WASHINGTON, DC, 02:46 AM, TUE NOVEMBER 24 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS
JUST GIVE US THE MONEY ALREADY

Liveblogging the Speech of Obama’s Life (This Week)

Ba'rahk O'BamaHey you squawking dingleberries on the cable teevee news? Are you aware there was a Stock Market Rally today? The S&P shot up 4%, which is … about a 10% “recovery.com” from the October collapse? Still! Anyway, obviously, this presidency is in dire shape, what with a very popular new president and all, so let’s watch this speech CLOSELY for signs of WEAKNESS. If you see any such sign, SELL OFF YOUR INVESTMENTS, and abandon your mortgage. It’s his fault! Let’s liveblog, with the best political liveblogging team in History.

8:57 PM — Your managing editor watches MSNBC so Newell won’t have to, and here’s what Chris Matthews has to say about Bobby Jindal: “I’m not impressed with this guy one bit …. he’s competing for that outer rail of republican support, out where Sarah and Huckabee are, that’s where he’s headed.”
8:58 PM — Which is true and all, but now Matthews is quoting Barbra Streisand.
8:59 PM — Oh lord, Olbermann has 30 innocent voters hooked up to a “people meter,” as “an experiment.” It’s a sex probe thing, like in that impenetrable New York Times Magazine cover story about the Science of Horniness.
9:00 PM — Sullenberger! DRINK!
9:00 PM — Seriously, we called this shit. You are playing the Drinking Game, right?
9:01 PM — Olbermann just called the ambassador from Djibouti a justice of the Supreme Court. Stevens, we imagine, is who he was thinking of, just then.
9:03 PM — Ruth Bader Ginsburg strolls in, everybody cheers like crazy, except, presumably, Jim Bunning, who is glumly masturbating to a picture of the Negro Leagues.
9:04 PM — Michelle Obama is here, HAWT.
9:05 PM — Oh look at these schemers, the “President’s Cabinet,” including Hillary Clinton. She used to work here at the Capitol. The irony!
9:05 PM — Geithner, Gates, the all-stars! (Turbo Tax, Iraq.)
9:06 PM — Obama has hired every single ‘08 Democratic candidate or operative unless they were on their way to jail. (Or unless they’re Dennis Kucinich. Shouldn’t Liz K. get a sweet gig, as your editor’s personal diplomat?)
9:07 PM — There’s Rahm, just cold giving people seizures, row after row.
9:08 PM — Yes, we know the “draft” of the speech is already out there, on Drudge, certainly, but that is just zero fun, you know?
9:11 PM — NEVER FORGET.
9:11 PM — Michele Bachmann is just slathering her mouth with whatever baby gel right now, gettin’ ready.
9:13 PM — Wow, jesus, listen to this crowd (Congress). Hooting, hollering, whistles, wild applause. You know, your editor has been doing these things for Wonkette for what, four years now, and he has never heard a ruckus like this.
9:15 PM — He gave Nancy and Joe their graduation certificates.
9:16 PM — Uh oh, Obama and Pelosi spoke over each other for 0.2 seconds. Get John Roberts up there to re-administer the Constitution!
9:17 PM — Oh man, how long has Barack been waiting to pull that smooth “and the First Lady of the United States” line? He is getting so laid tonight.
9:17 PM — So far, not gloomy, yet still recession-y. And yes we have had a few sleepness nights, so, uh, you good folks at BlogAds just keep keepin’ on, etc.
9:18 PM — OH FUCK YEAH WE WILL RECOVER HELL YEAH YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK!
9:19 PM — Hey why won’t old Rangel stand up? (Probably due to a NOT FUNNY health issue.)
9:20 PM — Newell beeps, “Biden is looking at his watch.” Nah, he’s just looking at some porn on his Treo!
9:21 PM — So the culprits are a) Evil Schemers, b) Republicans, and c) viewers like you.
9:22 PM — Harry Reid’s all “oh I am getting HELLA bullet trains.”
9:22 PM — JOBS JOBS JOBS.
9:23 PM — Stimulus! It’s the Law. (WOOT!)
9:24 PM — There are 57 police in Minneapolis, right now, because of Stimulus! YES, policemen!
9:24 PM — On this coming April Fool’s Day, you will find More Money in your paycheck (if you have a job).
9:25 PM — “Because nobody messes with Joe.” This was the comedy gag. Everyone cracks up, applauds, Joe Biden, that fuckin’ guy!
9:25 PM — Hey, close-up of Jabba the Hutt out there, lookin’ good.
9:27 PM — Your money is safe, at the banks, if you have money! So chill.
9:27 PM — But the LENDING, that is the problem, the lack of it, the flow of credit.
9:27 PM — No more credit, no more … anything, apparently. (Uhm maybe we should just pay for stuff, cash? Is that weird? Yeah we guess that is weird, generally.)
9:28 PM — Wow this is a thing we heard some commentator on Marketplace suggest the other day, some kind of lending vouchers for banks, and Obama is cold doing it, because he listened to this show, in his Volvo.
9:29 PM — Okay okay, mortgages, savings, $2,000 extra, etc. Could we please hear about the spaceships now? Black president announcing the Spaceships, now that is some History!
9:30 PM — Ugh, what was up with that creepy shot of Vinegar Joe Lieberman, his mouth tragically replaced with a raw, red human undulating anus?
9:33 PM — “It’s not about helping banks, it’s about helping people.” This was such a good line, he said it twice! And then, the video professor explains how … well, how money works. He is quite good at this lecturing stuff. He’s got a real future!
9:34 PM — Now he says “You slackers over in the Congress, here, and you know who I’m talking about, better get it together.
9:35 PM — And here comes your beloved Sara K. Smith, with a new liveblog! Yes She Can!


