Wonkette
OH YEAH WE SAID WE WOULD DO THIS, AT NIGHT: You all can just cold go nuts in the comments, like crazy people calling Coast To Coast AM or C-SPAN or whatever. Fun! Your editor will drop by later on, to see if there is behaving going on, here.
NIGHT-TIME SEXY TALK
Tagged:
Boobies!
Hold me. I’m scared.
Ari is cuter.
Thank you, eds! Is this just a test to see who among us has absolutely no social life? I’m game.
Assface!
I meant to say…{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}
Baby bestialities!
hawt. i can barely breathe.
Rahm Emmanuel is like the new Ram Dass for our generation. Like, instead of saying “I am not interested in being a lover. I am only interested in being love,” Rahm would say: “I know where you fucking live and where your kids go to school. I hope you enjoyed the fish, motherfucker.”
i love warm raw poultry. im sorry.
anyone wanna stop by and rahm my emmanuel?
So if we can all just turn our attention to someone a little more important… Back to Brad Pitt at the White House. I swear Pelosi brushes his ass at this press conference, and I can’t vouch for the whereabouts of Clyburn’s hands the whole time either:
http://tr.im/h4l7
So…are we talking about America here, or just buttsecks? Cuz this involves the former.
slinkimalinki: can we impeach your bush , too?
Fun Fact! Rahm’s father was a member of the Irgun:
Irgun (Hebrew: ארגון; shorthand for HaIrgun HaTzva’i HaLe’umi BeEretz Yisra’el, הארגון הצבאי הלאומי בארץ ישראל, “National Military Organization in the Land of Israel”) was a militant Zionist group that operated in Palestine between 1931 and 1948. It was established as a militant offshoot of the earlier and larger Jewish paramilitary organization Haganah (Hebrew: “The Defense”, ההגנה). For reasons of secrecy, people often referred to the Irgun, during that time, as Haganah Bet (Hebrew: literally “Defense ‘B’ ” or “Second Defense”, הגנה ב), or alternatively as Haganah Ha’leumit (ההגנה הלאומית) or Ha’ma’amad (המעמד). In present-day Israel, Irgun is commonly referred to as Etzel (אצ”ל), an acronym of the Hebrew initials.
That’s the group of happy campers who bombed the King David Hotel in 1946 killing 91. Which may explain Rahm’s combativeness but says nothing about his ballet prowess.
damn I just wanna sexy romantic dinna with Rahm-Beau … does anyone know what his fav meat is?
sexytime: Chitlins.
chascates: But Joe the Plumber told me that electing Obama would lead to the death of Israel. Hope no one tells the Emmanuel the Elder. He is going to be soooo pissed.
I can’t have sexy time today. I saw Wacko Jacko on the TV. Ewwww.
Colander: chitlins is meat? are meat? whatevs. i am such a yankee. ask me about lutefisk. that i know something about.
Maybe we can decide what to get Ken, Jim, and Sara for next Christmas. I suggest the same thing we got them last year.
BadKitty: I don’t even know if it’s spelled right. I think it’s innards. Fun to say, though.
OPEN THREAD!! We are on a slippery slope to Atrios-like one sentence posts x10 each day aren’t we.
well, at least it helps pass the time until (NERD ALERT) the Watchmen showing (NERD ALERT)
Mr Blifil: Yeah, I got the Tourette’s too–it’s a bitch (glad I didn’t say motherfucker).
This “open thread” thing is a bit too Atrios-y for my taste, but on the other hand, I am bored and lonely. Nights like these are when I wish I had a TV, so I could tune into this “American Idol” thing that I’ve never seen, but I don’t, so all I have are elitist books (eww!), alcohol, and the warm, dulcet tones of NPR to keep me entertained.
Mmmm. Is this the Wonkette version of Craigslist Casual Encounters?
Maybe it’s so pop now as to be passe, but I would fuck that salt-and-pepper hotheaded fucker Rahm Emanuel so hard he’d die.
Colander: It’s pronounced chitlins but spelled chitterlings. Actual guts. Unlike central European-style sausage which we hereabouts call ‘hot guts’.
