Wonkette
In a calculated move designed to insult America, Senator Chris Dodd has signed a book deal. His book will be out in June. Not that he’s actually penning a single word of it — it is “By Sen. Christopher J. Dodd with [random writing slave]” — but c’mon Dodd, save the heroic legislative deal-cutting memoir for when the unemployment rate starts going down (in 400 years). Worse yet, the working title is Thirteen Days: How the Financial Crisis Changed the Politics of Washington. Fuck you, Cuban communists!
…the book will provide an intimate look at how, over the course of 13 days last September, a financial crisis led to panic and meltdown. Dodd, the chair of the Senate banking committee, will also describe how he and others acted swiftly to try to save the American economy.
The most glaring offense is the reference in the title to Bobby Kennedy’s 1969 memoir Thirteen Days, about the Cuban Missile Crisis. See, Bobby Kennedy was allowed to write this book because (a) it was seven years after the event and (b) after those “thirteen days,” THE CRISIS WAS OVER AND NO ONE GOT NUKED. (Oh and also it was released posthumously, so it was better).
Now Dodd did work hard and showed a lot of leadership during the rushed bailout debate last fall — he basically forced Hank Paulson to accept a bill with a number of different options he would later use, rather than just the one “buying toxic assets” option, not that it really made a difference — and maybe some of that emergency work stopped the money markets from complete collapse. By all other standards, however, the TARP program has been the biggest failure in American legislation since… whatever piece of legislation came immediately before it. Maybe you’ve noticed too, but the economy is still broken.
Otherwise, we have no problems with Chris Dodd fake-writing a navel-gazing memoir about all the cool deals he made during a crisis, which hasn’t even ended but is just in another mode. If your great achievement in the past year had been to give clueless Hank Paulson $700 billion to waste on anything, wouldn’t you want to gloat about it too?
Deals [Publisher's Weekly]
A bit premature? It’s best to declare victory before someone adds up the points, because, you know.
Should have called it The Audacity of TARP. Guaranteed best seller. People love reading books by senators.
Seriously, why is this non-flagpin-wearing liberal not wearing a flag pin?
And why is he riding the dick of RFK’s book title, as Mistuh Newell so astutely pointed out?
Thirteen Days: How the Financial Crisis Changed the Politics of Washington.
By Chris Dodd [With Jeff Gannon]
(Oh pleas, oh, please, oh, please!)
With that title, it should be about his run for the 2008 nomination.
Hank Paulson was anything but clueless during that particular smash-and-grab. As Naomi Klein pointed out, he didn’t so much socialize the banking system as he did privatize the treasury.
Come here a minute: “The World According to TARP”
Chris Dodd is fugly! Like 99 cent store halloween mask fugly! Yuck!
I’m pretty sure that picture was taken at the Sears portrait studio.
I get sleepy even imagining what this book is going to be like.
SayItWithWookies: Win.
Special dedication to:
The swell guys and gals at Countrywide Financial Corporation and our sweetheart deal on my mortgage which allowed me to purchase the really neat MacBook Pro on which I sort of typed this piece of shit.
This is like Lincoln writing his victory memoir after Fredericksburg.
Tommmcatt: I’ve been reading Shock Doctrine recently (I’m a slow reader) and given the current economic climate it is keeping me awake at night.
You suppose Dodd will talk “jive” on the audio version? I can’t wait to hear him say “get your own motherfucking bailout money!”
Better titles for Dodd’s book:
“TARP Whores”
“I Sound My Barbaric TARP”
“TARPtanic”
Sussemilch: “Things Fall aTARP”
Lord of the Rings: The Two TARPS
TARPatriot Games
Fuck-you-onomics
Mission Accomplished!
Blech. The Admiral Akbar “It’s a TARP!” picture is much more attractive than Dodd.
I don’t know about writing - I’d say he has a face for radio.
It’s a good angle for hiding his saggy neck, though. But those glasses just emphasise his angry eyebrows.
Chris looks real inneleckshul in those glasses.
How the Financial Crisis Changed the Politics of Washington
Seriously? What the fuck has changed, apart from the numbers in the House & Senate, you doddering old fool. We got your obstinate revisionist retarded fuckheads on one side, and on the other we have their enablers, afraid to be called soft on terror, soft on welfare queens, soft on EXTREMELY STIMULATIVE tax cuts, etc. Face it, Dodd, you gave away the store and you expect to justify it with a stupid book no one will read? GO FUCK YOURSELF WHILE YOUR FINANCIAL BUDDIES BEAT OFF IN THE CLOSET WATCHING you incompetent dog-fucker.
I love my fugly, old school Dem senator. He can tell Republicans to fuck their mothers in Dominican Spanish.
The lasting impact of the ‘08 Interminable Election, in which Dodd flamed out early, is the addition to the lexicon of “Fucktard”. As in “the Honorable Fucktard Dodd has commissioned an hubristic self-congratulations for his crimes, which are lesions”. Ooops — that’s “legion”. Because Legionaires is a disease, lesions are only symptoms.
And now we have this fucktarded book to burn in trash barrels to keep us all warm and fuzzy. Maybe Senator Dood will send a copy to each of his constituents before the next snow.
Will this tome include a preface about how he let us get into this situation?
Hmmm?
Kev-O-Tron: I love Naomi Klein but that is one depressing book.
…Or “How I Bailed Out a Bunch of Rich Fuckups”
and since I am not (yet) God, on the 14th day
I rested.
MarieDeGournay: Fanfuckingtastic.
Also, I hope he thanks his brother for the crabs in the “Acknowledgments” section (lest we forget those *other* famous 13 days…)
I still want to know what tunes are on the DoddPod.
tdehr: “Fuck-you-onomics” — lol…
“The Rape of Lucrece, and the consumer, and the investor, and the workers, and … ”
“Two Gentleman of Uranus”
“The Idiot”
“An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of My Ego”
“Slosh Kapital”
“Anna Kawherethefuckisallmymoneynina”
“Mein Tarpf”
“Dodd’s Little Red Balance Sheet”
“Huckleberry Fed”
“A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s World of Shit”
“Gone With The Wind. And your life savings.”
shit you cant edit posts on here…
decora: Wonkette is ‘live’ that way.