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SHOW US THE DOODLES: “A massive archive of Clintonian doodles exists somewhere. In the absence of any other information, a reasonable person might easily conclude that President Clinton’s doodles are so horrifying, so shocking, or so repulsive that it would ruin his legacy forever were they ever to be made public.” [NBC New York]
12:00 PM
on Thu March 5 2009
By
Sara K. Smith
779 Views
Wonkette
Boobs.
It depends on what the meaning of “doddle” is.
ManchuCandidate:
…and about 1,300 drawings of a Big Mac and Fries.
So, without ANY other information besides “Clinton drew some doodles”, they decided that they must be completely filthy and disgusting? I’d love for the doodles to be released and just be like some basic shapes.
Buddy looks like he’s been taking a few too many lessons from Monica.
I think one of the doodles ended up on a blue dress.
Dogs tend to like the smell of butthole, so ‘lord’ only knows what Bill and Hilary had just been up to.
They are all of a naked Hillary.
masterdebater: Darn it…doodle. Screwed up a perfectly good joke, again, with my crappy typing skills. I will punish myself by returning to work!
Clinton drew on his doodle?
In 2002 I was allowed, under a FOI request, to examine the Clinton doodles held in the National Archive. I was not allowed to take notes, nor was I allowed to introduce any photographic equipment or recording devices. The documents were placed in a glass case, and a curator was assigned to me should I wish to have the document turned over or see another document. The lighting conditions were horrific, and the room was icy cold.
Nonetheless, what I saw that day terrified me. The doodles painted so horrific a picture of the tortured mind of a man who for 8 years had his finger on the nuclear button, that immediately upon exiting the Archives I vomited into a trash can. I staggered out the door and onto the street. From that moment one, everything changed for me. I could not look at people’s faces the same way I had before. If a stranger approached me on the sidewalk coming the in opposite direction I would purposefully cross the street to avoid him. Cold things felt unbearably hot in my hands, and hot hings felt as icy cold death. Humanity was as a river of petty, despicable, ignorant souls flowing past to me, an oozing excretion slithering through the subways, crowding me at the bus stop like a swarming mass of hungry leeches.
But do I confess, dear reader, to my own despicable audacity? Yes, I will. For back at the Archives, in a moment of absent minded distraction when the curator who was assigned to me removed the Clinton doodles from the vault in which they are kept, he failed to notice a small post-it-note that slipped out of the envelope as he opened it to retrieve the first drawing. I noticed htat it fell face down, so upon exiting I made a point of stepping upon it that the sticky part might adhere to my shoe as I exited. I was careful to not left it become dislodged, and when I was able to without being seen, I peeled it off the bottom of my shoe and placed it in my pocket.
I scanned this horrific item into my computer, dear reader, and placed it on the web that all might glimpse a small portion of the horror that I imbibed that accursed day. And here, mi friend is a link to it. Do no click it unless you are fully prepared to despise everything that surrounds you, to hate your family, to wish ill upon newborns pushed about in their stroller, to curse the day you were born!!!! LINK.
…COCK-a-doodle? Sorry, low hanging fruit and all.
Serolf Divad: An eldritch tale if there ever was one.
Bill’s Doodle
Ken Starr actually seized them and will be holding them for impeachment proceedings should Hillary ever ascend to the presidency.
Serolf Divad: Actually I was quite relieved to see that. I was expecting something more like this.
Colander: I was thinking HP Lovecraft. Who’s this Eldritch guy ur talkin about?
masterdebater: doodle, doddle, diddle, doesn’t matter.
Serolf Divad:
Eric Cartman and Shub N’ggurath: Separated at Birth?
Please have Bill put his doodles away.
I think Pickles just left W’s doodles in his Baby Bjorn trainer.
When do we get to see the McCain debate doodles though? He was in a stabby doodling rage at the final one and I wanna see what he drew, dammit!
SpirolinaAgnew: Nothing interesting. He’s just an “O-filler.”
Wow! His colostomy bag looks just like a chocolate lab.
Colander: Dog is just thinking, that pretty girl with yellow hair who walks me sometimes is living inside this man’s pants. I know I smell her in there!
Serolf Divad: At least it wasn’t goatse.