PAUL HARVEY … DEAD: “He had a face for radio and the political compass of the Inquisition. Born to a long line of Baptist preachers, he became the biggest snake oil salesmen of them all. Although known as a full-bore right wing nut, he broke with Nixon on Cambodia and (so he claimed) Joe McCarthy on some minor point or another.” [AOL Political Machine]
AND NOW YOU KNOW ... HE'S DEAD 12:04 am March 1, 2009
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{ 100 comments }
No one could talk ads as if they were the news like this dude.
A right wing kook, no doubt, but a lovable right wing kook. I never thought this guy would ever die. I remember listening to this guy every noon at KENI in Anchorage, thinking that he spoke God’s own truth. The urban legend industry will miss one of its most productive members. R.I.P. Paul, and….good day!
Yeah, I sort of forgot about how old he was. RIP, regardless of everything.
I guess we finally know the rest of the story.
“And… that’s the rest of the story… MUTHAFUKAS!!!” (Drops mike)
Seriously, a friend and I were taking bets on whether this “death announcement” is merely a seamless segue into a commercial for Select Comfort coffins, or if he’s going for the longest pause in broadcast history.
“For what it’s worth, Paul Harvey Aurandt of Phoenix, Arizona, decided he needed to rest his bones… What better way than with a… new… Select Comfort coffin… I’m sure the salesman who sold it would want us to mention his name…”
And that, is the end of the story.
[re=255599]pepe[/re]: [re=255601]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Can we call it a three-way tie?
[re=255596]DangerousLiberal[/re]: some background on the kook-ery for the uninitiated: http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=1394
Paul Harvey: Dead, but not dead enough in my opinion.
I thought he was already dead. My heart went all a flutter when I read a headline elsewhere , “Conservative Radio Personality Dead” . I imagined Rush Limbaugh convulsing while holding his fat pig heart and keeling over on youtube. now el pinche haz a sad. And I can’t drink because I’m on antibiotics.
[re=255606]El Pinche[/re]: Ditto!
They jes doan make wingnuts like they useta.
Aw, a part of my childhood innocence died the day I figured out most of his stories were fakes. Although I should of guessed someone who transitioned so seamlessly to commercials was probably lying about most things.
[re=255613]gurukalehuru[/re]: He was at least an amiable nutter, which is more than I will ever say for Rush or Hannity.
This is just another radio stunt. With Obama president, he just wanted to prove he was better dead than red.
Here is the ending to Harvey’s broadcast that was scheduled for Monday, but, sadly, will never be heard:
And that little boy who so bravely stood up with the Sheriff against the terrible Republican bureaucrats and offered to be arrested so that some people could be saved grew up to be the Governor of Louisiana. And now you know the rest of the story.
Gooooooooooooooooood Night!
[re=255617]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: …some guys will do anything for ratings…
When I was a kid I always thought Paul Harvey was just a harmless buffoon, but during the Reagan era his newscasts developed a sinister RW-tooly aura. Bill Oh’Really is a essentially a dumbed-downed blathered-up version of Harvey, goofy inflections and all. News made for and by the mentally-challenged.
Not to speak ill of the dead, but you know it generally helps to keep your rightwing nuts separate, and naming them after bodily functions helps. Thus where Rush and Orally have the honors of being the worst things that can happened to you physically (torrential diarrhea, etc), a “Paul Harvey” is passing gas whilst sitting down and, in the male, gently lifting one’s ball’s sack with that wind.
Other than that, fine mixture of sarcasm, malice, and touch there Layne.
[re=255606]El Pinche[/re]: Rush will die from a Viagra overdose.
Sad to hear that one of the last legendary radio comedians has passed on Back in the 70′s I listened to him on KVEC at lunch, sometimes choked on my sandwich from laughing. I can see why he lost toch with the conservative mainstream- he loved his one wife and didn’t do drugs, kids or gay prostitutes.
[re=255602]WindbagCity[/re]: The chicken gun was at Goodyear Aerospace (now Loral) near Phoenix. Paul could’ve done a fact check in his own backyard. It was one of the offbeat tourist attractions of the place, not too far from Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s tent jail.
Until proven otherwise, I remain convinced this actually happened years ago.
As much as I respect him, Harvey was way to out of touch.
I will always associate Paul Harvey and, by extension, Bose with the smell of barbershops, because that’s the only place I ever heard the names.
[re=255602]WindbagCity[/re]: Zoinks! The (urban) legends were true!
…only the good die young….
[re=255602]WindbagCity[/re]: Thanks Windbag.
