Wonkette
Remember when hysterical allegations of massive voter fraud in Ohio and other ACORNy swing states became the McCain-Palin campaign’s last best chance to stop the half-breed Muslin from turning America into a wealthy modern superpower? Well, the investigation is finally finished in Ohio’s huge Hamilton County, home to the city of Cincinnati and some 900,000 people. You’ll never guess how many of them are voter-fraud criminals!
Okay, maybe you guessed, with a little help from the headline.
Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters subpoenaed the records of roughly 600 people who voted in the county during a weeklong window during which new voters could register and cast a ballot on the same day.
A report Tuesday by a special prosecutor appointed to the investigation found that only one voter committed fraud. A Connecticut man in town visiting his sister cast a ballot on Oct. 4 but later told officials what he had done.
So much for that. Just one more thing …. WHERE WAS JOE LIEBERMAN ON OCT. 4?
Records Search Turns Up One Case Of Voter Fraud [WLWT TV]
IT’S BETTER TO LET 10 INNOCENTS GET IMPRISONED THAN TO ALLOW ONE GUILTY PERSON GO FREE!!!
Ship him to Gitmo stat!
IMPEACH!!!! DO WE KNOW THE REAL BARACK OBAMA??? IF HIS MUSLIN HYPNOSIS TRICKS WORKED ON THIS ONE GUY, IMAGINE HOW MANY OTHER ONES OF GUYS THEY COULD WORK ON IN THE FUTURE!!!! LITERALLY TENS OF ONES OF GUYS!!!! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!!!!1
JeffGoldblum: win.
“half-breed Muslin ” This still cracks me up.
The article neglects to mention he had a self-inflicted backwards B on his face.
Lieberman was in a kosher masturbatoreum.
Cincinnatti, eh…well, I’ve got a story about Cincinnatti. I was only there once, I was like about 21 or so, which means mid-70s, and me and my friend Mike were on our way down to Florida in his car which was seriously falling apart, we got pulled over in Chicago, but then the cop let us go, saying “You boys got enough problems,” and we pulled into Cincinatti about 5 o’clock in the morning or so, Mike wanted to go see some friends of his in Maryville but it was a bit early so we were just killing time, walking through these skywalk type passages and there was a ledge a little bit over shoulder height so I was running my hand along the ledge, you know, the way you’ll run your hand along a fence or any other stray surface, just tactile curiousity, I don’t know, boredom maybe, and all of a sudden I had a big bag of dope in my hand. Maybe it wasn’t THAT big,I think we got 4 or 5 joints out of it, but in my mind, in my memory, it was a full, fat ounce.
Anyway, that’s my Cincinnatti story. Cool town, in my book.
mini Blago?
Connecticut. It’s always Connecticut ruining everything.
But also, seriously, that’s totally hilarious that an actual investigation into voter fraud revealed one guy, who turned himself in. That, people, is a WIN for Amuricka. And our Republick. Of Democracy. Also.
JeffGoldblum:
LOL, no fair ending the thread like that!
Such as. Also.
JeffGoldblum: Ones of Guys?? Do they know Seven of Nine? Didn’t she marry a gay governor or something a while ago?
Lemme guess. This dude is built like an ex-football player, has a snide pugnacious expression on his face at all times, shaves his head bald (even though he’s only in the early stages of male-pattern baldness) thereby resembling a penis, “works out” a lot, and his “sister” is really some twink he hooked up with at an AOL chat room.
I look forward to his next assignment via Pajamas Media.
gurukalehuru: *high five on the flipside*
600 hundred votes = 1 fraudulent. The Bush “New Math”. Any guess from this why our financial system has ended so totally fucked-up. Or maybe I’m just being cynical. I could be wrong or a three-toed sloth with access to the interwebs.
Okay, so what if I’m a three-toed sloth. We have rights too. Or three
Mr Blifil: Respect the plumber and he shall respect you.
Out.
Of course the Republicans are suspicious. You don’t look behind the bedroom door unless you’ve hidden there yourself.
