Wonkette
Let’s see what the boys at the Atlantic have cooked up for us this month, in the magazine’s March issue. There’s war, and the economy, and Christianity—timeless subjects, all! There’s also Christopher Hitchens, trying to one-up Adam Gopnik the only way he knows how: by writing disparaging remarks in Sharpie on his face.
“How the Crash Will Reshape America”: Richard “Flo Rida” Florida has a gargantuan piece about the economy. Have you heard? The economy… it’s so now! Anyway Richard “III” Florida looks specifically at how badly the depression will affect certain areas of the country versus others. So, all those exurbs in golfing-friendly climes have about a 4 second half-life, whereas the village alcove of Manhattan will probably do just fine (so don’t worry about your Wonkette intern, etc.!). It turns out that the cities that have the least to do with the complete collapse of the financial system (see: sunbelt, the) are going to suffer the worst—but what they lose in jobs, capital, expendable income, residents, urban infrastructure, they’re going to make up for in life lessons (?). And of course, no article about anything having to do with the economy, or money, or really facts in any of their guises is complete without a Thomas Friedman demi-takedown. [How the Crash Will Reshape America]
“The Velvet Reformation”: This profile of the Archbishop of Canterbury is about Christianity’s gay problem. So paraphraseth Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury: “WHAN that Aprille with his shoures soote, gays should eventually be a part of Church life but only as soon as it won’t upset everyone too too much.” So yes, the Anglican Church is kind of caught in a weird place, because unlike some other branches of Christianity (Presbyterian, Evangelical) are “out” in support of or against gays in Church, respectively, the Anglican Church is seemingly unsure what should be done with The Gays. Williams has an idea, but certain anti-gays-in-church people aren’t going to like it. [The Velvet Reformation]
“Demos and Dictionaries”: Lebanese heavyweight prize-fighter Christopher Hitchens reviews Peter Martin’s new Samuel Johnson biography. Maybe you already read Adam Gopnik’s review of this same book in December’s New Yorker, but maybe you read it and sort of couldn’t enjoy it because it was, in fact, written by Adam Gopnik. Hey, that’s fair. In any event, the new biography accurately captures a lot of Johnson’s self-loathing, his restlessness, and his tendency to speak (and write) in epigrams. Hitchens and Martin say all these character traits are also readily apparent in Johnson’s dictionary. Also, there’s this cool thing the internet now does that posts a photograph of a segment of Johnson’s dictionary every day, which you can use keep busy reading until TNR also finally publishes the inevitable review of this biography in 6 months or so. [Demons and Dictionaries]
“Tragic Heroes”: Apparently some are displeased with the quality of recent war flicks, and it’s come to the attention of someone in power that maybe zeitgeist-porn like Stop: Loss et al. doesn’t really offer actual sodliers any sort of insight into… anything. The Theater of War project is substituting Phillipe for Philoctetes (who is actually Paul Giamatti, but still aren’t we all Philocetes?) by comparing experiences in Iraq and Afghanistan to those in Greece and Rome. “A war is a war is a war,” some modernist psychiatrist points out. [Tragic Heroes]
But does Hitchens use this Samuel Johnson book review as a thinly veiled excuse to segue into the topic of how wonderful the Iraq war was? Because it’s not really a Christopher Hitchens piece unless it includes a great deal of spiteful mockery of anyone who might dare to suggest that Hitchens should reconsider his support for that splendid little war in the Middle East that turned out so well now that everyone’s free over there.
Why is there a skull covered in mossy strands of decaying blond hair glowering at me from the upper left?
I made it through more of that Indonesian “awesome” show than I did through this post. I’m not proud.
The typography in their new layout ISREALLYCROWDEDANDUGLY.
The only classy way to traverse the Atlantic is by Concorde. Please remind our children of this when we have regressed back to Zepplins
Every magazine issue from now on should include a takedown of some aspect of Tom Friedman’s nonsense, but no one can do it better than Matt Taibbi:
http://www.nypress.com/article-19271-flat-n-all-that.html
The great thing is that is just one cover out of four the Atlantic featured. In other parts of the country, “San Francisco wins,” “Chicago wins” and “Toronto wins” (even though it is in North USA, where Richard “Pensacola King Juan Carlos” Florida “teaches” or something). Obviously Barry has abandoned us and is now going to be the first half-breed muslin emperor of Canada, or whatever they have.
Oh and if you aren’t in San Francisco, Chicago or Toronto, FAIL.
It would’ve been much easier to drag the Anglican church into the 21st century if only Henry VIII had wanted to get divorced so he could marry a guy. Or, alternately, if that weasel Saul of Tarsus hadn’t been such a closet case. Or — alternately to the alternately — if religion wasn’t the most dumbass thing every invented in the history of human thought.
What, no Sully man-love? And who in fact DOES offer to get the towel in mano-a-mano relationships?
I, for one, am not Philoctetes. I’m more the Neoptolemus type.
Picture-2. Such wit.
SayItWithWookies: Or if Martin Luther had nailed 95 of his fellow monks* in front of the cathedral of Worms.
* 95 feces would be wrong.
You expect me to believe there was an article called God, Grace & Gay Sex in The Atlantic and Andrew Sullivan didn’t write it?
Having not read any of the articles listed, I don’t feel qualified to comment, but feel I have to comment about not being qual. i…fi…
B’bye.
The Presbyterians support teh gheys? I think Ian Paisley didn’t get the memo.
Serolf Divad: perhaps a review of The Bastard War . Exciting times in Mesopotamia in 1914-1918. And to protect the Persian oilfields! LOTS of people died. (in the UK, I believe this book was titled The Forgotten War, and I suspect the British general staff really did want to forget it.) This was followed by the British Mandate of Iraq. As successful as the French Mandate of Syria.
Don’t forget the ungodly long piece on the F-22 and how if we don’t buy trillions of dollars in new Air Force hardware all those terrible darkies might stand an icicle’s chance in hell at shooting down one of our planes.
Richard Florida praises the diversified economy of New York, which includes publishing, advertising, and media (all currently tanking, which he somehow doesn’t notice). So if our intern’s well being depends on the well being of New York, I’d worry.
I actually like Gopnik, mostly, although he gets a bit precious sometimes. That thing he did about his wife having babies in France a few years ago was pretty good, IIRC.
Hitchens? Not so much anymore.
One Yield Regular: AHH!!! Curse you, I hadn’t noticed ‘it’ until you made mention.
Damn, that Patti Ann Browne make Fox worth watching!
Pffft. Warm hobo jungles PWN frozen hobo jungles. If you love freezing so much, why dontcha change your name to Richard MINNESOTA? Huh?
turboslut: The Nation had a piece on how if the reason to keep the F-22 project going was because of jobs you’d still save money by having workers just shred the money allotted to it.
Juli - Canterbury Tales WIN. Thanks for reminding me that I actually majored in Medieval Studies in college. Perhaps my knowledge of Middle English will come in handy during the New Dark Ages?
War movies - what America needs now? I await the 21st versions of “Gold Diggers” and “Broadway Melody” movies and where is my 65 cents Blue Plate Special at Mortons?
allainjules: Si vous don’ ; lien de t à une version anglaise, nous devrons utiliser un traducteur en ligne, et qui sait cela s’avérera ?
(If you don’t link to an English version, I shall have to use an online translator, and who knows how that will turn out?)
Mothra Stewart: “21st” as in “century” I said sheepishly. (Baa.)
bago: Brevity soul wit.
irativ: WHEREVER Florida goes, they’ve won. He’d be the first to tell ya.