Wonkette
This is an actual panel, being held today, at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference. There are no words. [CPAC 2009]
THEY FORGOT REVEREND WRIGHT
I fail to understand how a woody tree nut has any effect on the American electoral system
To quote Rachel Maddows: “uh, budduh, beduh, debuh, bleh.”
Conservative missed opportunity: Al FranCORN
you can laugh, but it’s true! people running for office and other people voting is exactly what is wrong with this country!
i personally have terrorized the nation by voting regularly for more than 17 years, you will never catch me!
Even Tweety went off on CPAC, last night, calling it a science fiction convention.
That nasty Al Franken….he’s probably plotting the downfall of America RIGHT NOW as he shovels his driveway in Minnesota. Where he’s currently sort of unemployed.
Now what will Rush Limbaugh, George Will, and Michelle Malkin do with that headline?
Here’s a look at the Chair of that panel. She’s not exactly an intellectual heavyweight. http://soonerhippy.blogspot.com/2006/10/cleta-mitchell-gets-her-ass-spanked-on.html
Nothing is more dangerous to the American Election Sytem than voter registration drives. Except teh gays. Gays always vote twice, and they usually vote against themselves the second time because they are self-hating athiests. Gays voted Bobby Jindal into office because they hate America and because all Hindu Muslins are gay, also.
wavingnotdrowning: Better copyright that shit before CPAC gets their hands on it.
From the category “If you repeat it enough times, it becomes true.”
I see the conference is being held at a Ballroom. There will be dancing and such?
Somehow, I don’t see republicans having a good time, getting down.
In keeping with conservative values, this conference should be held in the parking lot of a Walmart.
They are so right. Ever since the Republicans ended the Three-Fifths compromise, the Democrat Party has abused the voting system. Only the RIGHT sort of people should be allowed to vote
Their “Web 2.0 Conference- Sponsored by Pajamas Television
Panelists: Stephen Green, Margaret Hoover, Andrew Klavan, Deroy Murdock, Alfonzo Rachel, Roger Simon, Joe Wurzelbacher (ask Joe the Plumber”
Is- as far as I can tell not being broadcast online, the only streaming video is http://www.ustream.tv/channel/townhall-presents-cpac-2009
The comments people write are fairly amusing
I wonder which version of the truth they will use to present facts about all the voter fraud.
GET THE TRUTH OUT ABOUT SOCIAL ACORN MUSLIM COMMUNIST FASCISTS.
Fucking retards. HOORAY FOR US!
AL FRNKLINZ IS ABUSING TEH ELECTORATE WITH DEEZNUTZ!
He’s a squirrel yo.
Hip hop branding, Also.
shortsshortsshorts: STOP STEALINS MY CAPZ!
Satire is dead? No, just the need for satirists. Now all we have to do is point and laugh. And realize that now, finally, nobody is listening to these dipshits. And laugh again.
The ‘ACORN and Frankin’ lecture is being delivered by someone named Hans von Spakovsky of The Heritage Foundation.
I have no other comment.
Every passing day, I’m more and more convinced that Willie Wonka is running the GOP. And not the pimpin’ Gene Wilder version, either.
And, of course, Joe the Plumber, will be there to give his advice.
Don’t be pickin’ on Cleta.
shanemacgowan:
Lobbying for Foreign Agents and Foreign Principals (Capitol Learning Audio Course) by TheCapitol.Net, Cleta Mitchell, and Alan Rutenberg
And at the CPAC Convention half-time show Joe The Trader Santelli rants about the stimulus bill. Bon Appetit! PS: You know all the wingnuts flew there on a 50 million luxury jet, & have some high class working girls for the evening entertainment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEZB4taSEoA
Al Franken and ACORN: How Liberals are Destroying the American Election System …and how Jesus will leave them here to rot after the Rapture. THE END IS NEAR!
There are no words.
Here’s a word: “Morans”
This is why we need voter suppression, now!
Thank god they’re addressing the “Fairness Doctrine” with these three hard hitting, serious, Journalists:
Joe Scarborough
Roger Hedgecock
Tucker Carlson
Also.
I hope Joe Biden the moral money overseer is keeping tabs on their lil soiree.
Bring your own acorns to hurl at the screen.
*****
Sarah Palin Unplugged on the Media - Video Interview
Diplomat Ballroom
Sponsored by “Media Malpractice” Movie
PRESIDENTIAL BANQUET
Regency Ballroom
Master of Ceremonies: Rep. Michelle Bachmann (MN)
Oh what I would give to be a fly on the wall……..
