Wonkette
Nothing’s more exciting on a Monday afternoon than when you’re trolling for another lame Meghan McCain news story and instead find a new instance of feuding between two of the five or six most comical GOP characters. What! Look at this! Joe the Plumber has lashed out at Michael Steele! Jonathan Krohn must be so embarrassed.
What’s great about Joe the Plumber’s Denunciation is that it veers toward the non-racially transcendent. That’s a fine and long-awaited turn in the anti-Steele wingnut rhetoric, if we do say so:
“Unfortunately we have a chairman up there who wants to redefine conservatism; he wants to make it hip hop, put it in a new package and sell it,” Wurzelbacher said [at a conservative summit]…
Hear that, Republicans? This Michael Steele wants to change the Republican party’s image! Is he INSANE? And worse yet, he wants (however lamely) to make an effort to reintroduce minorities and young adults to the party! Doesn’t he know that minorities and young adults can’t even vote, because of the poll tax?
Speakers stress upholding principles at conservative summit [WisPolitics via TPM DC]
That’s great, Joe. Shouldn’t you be at home working on your lawsuit against OH? Or, better yet–fixing someone’s damn toilet! Or is RushBo your sugar daddy & you no longer need to work to eat, live and maybe even pay off your back taxes. Hey, here’s a thought–drop your lawsuit & OH forgives your back tax debt. Douche nozzle. Also.
I would so believe in magic baby Jesus for at least a little while if the Republicans would make Not-Joe the Not-Plumber the head of the Republican Party.
If Joe the Plumber and Rush Limbaugh got in a fight, who’d win?*
*Stipulation: both must be hopped up on Oxycontin
Joe the Plumber is better than Rush. He’s the gift that keeps on giving.
Michael Steele: “Subversion! Hippity Hop! IMAGERY!”
JtP: “Squeak squeaker squeakums?”
Texan Bulldoggette: Your “also” is a reminder that we haven’t heard anything from the Snowbilly in, what — five or six days now? Doesn’t she wither and die without the nourishing beams of the Media Spotlight?
Next up: Sarah Palin goes for the jugular in her criticism of beloved GOP icon Sexless Hovering Cherub From 14th-Century Painting.
I’m trying, and failing, to not giggle out loud over the alt text. Well done Mr. Newell.
Serolf Divad: Isn’t JtP more of a crystal-meth kinda personality? All that short-attention-span jerking around? Whereas Rush has the avoirdupois and personal demeanor of a downer-lover. So Joe’d swing a 14″ Stillson upside Rush’s head, but it’d bounce off the rolls of jaw fat.
Oh, I’m making myself sick here.
This is delicious.
V572625694: Maybe she’s trying to come across as the sane Republican?? Never fear, though. She (like Putin) will rear her head soon enough over the lower 48 & rape & pillage until there’s nothing left but a few hillbillies in overalls & some dead goats.
Heh-heh, JtP said “package.”
we have a chairman up there who wants to redefine conservatism; he wants to make it hip hop, put it in a new package and sell it
Good thing Rush is the real leader, behind the scenes. And Steele is just there to be spoken to in broken ebonics by very very very white people.
Wow, it looks like Rushbo has a firm grip on JtP’s nutsack. Keep squeezing, Rush.
http://crooksandliars.com/david-neiwert/right-wing-pundits-agree-being-leade
This contains some wonderful “video” of dumb pundits (Kristol and friends) going around a table and talking about how fantastic it is now to have a real party leader, because obviously not running off a cohesive message did the Democrats YEARS of good.
V572625694: she’s been too busy giving Ken Salazar head so he’ll make sure wolves are de-listed from ESA.
A program pitch for CSPAN Pay-Per-View: Republican Leadership Summit - 2009.
Coulter, Limbaugh, Meggie, Joe, Michael Steele, Michelle Malkin, Sarah.
Doomsday, Barbed Wire, Death Match.
Wet T-Shirts for the ladies, concrete boots for the men. Whatever for Lindsay Graham and Miss McConnell, if they wanted to attend.
Steele should never have left the Wu-Tang Clan . . .
Oh Jesus. They’re having a culture war within the Party now? This is rad.