9:00 PM on Tue February 24 2009
By Ken Layne
19991 Views

  1. Cookie Guggelman says at 9:02 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Fucking Clarence Thomas almost knocks over Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

  2. simetrias says at 9:03 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Loved seeing Ruth walk in.

  3. If Ginsburg drops dead right now we’ll all owe Bunning a HUGE apology.

  4. joe twelve pack says at 9:04 pm, February 24th, 2009

    um, congresspeople staking out seats on the isle since 8am? what is this a line for billy joel tickets?

  5. simetrias says at 9:04 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Michelle!!!! Nice dress. Daring to go sleeveless.

  6. Bobby Jindal = Anoop Dog

  7. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:04 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Holy shit Michelle looks fuckable tonight.

  8. Colander says at 9:04 pm, February 24th, 2009

    The racist have GOT to hate this part. Also, HOT SERVICEMEMBER ALERT. Also or whatever.

  9. simetrias says at 9:04 pm, February 24th, 2009

    So nice to see a bunch of dems. What the fuck color does Hill have on????

  10. Ooh Michelle’s dress is cut above the knee! That must be a first in the history of First Ladies.

  11. point, point, clap, clap

  12. SayItWithWookies says at 9:05 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hey, Hillary’s back from Asia. And she actually looks nice in that.

  13. simetrias says at 9:05 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hey, don’t tell me WONKETTE is on overload already….

  14. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:05 pm, February 24th, 2009

    The fuck color is Hillz wearing? Goddamn.

  15. smellyal8r says at 9:05 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Sec’y Clinton…clap, clap, point, point, down the aisle

  16. grevillea says at 9:05 pm, February 24th, 2009

    What’s the deal with the emo leprechaun? I swear I have not yet touched a drop. Hic.

  17. Hello, Geithner. Hello, Geithner’s giant forehead.

  18. OffTheRecord says at 9:05 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Seriously Ruth, hunt down Bunning. Do it now! Laugh in his face! Pleaseeeeeeee!

  19. Incredulicious says at 9:05 pm, February 24th, 2009

    “Madam Speaker! Go fuck yourself!”

  20. Colander says at 9:05 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I kind of want to lie next to Tim Geithner and tell him how my day went.

  21. eastcoastliberal says at 9:06 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh so Eric Holder will be the prez if Sully doesn’t land this thing successfully….

  22. SayItWithWookies says at 9:06 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Who’s the chick in the teal on the right side of the aisle just inside the door? She’s cute.

  23. Here are all the tax frauds and lobbyist whores, aka the “President’s Cabinet”.

  24. Why are they applauding all of the secretaries? Just for walking across the floor without tripping?

  25. freppish says at 9:06 pm, February 24th, 2009

    here is president McCain? i havent watched any news since the night before the election, he won right?

  26. populucious says at 9:06 pm, February 24th, 2009

    No one wants to shake Geitner’s hand. He has economic bailout cooties.

  27. The Neoskeptic says at 9:06 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Cookie Guggelman: i read that justice pudic hair and RBG are like BFFs and they go to the opera together and stuff. does RBG haz jungle fever?

  28. simetrias says at 9:06 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Can’t wait to see Da Man

  29. obfuscator says at 9:06 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hot Pink Hillz!

    Anyone else hoping that Barry struts to podium with his Bear-Head Pimp Stick as Sly & The Family Stone’s “Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Again)” plays on the public address system?

  30. OMG Rahm! Move aside old lady - I want to see my Rahmbo!

    *swoon*

    God he’s delicious.

  31. Geithner was just standing around awkwardly while everyone went crazy about Hillary. Barbara Boxer finally took pity on him and shook his hand. He looks about as awkward as your average college freshman at their first big party of fall semester.

  32. SayItWithWookies says at 9:07 pm, February 24th, 2009

    simetrias: Fuschia. I think it looks better than most of her outfits. Maybe she’s been getting tips from Condi.

  33. smellyal8r says at 9:07 pm, February 24th, 2009

    simetrias: Pepto Pink. Horrible

  34. simetrias says at 9:07 pm, February 24th, 2009

    THE PREZ!!!! Lemme guess, BLUE TIE

  35. hobochristsuperstar says at 9:07 pm, February 24th, 2009

    less hillz more rahm

  36. joe twelve pack says at 9:08 pm, February 24th, 2009

    rahm just did the 12 year old girl hand sign for call-me, why? oh good, captain sully is there.

  37. The Neoskeptic says at 9:08 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Cicada: for walking down the aisle without neglecting to pay thousands of dollars in taxes

  38. Did Rahm Emanuel just flip somebody off? Or was that the universal symbol for “call me”?

  39. Incredulicious says at 9:08 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Janet N. is totally dykearific.

  40. SayItWithWookies says at 9:08 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I’m thinking the teal chick is one of the Sanchez sisters.

  41. bitchincamaro says at 9:08 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I hope he enters the chamber on a skateboard like Bart Simpson.

