Wonkette
Do you recall, back in August, right around the time Michelle Obama gave her nice speech at the Democratic National Convention, how Rush Limbaugh was blabbing to anyone who would listen about how she was totally knocked up? She looked it, too, from certain angles! People got all excited, because whoever heard of a presidential candidate — let alone a president — who actually liked his wife enough to have sex with her?
So now we are in the middle of yet another manufactured news story centered on a couple of photos of Michelle Obama with wrinkling fabric around her abdomen. This proves exactly nothing, as the nature and position of the wrinkles seem not to progress in the “getting larger” direction, as would happen in a normal human pregnancy.
In case nobody noticed, Mrs. Obama is kind of a big girl. She is a million feet tall and not a wilting cadaverous career anorexic with premature onset osteoporosis. This does not mean she is pregnant. It is very sweet, but also a little gross, that our nation is so taken with the fact that we have a young, attractive couple in the White House that we cannot stop fantasizing about them having hot procreative sex together constantly. But Michelle Obama just turned 45 years old and, unlike Sarah Palin, is smart enough to avoid a high-risk pregnancy at her age.
Although that said, the one thing we learned about baby-havin’ from Sarah Palin is that the least pregnant-looking ladies are generally the ones who are totally knocked up. The mystery continues!
White House Baby???? [Perez Hilton]
Plus, babies are carried on the front side of the body.
Rush was just freaking out because he was writing some Barry/Mitch McConnell slash and a Michelle pregnancy would totally ruin the illusion that it could happen.
Does Rush even know how women get pregnant?
Hint: No stork involved unless that’s your kink.
But is she really the mother of this non existent baby? I want to see medical records, as does my pal Andrew Sullivan.
…her ASS looks pregnant!
Obviously, Michelle should dispel these rumors by appearing nude in public, frequently, from now on. So should her husband, to be safe, also.
Mandatory abortion, stat.
Altho, to be honest, it would make her even hotter if she had a baby bulge in the summer, knowwhutImsayin?
It’s the second coming people! Jesus II! Or! Beelzebub Returns!!
It seems odd that the R’s are “fantasizing about them having hot procreative sex together” since most R’s seem interested in types of sex that cannot result in procreation.
ManchuCandidate: Maybe that’s why he’s 3 times divored. Also.
AngryBlakGuy: …and as a black man, I mean that in a good way!
Michelle is so much more attractive than her Tussaud Death Mask Candle.
Rush totally wants to nail Michelle.
I’m refuse to click on Perez’s site, so did he Microsoft Paint jizz globs on the First Lady’s backside?
shanemacgowan: Puts a whole new spin on “I did not have sex with that woman…”
Or that woman…
Or that woman…
Or that one…
Or that one…
Whoa…! Nice ass.
Schadenfried: JFC! that’s divorced. Also.
I need more coffee.
OMG, she is teh hott. Repugs just don’t know what to do with a woman with curves, because they’re too used to 17-year-old twinks.
If she’s preggers, she’s going to shit that baby out…I kid, she’s beyootiful!
Oh, great. Breeders in the White House. Maybe they can have a litter, like that lady in California! PREMANENT DEMCRATIC MAJORITYZ!
If she is preggers, Conservadepia will have a new entry debating whether she is carrying the anti-christ. Check for a ring of three sixes, the mark of the beast.
darbyogill: You mean 13 year-old boys, right?
I’m thinking that backside in a Julie Newmar catsuit. Oh, yeah I said it.
Also, it will be such a great day when a woman — any woman — in the public eye can appear in public without having the concave abs and not suddenly be beleaguered with national rumors that she’s preggo. It’s bad enough when a co-worker or ignorant cashier or something says, “Hey, congratulations!” when all you are is bloated and menstrual — can you imagine it on a national scale?! Poor MO.
@shanemacgowan: Since when have Republicans been consistent in what they want others to do versus what they do?
They were saying the same things about Howard Taft when he was in the White House.
You get what’s happening here, right?
The wingnuts are blowing up the preggo rumors so that, when she doesn’t have a kid, they can claim she had an abortion.
Mark it down, they’ll do it.
Perez Hilton is almost always right about everything, always, so I’m kinda torn right now.
GreyPanter: Ha!
Mighty Rex: LOL!
Shucks, I was just getting into coming up with baby names: “Osama Obama”…”Trig Obama”…”Bitter Obama”…”Saddam Obama”…”Hope Obama”…say, that last one would work! “Honey, would you please change Hope?”
