Wonkette
- GDP FIGURES NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL: The economy “only” shrank by 3.8 percent last quarter! Victory! This number was buoyed by rising inventories, because nobody had money to buy things anymore. A half-million people lost their jobs in Q4, and home construction dropped 24 percent. Tim Geithner is going to fix this all, lickety-split. [Bloomberg]
I can tell the economy is still ok because the place where I get my morning coffee is still being staffed by snaggle-toothed knuckle-draggers. The first morning I walk in there and am addressed in the king’s English by surly grad students I’ll know we’re in trouble.
This number was buoyed by rising inventories, because nobody had money to buy things anymore
Well, Britain was the workshop of the 19th century world, America can be the warehouse of the 21st century world…
I would rather he fix it “likke li” split. Oh noes, I’d rather Likke Li fix….never mind, the damned barista wasn’t a surly grad student and musta gibben me decaf.
Victory!? Only if you get your definition of “Victory” from the House Republicans.
Geithner will unleash the mighty hammer of Thor and destroy every office building in the US, thus creating an instant market for construction.
Neon Trotsky: This only benefits WalMart, however.
Paterlanger: That’s happened to all the places I frequent. I guess Lou Dobbs got his wish- erryone’s speakin teh english now! Magic!
…well the Republicans will turn around the Depression by cutting payroll taxes for people who are no longer on the payroll because they have been layed-off!!!
Just slap the Obama/Hope poster on everything and the economy will take off. People simply can’t get their hands on enough Hopey merchandise.
…WoW, only -3.8%?!?! On the “Economic Cluster-Fukk Scale” that means we are only “Shyt out of luck!” and not “Completely fukked!”. Happy day people, happy days!
But, but…tax cuts for the top 2% works! Never Forget.
hrhkingfriday: Damn you Lou Dobbs! How can a man your age not have heard of the law of unintended consequences? You wished the Mexicanos away and now we have to buy our coffee from deconstructionists.
Which means we got a little lube with that.
freakishlystrong: You should see the color of the stuff that trickled down.
Just means that we all get better quality Hobo beans! Yay!
What our economy needs is an Icelandic lesbian.
elburrito: Seconded.
…take that Zimbabwe! Nobody is going to be us to the bottom! USA, USA, USA!!!
Paterlanger: That is the Barista Barometer
Most poll numbers have a margin of error of +/- 3%, so I’m thinking that the economy is really only down .8%.
Can we now measure economic health by the disposable income of wage earners rather than the prices of stocks, which increase with massive lay-offs? Is it too much to ask for accuracy?
At least today is the first day of a post-Blago world. Add one more to the unemployment rolls.
I wonder if anyone actually made money last year.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/E/EARNS_EXXON_MOBIL?SITE=AZTUS&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT
Awesome… this mean;s I’ve only got to sell one of my childen for medical experiments… whooo hooo! The wife’s going to be so happy when I let her know. Now I’ve just got to figure out which one we choose to keep: the smart, spunky over-acheiver or the cuddly little one.
Servo: Apparently yes.
Does this mean Obama has retroactively saved us all?
Servo: …“Is it too much to ask for accuracy?”.
YES, it is!
And while we are talking about the economic barometer wish-list, why don’t we add changing the way we calculate unemployment to the pre-Reagan eraTRANSLATION: real math!).
Serolf Divad: …I say trade in the over achiever. The cuddly one will get you more sympathy in the soup line!
Great, put a little parsley around the hobo beans.
AngryBlakGuy:
No. Cuddly kids are better for roasting. Um, so I’ve heard…
ManchuCandidate: Over achievers tend to be stringy. Um, so I’ve heard…
Serolf Divad: “Now I’ve just got to figure out which one we choose to keep: the smart, spunky over-acheiver or the cuddly little one.”
Why not quickly make a third? Just don’t get too attached to it so when it comes time to sell it won’t be such a wrench because you always planned it this way. Then you can keep both the cuddly one and the overachiever, though you might want to do something with the spunky. That’s not supposed to happen until puberty. You probably have really bad tap water, chock full o’ birth control piss.
At least this new Great Depression is destroying our lives slowly, instead of in only one day. On the other hand, because of the way it’s going down it may take decades for our economy to recover, if it ever does. I don’t know about you folks, but when all hope is gone I’m going to seize control of a medium sized brewery. With any luck I’ll be floating face down in the hops before the Blackwater thugs arrive to take control.
2druk2phluq: At least that’s a plan to lift one’s spirits.
Serolf Divad: I’d sell the little cuddly one, but not for medical experiments, silly; think big! There are still rich Arabs and assorted warlords out there that will drop some big bills for delivery of a lovely, pure, pleasing formed white girl or boy.
Um, your kids are white, aren’t they?
It’s nice that every article has the “if you thought this wasn’t as bad as it could be, think again. It’ll get revised up to 6% soon.” Like they can’t even let us have the one moment on “It’s not that bad” before we go back to eating our cardboard and deciding which child has to be sold to make the rent payment.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Serolf Divad: Sell the cuddly one. You can always get a cat.
Yeah, the economy is fine. See, I only know three people who have lost their job. I know a lot of people, so this is a very small number…you know, statistically. Oh, sure, two of them were single moms who are terrified about getting another job fast enough, but hey, I overheard some wingnut say there are plenty of jobs around if people weren’t so lazy…yeah, I’m sure they’ll be fine! Everything is fine. More tax cuts, please?
Serolf Divad: Put the overachiever to work and lease out the cuddly one. You get to keep both, and they’ll learn a little something valuable about child labor and the sex trade, which are likely to be the only booming industries in another two weeks.