  42. simetrias says at 9:08 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Who else is betting on Blue Tie?

  43. Hmmm. A little too much ‘event flavour’ for me.

  44. smellyal8r says at 9:09 pm, February 24th, 2009

    What is Speaker Pelosi in tonite? Ugh. The wimmins are not showing the best colors tonight (or they got word that MIchelle would be the hottest in the House)

  45. Squiggyfm says at 9:09 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Does Blitzer get paid by the word? Jesus Christ. BREATHE!

  46. simetrias says at 9:09 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Historic moment coming up! (200,000th this year)

  47. Cookie Guggelman says at 9:09 pm, February 24th, 2009

    obfuscator: I imagine him reaching into his coat pocket and saying: “Scuse me while I whip this out….”

  48. I LIKE HILLZ DRESS YOU HATERZ

    That’s it, I’m going to join the Confluence now.

  49. Heeeeeeeres Barry!

  50. bitchincamaro says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Colander: He’s only 14!

  51. itgetter says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Did anybody else hear a “Holla!!” when the prez was introduced?

  52. smellyal8r says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends

  53. simetrias says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Red Tie

  54. freppish says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    so i was lead to believe that this started at 8, what is this France

  55. freerangemink says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    YAAAAAAAAAY!

  56. SayItWithWookies says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    simetrias: Red w/white stripes!

  57. Let me just whip this out …

    had to be done.

  58. The Neoskeptic says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    barry comes in with his posse of senators en tow. pretty badass

  59. bitchincamaro says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    This is part that we used to cringe at.

  60. Barry is looking lovely.

    ..what a terminally odd thing to say about the President of the United States. True though.

  61. HE’S KISSING MEN. Is our President a gay?

  62. Cookie Guggelman says at 9:10 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Is that nice young black man our president?

  63. simetrias says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    He has makeup on

  64. Chuckie Jesus says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hail to the Chief. I think I’ll toss my bra at my television screen, now.

  65. SayItWithWookies says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Sanchez gets a very tasteful kiss in. Not like that tonguey slobberer, Bachman.

  66. simetrias says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Nancy is trying to smile thru the Botox.

  67. obfuscator says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I’m not seeing any executive-legislative fist bumps…

  68. Incredulicious says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    All that handshaking. All I can think about is the germs. So many germs. THE GERMS!!!

  69. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I was hoping for WWF-style pyrotechnics and blaring music, but this’ll do.

  70. recharged95 says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh nooes! Barry’s giving the used car salesmen “point the finger”! I gotta deal for you!

    Nooooooessss.

    After thought, Nice dress.

  71. The Neoskeptic says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    he’s got a leash on all these republican senators lumbering in behind him. even these douchetards can’t resist the Obamamania!

  72. Colander says at 9:11 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hm. He must be one of the Good Ones.

  73. thatonegirlsays says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    it appears all the members of congress got copies of hopey’s speech and played the wonkette drinking game. those bitches are tanked.

  74. Harry Reid, with a “kick me” sign on his back.

  75. mdotsota says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    But why does Barry have to walk with Kirk Cameron’s friend from Growing Pains behind him?

  76. trying to pick out the winner “most tepid clapping” award

  77. No, wait, I think that was just a manly hug. False alarm.

  78. simetrias says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    What happened to his hair??? Got a real buzz cut this time. Dah-am. Looks weird.

  79. Squiggyfm says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I wonder if Barry will mess the speech up and have to do it again tomorrow night, at the White House, under the cover of darkness.

  80. notapipe says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Obama should totally lay a smooch on Arlen Specter.

  81. OffTheRecord says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    God, I really do love him.

  82. Nom nom nom. Barack, you are so tasty, I could eat you with a little spoon.

  83. simetrias says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Ba–rry! Ba-rry!

  84. SayItWithWookies says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I thought Stevie Wonder would be playing the processional.

  85. choinski says at 9:12 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Who’s the bearded hottie holding the door open on the House floor?

  86. hockeymom says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Where’s the tongue kiss from Michelle Bachmann?

  87. smashtheduck says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Holy shit that woman has some jungle fever.

  88. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    He’s giving ‘em the “I’m a Handsome Black Man” handshake/hug! Excelsior!

  89. smellyal8r says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Nice kiss for Mrs. C. That’s sweet.

  90. bitchincamaro says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    No tongue for Hillary

  91. populucious says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Obama kisses all the girls…and they let him.

  92. Volumptuous says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Yes, David Gregory just said “pitching a tent”.

  93. simetrias says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Kiss kiss, Hillary, ha ha, I’m prez and you’re not, now siddown n smile.

  94. joe twelve pack says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Does Sheila Jackson Lee and Eliot Engel have to stand there all day or can they plant a page in the spot to save it? If thats the case, why didnt Burris just drop a placeholder in 2 weeks ago?

  95. notapipe says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    That photographer behind him looks like Alberto Gonzales.

  96. Colander says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Justice Roberts totally just touched a black guy. He just got unfollowed so hard on Twitter.

  97. The Neoskeptic says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    big hug for RBG! and clarence thomas with a HUGE smile. comity!

  98. SuperRounder says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    The angle CNN got on the Hopey-Hillary kiss made it look like she got one on the lips. GIVE HER SOME TONGUE, HOPEY!!!