GreyPanter: Not always.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/2707/saturday-night-live-butt-pregnancy
I was fantasing about a new Obamaby during the Election on my own, no Rethuglickin rumors need.
If it were another girl, do you think they could get away with naming her “HOPE”?
That would rock so hard. The country would SWOON!
One of Limbaugh’s whores said he/she needed a bag of flour to pour on his winkie just to find his whet spot.
If she was preggers, the country would be riveted by the Obama divorce story, as this one would have to be born out of wedlock to appease the Republicans and Bob Shrum. Then they could have a summer wedding in the White House in 2012, get on the cover of People and make Carson Kressley cry. Wins all around.
Rush Limbaugh looks pregnant all the time. What’s his fucking problem (besides being an under-educated, drug addicted bigot) anyway?
AngryBlakGuy: And a fine arse it is.
I can think of about 10,000 worse things to happen than Michelle getting pregnant, starting with Limbaugh getting pregnant.
AngryBlakGuy: My point, exactly (see first post)
A baby called Hope…
She has an ass that Sir Mix-a-Lot would love. I know I do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLolmZvKr0E
Move over J-Lo.
GreyPanter: total win!
donner_froh:
So does Barry. I don’t blame him. Michelle carries her badonkadonk well.
AngryBlakGuy: I know watchu mean–she’s hawt. I defer to the great Smoove B in this matter http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/political_goals_for_2009
if she were to get preggers, the male would certainly be heir to the Obama dynasty. It’s in his best interest.
http://www.charlietueats.com
With Bill Kristol out at the NYT, thank God (Allah?) that Wonkette can turn to another paragon of journalism, Perez Hilton.
want to touch the heiney…
Don’t you people get it? She’s EATEN Malia!!! Still think they’re a normal family like yours and mine?
Damn. The foolproof birth control is not in play. This means she and I, her ivory lover, (and all the others) must be extremely careful about skulking around and making whoopee behind the Obama’s back. Ayatollah Obama could easily have someone put to death or sent to the labor camps if he were displeased. It is a dangerous time for the first lady’s lovers.
She’s too OLD to get pregnant.
NoWireHangers: Too old, no, but the risks are substantial.
Hound: Please do not talk about Rush Limbaugh having sex or coming into physical contact with anyone. This is your last warning.
magic titty: Word. Word. Word.
45 years old? You know what happens when you’re 45 years old and get pregnant? WELCOME TO THE WHITE HOUSE TRIG OBAMA!
Schadenfried: Nah, Perez just did the usual drawing of a dripping cock on the First Lady. Eh, it’s a livin’…
Rush is just freaked out because
1-he fears more black people in the world
2-it’s sex involving a girl, which Republicans don’t really understand
3-it’s sex Not involving diapers, which Rush doesn’t un derstand
4-Barry gets laid without money changing hands, and to Rush that has to be a totally mysterious happeneing, i mean look at him.
Come on, baby, light my fire:
http://heylookhear.com/Image/michelle
Wouldn’t it be nice if they had a boy? Because in about 20 years, I would be Mrs. Robinson age, and he would be pretty hot.
NoWireHangers, if only.
I am 44 and I have friends my own age who are grandmothers and friends my own age who are currently pregnant with their first bb.
She is smokin’ hot, no two ways about it! Curvy women might even come back into fashion (please?)!
C’mon, who would be crazy enough to try and have a brand-new baby while trying to clean up the Shrub’s national/international messes. She’s no dummy…
Yet: http://yeswecanholdbabies.wordpress.com/2008/10/22/oh-lawd-this-picture-is-going-to-end-the-internet/
Rush Limbaugh is pregnant with cankles.
I seem to remember Cherie Blair was about the same age when she was pregnant with her youngest (and this was while Tony was PM, yes) and that kid didn’t turn out to have any problems. Still, someone with a smaller gut than mine - and I couldn’t possibly be pregnant - needs to offer more proof before I personally will start offering congratulations.
My wife, who incidentally is just a few months younger than Michelle O, usually announces the arrival of her monthly curse by saying to me, out of the earshot of our kids, “Well, it looks like we’re not pregnant again.”
Here’s how it went this month:
WIFE: “Well, it looks like were not pregnant again.”
ME: “Um, OK. Good, I guess.”
WIFE: “Good, right? Because we’re getting older. You know?”
ME: “Yes. I … um, that is I think, you know, the risk factors increasing with age and …”
WIFE: “Soooo … you don’t want to have any more kids. Right?”