What about something that matters? Do we recover best by continuing corporate nationalization, or by some sort of infrastructure/public works rebuilding?
“It has been 513 calendar days since the stock market peaked on Oct. 9, 2007. Since then, the S.&P. 500 is down 56 percent and the Dow is off 53 percent.
On Jan. 29, 1931 — the identical number of days after the 1929 market peak — the S.&P. 500 was down 49 percent and the Dow was down 56 percent. The 1929 crash got off to a much faster start, but we have now more or less caught up.”
chascates: we could get them all Snuggies!! Those things will never go out of style
jagorev: At this point… “Nights like these are” I thought your post was going an entirely different direction.
jagorev: According to last Sunday’s NY Times they really collect static and debris off the ground. How about serapes? Much like Snuggies but cheaper and then you can blend in like the visitors from the south.
Here’s a giant Rahm Emanuel picture all you ladies and gays can print out and tape to your pillow:
http://www.gunreports.com/media/newspics/repemanuel.jpg
A proud (half) black man and his sidekick Jew running this country. The perfect antidote to eight years of Christian crackers. Can’t wait to see what the next pendulum swing brings - Soylent green is people!
wonkette chatroom right here:
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
Rielle Hunter: yeah, get in line.
nagi: Speaking of the stock market, if any of you missed Jon Stewart last night, WATCH IT NOW:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=220251&title=intro-joe-nocera-is-here
The path to recovery will be paved with the blood of these CNBC douchebags.
hrhkingfriday: My god, you guys are sick. Isn’t she the sister of the Tennessee wheelbarrow dude?
Colander: But does he prefer his chitlins slung or unslung?
I have to say that I do not find Rahm the least bit hawt.
You must all be into angry sex.
jagorev: God that was epic. The “is it fun to be a billionaire?” question will go down in history as an example of all that is wrong with America today.
Anyone want to fondle my TruckNutz?
The chat room scared me. I ran away.
cal: Me neither. I’ve been sending Geithner my used underwear for four weeks now. I asked him to wash them for me, But I don’t think he’s doing it.
Alldat: I think he just sticks them up his nose and makes funny faces to make people laugh at dinner parties.
jagorev: every time i click on that, he smiles at me all over again. with his eyes!
jagorev: That was great. Both houses of Congress should be forced to watch Stewart (and Colbert) before they start each session instead of those prayers to Whomever.
Colander: That chat room is one pit of porn! And gross porn at that.
jagorev: Yes hyperepic. Amazing on so many levels: clearly they spent a long time researching and pasting the story together AND that the segment was inordinately long for the DS, but also utterly exquisite. Huff ran the clip at the top. As far as I know there has not been any response from CNBC. They must be floored.
slinkimalinki: admittedly, i was talking about the rahm pic, but it kind of works for the stewart clip also.
WagTehGod: Well, Rush probably does.
cal: What other kind is there?
DoctorCulturae: They don’t give a shit. Tards
OH HELL YEAH BITCHES, the Snuggie! Blanket with sleeves! It will lower your heating bill! It will allow you to easily answer your cordless phone from 1990! It will allow Malcolm McDowell/Terence Stamp to comfortably eat popcorn while watching TV! It will make you rich and destroy your enemies!
Oh God I am so sorry
cal: Is there any other kind?
lovekills: But remember, David Brooks says we are not “riven by class warfare.” So there. I guess we aren’t. Whew. But, um, about those soon-to-be unemployed GM workers….
cal: not angry sex. passionate, urgent sex. after which you lie together in the tangle of sheets and drink beer and laugh and laugh and laugh about the stupidity of the world.
have i given this too much thought?
cal: Totally.
Red Zeppelin: I think he’s already got Ann Coulter’s.
Colander: It’s cleaned up now.
DoctorCulturae: So true. It all makes me want to curl up in a ball and bawl. Don’t get me started about class warfare.
cal: In short, yes. He is a hot hot sexy little man who has the power to destroy my enemies with his one short finger and I would fuck his brains out.
Okay, now I am oversharing on the internet. But seriously, Rahm is teh sex.
Come trucknutz with us.
http://wonkette.chatango.com/
None of my friends like to read, so I couldn’t show them this. Inspired by an earlier comment.
tunamelt: No worries.