  99. Incredulicious says at 9:13 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Is Sen Bachman going to make out with him?

  100. rocktonsammy says at 9:14 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Enough already, get up there talk!

  101. recharged95 says at 9:14 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Waiting for the inaugural fist bump at the SoTU. Don’t let us down!

  102. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:14 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Incredulicious: Howie Mandel, glad you could be with us tonight.

  103. obfuscator says at 9:14 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Wow, Alito was kind of pissy looking when Barry shook his hand.

  104. tunamelt says at 9:14 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh man the red tie is fucking the shit up out of my goddamn teevee

  105. jagorev: We live in hope, sweetie.

  106. bitchincamaro says at 9:14 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Michelle in slurple purple, yummy.

  107. simetrias says at 9:14 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Thank YOU. Wow. I’m getting chills all over again. Nice wave, too.

  108. PAbitter says at 9:14 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Jindal has a compelling story about how if you don’t care how well your state’s Medicaid actually does, you can cut a lot of fat out of its budget.

    Seriously, under his tenure it went from 49th to 50th out of all the states. Not something to brag about, no matter how much money you save the state. Of course, I fully expect him to show up, flicking holy water at the tv camera and yelling “the power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!”

  109. Barry looks all glowy and shiny under all the adoring attention. This whole “love object of the whole planet” thing hasn’t gotten old for him yet, apparently.

  110. Ha-ha. The crazy libruls on NPR are talking about how Barry’s presidency has been very successful so far, what with the high approval ratings and getting the stimulus passed.

    HAVEN’T THEY HEARD THAT NOBAMA HAS FAILED!!!!!1!!!!!! FAILED!!!!!1!!!!1!!11 THE ECONOMY IS ALL NOBAMAS FAULT!!!!!

  111. Colander says at 9:15 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I really wanted to hear JayZ’s “My President is Black” but I guess he’s saving that for the SOTU.

  112. notapipe says at 9:15 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Nancy Pelosi is wearing an old lady coat.

  113. bitchincamaro says at 9:15 pm, February 24th, 2009

    shut the fuck up and do not reach across the aisle during this speech peoples…

  114. OffTheRecord says at 9:15 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh god Barry. Again with the fast talking.

  115. simetrias says at 9:15 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Ooops, they messed that up.

  116. Protocol Barry! Remember the protocol…

  117. populucious says at 9:15 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Good lord, it’s a rock concert in there. A pair of panties is going to fly through the air in a minute.

  118. tunamelt says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    yeah she’s totes wearing a snuggie

  119. simetrias: Who else is betting on Blue Tie?

    I’d like to point out that I TOTALLY CALLED red tie with white stripes.

    You must all drink.

  120. Colander says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Jeez, Congress. It’s not Mickey Rourke, you can relax.

  121. PAbitter says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    obfuscator: executive-legislative fisting, you mean.

  122. smellyal8r says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Jumped on Nancy’s line. We don’t do that in the House.

  123. bitchincamaro says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    wait, where the fuck is Cheney?

  124. Incredulicious says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    That was awkward.

  125. simetrias says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Nancy looked TOO thrilled, like, damn, I had to do that for Bush

  126. Ha ha, he and Pelosi stepped on each others’ line. Now they’ll have to redo the whole thing tomorrow at the White House.

  127. simetrias says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    First Lady is gettin some later/

  128. SuperRounder says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    If only Isaac Hayes were around to play him in.

  129. tunamelt says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I’ll give Michelle a standing o.

  130. Nora-charles says at 9:16 pm, February 24th, 2009

    OH… that was sweet! M Obama said “I love you.”

  131. hockeymom says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I love that Michelle blew her hubby a kiss.

  132. AAaaaaaw, shout-out to Michelle… i feel gaily melty.

  133. Shit, I’m already out of beer up here. Poor planning. BRB, run to kitchen.

  134. Squiggyfm says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    A FLOTUS intro? Oh yeah. He’s getting some tonight!

  135. freppish says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    17 min to start FAIL

  136. obfuscator says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Goddamn MSNBC and their stupid line thingy.

  137. smellyal8r says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    We still need some work on the teleprompter reading. He looks like he’s at McEnroe/Borg.

  138. simetrias says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    We’ve all been in crisis, Mr. O.

  139. mirrorball says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Anyone know how much cosmetic work Biden and Pelosi have between them?

  140. itgetter says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh wow, Michelle. I see starbursts. She just made me gay! Liberal Communist agenda?!!!11!

  141. choinski says at 9:17 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Okay, this parts boring. Perhaps I will read these last few pages of Tom Clancy’s Debt of Honor.

    GAH!

  142. Virtually _insane says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    America is on CRISIS again ….WFT …..again ….. SHUTTA FUCK UP !!!!

  143. notapipe says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Nancy Pelosi: Do not look at the playbill when the camera is on you!

  144. tunamelt says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    This is going to own.

  145. Squiggyfm says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    smellyal8r: Impeachment proceedings start tomorrow.

  146. simetrias says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    We will survive, we will survive!

  147. SayItWithWookies says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Put your drink down, Nancy.

  148. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    USA! USA! USA!

  149. obfuscator says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    SuperRounder: I’d be happy with some Curtis Mayfield.

  150. DustBowlBlues says at 9:18 pm, February 24th, 2009

    j6n: Kudos on the Blazing S. reference.