ME: “Right. That’s right. (pause) Well, not with you anyway…”
(Why, yes, I am the stupidest male human on the face of the Earth. How did you guess?)
Crazybroad: “Curvy women might even come back into fashion (please?)!”
That would be awesome. Then I wouldn’t have to keep telling my curvy woman wife that she ain’t fat. She’s as god made her. Which is teh awesome. With curves.
heroinmule:
Curvy women have never been ‘out’ of fashion dear
Crazybroad: Curvy women have never been ‘out’ of fashion dear
AngelaB: Whoops, I quoted the wrong person. But yeah, voluptuous women are still celebrated.
When this rumor was floating this summer, my favorite concern trolls from the left were FURIOUS!! that the Obamas could be so IRRESPONSIBLE!! to get pregnant when we clearly needed Michelle to focus on KICKING RETHUGLICAN ASSES!! Like a preggers Michelle wouldn’t have brought in about another million votes from the breeders who would be so excited to see their obsession with shitting out babies validated by the first family…
AngelaB: Whoops, I quoted the wrong person (I’m just not good at this thing). But yeah like I said before, voluptuous women are still celebrated.
My God, I cannot comment properly. Sorry.
Although I feel compelled to agree, heartily, with those who point out that a woman who appears to be strong, beautiful and healthy, as opposed to anorexic, does not equal knocked up, it might be fun to have a Tony Blair style whoops baby in the White House.
Blair’s wife was 46 when she had their suprise bundle, and I confess it was entertaining as all get out to see that generally unflappable dude, even in the face of teh terrorism and whatnot, holding a press conference to say, HOLY SHIT! I MADE A BABY! SERIOUSLY! I HAVE SPERM! AND THEY CAN STILL SWIM!
i saw one piece of so called evidence where she was viewed slightly from the side, and arrow pointed at her thigh declaring it a baby bump. now i know a lot of white folks these days aren’t used to seeing those on a woman, but no her thigh is not a baby about to pop out of her.
http://www.wowowow.com/files/dbarrow@wowowow.com/michbabybump.jpg
She would only look pregnant for people who think babies are carried in the behind; let me clarify - they are not.
Jollity: Ditto that - and besides, it would make Cherie write some sort of awful opinion article about how she’s already been there, done that.
Stop spoiling my plans for my daughter’s future wedding to the theoretical Barack III.
AngelaB: Are you illiterate? Did I say anything to insult curvy women? No. In my joke I was assuming that readers would be aware of the fact that Rush Limbaugh has insulted HRC’s ankles and Michelle’s stomach. Ironically he is a fat turd. But no, I would never, have never insulted curvy women because when I indulge my lesbian side, I like to hold some tits and ass. Let’s see you try and misinterpret that!
Oh it’s something far worse than pregnancy … Michele is getting fat.
Well at least when she visits the oval office in her new muumuu she’ll fit right in.
Can we have more Michele stories that involve dancing? The last few posts about her here have me dreaming a horror film scenario in which that giant wax Michele head wakes up crying, “This is not a dream! This is really happening!!”
TaxWallStreet: Re Rush Limbaugh and sex, “Look at him!”
Worse. *LISTEN* to him!
I like big guys, myself. (Can a woman be a Bear Hunter? ;->)
But not a big stupid mean-spirited egomaniacal blowhard like Rush. Rush could look like Johnny Depp, and have that voice and those opinions, and I’ll bet he still wouldn’t be able to get laid for free.
But she has to be pregnant. I mean, when you look at them, how can you not imagine Barack feeding her liquor and LSD, dragged her to a Vegas hotel room and then savagely penetrated every orifice in her little body with his throbbing, uncircumcised member.
And let’s face it, Barack needs to knock her up, because how can he succeed without a male heir to continue his reign? I’ll be damned if we are going back to a Bush again.
Muslin fertility idol!!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Hope and consentual sodomy for all!
d4g33z: Didn’t that fool declare Fidel Castro dead last year?
Oh and I shall dream of a little Mini Barry Baby no matter what you all say.
Hound: Only if her name were Michael and she was packing eight inches.
See, this is what happens when you have a First Lady who doesn’t look like Ronald McDonald or the fucking Joker.
AngryBlakGuy: Yeah, it looks great. Did you see the Ass-Pregnant SNL sketch with Amy Pohler?
heroinmule
What are you talking about? I was agreeing with you.
TaxWallStreet: 4 - that’s almost communism!
donner_froh: Here’s the version that the First Lady has approved for State Dinners: http://www.mphtower.com/web/content/view/89/37/