Wonkette
How many Wonkette posts do we take from the gchat status message of our comrade Alex Pareene? Lots! Here’s another one, featuring some nut in upstate New York doing a 2 a.m. infomercial (?) about how Hillary Clinton sucks, and ran for president for a year (actually two years!), and didn’t win, and now there are no jobs in the greater Utica/New Hartford metropolitan area, and nobody is coming to this mall to buy tacky leather jackets, which are the main form of clothing worn by upstate New Yorkers, winter or summer. [YouTube]
If I ran the state of New York, every second Sunday of the month would be free Ice Cream Sundae Sunday at Baskin Robbins.
(I blame Hillary for the fact that we’ve got to pay for our Ice Cream Sundaes, too, BTW.)
Was that fucking Ann Coulter on the left side of my screen??!?!? I haven’t even had my first cup of coffee, yet. Now I’m going to hate everyone I see all day. Not that that’s much of a change.
That man is stronger than 10 men! He throws Hillary with one hand, gracefully behind him.
Oh and jacket salesman are assholes. I HAVE DEALT WITH THEM. Burlington Coat Factory is worse than a boiler room. I AM TELLING YOU. FOR REALZ.
Some one, quick! Get this man some Truck Nutz!
If you’re going on TV to badmouth a US senator (or whatever she is now,) at least wear a suit that fits and shoes that match. Sheesh, what a schlub.
~ring ring~ Hey Hillary it’s me Barry, get your ass out of bed and turn on WFUK out of Utica… something is happening in the world and it’s funny as hell….
Well, there must be something nefarious afoot, because crazy political rants generally work so well for selling unattractive, cheaply made products!
Oh those poor women in the background; at one point they look as if they’re about to run away.
Anyway, keep it classy, youse guys, you upstate New Yorkers. Yeah! You give us Texans something to point to when libruhls start the ol’ “Texas Smackdown”.
He groped a Hillary cut-out!!! SEXIST!!!!
“Forever Leather” sounds like a stud bar in the Castro. I think this guy is a big old bottom with fantasies of Hilz wielding a riding crop and ordering him to lick her boots.
I say he send HRC a tight-fitting yellow pleather pant suit and shut the fuck up.
This guys almost went Christian Bale on our ass. I think I’ll post this on a PUMA site, its like red meat. We’ll see all six sites making a major post on it!
OWEEEEE! Make it stop! Make it stop! His stupid fuckin’ commercials! The only one worse is Billy Fuccillo’s HUGE commercials. Commercial Drive in New Hartford needs an economic ‘correction factor’ just to alleviate the traffic nightmares. Utica should just be nuked.
Isn’t this guy the father of that Hillary-groping Obama Speech writer?
OT: Tom Daschle withdraws his nomination per MSNBC.
“Dis skirt awdda be in da kitchen, cookin’ my meals, washin’ my clothes and gettin’ on her knees to take my big, fat Italian sausage, AMIRITE? Vinny, Sally-Boy, AMIRITE or am I fuckin’ rite?”
What about the part where he accused Spitzer of “popping chicks like bawn bawns”?
When you run for President, you’re supposed to spend your time trying to get people to buy shitty leather jackets from some whiny asshole in upstate New York. Why wont our candidates ever learn this?
This is all the incentive I need to go drop a baggie full of cat piss in his Sangertown Mall store. Douchebag!
He blames Hillary for lousy leather jacket sales? After she passed a bill recognizing national Dress Like a Guido Day? Ingrate.
“Get your liberal ass back to Washington and work on keeping Washington out of my fuckin face!!! How can I say it any clearer?”
1. Upstate New York PUMAs are going to boycott leather jackets now.
2. I freakin’ feel dumber for watching that freakin’ thing.
These are the kind of people that Paterson sought to appease with his senate pick? Damn…
Pleather dude, you got it wrong. Starting last year, the rest of US America became Upstate NY.
I say this as someone who watched Buffalo and Syracuse TV for a long time and has been forced to travel to visit his half assed dumbshit relatives who lived in the area.
I fundamentally disagree with him on principle, but GOD DAMN does he look good!
Meet PUMAPAC’s man-pig ‘o the day.
That said, this is comedy freaking gold.
This is why we’re worried about TV going digital, right? I might miss stuff like this?
New Hartford, the Athens of upstate New York.
A place called “Forever Leather” and no one has made an S&M joke?
For shame, you denizens of Wonkette, FOR SHAME.
You still can’t beat this guy, tho
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrRGp4BSTyE
“Friggin Hillary, I had to friggin can my tailor over here cause of dis friggin economy! Now look at my pants over here! Dere like 4 friggin inches too long over here!”
There’s a NEW Hartford? Jesus, isn’t one abomination against God enough?
Hart88: That’s because he’s Jon Favreau’s father. J. Favreau he actor/director, not the speechwriter who gropes HRC cutouts.
Giant Robot: You won’tl miss it as long as we have our brave Wonkette there. I liken to being one of those fat schlubs on the spacecraft in Wall-E. All of our needs are delivered to us without us lifting so much as a finger. Well, maybe a middle finger.
Today we’re all guidos.
Haha, I used to go to school there. Forever Leather is the greatest store in the universe (or at least in the New Hartford Mall). And this is shockingly not a 2 a.m. infomercial, but a commercial that is on like every channel during every commercial break every minute of the day. You cannot escape Forever Leather.