Rahm is like being hate fucked by a Harlequin Romance. Yummy!
OffTheRecord: I can’t wait until the Obama/Rahm RPS community revvs up in earnest on LJ.
OffTheRecord: also, natural shocker.
Colander: Makes sense he’s from Massachusetts.
Rahm’s got an ass rug toupe - borrowing a page from the Biden playbook
Between Rahm, Peter Orszag, Reggie Love, the Gibbster and the Big Guy himself, I’m in full-blown crush mode with this administration.
come join me on #wonkette on irc underdog.
Hi Art. First time caller, long time listener. I just have to say I am just so thrilled to get on the air with you. No sir, the honor is mine.
Now Art, a few months back you had a gentleman on your show named Major John Segevny, he was a retired Black Ops paratrooper with the Snoop Squad at the Skunk Works. That’s right, Art, that’s the guy. He was talking about the Coming of the Winds and whether they are connected with contrails and Rods.
Anyway I just wanted to ask you something that’s been bugging me ever since I heard that interview.
Is he the son-of-a-bitch who’s banging my ex-wife? I KNOW HE’S THE….
Damn. I wuz gonna go out and hump random boys in the bar, but now I think I’m gonna stay home and have pretend sexy-time with my new blingee boyfriend. If he were here, he’d tell me to go fuck myself, so . . .
God I fucking hate that Snuggie. It doesn’t even have a BACK. It is a blanket with holes! Every time I see that commercial I go in to a blind rage and wake up in a gutter four hours later, covered in blood and fuzz.
Well, you people are about as terrible as you are in the Cold Daylight, so carry on!
/Sorry to get all Atrios/Kos with the Night Thread, but we keep getting polite requests for this simple thing which hurts no-one (yet), so here it is. We shall see, tomorrow, if it should ever happen again.
Ken Layne: Next thing you know we’ll be live blogging american idol. It’s a slippery slope.
Did I miss something? AWESOME. This is the part of the night where there is a post about comments and there are comments about the post about comments. This requires more drinking. One moment.
Shhh, don’t say anything bad. Ken’s around.
A couple of those, and some scotch tape, and you could open up a shooting gallery in the Gaza Strip and make a FORTUNE!
Ah, the last refuge of the poltroon: open comments.
We need to see some sexy pix of Ken Starr, now that he and his Big Dick are back in the news.
jagorev: I would pay good money to slap the smug right off his face.
CNN has this:
Judge lets Brown, Rihanna have contact
I hope it’s not too close contact. Haha.
daisy chain: I kissed a girl and I liked it.
Warblog!? Shall we beastfuck a PUMA blog?
Rahm is hot jew action.
and poop! also.
Via TPM, Bloomberg, and then Washington Monthly (whew)
“President Barack Obama’s economic advisers are increasingly concerned about the U.S. Senate’s delay in confirming the nominations of Austan Goolsbee and Cecilia Rouse to the White House Council of Economic Advisers.
“It’s frustrating,” said Christina Romer, who heads the three-member CEA. “These are hard economic times and we desperately want to get them through the Senate and definitely on the job.”
Maybe they should appoint someone with more ‘American’ like names (ie., Bachmann or Wurzelbacher)! We already have a half-Kenyan President, a Mormon Senate leader, and a San Francisco Democrat House Speaker so naturally the nativists are concerned.
Where do I go to get just one buttseck? I’m not sure if I’m ready for a plurality of it/them/you.
wreckingball: Five bucks Nancy made Brad earn this press conference with a little you-know-what __ a night of hot lesbian sex with Angelina.
vkladchik: I have asked that question a million times. The answer is “middle earth,” but my FANCY warcraft avatar hasn’t gotten me there yet. I NEED MORE MANNA.
El Pinche: Jeebus the thought of sleeping with those people is, well, YES LET’S DO THAT ACTUALLY, I apologize for lacking appreciation in beast-fucking. It was racist against Big Foot and all, and we should be all about equality.
lorne: CHEMtrails! And stuff.