  151. Stop fidgeting, Pelosi.

  152. Virtually _insane says at 9:19 pm, February 24th, 2009

    clap you ass …. clap your ass retars…..

  153. Cookie Guggelman says at 9:19 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Um, in which fields do these answers lay?

  154. Here’s the hopey part so the markets won’t be engulfed by a giant FAIL meteor.

  155. Colander says at 9:19 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh, man. I’m gonna be drunk, you guys.

  156. hockeymom says at 9:19 pm, February 24th, 2009

    The answers are in test tubes? Pod people?

  157. populucious says at 9:19 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Does Nancy Pelosi know she’s on camera?

  158. mc_frontalot says at 9:19 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Is my girl Nancy always going to fix her hair halfway through clapping? That does not look supportive enough.

  159. tunamelt says at 9:20 pm, February 24th, 2009

    This MSNBC People Meter shows McCain voters being more approving. I think.

  160. bitchincamaro says at 9:20 pm, February 24th, 2009

    When does he get to the war crimes trial part?

  161. hobgoblin of little minds says at 9:21 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Pelosi! Stop licking your lips like a lizard.

  162. smellyal8r says at 9:21 pm, February 24th, 2009

    “Yes, this is the President’s office calling. Please tell the Vice President to wear a cornflower blue tie so he will match the President’s.” Nyuk, nyuk.

  163. smashtheduck says at 9:21 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Has he already gone greyer?

  164. choinski: sokay, if the worst case scenario happens, then our Jack Ryan will be Eric Holder, who’s got a hot mustache and all.

  165. freppish says at 9:21 pm, February 24th, 2009

    if he mentions universal health care i will have a moneygasm

  166. SayItWithWookies says at 9:21 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Slam Dubya on squandering the surplus — yeah.
    “The time to take charge of our future is here.”

  167. obfuscator says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Fuck you, Boehner.

  168. mirrorball says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    When are the five previous presidents coming out to present the Oscar?

  169. joe twelve pack says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    choinski: i agree this show is well boring. house hunters is on hgtv right now, its in vegas!!!

  170. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Colander: I already am. There’s nothing to be scared of.

  171. smellyal8r says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    There’s Obama’s new BF Eric Cantor, R-VA. Starting longingly, but forced to sit next to his dad, John Boehner (who smells like a pack of Marlboros)

  172. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    YAAAAY JOBS!

  173. 4tehlulz says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    >>YOU CAN TAKE THAT TO THE BANK!

    Only if it’s insured by the FDIC.

  174. OffTheRecord says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    John Boehner is such a robot like man.

  175. notapipe says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    You do too believe in bigger government, Barry. Shut the hell up.

  176. bitchincamaro says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    msnbc has the feel o meter thing going and it FAILS totes

  177. hobgoblin of little minds says at 9:22 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Virtually _insane: dude, go away. We don’t go to the airport bathroom and smack the dicks outta your mouth.

  178. imissopus says at 9:23 pm, February 24th, 2009

    DustBowlBlues: He said the sheriff is near!

  179. LET NANCY BE NANCY, you sexist bastards. Would you be complaining if Joe Biden had worn a snuggie and was adjusting his hairplugs/drinking vodka during the speech? Double standards!

  180. smashtheduck says at 9:23 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Biden’s got this thing down a whole lot better than Pelosi. Just look up every so often so they know you’re not sleeping and that’s it.

  181. recharged95 says at 9:23 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Day of reckoning? Was this what the religious wingnutz have been talking about for the last 2000 years?

    Note: “… Jobs” — Pelosi claps and cheers, Biden looks at his Blackberry.

  182. SayItWithWookies says at 9:23 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Awww, Republicans sitting on their hands. Don’t be bitter. Oh, okay — be bitter. It tastes sweet to me.

  183. smellyal8r says at 9:23 pm, February 24th, 2009

    hobgoblin of little minds: It’s the green outfit that makes her look like JubJub.

  184. Colander says at 9:23 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Judge Dredd drink FAIL.

  185. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    MASS TRANSIT???? OMG COMMUNISMS!

  186. OffTheRecord says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Colander: I’m already drunk. Also, it is really hard to type with a glass of wine in one hand. Also.

  187. Cookie Guggelman says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    well, for those of you who still have paychecks

  188. bitchincamaro says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Barry, can I get a faster browser????????????

  189. thatonegirlsays says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Do a shot everytime the Republican section keeps sitting when Barry Hussein mentions magicke moneys.

  190. El Pinche says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    the blingee speaks to me. One side is shiny hope sparkling with joy,and the other side is an ominous swirling torrent of despair. The dripping blood like a metronome to remind us all that we are on borrowed time. And Barry is right in the middle.

  191. Squiggyfm says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Tax cuts on April 1? APRIL FOOLS! The US is broke.

  192. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Fuckin’ facts, bitches. MINNEAPOLIS IS SAVED!

  193. notapipe says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Man, it’s great we saved the jobs of Twin Cities cops so that they don’t end up with untrained people who brutalize protestors… wait.

  194. freppish says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Obama totally just said lay

  195. The economic recovery plan is now law, yay. Fooking Republicans sitting there on their hands. Barry, smite them!

  196. Voyou Charmant says at 9:24 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Anyone have a link that will let me watch this online? I tried CNN, but it’s powered by failure… so it’s not working.

