Wonkette
By the Comics Curmudgeon
Hey, how’s what’s-his-name doing, you know, the Muslim fellow? President Whosit? I guess there’s some sort of stimulus thingie he’s dealing with right now, and some tax-related dealies with the people he’s trying to hire? Whatever, what we really want to know is: is he sexing our nation’s capital up with all the sexy sexy sex? According to the media and its political cartoonists, the answer is a very sexy yes!
Click sexily on each cartoon to get more sexy close-ups!
Our new president set the tone early when it comes to the hott. Historically, most of the men who achieved our highest office were content to give an inaugural address fully clothed behind a podium; if they attempted any act of self-disclosure, it was wholly rhetorical. Few dared to cast aside both pants and underwear to display their “presidential staff” to the assembled multitude! President Obama knew that some in the crowd would faint, but that was a small price to pay for this important gesture that change had “come,” if you know what we mean.
Even the man’s pets are sexy! Sasha and Malia are still waiting on that new puppy, but heads turn when their dad goes on his daily constitutional with Candi, the Obama family’s beloved whore-pig. Yes, his new neighbors thought it strange at first, but soon everyone in Washington came to love this tradition from the Chicago meat-packing districts, which began in the 19th century when the mayor of Chicago would ceremonially pardon the most beautiful pig from the city’s slaughterhouses, and then non-ceremonially have sex with it. From the garters to the fishnets, that’s one piece of pork that Democrats and Republicans can agree to vote yes on! Oink oink, baby!
As unorthodox as Obama’s choice of pets might be, the man still has his limits. When he found out, for instance, that Tom Daschle is attended at all times by a harem of half a dozen hairy sex dwarves, who strip him naked and pleasure him at regular 20-minute intervals, no matter what the time or place, the president began to suspect that his HHS nominee was not in touch with mainstream American values. He should have known that the Dakotas are a cesspool of depravity.
Still, Barry was determined to cut a swath through the ladies of our nation’s capital, and as a good liberal he doesn’t discriminate based on color, creed, or kink. Here he tries all his patented “Obama moves” on this lovely young woman, who like chocolate, flowers, acoustic guitar, and dressing up in an elephant suit. (Since elephants aren’t hairy enough to earn the sobriquet “furry,” we call this particular subset of the genre “trunkies.”)
It was meant to just be a one-off fling, of course, but you all know the saying: “Once you go trunk, everything else is bunk.” Barry was smitten, and wanted to make an honest elephant woman out of her! But while Obama wanted to go public on the majesty of their man-beast love, she was too ashamed of her pachydermic proclivities, and fled from him any way she could. His heart was broken, but he knew that he’d eventually be able to move on emotionally, possibly by bombing somebody.
How classy is Barry, though? Elephant-girl gave up her trunky ways and pledged herself to a lifetime of chastity, only to discover she’d been knocked up. Our man Obama of course gave her a ride to one of the new chain of free government-run abortion clinics he had established with money taken from the defense budget, and took her out to lunch afterwards — the least he could to prevent the possible birth of a terrifying human-elephant hybrid.
And then the little half-presidential Uncle Sam-hatted fetus he had made went up to fetus heaven, where the amniotic fluid is always warm and the nutrient flow through the umbilical cord is never obstructed, and there he made friends with an adorable Mexican fetus, and they played together forever and ever, the end.
That last one is just–what?
I mean, what? The US isn’t funding any AIDS initiatives in Mexico, is it? Or does that cartoonist think that Africa is populated by slightly brownish people in sombreros?
I AM SO CONFUSED
ALSO ‘ABORTION GROUPS’ WTF
Why is the pig . . . on second thought, I’d rather not know.
Stupid dummyhead ignoramus political cartoonist had a chance to put ACTUAL LIPSTICK on an actual PIG and neglected to do so.
This makes me ANGRY and DISAPPOINTED, stupid dummyhead ignoramus political cartoonist!
Wow, that second-to-last cartoon is batshit crazy.
Also, “Fuck you, Glen McCoy. Fuck you and anybody that thinks like you. You are exactly what’s wrong with this world.”
In the first one the size 3X boxer shorts labeled “Media” are the equivalent of panties thrown at a rock concert.
Is he walking Queeny in the first one? Cuz they draw him kinda gay…
I didn’t know Cheney was such a talented artist. He took over all the newspapers’ cartoon sections this week.
The caricatures of Obama focus more on the ears than the skin tone. Should I be heartened by that?
IceCreamEmpress: There was this policy of the executive branch called the “global gag rule” (by opponents) or the “Mexico City policy” (by those in favor) which said that non-government foreign aid agencies that took US federal money couldn’t provide abortion services, or refer people to places that performed abortions, or even mention that abortion was a legal option (in those countries where it was). This rule was established under Reagan, was revoked by Clinton, was put back into place by W., and has now been predictably revoked by Barry. So, watch out, sombrero-wearing fetuses!