Aw, dammit, this explains why there’ve been so many more douchey college Republican types on the Metro the last few days. (Hey you fucks, if you don’t think the government should be involved in providing public transportation, maybe you *shouldn’t use it.*)
Other highlights of the convention:
“The Key to Victory? Listen to Conservatives”
“PRESIDENTIAL BANQUET - Master of Ceremonies: Rep. Michelle Bachmann (MN)”
“Youth for Western Civilization Inaugural Reception - Speakers: Rep.Tom Tancredo, Bay Buchanan, Pat Buchanan (invited)”
“Bailing Out Big Business: Are We All Socialists Now?”
“Will Congress Take Your Guns?”
“Movie Screening with Newt Gingrich: Ronald Reagan: Rendezvous with Destiny”
“Kevin McCullough, Book Signing – The Kind of Man Every Man Should Be: Taking a Stand for True Masculinity”
“Will Obama’s Tax Policy Kill Entrepreneurship?”
“Movie Screening with The Heritage Foundation”
“How Many Crimes Did You Commit Today?
Hon. Asa Hutchinson
Tim Lynch, Cato Institute*
Paul Rosenzweig, Department of Homeland Security*
Moderator: Pat Nolan, Prison Fellowship Ministries*”
“God and Man at CPAC: The Enduring Legacy of William F. Buckley”
“Conservatism 2.0 Conference
Sponsored by Pajamas Television
The conservative answer to The View hosted by Kellyanne Conway, Mary Anne Marsh, Michelle Malkin and Jeri Thompson”
“The True Cost Of Global Warming Hysteria - Moderator: Andrew Breitbart, Breitbart.com’s Big Hollywood”
“Presentation of Defender of the Constitution Award - Recipient: Rush Limbaugh”
I DID NOT MAKE ANY OF THESE THINGS UP.
shanemacgowan: I think that CPAC has the right person to head that panel based on the intellectual paucity and complete lack of wit that she shows in the clip.
Although based on the clip’s headline I thought I was going to see some real BDSM spanking.
Excuse me, Mr. Plumber? May I call you Joe? Can you get me a free Sham-wow?
Note the last speaker:
Building the Conservative Hispanic Coalition
Ambassador Ballroom
Mario Lopez, Hispanic Leadership Fund
Danny Vargas, Republican National Hispanic Assembly
Mario Diaz, Concerned Women for America
WhatTheHeck: Are you kinding? Wait until Dj M-Steele starts spinning Wild Cherry’s ‘Play That Funky Music, White Boy’. That convention is going to be off da hook.
hockeymom: Get it straight! We haven’t had snowfall in a week, and Al Franken would not have put off shoveling until now. Also, we’re expecting snow this afternoon/tonight, and it would be dumb of Al to shovel just BEFORE or DURING a snowstorm. You shovel AFTER them.
hockeymom: Also I will hire him to shovel my drive this weekend so he will have a jorb.
m_supercomputer: It’s like the Bizarro Mensa Convention
S.Luggo: Wow, man they are serious about that subjugation shit, huh?
m_supercomputer: Don’t forget the “Public Speaking Workship” at 3:00. Seems that ship’s gone down with Jindal already.
I am SO FUCKING SICK of this ACORN shit. My boss was railing against ACORN yesterday, which is fucking ironic, because she’s a bankruptcy lawyer and ACORN does nefarious things around here like help keep our clients in their homes and make sure they have heat and food. The funny thing is, I never heard about the many evils of ACORN from her before WALNUTS started talking shit. These people are true idiots and hateful ones at that (nothing new, I know).
m_supercomputer: Comedy gold.
So much stupid in one location might just cause a rip in the space time continuum.
Hooray For Anything: Win.
I thought the Nazi’s were defeated in 1945? What, they all took a slow boat to D.C.? Josh Bolton Ugh.
Supercomputer: brilliante
Clearly, Repubs hate all furries. In SL the Rs are all BDSM prostitutes, obv.
Violenza: Try being stuck listening to Hannity while your wingnut dental hygienist is scraping your teeth, talk about frustrating. Couldn’t laugh, couldn’t yell, couldn’t even choke a bitch.
“Giving Money Away To Irresponsible Low-lifes(& sick people)” Catch phrases for 2010/2012. ~Dennis Miller
m_supercomputer: I was laughing until I got to the last sentence. Crying quietly now.
The mean part of me is hoping the convention gets cancelled due to a nearby volcanic eruption, cause, you know, the irony of it all. Also karma. And because they all suck.
PsycGirl: Actually it’s an art installation: an experiential version of the new DSM-V.
Hamster: My doctor not only had Michael Savage blasting throughout his offices, but once had a signed picture of Mr and Mrs. W thanking him for his generous donation predominately displaced in one of his waiting rooms. For some reason, he was always concerned about my high blood pressure.
I’m going to show up late so I can see Wrenn Mangum, Elvis Impersonator. Oh, I’m sorry, I mean Elvis Presley Tribute Artist and Rockabilly Singer.