FreshCliches: Heez nawt jus pig uf the day heez pig uf teh YEER. PUMA POWER.
Servo: I can’t even imagine how one might come into possession of a baggie full of cat piss, but more power to ya!
madtowngooner: And all they ask for in return is webbie awards…
@servo: i hope billy fuccillo gets off my tv and goes to hell.
El Pinche: “Fuck it! We’ll do it live! DO IT LIVE! FUCKIN’ THING SUCKS!”
Car Ramrod: Oh yeah… I can haz black leather assless chaps? I guess he keeps those in the back with teh Trucknutz.
Nice poster boy for the free enterprise system. Get thee to an anger-management class. Also.
Wow, and those jackets look soooo way cool. Put one on and become an instant moron. Even the women in the background look like members of the Soprano cast.
He should solve the whole crisis and just hire everyone.
sshees
Giant Robot: I assume this is the 3am call she was talking about.
TeddyS: You’re talking about some cut-rate USA network knock-off of the Sopranos, right? Please tell me I’m right. Please. Because I’m so cold. So very cold.
How dare he not like that politician lady that I like. The nerve of that guy!
We’re not all like him, I promise! This douche has been annoying Utica for as long as I can remember. I find it interesting from someone whose merchandise falls off the back of a truck. And, if you think the store looks bad, you should smell it. Gah!
I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO: There’s a little BillO in all of us!
I hear they’re having a big freakin’ special on PUMA-skin jackets.
Is he wearing a Leather tux?? Damn, I didn’t see any of those at the inaugural balls.
ManchuCandidate:
Syracuse Television News format:
Weather
Heroic heroes heroically battling fires
Drive-by shootings
Anyone that was in court yesterday
People bitchin’ about school budgets
SU sports
Weather
Repeat 2X more to fill hour
Servo: Bananabelle: the_spin:
Holy shit. How many of us Utica/New Hartford/Central NY refugees are there on here?
ManchuCandidate: Joe? HEY, WAIT A MINUTE …
In fairness, it’s Utica, which is like the buttend of a joke.
About Alabama.
New Hartford Refugee here: This guy and Fucillo have been haunting me and the rest of the residents of the Armpit of the North.
With that said, who wants some Tomato Pie and Half Moons??
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utica,_New_York#Notable_Uticans
Who doesn’t love the Zogby polls????
Yeah, but at night you KNOW who he thinks about as he pounds his wife, Marie.
Godless:
CNY methane bubble brain: “Have you ever tried chicken riggies?”
Me ( upon seeing dish ): “Oh, it’s rigatoni with chicken in it.”
CNY methane bubble brain: “No. It’s chicken riggies.”
And they wonder why I lear at them like Clark Griswold does to Cousin Eddie.
Servo: Oh, Servo, I see what you mean. Makes Wilkins Township look classy.
Godless: My mom had to explain to a new arrival a few weeks ago that you don’t heat up tomato pie before you eat it. (I was never a fan.) But ah, half-moons. I do miss me some half-moons.
Know what else I miss? Good crispy hot wings, dammit.
Jukesgrrl:
Yeah. At least in Wilkins Township I could go to Carl’s Tavern and numb myself amongst people that at least know when to shut the fuck up.
Tra: Carl’s Tavern: Best fuckin’ wings anywhere.
Servo: In fairness, they’re full of peppers, and a lot hotter than rigatoni. They’re not bad if you like that kind of thing.
All this upstate food talk has got me hankerin’ for a spiedie.
Tra: Tomato pie is not a native Philly invention? I’m always told it is (but I also heat it up, so what do I know?).
God, I grew up watching this idiot sell his cheap leatherware. Good to see he’s vying for Rush’s empire.
It’s so cute how our Wonkette overlords think this is the kind of thing that runs at 2 a.m. instead of every five minutes during the day. Ken Layne, there is some sweet innocence left within you.
Well, there was, anyway.
bad idea jeans: Well, exactly. This just *MIGHT* have something to do with the economic misfortunes of Forever Leather, unless their target market is baggy-pants wearing gang members/high school toughs.
How long before “Joe the Leather Jacket Salesman” starts consulting for the Republican Party?
Tra: Ilion refugee here. I miss Tom Cavallo’s wings, but nothing else about the Valley.
superfecta: You guys have tomato pie, too? I’ve never run into another place where I could mention it without getting a blank stare.
Someone in Utica appears to have done some research on it (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomato_pie). But they’re buried in 12 feet of snow up there nine months out of the year — there’s not much else to do.
superfecta: No, Tomato Pie was totally invented in Utica with Chicken Riggies and Half-Moons.
This commercial probably runs on WKTV during every and all commercial breaks.
We also invented the largest watering can in the United States.
Gun-toting Progressive: Ahh Cavallos. Wing Night anyone?
Gun-toting Progressive: Eighty-two inches of snow this year and counting. What’s not to miss?
What the hell is a baaaahn-baaaahn?
Tra: I know this is kind of late … but Utica refugee here. Well, Waterville actually. “In this peaceful little village, where we love to dwell…..”
Servo: Bananabelle: the_spin: Tra: Godless: Gun-toting Progressive: Jesus H. Christ. We should start a club. Anyone remember “racks and racks of contrasting slacks,” the jingle for that place in the New Hartford Shopping Center? Anyways, who still lives in Utica?