  197. imissopus: Oh, it’s true. It’s true!

  198. Mitch McConnell hates tax cuts, and college!

  199. mirrorball says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    CBS just showed Boehner and McConnell. They looked like two of the most uncomfortable people on the face of the planet.

  200. SayItWithWookies says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hey, my department put in last week for a $2.5 million aircraft trainer. From stimulus funds. The guy who is in charge of the grant voted for McCain, which I was not hesitant to point out.

  201. Scott-san says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    The Republicans have doubled-down, PRAYING it doesn’t work.

  202. No body messes with Joe. Ha ha.

  203. smellyal8r says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Biden’s teeth are a white not found in nature. Frightening.

  204. “Nobody messes with Joe. Except when I want to make fun of him. Which I do, often.”

  205. Squiggyfm says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Is Joe the “Godfather” now?

  206. Virtually _insane says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh fuck ….. 99% will received a tax cut ….. here is $13 a week …..
    make sure you spend it in USA…. but local grown weed

  207. freppish says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    wow mccain looks old

  208. Colander says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Nancy Pelosi is the Bette Midler of Congress.

  209. Voyou Charmant says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    That being said; there should be a feed of the facebook comments on the CNN feed.

  210. skimmingtonride says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    woah bitter bitter john mccain looks like he has a hemmorhoi

  211. populucious says at 9:25 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh god, Joe’s gonna save the economy just like he saved Amtrak.

  212. simetrias says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Joe messes with himself

  213. DoktorZoom says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Ferrets!

  214. Incredulicious says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Biden and oversight should never be in the same sentence.

  215. hockeymom says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Recovery.GOV YO!

  216. OffTheRecord says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Biden is such a pimp.

    Also, christ I hate Mitch McConnell. I need to move. I want new senators.

  217. kingofnothing says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Best African American President Ever!

  218. Virtually _insane says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    is that FAT ASS going to keep track of the spending ….. wonder who is going to keep track of his coronary….

  219. recharged95 says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Holy smokes, SotU has gone hip-hop: “Nobodi mezzes with Joe!”

    Is this Chicago mafia talk? Cause what I got out of that was B-man’s gonna give you the smack down if you disagree.

  220. Cops in Minneapolis. Over-under on (mayor) RT (rybak) posting on facebook is 7 minutes.

  221. superdave says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Mitch McConnell: Senator … Denture wearer … Douchebag.

  222. Colander says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Most drinking comes from Sour Grapublican closeups.

  223. thatonegirlsays says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    DON’T MESS WITH JOE

  224. choinski says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    jagorev: Perhaps I will calm my nerves with this other Tom Clancy novel, Executive Orders.

    GAH! Biden is President!

  225. Voyou Charmant: try CSPAN.org, then MSNBC.com, then if all else fails you can go to foxnews.com or npr.org

  226. bitchincamaro says at 9:26 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh Geithner…..gah

  227. obfuscator says at 9:27 pm, February 24th, 2009

    “Our economy will be choked off, like Michael Hutchence… we can’t let this happen.”

  228. 4tehlulz: Barry just said everything is insured by the FDIC. The sun and the moon and spooning in June. So there.

  229. Squiggyfm says at 9:27 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I miss seeing Cheney in the background…plotting on how he could get away with shooting troublesome senators in the face and generally shitting on the Constitution.

  230. bitchincamaro says at 9:28 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I’ll shoot black heroin into my penis if Barry says “nationalize”.

  231. teebob2000 says at 9:28 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Biden caught picking his nose!

  232. Nora-charles says at 9:28 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I pitty Biden and Pelosi for having to sit, quietly, on camera through this whole thing — but it’s such a relief that we’re not looking at Cheney and Hastert anymore.

  233. SayItWithWookies says at 9:28 pm, February 24th, 2009

    We’re creating a new lending fund? A president has actual news at one of these things? What country is this?

  234. smashtheduck says at 9:28 pm, February 24th, 2009

    It’s cute when the repubs refuse to clap….all three of them.

  235. bookish_lesbian says at 9:29 pm, February 24th, 2009

    hillary and timmay g are whispering to each oter

  236. obfuscator says at 9:29 pm, February 24th, 2009

    jagorev: Also, vaginas, also.

  237. simetrias says at 9:29 pm, February 24th, 2009

    What about all those irresponsible families, huh B?

  238. bitchincamaro says at 9:29 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Great. Save 2k on the refinance of the mortgage, but it cost 6 k to do the paperwork

  239. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:29 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Announce nationalizing the banks pleeeeeeze…

  240. DustBowlBlues says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Sen. Shelby won’t look at Hopey because he didn’t bring his birth certificate.

  241. smellyal8r says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Geitner and Clinton look like the most uncomfortable married couple in America.

    Chris Dodd is ancient.

    Once I nationalize all the banks, they will be held accountable to Joe.

    And, a shot of that sourpuss Joe Lieberman. Turd

  242. Colander says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I missed that. Ew, Leiberman! MY DICK JUST FELL OFF.

  243. simetrias says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Lieberman looks as repulsive as he is.

  244. bitchincamaro says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hang a banker now!

  245. itgetter says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Awwww, bipartisan clap. Closeup on Joe “still a virgin” Lieberman

  246. Just grab 2 magazine renewal cards and 2 little pieces of tape and place over Joe and Nancy. It works. i’m not kidding.