Bramlet Abercrombie: Dear God. I have a friend who owns a print shop and his pressman and his own son listen to Alex Jones and every time I drop by I have to listen to that crap. All their cars are plastered with bumper stickers saying:
9/11 was an inside job
Ron Paul
Get US OUT of the UN
Ron Paul
etc.
I emailed them the link to Colbert’s segment on Glenn Beck’s ‘War Room’ that aired last night. With Colbert’s followup ‘Dungeon of Doom’.
chascates: Good move! Except you know they will only “wake you up” to the fact that Colbert is one of the Rothschilds or some such - oh, well.
Ken Layne: WHAT? I thought we would be more terrible after dark. We aren’t drinking enough.
Double Scorpion: The key is to smoke enough pot early on in the day (around 10:42 a.m.), than MAKE SURE to start eating ecstasy, immediately after lunch. By the time that important meeting rolls around at 3:30 p.m., consume as much heroin as possible.
When you get into the car that night, make sure to remember to drink as much as you can before turning on the vehicle. This is necessity, mind you.
As soon as you get home, eat the plastic bag that you kept the pot in from the morning, and with the utmost care concoct some foreign brand of meth. After you combine the alcohol with the meth, start commenting. I, for one, welcome my soon-to-be daily recession routine overlord.
Off-topic (wait, is there a topic for Wonkette’s Late-Nite Shotz After Dark?)
The Onion is now stealing ideas from the National Review Online:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/epa_shuts_down_local_ghost
Ha, Coast to Coast AM! I once met Art Bell at a MUFON gathering in the middle of nowhere (Seguin, TX!). Those were the days of smoking pot all day…sort of like a shortshortshorts blogger day without meth and heron. This guy was there, too. All we need was Alex Jones…then it would have been the trifecta of koo koo, but we would have ended up at XTC Cabaret. (Jones loves the boobies).
WindbagCity: Upon further review, it’s the other way around!!
http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=OWM0ZTFjODc0ZWYzOTI5ZmM3YjFkMjVlNzA0ZGQzYjc=
OMG THE NRO STOLE THEIR STUPID PREMISE FROM THE ONION!!
While doing this research, I stumbled across the NRO’s “all-time” list of Best Conservative Movies (hint: it includes both “It’s A Wonderful Life” AND “Star Wars”!)
http://www.nationalreview.com/conservative_movies/conservative_movies.shtml
Hmm, if I had found a way to tie in Lord of The Rings, we could have pushed the comment count to 500 by dawn, easy. Little help?
WindbagCity: Also, the list includes ‘Quo Vadis’ at #7, also.
ASL?
El Pinche: I’ll have to agree with one of Hoagland’s Mission Statements:
• We have no intention of ending our own lives.
I like the Blingee… sort of establishes a theme for those who need something resembling a topic to get their drunken fingers typing.
While I’ll concede that Rahmbo is pretty hot for a nearly 50 year old nine-fingered Jew, he’s by no means got a lock on sexy in this administration. I would expect him to give the best hate fuck though.
Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: It didn’t work for me. Like— totally sober right now. WHAT DOES TO MEAN. Jeebus you have to dumb these things down @ Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: OH MAN KEEP DOING THAT AND SUCH. HAR HAR HAR I am very drunk Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: JEEBUS DOOD I KNOW I keep calling, but can I borrow like, 500 bucks? I’m totally strapped right now. Right on.
Sorry to you, Vanity Smurf. You have been the subject of tonight’s “Jeebus Christ I am an Alcoholic” segment, brought to you by David Vitter.
Ken Layne: Thank you for providing this overnight litter, er, sandbox.
Vanity Smurf: This is where letters to district reps go after they realize they may not be elected again, possibly.
WindbagCity: Ooh, science advisor for Coast-to-Coast. That’s gotta be about as useful a job as being Bob Dylan’s vocal coach. Or Alberto Gonzales’ job counselor. Or Michael Steele’s assertiveness trainer.
Wooo! Just got back from whistler for a late night thread! ROCK!
Ken Layne: Ken, as long as you’re here, I’ve always wanted to ask you; Is its fun being a billionaire?
Total power-bottom.
The butter ad is grossing me out.
