Wonkette
WE’RE SAVED (OR DOOMED)! The Senate just passed the Magical Economic Recovery Bailout Stimulus Act of 2009, 61-37, hooray for the economies! Uhh …. [AP/CSPAN]
OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY
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Huzzah for Socialism!
Dow’s down 351 points. Time to BUY BUY BUY
So after it gets out of the reconciliation committee, both houses have to vote on it again, right? Does there have to be a cloture motion in the Senate that next time, or can they just do 50 and out? I’m hoping for just a straight up-or-down vote so they can gut the Senate changes and make the Republicans cry like little girls.
What is the weather like in Canada?
I guess he really is Barack the Magic Negro. That’s pretty impressive results from a single pressie.
If this works, the next Obama book on audio: “Like I’ve always said, always bet on black, muthafucka.”
jagorev: Don’t worry. Once the stimulus package’s provision that requires all traders to face Mecca and pray five times a day kicks in, the market will do much better.
Good, I need the $$$ to pay my taxes.
jagorev: The Efficient Fucking Market Hypothesis says that the potential gains from this are already priced in. But…ouch!
Oh good! Now Susan Collins is the Empress of ruining America!!!
I, for one, look forward to the glorious workers paradise that comrade Obama is preparing for us. Especially if it comes with a snazzy aesthetic.
jagorev: Can’t buy stocks with a can of hobo beans.
Does this mean I can use dollar bills to stir my elitist lattes again? I’m tired of using hobo “stirring sticks.”
I can haz job now?
THE ECONOMY IS SOLVED!
Magical Economic Recovery Bailout Stimulus Act? MERBSA? That’s a pretty sucky acronym. I recommend the Magical Economic Recovery Depression Eliminator.
SWEET! Where’s the unemployment line and how cheap are the flatscreens at Wal-Mart these days?
Does anyone remember the laughter??
Fun with fact sheets!
But how is David Vitter taking this? I bet he needs his diaper changed.
V572625694: I thought the Efficient Fucking Market Hypothesis dealt with how the rates charged by any given prostitute perfectly discounts for the cost of treating any venereal diseases you catch from them, such that any money you save by going to a cheaper prostitute is going to be spent on penicillin. So (as the University of Chicago economist would conclude) there is no point in trying to discriminate between the disease levels of different prostitutes or in wearing a condom.
I work in public education, and I loved what Obama said about fixing our problems. He actually made sense. He said “Guess what folks. The answer is not to throw money at the problem. The answer is not to completely reform the system. The answer is somewhere in between.” God, that was refreshing to hear someone who understands! And who isn’t afraid to say, “Yknow what — yeah, there are bad teachers and bad schools and there are very messed up things that must be fixed, but part of what’s going to fix that is more money.
El Pinche: Haha! At the Indian casinos, they’re always telling em to put my $50 down on red.
Magnificent Economic Creation and Correction Act.
Mustang: You know what will fix it? Telling kids that unless they fucking study they’re going to the new communist work camp and making lightbulbs.
Damn. “Magnificent Economic Creative Correction Act” would have been cleaner.
tunamelt: Well, I, for one, read all 7 fascinating pages (not).
bhosp: If only George Allen had won his Senate race and gone on to the Presidency he so richly deserved in 08, we could have had the Magnificent Asset Creation and Commerce Act
tunamelt: Shhh! The Lightbulb Labor Camps are one of the ways in which Obama will “save or create” 4 million jobs, but don’t tell anyone right now.
jagorev: Damn again. Yours is more subtle and shits all over George Allen again.
tunamelt: To be effective, you’d have to follow through. And then you’d just have really lousy lightbulbs. What really happens is that those kids go into the service. Frowny face.
jagorev: But at least since Obama’s in charge, they’ll be environmentally correct light bulbs. This is what he means when he talks about “green technology.”
jagorev: Sounds like we’ve been patronizing the same ladies. Do you have any unusual rashes or, uh…discharges?
Hooray For Anything: CFLs are made of PEOPLE
V572625694: Like any respectable, Nobel-prize winning efficient markets theorist, I’ve never actually boinked anyone, but boy do I have theories about how it works!
jagorev: Oh, so that’s what Michael Steele was talking about when he said the stimulus bill was going to create ‘work’ not ‘jobs’.
I would like to make a lightbulb.
jagorev: CFLs only come in one shade: hospital.
Cape Clod: GREEN COLLAR JOBS MACHT FREI
don’t know whether to cheer or cry …..barkeep another round!!!
We shouldn’t have to do this to the economy because of that Adam Smith invisible hand job thingy.