I’d give Joe the Plumber a pass on the racial code thing. Michael Steele, after all, is the one who first brought hip hop into the discourse (in a hilariously ridiculous way, but still). Using hip hop to characterize Steele’s approach is fair play now.
Serolf Divad: We would win Serlof, we would win.
Oh dear, that’s right, we DID almost go an entire week without a press release from the ubiquitous ‘Ho the Plumber, didn’t we? Can’t we just move on with our lives and pretend he never existed? Oh, that’s right, he DOESN’T exist.
Michael Steele IS making the party more hip-hop. I mean, look at all these denunciations back and forth: Frum V Lardassbaugh, Plumbers V Steele, Lardassbaugh V Steele… it’s like Jay-Z V Nas from back in the day, only without the Doors sample, or, you know, music at all.
And Meaghan V Coulter? Totally, Roxanne Shante V Real Roxanne.
Texan Bulldoggette: Remember (and fear) this formula:
Palin + better handlers = Reagan
CivicHoliday: Nice! Do you caress your mother with those typing fingers?
Like an onion, Joe has many layers, and like onion rot Joe is deep.
“(US Rep. Paul)Ryan said Republicans have to do more than say ‘no’ and offer alternatives.
“It’s our job as Republicans to tell you the truth and tell you what’s going on,” Ryan said. “We owe it to you to offer the American people an alternative.”
Didn’t he get the memo? Republican’s only job is to say no. Republicans are the speedbump of democracy!
Michael Steele’s Response: “Plumber, Please!”
CollegeStudent:
Bingo! You win the all expenses cruise!
Woodwards Friend: Yes, I agree: Joe the Plumber is political herpes.
comradepaulson: Does this mean that one day, Michael Steele will be shot dead by unknown assailants in Vegas casino and a few weeks later, Rush will be gunned down in retribution?
GOP implosion in 1…1…1…
For some reason this whole comical mess has created in my head a rap that sounds like Schooly D’s Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme… my rhymes are sort of lame, but this is just so frakking hilarious that I couldn’t help myself.
My name is …
Mike Steele
The real deal
An urban-suburban hip-hop settin’
Fo’ da party of
Ronald Reagan
Joe-lock and he’s on top
Rock you with some cops
Sarah, you up next wit’ ya knock-knock
Sarah shoot da moosies, see? Sarah get da clothing, G
Risin’ like a star, fallin’ like a car
Ice on her fingas and her toes, from da RNC
Uh, check-check it, yeah…
Cuz we are the GOP Teens
Urban-suburban hip-hop settin’ make me wanna scream
Cuz we are the GOP Teens,
Urban-suburban hip-hop settin’ make me wanna scream
GOP Teen Hunga Force - numba 1 in the hood, G!
also what is the countdown clock before JtP get’s caught working for NAMBLA and trying to assassinate (they just like saying “ass” twice) Andy Cuomo? I’d give it a week. Also, since he’s Joe the fucking fake plumber, will NYPD give him the plunger treatment? I need answers. Also buttsecks.
It’s like watching an terrarium full of spiders all eating each other simultaneously.
Go Joe the Spider, go!
I’m Steele, motherfuckers! and I’m here to say
No way, hey baby, am I going away
I’m the chairman of the party and I’m feeling strong
so you can get jiggy or you can get gone
I’m gonna show ths party some shock and awe
because I’m Mike Tyson’s brother-in-law!
Is it too late to hope JtP is actually Sascha Baron Cohen making a new movie?
See, Joe? That’s what you get for running off to report for Pajamas Meida on the war between the whatevers amd the whoevers. The Republicans who thought they were the party leaders (having been elected at local levels by their party) got together and elected somebody chairman. Turns out they were just a bunch of lefties. Never go away again. Please.
V572625694: She was in downtown Anchorage for the ceremonial start of the Iditarod on Saturday- you think her voice is annoying on TV, try hearing that fingernails-on-a-blackboard screech coming out of a lousy outdoor loudspeaker! Truly astonishing. And of course she was parading her annoying kids around as well- some things never change.
His presence has shamed the term “Summit” for eternity.
