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HOW TO INCREASE YOUR WORD POWER

Saddlebacking expert Rick Warren‘SADDLEBACKING’ DEFINED: Impress all your friends at your next mid-sized bougie dinner party with this exciting ten-dollar word, courtesy of known homosexual Dan Savage. [Saddlebacking]


11:53 AM on Thu January 29 2009
By Sara K. Smith
2680 Views

  1. Lascauxcaveman says at 11:58 am, January 29th, 2009

    “Hey, you got your santorum in my saddleback!”

  2. Kev-O-Tron says at 12:00 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Savage is a Seattle homo and one I’ve read since I was a budding young young buttfucker myself. I was thrilled with this definition when I read it in the local alt-weekly yesterday. He’s actually the editor of this thing (www.thestranger.com)

    Warren’s prayer was totally uninspiring and he is worthy of this hilarious definition.

  3. randomsausage says at 12:01 pm, January 29th, 2009

    You know what, I’m really beginning to believe in this “awesome” God that Rick Warren and his ilk talk about. Because this is fucking awesome!

  4. magic titty says at 12:01 pm, January 29th, 2009

    So what about gay male Christian teens? They’re still just fucking, right?

  5. Serolf Divad says at 12:05 pm, January 29th, 2009

    BTW, it’s a lot more fun if it involves an actual saddle and a riding crop.

  6. President X says at 12:05 pm, January 29th, 2009

    From the Washington Post, January 22:

    “Following the midday inaugural festivities, the Right Rev. Rick Warren led the goodly Dr. Josephus Lowery backstage and down some rickety wooden stairs into the bowels of the Capitol. There, in a broom closet lit only by gas lamp, the Rev. Warren lowered his trousers and bent over a smelly bucket in order that Josephus Lowery, esteemed philosopher and statesman, could render Warren saddlebacked all through the afternoon as fireworks and Marine Corps helicopters burst in the air overhead.”

  7. freakishlystrong says at 12:06 pm, January 29th, 2009

    HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa! Fucking Fundies! And Lindsey Graham also..

  8. I can haz Blago liveblog?

  9. shanemacgowan says at 12:08 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Colbert and Savage discuss the issue.http://vodpod.com/watch/1163027-dan-savage-talks-to-stephen-colbert-about-prop-8

  10. actor212 says at 12:09 pm, January 29th, 2009

    And if they slip, it’ll be Brokeback Mountin’

  11. JeffGoldblum says at 12:09 pm, January 29th, 2009

    FIRST WONKETTE ANAL SEX POST IN HOW LONG???? WHAT IS THE COUNT??? ASSFUCKING!!! IS IT MY BIRTHDAY??

  12. HMS Nerd says at 12:09 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Ha! - Santorumed!

  13. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 12:09 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Who knew that this was the “Purpose” in Warren’s “Purpose Driven” twaddle?

  14. Mr Blifil says at 12:09 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Serolf Divad: And a double layer neoprene wetsuit. Also.

  15. GlennBecksFelch says at 12:10 pm, January 29th, 2009

    rick warren’s prison pussy has never looked more appealing

  16. magic titty says at 12:11 pm, January 29th, 2009

    This is how Mary got pregnant.

  17. BillyClubb says at 12:11 pm, January 29th, 2009

    the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities

    Virginities? Christian kids get to be virgins more than once?

  18. ManchuCandidate says at 12:11 pm, January 29th, 2009

    It would be a better world if Sarah P., Bristol P. and Michelle Duggar did more saddlebacking.

  19. Harvey Birdman says at 12:11 pm, January 29th, 2009

    There was a belated suggestion that didn’t make it to the finals, but I think it’s a much better definition considering Warren: saddlebacking would be straddling your fat mate and then humping his belly until you come all over his face and chest.

    http://www.avclub.com/articles/savage-love-january-21-2009,22882/

  20. BklynIlluminati says at 12:11 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Just like my word of the day calendar, I shall attempt to use this new word in my vocabulary at least 3 times today

  21. …at which point I saddlebagged her until she was swaybacked. Then we sidesaddled until dawn. Now I’m seeking saddlesore ointment.

  22. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 12:12 pm, January 29th, 2009

    shanemacgowan: If that’s the video I think it is, that is the only time that I know of that Colbert broke character on his show and laughed at something Savage said.

  23. I have to believe Warren is the originator of this “Saddlebacking” term. He and Ted Haggard invented it in the Motel 6 in Reno 12 years ago.

  24. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:13 pm, January 29th, 2009

    JeffGoldblum: ASSFUCKING HAS RETURNED! WE ARE SAVED.

  25. Correction: Savage is currently a homo, he started off straight. And he wasn’t only editor, he was Drama Editor (as Ed Schneiderman) while he was writing and directing drag retellings of old stories (a la Charles Busch) as Keenan Houlihan, surname courtesy of his grandmother.

  26. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 12:15 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Now I can’t stop visualizing Putin and Dell assfucking.