Obama is thought to be rather too serious. Proof of his omnipotence is that he seems to have infected a number of “cartoonists”, causing them to be bereft of humor.
Also, that Glen McCoy one is just hateful..whadda maroon, also.
Haha Barack loves doling out abortions.
jagorev: Jesus Christ on a pogo stick… That last TWO are lunatic fucking insane.
Being pro-choice is totally JUST LIKE forcing women to have abortions they don’t want while they pathetically cry that they would prefer to be tortured, Glenn. Finally somebody had the guts to say it!
Oh wait. ALL the overzealous pro-life wingnuts say shit like that.
Josh Fruhlinger: JEEBUS FOOCKING CRIST, why is so hard for these bastards to understand that contraceptive services are integral in helping developing countries reduce the rate of disease transmission and unwanted pregnancy, and that part of responsible health practice is educating women about ALL of their options, including abortion???
That’s the conservative way for you: fetuses with sombreros are sacred, but any infant, child or adult with a sombrero is a menace. I’d think Mexicans would wise up and stop wearing sombreros; then they’d get harassed by conservatives a lot less.
Didn’t just last week I say how hateful and awful Glenn McCoy usually is? Could someone explain to me the “Waterbed” line? And also why the newspaper has a “Gitmo to close” headline?
donner_froh: I missed the writing on the shorts. I’m glad it’s there. Now the cartoon is no longer confusing, but merely stupid.
OT, but did somebody already mention that Palin named her daughter after the town where ESPN has its headquarters?
Sorry, came in late this morning.
Cedar: I can explain. Glenn McCoy is obviously concerned that once Gitmo closes, all the pregnant women there will be released and forced to get abortions before they return to al Qaeda and subsequently exact their revenge on the United States through more terrorism.
Seems obvious enough to me, anyway.
The “oink oink, baby” line was stolen from AC Slater and I demand that it be attributed to him immediately.
Re: No. 6 - Whaaaa?
FIVE WHORE BACON-RASHERS!
Regarding those last two… uh… er… comics? (I hesitate to call something so unfunny a “comic”…) I had no idea that they allowed sharp, pointed writing/drawing instruments in insane asylums, I always envisioned the drooling lunatics using crayons and finger paints, and, you know, eating paste and such. Were the earlier versions rendered in the various artists’ own feces on the padded walls?
I actually already started a Facebook group to celebrate the creation of the second-to-last comic. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=47888348378
Next initiative: Nationally recognized “Slick Barry shoves white girl toward abortion clinic cash register while fetus cracks wise about waterboarding” political cartoon bank holiday
Say, you think Glenn McCoy hates abortion? I haven’t noticed.
I believe water-births are a form of torture.
Violenza: I’m pretty sure Slater said “oink oink, mama”. It’s been many years but I know that was his preferred manner of addressing Jessie.
Those last 2, just a BIT over the top. Rupert Murdoch own those papers?
Glenn McCoy wrote a response back to an Angry Babykiller who objected to the whole “black guy forcing a white lady to kill her baby” thing. And it is awesome.
http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/02/you-knee-jerk-lefties-and-your-race.html
Channing: Barack Obama’s response.
tiny mexican: So not only is he very unfunny, he is completely fucking insane?
Uh, in the first one, that is not Obama’s undies.
It says Media across the waistband.
The media were throwing their underwear on stage.
You don’t get out to rock concerts much, do you?
So is that fetus wearing a sombrero or did Mom’s festive diaphram fail?
I know Fruh, the Comics C is all about the funny but sometimes a brilliant policy idea accidentally slips into his comments.
Money from the defense budget to fund abortion clinics? Hell yeah!
Will Barry use the stimulus package on his presidential staff?
I want pictures.
I FUCKING HATE GLENN MCCOY!
In the spirit of fair play, I think I’ll pen a cartoon showing Obama honoring flag-draped coffins and welcoming home dismembered soldiers and Marines while “The Decider” turns and walks away. Assholes!
tiny mexican: Obama has always strongly supported the killing of babies at any time, by any method, denying them Constitutional rights he then bestows onto sworn enemies of the United States.
OBAMA WANTS TO KILL OUR BABIES BECAUSE HE’S A COMMIE MUSLIM!!1111!11!
Every time I see something like this, David Bowie’s “I’m Afraid of Americans” starts playing in my head.
I guess this means that life begins when you start wearing a hat in the ueterus.
Lascauxcaveman: Amen.
tiny mexican:
Thanks for posting that. Glen loves the hate.
More McCoy
http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/archives/2008/08/9315_obama_abortion_fetus_cartoon.html
Monsieur Grumpe: Holy crap. And also what the fuck. And also what the fuck with the crazy lady and the “faithful condom users die” billboards. In Africa. So much what the fuck. I have nothing else to say on this matter. Also.