Man, with some of these obits posted in Wonkette, you’d think Master Layne was older than 14 or something.
Christ, I didn’t know he was even still around. Back in the late 70′s, a bunch of friends in college used to listen to him and laugh about his general weirdness. I could never fathom what the attraction was about him, outside of the fact that he sounded like he was broadcasting from the Eisenhower era.
He IS failing us girls.
The original dittohead. RIP and all that stuff.
Page Two…
Today we are all erotic Americans.
Mr. Imus, please move to the front of the line.
WIN!
I had totally forgotten him!
The rest of the story is … they fixed the time of death as … 1958.
I cannot think of a single comment ever made, even back in the day when there was nothing else on AM before clearchannel brought in WNOE in the evenings, by this Paul Harvey. He talked very slow and melodramtically and there was never any payoff. He was like a pitcher who spent his entire career on the windup and never delivered.
As Hemingway said of Norman Mailer: Bad cheese pretentiously wrapped.
I swear to god that I heard Paul Harvey say, in the run-up to the 2000 election, that W. would sell the country for a “bottle of cheap booze.” I’m pretty sure those quotes are exact.
But I can’t find any references to it online.
Tune into station 666 WDEVL for our newest talk show host!
too early?
Fortunately for him he succeeded in fulfilling his mission to never dine with a person of color. Huzzah!
Dead people are mostly Republicans. Now get off my lawn, er..grave!
Who’s going to replace him? For some reason, I have odds on Tucker Carlson. He’s young enough that he could stay at it for thirty or forty years, & has the respectable winger schtick to a science.
Wow, Ken gets his epitaph written early, courtesy of AOL commenter RustyShackleford:
When Ken Layne does his tax return, and he gets to the “occupation” box, he should write the word JERK…be good little Obamatons and air up your tires. Don’t forget those French lessons. Merci beau coup.
Hopefully, these things come in threes.
[re=255700]josereyes.theroof[/re]:
His 67 year old son seem to be the heir apparent.
My fond memories of being bored out of my mind whenever I heard his clipped cadences as a child are marred by his call to nuke someone in the Middle East in response to 9-11.
Ken, stop with the hagiography. After NPR’s hatchet job on the original Paultard this morning, I’m not sure I can stand that treacly hommage over on AOL (is that still around?)
The comments are great:
kenlayne –i sincerely hope you and your ilk are not truly representative of everyone elses new hope for a brighter future for our nation
Damn, that’s cold. Are we the “ilk?”
[re=255709]Crankenstank[/re]: Who brought Coulter into the discussion? Oh, sorry. I missed the “i” in hagiography.
[re=255662]Cape Clod[/re]: Wow. Sounds like we were likely temporal and geographic contemporaries. Were you listening to Mr. Harvey on WBZ? I’m pretty sure Paul was the only broadcaster who could make a listener pine for the dulcet tones of Johnny Most.
[re=255706]rocktonsammy[/re]: A legacy!
Now that’s the American way.
How can anything pertaining to Joe McCarthy be considered ‘minor’?
[re=255718]Servo[/re]: Oh, I can think of a few possibilities wherein ‘minor’ would be appropriate:
–His reserves of scruples.
–His capacity for resisting the urge to drink himself into a stupor.
–The ideological/moral difference between him and the contemporary AM radio lynch mob.
See? It’s easy once you get started!
Hello Americans! Stand by for….NEWS!
The best part was the way he’d fill out the last seconds of his fifteen-minute broadcast at noon, with an endless pauses so he’d finish right on time, and then…..Good DAY!
[re=255706]rocktonsammy[/re]: And wasn’t this the son who didn’t go to Viet Nam? A concern pianist also.
The wingnuts are back! I like how most comments amount to: “Ken Layne, you are so mean for insulting _________, whom I like–I will now procede to insult you after talking about how insulting people is bad.” or “Ken Layne, how dare you insult the dead! I wish you were dead, and would continue to insult you!”
Logic, also?
And speaking of David Denby-esque dinguses who (selectively) CAN’T STAND snarky criticism of people on the Internets, our Wonkette was mentioned in the Washington Post today with relation to Snark:
“At least one of Denby’s targets has taken offense at his accusations. In “Snark,” Denby chastises political gossip blog Wonkette for riffing on Sen. Ted Kennedy’s alcohol consumption on the day of his brain surgery. Wonkette responded to the scolding (yes, snarkily) by pointing out that the post in question was actually written months before the surgery, and accused Denby of practicing the sloppy journalism he says he abhors in snarkers.”
