Wonkette
FRANKEN-COLEMAN DEATH MATCH STILL IN COURT: Minnesota’s single senator says she expects this will be resolved when the polar ice caps melt; meanwhile, the secretary of state says any hope of a revote is “pure fantasy, pure baloney.” Suggestion: Appoint Roland Burris as interim senator. [Time]
Yay! Sarah Palin will decide in a polar bear death-cage match!
Looks like the last punchline of Franken’s comedy career is “Norm Coleman.”
Can DC borrow the Minnesota Senate Seat in the meantime? Just for a few days?
Lizard People, also.
Aren’t the polar ice-caps melting *now*?
mmm, fantasy flavoured baloney!
This is how they put on a death match in Minnesota? Lame, so lame. Come to Texas — we have killin’ down to a fine art. Or at least a craft.
Fantasy-flavored baloney!…. with hobo beans!
Hot dish cook-off.
After the disappointing tenure of Gov. Jesse “The Body” Ventura, the term “death match” should be mothballed in reference to Minnesota. Dude never even broke a folding chair over anybody’s head. I do think that Al Franken should be given credit for performing one of the longest slow burns in political history, however.
BillyClubb:
One of Minnesotan’s favorite pastimes is watching pickups with Texas license plates slide off the road in their attempts at winter driving.
There isn’t much to do in the winter up here.
How’s about Laurie Coleman offers each male voter in MN a ‘blow’n'go?’ Pay-per-view blowbang….
Wins by a landslide!1!1! Raises HUGE cash for the RNC.
Nothing runs like a Deere, but nothing sucks like a Coleman.
Coleman: Say, man, you got a joint?
Franken: No, not on me, man.
Coleman: It’d be a lot cooler if you diid.
DoctorCulturae: tastes like hope
I just don’t understand this. Don’t they have some process to figure out who is going to be the Senator next? Like a vote or something?
-Oh. Oh, I see. And they can do this indefinitely? Oh. Never mind.
I’m too lazy to read about it anymore. But they are settling this with a duel, right? RIGHT?!?!
snideinplainsight: Yes, and Norm “Just concede, Al, don’t drag it out and waste taxpayers’ money” Coleman will.
Canuckledragger: Wow, that’s sexist. I would think MN’s female voters would appreciate some oral, too, from MN’s biggest slutbomb whore, Ms. Coleman.
Why is Jay running for Senator of Minnesota? Who’s holding up the wall at the QuickStop? Where’s Silent Bob?
As a Minnesotan, my darkest fear is that we will all end up as extras in Recount!: When Jews Collide, wearing squashy hats with earflaps with lines like, “It’s a cold one today, there, Lars.” “Yup, Toivo. Say, how about that ding-dong recount anyhoo?”
CrunchyKnee: Coleman’s a Republican. He would say, “No, not on me, BABY!”
Winner gets to go to DC.
Loser stays home and listens to A Prairie Home Companion on an endless loop.
hockeymom: Sorry I think you left out a good bit -
“Winner gets to go to DC and participate in bitter legistlative fights while trying to ad-lib a solution to the biggest economic crisis in a century.”
snideinplainsight: Maybe not such a win after all.
Oh comeon guys! Coleman wants to join the rest of the obstructionists and America-haters in Congress. Let him loose so we’ll be on our way to the Hobo Jungle.
Isn’t Mini-Sota one of them states that wants to secede from the USA and form the nation of redneckistan?
If so, just ask President Chuck Norris to decide.
Then Al Franken can move to New York, USA.
Sometimes the answer comes so easy - when youre drunk before noon.
RobPetrified: Please for to tell me wherefore you obtained this material whereby you have become “drunk.” Which back alley and where? Will you exchange for beans?
WadISay: WIN.
RobPetrified: Minnesotans would gladly be their own peaceful little country, if that were even possible. Our leader would naturally be zombie Wellstone.
meanwhile, even us MINNESOTANS are so bored by this. The newspapers all dutifully publish one story every few weeks about it usually along the lines of Norm Coleman wants the ballots he said were invalid to be counted now. Poor Norman wants every piece of garbage to be counted. He’d count yard signs if they let him. Uncle Glenny: Yeah, didn’t he say that on..oh…November FIFTH? For realz Franken, you need to give it up. Give it up like Gore.
Norm Coleman has a face shaped like a banana.
Since Coleman is a Republican and is fighting so hard to keep his seat, it raises the question: Are the transvestite prostitutes in DC that much better than the ones in Minnesota?
I wish you’d quit running that yearbook photo of Norm Coleman. Every time I see it I’m tempted to draw on a beard and mustache. He’d look exactly like one of those Warner Sallman Jesus portraits.
Monsieur Grumpe:
What the hell are Texans doing in MN in the winter, anyhoo?
Crossing to Manitoba for some cheeep Canuck prescriptions?
Has the war South of the border scared the longhorns North?
(BC Bud is far superior to Mexican swag anyways…)