama,” and now that the election is over, comically continue to use it as though it were some kind of generic insult.
How nice. The laid off Republican staffers found a way to spend their time.
Update… I reposted this on my blog yesterday, and I’ve gotten two posts from a guy who insists that Obama uses teleprompters.
so you don’t like what someone has to say so you just call them retarded? wow…could you be any less offensive? I just don’t understand why anyone thinks it’s okay to be so sophmoric, unless of course you’re so clueless that you just don’t care about dehumanizing language towards people with special needs.