  247. joe twelve pack says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    NO MORE FANCY DRAPES? WTF?

  248. PeteJayhawk v2.0 says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    FUCK YEAH! Sheriff Barry is regulatin’, bitchezzz!

  249. Scott-san says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    CEOs! FTL!

  250. bookish_lesbian says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    wow, everyone applauded the “hold banks accountable” line. even republicans hate the bankers!!

    wheeee, let’s sure hope it didn’t look like this at the start of the weimar republic

  251. hockeymom says at 9:30 pm, February 24th, 2009

    irativ: irativ: that’s not even a bet. It’s like the sun coming up in the morning.

    No fancy drapes for you, richy-rich.
    Also

  252. freppish says at 9:31 pm, February 24th, 2009

    EWW they just showed Lieberman

  253. leebermon was having trouble keeping his alien lizard tongue in his mouth. hunger or desire for obama-flesh?

  254. obfuscator says at 9:31 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Lemon-face Joe! Fuck you!

  255. Ha ha, Lieberman is clapping like someone (Rahm) has a gun to his head.

  256. simetrias says at 9:31 pm, February 24th, 2009

    “fancy grapes”: urban dictionary says, “special cocaine imported from Chimaya, Peru”

  257. smashtheduck says at 9:31 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Fuck you Liebermann

  258. SayItWithWookies says at 9:31 pm, February 24th, 2009

    CNN.com cut to Lieberman — he looked like someone shoved a lemon up his ass.

  259. Eeew, closeups of Lieberman, chewing his weasel ratlips. His beady eyes are actually glowing red.

  260. simetrias says at 9:31 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh, DRAPES. LOL. thought he said grapes.

  261. DustBowlBlues says at 9:32 pm, February 24th, 2009

    The repugs have to stand up when he talks about putting it to CEOs.

  262. Cape Clod says at 9:32 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Is Lieberman sucking on a lozenge?

  263. wickedlittledoll says at 9:32 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Aw snap, don’t mess wit Barry ‘less you wants to get served, biatch!
    http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/02/who-needs-action-when-youve-got-words.html

  264. Scott-san says at 9:32 pm, February 24th, 2009

    It’s refreshing to hear a fucking GROWNUP in this context.

  265. choinski says at 9:32 pm, February 24th, 2009

    The days of running off in private jets and limosines are over

    I guess there will be a run on taxicabs in front of the Capitol building tonight

  266. bitchincamaro says at 9:32 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Riots, people!!!!!!!!!!!

  267. obfuscator says at 9:33 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Ken, that bit on Marketplace was interesting. The vouchers to Wall Street that can only be used for lending, yes?

    That little Asian man next to Leahy is adorable.

  268. mirrorball says at 9:33 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Ah Burris. Enjoy while you can. Enjoy it while you can.

  269. hockeymom says at 9:33 pm, February 24th, 2009

    BURRIS!

  270. Cookie Guggelman says at 9:33 pm, February 24th, 2009

    “Help me help you. Help ME help YOU. HELP ME HELP YOU!”

  271. Aww, dammit, sounds like he’s going to let the bankers live. And I had my pitchfork all nice and sharpened already.

  272. simetrias says at 9:33 pm, February 24th, 2009

    He’s got this cute little friendly tone. Carrot Barry.

  273. smellyal8r says at 9:33 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I thought he said fancy grapes??? All “Oregon wines”.

  274. Jeeze, this is interesting: the MSNBC audience reaction line shows McCain voters pretty consistently giving Barry more love than Obama voters.

  275. bookish_lesbian says at 9:33 pm, February 24th, 2009

    “it’s not about helping banks, it’s about helping people”

    unless, of course, those people work at banks. because people who work at banks AREN’T PEOPLE suckah!!!!

  276. Dorje Chenmo says at 9:33 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Republicans only pretend to hate bankers in public.
    When they’re alone together they roll around naked in large piles of currency

  277. Scott-san says at 9:34 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Mustang: You just solved SOME kind of crisis right there.

  278. That was an amazing chain of syllogisms Barry just pulled off. The value of a legal education…

  279. Cape Clod says at 9:34 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Suck on that Lou Gramm

  280. Don’t ASK them to join you, Barry. Tell those little bitches whose boss!

  281. hockeymom says at 9:34 pm, February 24th, 2009

    You all are about to be regulated.

  282. DustBowlBlues says at 9:34 pm, February 24th, 2009

    The Dems cheer so exuberantly because they want to rub salt in Repug. wounds. Good for the Dems.

    Rs a little slower on their feet for regulations.

  283. G-d I hate that craven, denture=sucking f&%k Lieberman.

  284. bitchincamaro says at 9:34 pm, February 24th, 2009

    they should not hand out Playbills to the retards in the chamber. it gives them an excuse to check the blackberry. no pun.

  285. mirrorball says at 9:34 pm, February 24th, 2009

    HDTV is not kind to Mr. Rangel

  286. SayItWithWookies says at 9:35 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Even the Republicans are applauding regulatory reform? The age of laissez-faire capitalism really is over.

  287. cantor was pining!

