Wonkette
- WE HEAR TACO BELL IS HIRING??: More lovely news from the American automotive industry, formerly a shining light of this rich nation’s manufacturing sector, and now simply a bunch of commies: “NEW YORK – General Motors Corp. will offer buyouts to all of its hourly employees, a spokesman confirmed Tuesday, as the troubled automaker continues to slash costs… A union official told The Associated Press then that GM would offer $20,000 in cash and a $25,000 car voucher for workers who retire early and those who simply leave the company.” Oooh, we’d take that. $25,000 cars! You can just drive around forever in one of those things. [AP]
To which the employee replies “can I use the voucher for a Toyota?”
I’ll take my buyout in gold doubloons, please.
Actually, the car voucher is a good idea because all those workers will need a place to live when the loss of their job means the bank will foreclose their homes.
Interesting bit of trivia: the word Manufacturing is a composite of the Latin words “manus” and “factura,” which is Latin for “made in China.”
Well, with $25,000 for a car, and $20,000 for gas, they should be able to drive until they reach Canada or Mexico. Good deal!
Sussemilch:
Sure, just as soon as Toyota buys up what’s left of the abandoned, bankrupt, corporate corpse of General Motors.
Won’t do much good if they can’t get a “two-tier” contract to give poorer benefits to new employees. Come on, UAW — time to take one for the team!
Tra: You’re not factoring in maintenace and repair bills along the way, though. Remember, these are General Motors cars.
GM would offer … a $25,000 car voucher for workers
“So, thanks for taking the early buyout package, now here’s a voucher for one of our road-worthy gas -guzzling battle tanks. Enjoy!”
Hooray For Anything: Beat me to it. You can’t forclose on a free car.
V572625694:
Actually, in about 3 years General Motors is going to be fifteen guys assembling Caterham Sevens in a warehouse in Toledo.
These auto workers wouldn’t need $45,000 in incentives to leave if only they’d sell their $50 million jets.
Smell that? It’s that new car smell. Not to be confused with the smell of despair.
How much are they offering their car-building robot machines?
Could I get $25,000 in scratch-offs instead? It would last longer.
sign of the times….
today, general motors changed their corporate name to corporal motors.
[ouch. too easy?]
magic titty: Thank God those car-building robot machines don’t read Wonkette, or they’d be pissed! Or do they…
Maybe they would accept life time season tickets to the Lions games instead.
Serolf Divad: When that happens, I’ll be right down to my GM-Lotus dealer! Will they have different keys for the ignition and the doors, though? Or doors?
So, on a serious note, you definitely won’t want to buy a GM car in 3 months - any employee who is good and can get a job outside GM will take the offer, leaving only those who can’t. Although, I suppose that’s only the case if there are actually other jobs available…
V572625694:
No doors on a Seven… but they do come with a nice 5 point harness so you won’t fall out.
Dang I’d love to park a 7 in my garage.
iwillsavethispatient: Isn’t the whole problem that nobody wants to buy a GM car… like, now?
Can you sell your voucher on eBay?
so, who exactly *does* have a job now, and will continue to have one for a while? I ask because I just got some really fun news about layoffs at another law firm.
Serolf Divad: Let’s see…GM would have to have do some separate branding. The Chevy version would be basically stock and called a Corvettini; the Pontiac 7 would have fluting down the sides. The Buick would have portholes in the hood, and the Cadillac 7 would have opera windows in the leatherette vinyl roof.
Serolf Divad: And by the way, unless you’re living in that garage, you’re an elitist.
Serolf Divad: You have a garage? Man, some people have it made. I’m still saving up for a hole in the road.
Serolf Divad: Excellent choice. I’m going to build one from a kit after I
1) Build my 3-car garage
2) Finish the restoration on my Chevelle ragtop.
3) Finish my MGB V-8 project
4) Aw screw it … never gonna happen…
Serolf Divad: Park a 7 in your garage; is that new way in D.C. for trolling for teh buttsecks!!!1111!!!??
Serolf Divad: Ohio? or Spain?
In the fine print: the $25K voucher is only good towards purchase of a Corvette ZR-1, retailing for $117K.
Hooray For Anything: Win. Exactly what my wife said.
$20k and you can drive home whatever you’re working on. This saves you the trouble of carrying parts out in your lunch box every day.
Still, the severance packages for some occupations are far worse: divorce attorney, mortician, butcher….
Wait a tick… if they’re offering free cars to workers might they lower car prices a bit? You know, to somewhat less than a house?
Or will fair value pricing spell bankruptcy for the global illuminati car pricing cartel?
I hear that Russian SUVs can be very uncomfortable.
Oh, yes, in closing, Carthage must be destroyed.
Senate votes to give a tax break to new car buyers!
People will be lining up now.
V572625694: I think the UAW has take a lot of them for the team. Watching Rod Getelfinger get laid across a senate desk and taking it for the team time and time again, I wanted to smack some fucking congressman across their smarmy faces. The greedy fucking capitalist slime balls took this nation down and now they’re taking spa vacas on our dime.
Meanwhile, it’s all the unions fault. I’m know I’m overly sensitive, but I’m so fucking tired of union bashing. And gay bashing. Let’s bash where it belongs: Rich repubtards and capitalistslime.
Warren Terror: “they lower car prices a bit… to somewhat less than a house?”
In Detroit the houses already cost less than the cars. http://www.freep.com/article/20090128/BUSINESS07/901280326
Wise buyers will wait until after 2/14.
Can the voucher be used for trucknutz? Then it might be worth it.