  27. A Geek Tragedy says at 12:15 pm, January 29th, 2009

    BillyClubb: Actually, they claim they can. Google “born again virgin”

  28. Colander says at 12:18 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Gawd, Rick Warren is such a fucking slob.

  29. sanantonerose says at 12:25 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Really? All night? She must have the Anus of Steel.

  30. Accordion-o-rama says at 12:31 pm, January 29th, 2009

    qaf: So heterosexuality can be cured!

  31. V572625694 says at 12:37 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Kev-O-Tron: Couldn’t agree more about Warren’s lame-ass oration at Hopey’s inaugural. Had to keep shouting, “STFU, you prison-pussy-wearing homophobe!”

  32. IceCreamEmpress says at 12:38 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Yay! I voted for this one!

    I also voted for the now-famous “Santorum” definition. Apparently I am a bellwether.

  33. Colander says at 12:38 pm, January 29th, 2009

    qaf: Dan Savage has been buttfukking guys since at least college, dude. At least, also.

  34. CollegeStudent says at 12:48 pm, January 29th, 2009

    It must be all that Rap music the kids are listening to nowadays-
    Like this song “Saddleback” by the Terror Squad:

    “Said my Christians don’t dance,
    they just pull up their pants and,
    Do the Roc-away.
    Now Saddleback, Saddleback, Saddleback, Saddleback”

  35. Dan Savage, I love you. Keep coining words about assfucking. Bush is probably a bit too obvious, but how about Cheney?

  36. Red Zeppelin says at 12:50 pm, January 29th, 2009

    In Warren’s case, it would be saddlebacking with some serious saddlebags. Also.

  37. That is so gross to think of some budding young republidick talking some dumb teenage republidrip Christian girl into saving her precious virginity by “saddlebacking”. I want to throw up but I just sit on the floor by the toilet in throw up purgeatory. What would Jesus do? Why he would saddleback, of course.

  38. Giant Robot says at 1:06 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Now all we need is a good working definition of “Purpose Driven”

  39. Deepthroat says at 1:06 pm, January 29th, 2009

    This was the best part of Warren’s inaugural invocation of Vince Clortho Keymaster Of Gozer or something…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5pKCZWlnQ

  40. I think it is nice that you can assfuck for Jesus. This just means that those Christian anything but girls and those try’n to go hetro boys can discuss their hormonal riding skills with their youth pastors outside of the hotel room.

  41. ManchuCandidate: Whaddya mean? It would be a better world withourt Trig and Trap and Brick and Block? Why do you hate real Americans?

  42. magic titty:
    This is how Mary got pregnant.
    [ Slow Clapping ]

  43. Mad Farmer Manifest says at 1:26 pm, January 29th, 2009

    If Rick Santorum’s career is any indication of the effects of the “Savage Love” treatment, then Rick Warren will be sliding into irrelevancy in 3…2…1…

  44. lawrenceofthedesert says at 1:36 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Rick has been unable to reply to this dastardly heresy because he’s been way too busy working out in the gym and training for the LA Marathon.

  45. So, these are the ones that do anal on the first date? Who would have thought?

  46. masterdebater says at 1:43 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Well, things certainly have changed. I remember when girls would only do the oral thing to preserve their virginity. Ah, to be young and in love again.

  47. facehead says at 1:43 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Is there a different word if you do it with a mormon?

  48. Kev-O-Tron says at 1:44 pm, January 29th, 2009

    facehead: That’s called “boring”.

  49. Lascauxcaveman says at 1:48 pm, January 29th, 2009

    masterdebater: Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  50. tunamelt says at 1:55 pm, January 29th, 2009

    masterdebater: You should have meet the super Catholic girls at my high school, oh, say six years ago.

  51. I believe this was formerly known as “Italian birth control.”

  52. Woodwards Friend says at 2:02 pm, January 29th, 2009

    I really wish I was 15 again…and attending an evangelical Christian high school.

  53. Mr Blifil: That’s a crotchless double-layer neoprene wetsuit. Just saying.

  54. Please email this to Rick Warren STAT. kthnxbai

  55. actor212 says at 3:50 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Sandy: I thought the joke was about Greeks?

    A woman marries this Greek man, see, and her mother tells her “Do everything you can to help your husband, but for God’s sake, when he says “roll over”, don’t!”

    So on their wedding night, the husband says the magic words.

    The new bride says, “My mother told me I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to.”

    “What? You don’t want to get pregnant????”

  56. Deepthroat says at 3:58 pm, January 29th, 2009
  57. CollegeStudent says at 6:45 pm, January 29th, 2009

    facehead: You can’t get drunk enough in Utah for that too happen.

  58. rocktonsammy says at 8:26 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Sen. Hatch has been quiet lately, what the saddleback is up with that?

  59. amarikah says at 8:49 pm, January 29th, 2009

    Oh this is a too perfect epilogue to the Bush Years:

    John Ashcroft’s goddaughter was known to saddleback during high school. LET THE EEEAAGLE SOOAAR!

  60. Sheeeeeit says at 1:14 am, February 2nd, 2009

    You, motherfuckers, are funny!

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