  288. bitchincamaro says at 9:35 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Eric Cantor sucks monkey nutz

  289. Squiggyfm says at 9:35 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Rangel…thinking: Sausage.

  290. recharged95 says at 9:35 pm, February 24th, 2009

    bookish_lesbian: Depends on what type of bankers:
    Bankers for the unions and 401Ks (i.e. sitibank, BoA)
    Bankers for the rich guys, congress and presidents (i.e. Morgan, Chase)

  291. Cantor looks like he’s touching himself.

  292. simetrias says at 9:35 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh, and we also inherited a few dozen bottles of vodka under the oval office desk…

  293. Scott-san says at 9:36 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I hope Barry’s “vision for America” includes roads paved with mangled hedge-fund managers.

  294. mirrorball says at 9:36 pm, February 24th, 2009

    hockeymom: Isn’t the 2nd Amendment about a well regulating market?

  295. SayItWithWookies says at 9:36 pm, February 24th, 2009

    “the stark reality of what we’ve inherited…”
    I wonder if Dubya’s watching this now. Nah, he’ll just ignore the executive summary tomorrow morning.

  296. smellyal8r says at 9:36 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Pete Orzag is sitting next to Rahm after he read about Rahm’s heroics at the movies the other night. (Man, the CoS has time for the movies?)

  297. OffTheRecord says at 9:36 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hahah….someone was playing with their jowls.

  298. Squiggyfm says at 9:37 pm, February 24th, 2009

    mirrorball: To be said…SDTV isn’t kind to him either…neither is radio.

  299. Come here a minute says at 9:37 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Catalyzed? Uh oh, I didn’t know there was going to be chemistry on this.

  300. Colander says at 9:38 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Oh, show the Asian guy.

  301. itgetter says at 9:38 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Talk menacingly about China… and camera pans to Asian dude. NICE.

  302. smellyal8r says at 9:38 pm, February 24th, 2009

    mirrorball: Charlie literally slack-jawed. Poor slumlord.
    SayItWithWookies: Hunker down, Sayit. The new day is dawning. In about a year, the Rupugs are going to be running scared.

  303. hockeymom says at 9:38 pm, February 24th, 2009

    no more batteries from Korea.

  304. Colander says at 9:39 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Aw, Republicans are so cute when they play along, you guys.

  305. Scott-san says at 9:39 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Love the bipartisan camerawork.

  306. smellyal8r says at 9:39 pm, February 24th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: W’s watching anything but this, Laura however…

  307. hockeymom says at 9:40 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Climate Change.
    Haven’t heard that in about 8 years.

  308. freppish says at 9:40 pm, February 24th, 2009

    ok Obama mentions china and CNN starts showing Asians, weird.

  309. grevillea says at 9:41 pm, February 24th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Pls insert King of the Hill reference. Thx!xxx

  310. smellyal8r says at 9:41 pm, February 24th, 2009

    An imaginary auto industry. Sounds good to me. Have the unicorn cars assembled by the tooth fairy.

  311. itgetter says at 9:41 pm, February 24th, 2009

    WadISay: Yeah, are these McCain voters feeling a thrill up their legs? What the heck is going on?

  312. hockeymom says at 9:42 pm, February 24th, 2009

    health care…not so exciting to the congress critters.

  313. Scott-san says at 9:42 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hillarycare!

  314. teebob2000 says at 9:42 pm, February 24th, 2009

    I thought the car was invented in Germany…

  315. smellyal8r says at 9:42 pm, February 24th, 2009

    And, before I go…don’t forget, we are fighting a war on two fronts, drugs are killing our national pastime, we still don’t have a CIA director and I am outa here…

  316. Pop Socket says at 9:43 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Bring Peppermint Patties back to the US.

  317. hockeymom says at 9:43 pm, February 24th, 2009

    fucking republicans are sitting for health care for children.

  318. Scott-san says at 9:44 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Wait, who do you mean . . . “our people”?

  319. Jukesgrrl says at 9:47 pm, February 24th, 2009

    smellyal8r: W’s watching NCIS reruns on USA network, pretending he’s Gibbs.

  320. sweetcandy says at 10:00 pm, February 24th, 2009

    Hey if Obama is getting laid tonight shouldn’t he allow cameras in. He did say he would allow transparency.

    And don’t think that I am the only one that wants to see how he gets down.

  321. Not for nut, but there’s a little too much caboose on the loose in that row. I’m holding out for Miss Halle Berry myself. As long as you ain’t gettin’ it, ain’t get it good! You dig?

  322. Dur fitte munh, Piyush!

  323. proudcitizen says at 8:48 am, February 25th, 2009

    God, last night I could not remember Lieberman’s name! Am I getting old, or is he getting more irrelevant?

  324. proudcitizen says at 8:49 am, February 25th, 2009

    notapipe: He looks creepy. I kept wondering when the Secret Service was going to pounce on him.

  325. I liked Obama’s speech, I thought that it addressed what it needed to and lay forward priorities and morals, which is the first step towards solutions. I feel really inspired about is when he talks about energy and infrastructure. I’m really glad he’s finally taking Dean Baker’s advice (most eloquently written in “From Financial Crisis to Opportunity” in the book Thinking Big) and STOPPING the tax breaks for corporations that send their jobs overseas!!!

  326. assistant/atlas says at 6:24 pm, February 25th, 2009

    I was not able to say this last night because of the drunkenness, but the Blingee collection assembled for this event was truly, truly magnificent. SEVEN whore diamonds. I salute thee, Wonkette.

Leave a Reply