Jesus christ what are you people doing up? Don’t you all have jerbs? It’s 3:30am where I am & I’m about to sit down & watch 11th Hour, a stupid show but I love me some Rufus Sewell. Wish I could say it’s a quiet night south of Austin but the goddamn wind is blowing like it’s fucking El Paso here.
I thought I’d be totally into this late night thing, and I will be, but just as with every other thread my comment is last or thereabouts due to my habit of staying up all night and sleeping all day. I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars. Actually no. I don’t drink much, had to give up the needle. Now all I got is an extremely subtle sort-of high for about an hour each night after the suboxone dissolves under my tongue, when I get all my chores done. I wear an onion on my belt, cuz that’s the style these days.
Tomorrow night I’m going straight for the late-night post and getting my inanity in early. Maybe. Gotta beat my wife at Lexulous a few times first.
It’s 4:45 am here. And no, don’t have a job as of this week. They told us Thursday that Friday would be our last day. Haha, one day notice. Isn’t that illegal or somethin?
But it’s cool.
Oh, the pain of insomnia or the virtues of getting up early, whichevs.
Dammit, Herr Layne, you’re at least supposed to give a one-word topic, like ‘TruckNutz’. Or is that two words? Hypenations count, hence ‘ass-fucking’.
Male nipples are the obvious proof that Intelligent Design is hooey, since they serve no purpose other than ‘hubba’. And we all know God doesn’t approve of that. In conclusion: boobies.
Hey, what did I miss?
PLEASE Wonkette, do not let this open thread thing continue. I get Kos chills anytime I see Open threads.
Ken Layne: Please don’t let it happen again. You need to do the exact oppposite of whatever Confluence/Pumapac/Nameyoursuckyblog here. This is why we like you!
Well that happened.
Reading this, I have to go take a shower. It’s not you, it’s all the references to Kos. Yech. Or a mikva, or whatever the hell’s Rahm’s ritual bath golden showers thing is called.
While AM radio is by/for/of the crazies of the world, going to coasttocoastam.com every morning is a critical part of being an informed citizen. It’s not like the MSM is going to cover the Mexican veterinary assistant who caught a baby chupacabra in a homemade trap.
chascates: Yeah, Alex Jones is annoying, but he is also right. 9/11 was an inside job. Not snarking, just remarking.
BREAKING: UNEMPLOYMENT JUMPED TO 120% (per CNN)
Look at the fun I miss by actually sleeping.
I just wanted to say: Rush Limbaugh! Rush Limbaugh! Rush Limbaugh!
Funny how that always makes me laugh.
Ah, light! Glorious, merciful night! With the arrival of Dawn, the Vampyres are in retreat, and I live to scavenge food in this eldritch wasteland for another day!
Arrgghhh! I missed it! I miss everything…
Basket of pain fries!
Here’s my Richard Hoagland-esque anatomy of Republicans.
1. Drones: Listeners of Hannity, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh. They actually believe the Republican policies will help the country and a Taliban state is the best thing for the country.*
2. Overlords: Rush and Hannity are overlords. Overlords control the drones.**
3. Elite Overlords: pseudo-intellectuals like Bill Kristol, Karl Rove, National Review, Larry Kudlow, etc. They control the drones that read a little bit.
The common thread between the overlords is that they don’t believe Republicanism works for the country. They know it only benefits themselves and the Rich.
* What’s lower than a drone? A PUMA! They support everyone that disagrees with Obama..even Jim Kramer. They’re the fruit flies of politics.
** Beck is not an overlord. He’s actually a glorified drone.
TGY: Male nipples = decoys. To attract other nipples.
AxmxZ: Dude. http://community.livejournal.com/rahmbamarama/
Has like 2k+ members. One of which is me.
Please put me on the ‘Fuck Rahm Furiously’ list. I’ll pretend he has a vagina. I refuse to be constrained by binary gender concerns. Pfeh.
slinkimalinki: Send photo. No fatties, druggies or weirdos.
Bangers and Mash.
There, I said it!
frumious_bandersnatch: …You really shouldn’t have shown me that. Now I’ll never get anything done.
AxmxZ: You’re most welcome! This administration is far too hot not to be widely appreciated.