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Paul Harvey’s “Good Day” will now be replaced by John McLaughlin’s “BYE BYE!”
Paul Harvey: Rest In Whatever, I Don’t Really Give A Fuck
For all of you that wish that Rush Limpdick had died instead of Paul Harvey, I say fear not. I’ve seen recent photos of Rush and he appears to be getting Really fat again. The next time he travels to the island of Hispaniola for some Viagra fueled fun with various prostitutes his evil diseased heart will finally give out on him.
However, no wingnut trolls in here lately. My theory is that they’re distracted by the “Democratic Stimulus Package” ad crotch shot .
[re=255727]Atheist Nun[/re]: I love you.
Damn, and you assbags accuse the right of being hateful. The man is dead & yet you still bitch and moan. I can’t wait until that geriatric VP kicks the bucket so we can laugh it up at his expense. Man, will that be funny or what??!! I can’t wait!!! That will be so great when he’s dead!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Looks stupid on the other foot, huh??
Damn, and you @ssbags accuse the right of being hateful. The man is dead & yet you still bitch and moan. I can’t wait until that geriatric VP kicks the bucket so we can laugh it up at his expense. Man, will that be funny or what??!! I can’t wait!!! That will be so great when he’s dead!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Looks stupid on the other foot, huh??
PJ jr is 61 not 67 and has longevity in his genes.
Hoping Rush ain’t so blessed.
[re=255737]El Pinche[/re]: And the always eloquent JediNight69 makes a return!!!
Wow, you guys are jerks.
[re=255733]dano[/re]:
‘ Fingers crossed.’
[re=255744]chascates[/re]: To prep, one must watch one hour of Beck, then one hour of Hannity followed by 2 hours of Rush Limpballs radio. You can optionally watch Larry the Cable guy on CMT. This is followed a binge eating two pounds of Elmers Paste. The final preparation step to become an AOL wingnut is to hit one’s self in the head with a brick.
[re=255746]alkaline[/re]: [re=255741]KingChris[/re]:
Oh yeah, well Reagan was an ASSHOLE and he is DEAD. What do you think about that ? HENNNGGGGHHH!!!!!?
[re=255741]KingChris[/re]: [re=255746]alkaline[/re]:
It annoys me when people come to Wonkette and act like this isn’t our M.O. Yes, this is Wonkette and we love to get our hate-snark on. It’s more productive than taking our hate out on the economy (Phil Gramm, I’m talking to you). Any questions?
Mr-Ken-Layne, your AOL commenters make me want to kill myself.
Fuck, I don’t think I even got the punctuation right.
I caught his show while randomly scanning the radio a few months ago and was shocked to hear he was still kicking. He was one of the first impersonations I ever did. I was also surprised to hear how slanted his news content was and how factually challenged some of his stories were. Mostly because I hadn’t really thought about him at all since I was about ten.
[re=255741]KingChris[/re]: Looks stupid on the other foot, huh??
No, just when you do it.
[re=255741]KingChris[/re]: [re=255746]alkaline[/re]: BTW
Welcome to Wonkette!
“And that little boy who nobody liked grew up to be… Roy Cohn. And now you know the rest of the story.”
[re=255741]KingChris[/re]:
after 8 years of W, hard to argue with you babe.
[re=255740]KingChris[/re]: So according to you my believe that Adolph Hitler was a disgusting person is wrong and hateful because he is dead?
That is a pretty “interesting” point of view you have there.
[re=255760]norbizness[/re]: I would think an urban legend about Roy Cohn would involve the AIDS slipping a pill in his drink, stealing his kidney, and dumping him in a bathtub full of ice.
Aw, c’mon. Harvey’s been dead for 37 years only no one noticed. Except my mother and she’s been dead for 19 years.
He gets added to the list of “Wha? I thought he was already dead”, like Alan Simpson or Jerry Lewis.
“You are a word terrorist.”
I believe this phrase has a bright future.
[re=255757]El Pinche[/re]: Ann needs to practice her mispelling.
I always thought his staccatto style was kinda creepy, and his obvoius right wing Christian political bias a little too much like a cross between Ronald Regan and Jim Bakker for my taste.
I only wish Sean Hannity and Bill Oreilley could join him in his new mansion in the sky.
Very soon.
[re=255689]fridzappa[/re]: Since everything one reads on the Internet is true, read this:
http://www.attheoak.net/electionday.html
[re=255775]chascates[/re]: ;) Oh, but she’s funny!
“Page Three”, and good riddance.
This creep originated “product placement”. For radio. Another blowhard populist bites the dust. Look out, Al Roker.