I am the daughter of one o’ them old-fashioned journalists who writes columns that are subsequently printed on dead trees, BUT-
Glen McCoy is reason enough for me to wish the death of all newspapers, forever, amen. Also.
Why is the little sombrero baby pink and not tan? Will the little german baby have a toothbrush moustache? Is the little eskimo baby in a parka, dangerously forcing up his body temparature?
Larry McAwful: Also. Can anybody explain why the NYT online (a) runs McCoy cartoons at all, but (b) only changes them every month or so? Is that how long it is between sucky ones? Because the one of the PETA lawyer saving the Pilgrim’s turkey ran for about two months and sucked anyhow.
Cedar: …and why is she 9 mos. pregnant?
I think we can safely infer from McCoy’s “cartoon” that he has never met a woman, apart from his mother. Who he still sleeps with and nurses from.
I think this makes fair game a “cartoon” of the pope trying to feed a catholic family of 18 with the actual body of jesus, pinching off pieces of flesh and handing them to the kids on a toothpick. Because that’s all they’ll ever get to eat. Or maybe the pope in nazi uniform shoving Jews into gas chambers. While laughing. Or McCoy nursing his mom’s teat while she jerks him off.
Re: Glenn McCoy. There is some fossil evidence suggesting that several dinosaur species had a sort of secondary brain at the base of their spine to help control the movements of their huge ungainly bodies. Therefore, Glenn McCoy is a fucking douche.
I kind of feel like writing to Glenn McCoy and asking him to depict Barry in his next cartoon as actually *eating* an aborted fetus, but I don’t think he’ll understand the subtle sarcasm.
Implication of cartoon #2 - Uppity negro
jfruh, I know the policy. I didn’t think it was relevant to Mexico, though, because ABORTION IS ILLEGAL IN MEXICO except for major health reasons.
Sussemilch: and why is the Mexican mother’s womb bean-shaped?
You know, I disagree with the politics of the Glenn McCoy thing. And there are a couple different bits of subtext that are just abhorrent. And aren’t fetuses basically being “waterboarded” when they’re in their natural state?
But I do like the artwork, especially the way he evokes the Grinch in Pres. Obama’s face and posture.
Instead of calling McCoy names, can’t we just figure out how to persuade him not to be evil? (I feel the same way about Jack Chick.)
Actual email quote from Glen McCoy: “Obama has always strongly supported the killing of babies at any time, by any method, denying them Constitutional rights he then bestows onto sworn enemies of the United States.”
Wow. Glenn McCoy is truly a world-class douchebag.
Yeah, he loves him some babies, as long as those babies are born to a married woman who never used contraception who is married to a man working 12 hours a day on 8 hours pay from a fine capitalist citizen. What an evil son of a bitch.
Oh my God, guys, check out his “latest” on Cagle’s Daily. (URL seems to show it’s from September of ‘05.) I think I’ve discovered his secret identity - he’s the cartoonist from The Onion!
http://www.cagle.com/working/090205/garymccoy.jpg
Did you know that when a fetus is only three weeks old, it already shows signs of wearing a sombrero?
AxmxZ: The even more horrifying truth: That’s GARY McCoy. Yes — THERE’S TWO OF THEM.
It’s about time we had an honest discussion about Obama’s murderous lust for killing babies.
Mazement: Fair enough.
I’ll grant McCoy’s creepish asshole worldview pervades–nay, totally infests!–the few samples of his work I’ve endured (courtesy(?) of the Curmudgeon) so far, with a disturbing effectiveness bordering on genius. (If Chick wasn’t the master in this area, McCoy might possibly be alone at the nadir of reactionary editorial draftsmanship.)
This example of Mr. McCoy’s “wit” is just about a near-masterpiece of boneheadedness.
There: praise where praise is due.
Now, the thing about boneheads is that such people tend to be impervious to reasoned arguments, humane worldviews and notions of aesthetic subtlety and taste.
So, back to the name-calling. Also.
Loge, the Lizard….: And yes: no, Jack Chick isn’t an editorial cartoonist. But flipping through one of his little booklets is like reading a McCoy editorial cartoon in excruciating slow-motion. (Hell has the consistency of pancake syrup, if I remember my Milton correctly.)
Well, those are sure good. I keep finding alot of other good ones and stumbled across http://www.danscartoons.com/political_cartoons.htm Maybe these are funnier . . .
Is it just me, or does Steve Sack’s Obama look exactly like Bill Cosby? Maybe that’s the only black guy Sack knows how to draw. As for the last two- WTF? Wake up, guys! Abortion isn’t the most important thing on anyone’s agenda right now. Except for your whack-job minions, maybe.