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WHERE'S MY OBAMA MONEY?

  • REID HAS ENOUGH VOTES FOR MONEY PACKAGE: Harry Reid claims that he has enough votes to pass the stimulus package tonight, so some stuff will probably be “scrubbed.” Nevertheless, Reid is saying insane things, because he likes to do that: “They cannot hold the president of the United States hostage.” Who, like the terrorists? Good heavens! Wait, weren’t we talking about construction jobs or some shit? [Bloomberg, CNN]


5:04 PM on Thu February 5 2009
By Jim Newell
569 Views

  1. snideinplainsight says at 5:08 pm, February 5th, 2009

    You know, I moved to Maryland 15 years ago, and for a long time I was baffled by all the advertisements for “package goods”. So I’ve had a good long head start on ‘package’ jokes, and honestly, I’m burned out. Can we move on to something else now?

    Mr. Darcy’s dream — mmmm….— mams!

  2. Texan Bulldoggette says at 5:09 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Oh well, if Reid says it’s so then it must not be anywhere near the truth. Him and Nancy are about as useless as a book in Bible Spice’s house.

  3. SayItWithWookies says at 5:11 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Harry, please see your doctor. If you railroad the Republicans on this one, you might be in danger of growing a testicle.

  4. Not the terrorists, the Republicans. No, the Taliban. Shit.

  5. tunamelt says at 5:14 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: A book might be able to prop up a crooked table. What could Reid and Nancy do?

  6. ManchuCandidate says at 5:14 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Did someone implant TruckNutz on Harry No Sack Reid?

  7. tunamelt says at 5:14 pm, February 5th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: If your erection lasts for more than six hours.

  8. CivicHoliday says at 5:17 pm, February 5th, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: Rahm’s got his hand up his ass, making him talk puppet-style

  9. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:18 pm, February 5th, 2009

    CivicHoliday: Hey man… whatever works.

  10. Giant Robot says at 5:20 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Repugs = Taliban, Dems = Keystone Cops

  11. masterdebater says at 5:25 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Well you HAVE TO respect what the republicans are saying, after seeing how well they did in the last election, Harry…no, wait.

  12. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:25 pm, February 5th, 2009

    TRANSLATION: I bent over and gave Republicans EVERYTHING they wanted!!!

  13. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 5:26 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Oh, so it’s REID who has the huge package. Wait, what?

  14. Yes You Can Own A Piece of History says at 5:33 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Terrorists also need jobs!

  15. masterdebater says at 5:35 pm, February 5th, 2009

    AngryBlakGuy: …and then got “scrubbed”.

  16. chascates says at 5:36 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Just as long as I get my shovel-ready job as a raccoon wrangler or faith-based tax adviser or some such.

  17. villageatrois says at 5:39 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Why bother to put anything in the stimulus package at all? 90% of the money is going to the same shit sack of govie programs it always goes to. In this case, the States will take the money, and use it to offset State tax support, for a net gain of zero jobs.

    How about, instead of the Bush-style frog-march, the Honorable Senators actually think of something new that would have a chance of becoming a real job supported in the future by customers who pay money for the service or product? So far today, the best idea was development of the braille porn industry. Of course, I can’t define it, but I know it when I feel it.

  18. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO says at 5:45 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Jesus, can someone ball gag that guy? I can just see some anthropomorphic representation of Karma (probably George Burns dressed up like Buddha) standing behind Harry Reid as he says he has the votes and chuckling to itself as it says, “Oh, you think you have the votes do ya?”

  19. Hooray For Anything says at 6:37 pm, February 5th, 2009

    This news, if true, makes the Hopey Lover in me think this whole past week has been nothing but his usual rope-a-dope strategy and was intentintionally done just to give enough rope for the Republicans to come out looking like the asshats they are. And thus, revealed as such, he can then steamroll them and usher in the socialist muslim revolution that we were all promised.

  20. Fear of a Black Reagan says at 7:13 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Giant Robot: Repugs = Taliban, Dems = Keystone Cops

    No; Repugs = Taliban, Blue Dogs = child-molesting Al Qaeda coprophages.

  21. Mr Blifil says at 8:38 pm, February 5th, 2009

    Perhaps the first time Reid and “money package” have been invoked simultaneously. Another in a string of firsts.

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