And wait, weren’t the parents of these culture warriors once burning Elvis’ records because he was suggestively shaking his hips on Ed Sullivan?
Looking forward to the Marilyn Manson tribute artist at CPAC 2043.
m_supercomputer: Breitbart on climate science? That’s…entertainment.
Hooray For Anything:
Piuysh Windel, go back to your Anti-Bellum Castle in La. You’re just mad cuz your buds called you out for your eeky performance in your rebuttal the other night. (including your God David Broder, & your handler Ed Rollins, who is no longer handling you)
What? No buttseks with minors demonstration? You call this CPAC?
m_supercomputer: Where’s Katherine Harris?
Check out “Youth for Western Civilization” on the cpac agenda. Their facebook (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=12462690189) has some wonderful little comments, such as the following:
“Great group you’ve got here. I think one of the main messages should be that its OK to be of European descent, and that we don’t have to show phony interest in people who aren’t from western backgrounds.”
“Prez Hopey Opened Up The Fed Vaults & It Was Raided By The Little People” ~Leona Helmsly’s Maid Channeling The Late Hotelier From Hell(with possible appearences from Reagan, Saddam & Satan)
Barrett808:
Putting on 12 lbs of make-up to make her even uglier.
Ugh, Thom Hartman was talking to one of these CPAC asshats on his show. I appreciate him giving a voice to the other side, but Jesus F. Christ.
Oh god. This is the CARICATURE that my mind conjures up for what happens at these things. And now you tell me that they actually do it? There are no words.
Hooray For Anything: “predominately displaced”. Did you mean “prominently displayed”? Cuz I’m having a really hard time deciding what predominantely displaced means and whether or not it makes sense. It might actually make sense. I hope my html tags work or I’m going to look silly.
m_supercomputer: There’s never a carbon monoxide leak around when America needs one.
AC SLATER -Saved by the Bell: Brokeback Style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHLr5AYl5f4
daisy chain: D’oh! Let’s try this again (stupid typos):
My doctor not only had Michael Savage blasting throughout his offices, but once had a signed picture of Mr and Mrs. W thanking him for his generous donation prominently displayed in one of his waiting rooms. For some reason, he was always concerned about my high blood pressure.
S.Luggo: “Cleta”? Was she named after a private part?
Nerdalicious: I believe that would be “working boys.”
Will Bobby Jindal be hosting a forum on how the Democratic federal government messed up Katrina, too?
WhatTheHeck: Actual conservative values would dictate that the event be held in a fancy government building normally reserved for state functions, replete with tax payer-purchased chandeliers, and attended by rich people who spend the day extolling the virtues of people who buy their guns at Walmart, followed by fiery speeches about the evils of government funding scientific and medical research on the backs of the POOR GOOD ‘MURICANS WHO BUY THEIR GUNS AT WALMART. Followed by a round of ass-fucking, then a round of denouncing gay marriage.
I can’t believe I’m missing it!
Wait, no panel with Philip Berg discussing Obama’s birth certificate? No Ayn Rand bacchanalia? Screw it, this isn’t a REAL conservative shindig.
Incredulicious: The Marilyn Manson tribute could happen. I’m on a Metal & Hard Rock Social Networking Site, where I’ve been appalled to discover that today’s fans of metal and hard rock (once politically edgy genres, e.g. War Pigs, Electric Eye, Screaming for Vengeance) are the same folks who think ACORN kicked off the international financial meltdown, and that Obama is a Muslin Manchurian Candidate who was picked, prenatally, by the International Socialist Conspiracy, to serve as US President. His mission is to dismantle Capitalism and Morality, and take everyone’s guns and Bibles.
They also think marijuana is *wrong* (prize comment: “If it isn’t that bad for you, why would they make it illegal?”, along with thousands of, “Sure, I smoked it myself before my alcohol rehab. But I won’t let my kids smoke it because it’s a million times stronger today.”)
Many of them also think that today’s rock is better because “today’s bands are composed of young businessmen and businesswomen who take their success very seriously. They don’t make the mistakes that Boomer bands made, with groupies and wild living and substance use and excess! They work *with* their labels and don’t rebel.”
Now we know why Nu Metal sucks, huh?
iolanthe: That’s why Dethklok is the only band that matters.
iolanthe: are you saying you are shocked that most metalheads are socially backward epsilon sub-minus semi-morons?
Aquannissiwamissoo - Hey, not all metalheads are socially backward epsilon sub-minus semi-morons. Granted, most are. But I’m offended by the generalization.
This is jaw-droppingly funny to read, in it’s own way. I noticed at 3:00 they have a “Public Speaking Workship”. Is that the one where they all sail off the end of the flat earth?
Oh, and tomorrow you can have breakfast with Phyllis Schlafly…..great if you’re on a diet….THAT’LL put you off food for awhile…