[re=255773]bago[/re]: I’m no memeticist, but that was my first thought upon reading that glorious phrase.
I listened to the guy during the 1960′s as a teenager before I found out his brand of politics. I don’t wish death upon anyone. Let him rest in peace. As for his politics, well I don’t subscribe tio them.
Now the Republiklan party not only appears the party of Hoover but the party of Hoover and Bush.
[re=255769]smellyal8r[/re]: Or Abe Vigoda — http://www.abevigoda.com/
Paul Harvey begat Rush Limbaugh. Or to put it another way, Rush was Paul Harvey on steroids, with off the hook megalomania, multiple oxycontin prescriptions, self-hatred and Dominican trannies in knee pads and KY jelly.
Has anyone noticed that Rush Limbaugh is looking a good deal like Gertrude Stein. What is up with that?!?
Here’s a thought: his odd cadences, plasticized hair, and “faithful monogamous marriage” all point to one thing: that he was gay as a tree full of parrots, and bravely led the way for the scores of closeted wingnuts whose anxiety about the disposition of their own precious bodily fluids gave rise to the rich tapestry that is modern American fascism. Just a thought.
[re=255773]bago[/re]: Methinks “you are a word terrorist” should be the new Godwin’s law. But first we have to spread the word. Terrorist.
I think today we are all word terrorists.
“Highlights”…apparently he named himself after a magazine for home schooling.
Someone angrily told “Dick Licker” he should be called “Dick Sucker.” OOOOhhh, no he didn’t!
[re=255779]Bearbloke[/re]:
No, I didn’t see this on the internets, I actually remember hearing this on the radio.
Now, my memory might be mistaken, this was over 8 years ago. It stuck in my mind because it was so surprising.
Maybe it was a parody, but I don’t think so.
Someone here must know.
Best comment yet:
“Mr. Layne,
You are strange.”
Hmmm. I do have a select comfort bed and a Bose acoustic wave clock radio???
And now, the rest of the story:
I thought he was an amusing clown until Gulf War I when he was opining that we should drop a neutron bomb on Baghdad to save the infrastructure but eliminate any potential threat to our soldiers. I guess his love of people doesn’t extend beyond our borders.
[re=255826]Clancy_Pants[/re]:
I don’t know Clancy – if I or a loved one was one of those soldiers, the neutron bomb idea might have seemed like a good thought at the time….
This man made my ears bleed. When he came on the radio I couldn’t change the channel fast enough. Of course, my RW nut of a husband loved him…
I saw the ‘breaking news’ of his demise Saturday evening and immediately called my dad to share the sad news. As the phone rang I realized I mixed up Paul Harvey with Art Bell of creepy Pahrump supernatural fame so I felt like a fool. I told my dad that Paul Harvey died and his reply was ‘who cares? that guy was an asshole’. I hung up and put on my Bose Wave Radio in honor of that asshole.
[re=255834]Phoenix[/re]: Geez I guess you’re right.. Laying radioactive waste to a civilian population center like Baghdad does sound like a good way to punish a psycho dictator who just invaded another sovereign nation. My bad.
I hated his smug conservatism, but I was just fascinated by the rest of his show. I imagined him as one of those people who never ever replaced anything that still functioned as originally intended, like his studio was a living museum of radio history. In my mind he existed in a dusty gray bubble universe that smelled like cigarettes and licorice snaps, and there were wrinkled farmers in round-fendered trucks who turned up the volume, and straw-haired men in coveralls who stopped their chatter at the feed store to hear his report.
You didn’t have to like the slanted news or product shilling (I forget the name of that vacuum cleaner he was always hawking on his show, like it was the superhuman offspring of biogenetics and nuclear science…), but everyone loved ‘the rest of the story.’
He was the last person on earth who could wrap himself in the American flag and you knew he believed in it, even if it didn’t always measure up.
Paul Harvey was conservative alright, but he was a saint and an honest broker compared to today’s breed of talk pundit. Though I’m a liberal with a capitol “L”, I enjoyed listening to him. He never carried a grudge and wasn’t angry like so many voices on the air today. Like Joe Pyne, who was perhaps the first notable conservative talking head, he could surprise you with his opinions and would attack racist when many so many other conservatives, or liberals for that matter, were afraid to speak out. Rest in Peace Paul Harvey
[re=255739]MarieDeGournay[/re]: Sweet talk like that might earn you a peek at my TRUCK NUTZ…
[re=255746]alkaline[/re]: “Wow, you guys are jerks.” Did you also get offended by the nekkid bewbs the first time someone took you into a strip club?
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