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WHOA HO HO!

OBAMA CALLS CRIST GAY IN PUBLIC: Con sarn it, only this morning we had decided we were sick of the old “Charlie Crist is gay” jokes, but then Barack Obama went ahead and delivered this line at their Fort Myers town hall meeting today: “Everybody needs to grab a hose, and that’s what Charlie Crist is doing right here today.” NSFW video at 23/6 “The Huffington Post Comedy Section.” [HuffPo]


2:29 PM on Tue February 10 2009
By Jim Newell
1703 Views

  1. actor212 says at 2:31 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Oh dear…was it a large hose or small hose? Or maybe Obama said “hoes” but he was misunderterperated?

  2. Vanity Smurf says at 2:31 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Poor Barry, having to let Charlie Crist molest him to get a little bipartisan support.

  3. Monsieur Grumpe says at 2:35 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Mr. Newell,
    Alt text on the pix is like the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks, it’s always cheap, probably sucks, but you always look forward to finding it. That picture is just crying for debasement.

  4. Monsieur Grumpe says at 2:37 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Does he bathe in Tang?

  5. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:37 pm, February 10th, 2009

    HEYO. Crist just backed right into that one.

  6. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 2:38 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Did he just call Palin a hose beast? Cause we all know everything he says is about that Alaskan lipstick pig. And she is one.

  7. Bypartizoa says at 2:39 pm, February 10th, 2009

    And that hose is just about to squirt.

  8. SayItWithWookies says at 2:39 pm, February 10th, 2009

    We should all be glad to know this isn’t going to be a bottomless recession.

  9. Monsieur Grumpe: We’re in a RECESSION, goddamnit, so Wonkette is cutting back on frivolous corporate luxuries like “Washington Wizards box seats” and “alt-text”.

  10. Fivetree says at 2:40 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Crist is so bipartisan he will grab anything to stimulate the economies.

  11. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 2:43 pm, February 10th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Win. Obama has finally found a bottom!

  12. Vanity Smurf says at 2:43 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Monsieur Grumpe: It’s a special mixture of Tang, Channel No. 5, and Anita Bryant’s tears.

  13. Cape Clod says at 2:45 pm, February 10th, 2009

    That’s a bit unfair. It isn’t the grabbing of a hose that makes you gay, it’s whose hose that you’re grabbing.

  14. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 2:46 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Once again, we have a black man intimidating a poor Republican white man into a homosexual act in Florida.

    When will we ever learn?

  15. Vanity Smurf says at 2:47 pm, February 10th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Yes, but what this recession seems to be looking for is a power bottom.

  16. El Pinche says at 2:48 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Charlie Crist is gay???? But he has a wife and also he’s a Republican! No. Way. Al.So.

  17. Doglessliberal says at 2:48 pm, February 10th, 2009

  18. Huffington Post has a “comedy” section? Is that what that is?

  19. norbizness says at 2:48 pm, February 10th, 2009

    He and fellow seasonal Floridian Alex Rodriguez (picture from the video interview yesterday) should commence ta breedin’ the next generation of Oompa-Loompas.

  20. Vanity Smurf says at 2:50 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: It’s an inevitability in our nation’s only (flacid) penis-shaped state. When you say “Florida,” you say “cock.”

  21. nmmagayar says at 2:50 pm, February 10th, 2009

    I’m trying for something with Crist and massage, but have bupkis

  22. norbizness says at 2:52 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Huffington’s comedy section basically involves 12-minute audio tracks of Arianna Huffington doing her famous Zsa Zsa Gabor impersonation, for which she does not have to alter her voice. Also, a few stories of how she and her gay Californian husband (which explains her insight into Crist) used to sleep in beds in different zip codes.

  23. nmmagayar says at 2:53 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Vanity Smurf: Vanity Smurf: andf the translation, iirc, is land of flowers - muy gay

  24. Barry’s right. Our country would be a lot better off right now if everybody would just grab a hose.

  25. Well, at least Barry didn’t say anything about straddling the hose. Because, you know.

  26. Now with the cock-cleaning power of orange!

  27. Portugal (The Man) says at 3:00 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Jesussss Crisssst

  28. Baseproduct says at 3:07 pm, February 10th, 2009

    norbizness: I’m straight, and I can say with certainty that would be my preference if we were married.

  29. bitchincamaro says at 3:10 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Filthy hose jackel!

  30. Grab your hose and drop your socks! It’s time for a bipartisan stimulus party in the round!

  31. “Charlie Crist is orange” jokes will never get old, though, right?

  32. What’s Denby going to say, now that the Prez is getting snarky?

  33. Mild Midwesterner says at 3:18 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Florida is kind of shaped like a giant… um… hose.

  34. Sometimes a bag of dicks is not unwelcome is all I’m sayin’.

  35. mylesfromnowhere says at 3:23 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Baseproduct: I’d go with dif zip AND time zones cause I think you could still hear her in the same zip.

  36. friendlynerd says at 3:27 pm, February 10th, 2009

    I thought we were supposed to be grabbing our ankles! I’m so confused.

  37. frumious_bandersnatch says at 4:11 pm, February 10th, 2009

    I’m confident that the only reason Charlie Crist attended this event was in the sekrit sexy hope that Mr. President would humiliate him. I’m glad to see that Gov. Crist will have bountiful whack-off fodder for the next year or so.

  38. jamietre says at 4:12 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Jesus, Crist is gay.

  39. Red Zeppelin says at 5:30 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Naw, he’s talking about a fireman’s hose. Oh, wait, what?

  40. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 5:54 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Vanity Smurf: Mild Midwesterner: ” Florida? But that’s America’s wang!” –Homer Simpson.

    And I would like to point out a theory I’ve heard that at some point all human events can be expressed in Simpsons’ quotes.

  41. Vanity Smurf says at 7:04 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: Simpsonian Human Inclusivity Theory? Exxx-cellent.

  42. S. Cullen Bonz says at 7:04 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Since Obama is hetero, I guess that would make him the AntiCrist. Those wackos had it right all along…

  43. Mr. Spanky says at 7:27 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Charli saw those pictures of buff Barry on his Hawaiian vacation and just could not restrain himself!

    He had to join Barry on the bully pulpit in hopes that Barry has a secret desire to go “down low”.

  44. Wait.

    If FLA is our national penis, Key West is pre-cum and Cuba is the sample on the blue dress?

    Does that make the AL/MS/LA coastline the taint and Houston, TX the asshole?

    I have been overseas for a while…

  45. norbizness says at 8:02 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    I’ve toyed with the idea myself; it’s amazing what you can get out of the first 200 episodes or so of the series before it turned to shit.

  46. MegsOfMegs says at 8:16 pm, February 10th, 2009

    Crispy Crist.

  47. Lionel Hutz Esq.: Jon Stewart: “For the purposes of this picture, Florida is America’s hand.”

  48. PineyWoodster says at 8:11 am, February 11th, 2009

    Josh Fruhlinger:

    Do “Mary Worth is a meddling old biddy jokes ever get old?” Some things are classic.

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