Harold Stassen, you would look like one of the Founding Fathers now.
chascates: Harold Stassen, the best argument for cloning that the GOP can muster, given the alternatives.
Obvs JtP didn’t get the memo that the only reason G(r)OPers are interested in minorities and young adults is for the sexxxy time.
V572625694: Jesus. Thanks. I’ll be waking up in a sweat at least once weekly for the next 25 years or so of my life with that reality check.
Segue from Sam the Turd to the GOP toilet water continuing to spiral:
GOP Rep. Patrick McHenry: “Our Goal Is To Bring Down Approval Numbers” For Dems
http://theplumline.whorunsgov.com/house-republicans/gop-rep-our-goal-is-to-bring-down-approval-numbers-for-dems/
Is Wurzelbacher unaware of what happened to Guckert/Gannon? He should ask Ana Marie Cox, they seem to be hanging around some of the same folks.
Graphictruth: Them librul city slickers jus’ cain’t get good redneck irony laik this.
There’s more…
Advocatus_Diaboli: It’s
funnyfrightening because it’s true!He is the grift that keeps on giving…
V572625694: Yup. Ghosts, Goblins, Damiens, etc. - that’s child’s play.
What’s really scary is that 50 something million people voted for W. Twice!
And these mouth-breathers still account for a worrisome percentage of the electorate.
Shit. Jesus. Fuck. I have to go back to my hairshirt, now - it’s so much more comforting.
“You can’t sell principles; either you have them or you don’t,” Wurzelbacher said to applause from most of the 800 in attendance.
Now did Joe get get his principles after divorce number one or divorce number two? Or during the mandatory battered wife counseling? Or after paying the restitution to the domestic violence shelters?
GreatSatan: GreatSatan, that’s the best line I’ve read in awhile. Did you make that up yourself?
problemwithcaring: Not that I am saying he beat his two ex-wives. I fully believe they just could no longer stand the sight of him.
Carville must be paying Joe the Plumber. I’m sure he’d take the money, don’t you think? $10, $20, whatever gets thrown on the floor in front of him. What a whore.
Am I supposed to disrespect Michael Steele because he’s incompetent or because he is black? Or is he incompetent because he is black? Maybe Patrick McHenry can forward that talking point to me because I’m soooo confused.
By the way, I just Googled “joe the plumber”+whore. 39,800 hits.
saggyboobedhag: No, it’s the Boston terrier in the picture. That bothers me.
El Vista: Lady Lindsay & Miss Mitch will serve as the event’s official fluffers…
Serolf Divad: Rush would sit on Joe. Also.
I thought JTP was Hannity’s bitch.
Michael Steele is to hip hop what JTP is to plumbing.
Tomthebunny: you spelt “idiot-tard” wrong.
JtP?
Jesus the Pimp?
shanemacgowan: Reps tell the truth? That’s a new one! They’ll offer to balance the budget next!
Zhu Bajie
I love it that the Repugs are now lead by a redneck trailer-park queen, a fat, blowhard talk radio mouth, Kenny for 30 Rock, an ineffectual failed Maryland hack and now a self-promoting, way-over-his-15-minutes loser. Things are really looking up for the repugs now.
See, Newell, you CAN do alt text!
comradepaulson: I’d say Khia vs Trina.
President Beeblebrox: SACRELIGE(sp?)!!!!!one11! Also.
EnBuenOra: A big yes to that.
Joe-the-tax-dodging-not-a-plumber as chairman of RNC and Sarah Palin as their candidate. It would be an orgasmic pairing for the wingers in rural America and reduce their share of the electorate to between 26 and 29 percent of the voters. I choose those numbers, because they were Bush’s very favorable ratings at the end of his disastrous turn in the WH. It’s the Permanent Stupid in America.
Hey–I’ll think I’ll trademark that term so nobody be using it.
Da plumber must be stopped. He is soaking up 15 minutes of fame from every deserving as yet unknown wing nut in the country. They deserve a turn too! Besides, I need someone new to mock.
jagorev: As long as it creates more trouble, i’m for it.
monthlykos: Wow, thanks. I did, in fact, make it up myself.