The commenters at CNN political ticker have pretty much got this whole thing figured out.
http://dailysuffering.wordpress.com/2009/01/28/scholarly-cnn-commenters-shed-much-needed-light-of-reason-on-colemanfranken-senate-seat-battle/
Don’t forget Illinois’ very own Sarah Palin disgrace, insane mop-topped governor Rod Blagojevich…
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/01/blago-freak-show-express-to-derail-in.html
“Cincinnatti, eh…well, I’ve got a story about Cincinnatti. I was only there once, I was like about 21 or so, which means mid-70s, and me and my friend Mike were on our way down to Florida in his car which was seriously falling apart, we got pulled over in Chicago, but then the cop let us go, saying “You boys got enough problems,” and we pulled into Cincinatti about 5 o’clock in the morning or so, Mike wanted to go see some friends of his in Maryville but it was a bit early so we were just killing time, walking through these skywalk type passages and there was a ledge a little bit over shoulder height so I was running my hand along the ledge, you know, the way you’ll run your hand along a fence or any other stray surface, just tactile curiousity, I don’t know, boredom maybe, and all of a sudden I had a big bag of dope in my hand. Maybe it wasn’t THAT big,I think we got 4 or 5 joints out of it, but in my mind, in my memory, it was a full, fat ounce.
Anyway, that’s my Cincinnatti story. Cool town, in my book.”
It was you, you son of a bitch!
Andy from Cin
Oh yeah, and buttsecks, such as, also.
Cincinnatti gave us Pete Rose and Jerry Springer. also.
Anybody know if Les Nessman broke this story?
“He pleaded guilty Dec. 29 to attempted false voter registration and was sentenced to one year of probation, a $1,000 fine and 250 hours of community service.”
The plot thickens. Community service… It must have something to do with ACORN.
…well if Sean Hannity said it, then it obviously it must be true!
assistant/atlas: HOLD UP. I live in Connecticut. Fairfield County, actually. And I take great offense at your comment.
Now, if you’ll excuse me: Rosario, my Guatemalan maid, has just finished loofahing my testicles with glove made of the finest flaxen angels’ wings. It’s now time for my shower, where a dozen magical unicorns urinate all over my body. I look 29, but I’m actually 300.
THIS IS THE POWER OF CONNECTICUT.
Good ole Southern OH.
The place that keeps giving us Jean Schmidt.
(Not to mention home of the giant highway billboard “Hell Is Real!”
~
loquaciousmusic: You know, I tried that once, only it turned out the “unicorns” were actually horses with party hats on. It was less than totally pleasant.
gurukalehuru: Stimulus package?
I know Cinti way too well, and it’s hard to imagine this cock-head did not cast his false vote for a Republicrook. Cinti is Reptile Chicago, the armpit of the right-wing, the most Republican Hell-hole in the USA. It is home to Simon Leis, sheriff and anti-porn fanatic; need I say more?
Zhu Bajie
gurukalehuru:
I have the same story, HOWEVER, it was election night 2004 in the parking lot of Shoppers Food Warehouse…
Let’s talk about a stimulus package!
Oh NOES. Must impeach and recall Barack HUSSEIN immediately. Bush/Palin 2008: Revenge of the Stooopid! Oh, and Joe the Plumber as Sec of State, obvs.
shanemacgowan:
And live turkeys falling from helicopters like wet bags of cement. Also.
“(Not to mention home of the giant highway billboard “Hell Is Real!””
You didn’t include ALL the text from that billboard:
“Hell is Real! Welcome to Cincinnati.”
Terry: God, I loved that show.
gurukalehuru: You have changed my outlook on this city. That dope story is pretty cool.
So the mayor of this town looks after more people than the whole state of Alaska?
My hometown.
Terry: That billboard is in Greene or Pickaway County, quite a ways from Cincinnati. You see that side going south on I-71. If you are going north, you see the 10 Commandments. In Warren County is a house next to I-71 North with the Rebel Flag painted on its roof and three crosses in the yard. Oh, and about 10 years ago, the City of Cincinnati was forced to let the KKK erect a cross on our Fountain Square, in the middle of the CBD. If you go to Warren County via I-75, you can’t miss Touchdown Jeebus (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/9786).
I have moved away from and back to Cincinnati 3 times in my life. I can’t help it that I find living in a third world county in a third-world state so entertaining.
gurukalehuru: Aside from the fact that it’s spelled “Cincinnati” and I think you mean Mariemont instead of Maryville, good story! Of course, in the 70’s Gerry Springer was on City Council and at one point Mayor, so it could have been his stash on the skywalk. He was actually a pretty hip politician back in the day before he became a national joke.
Pat Pending:
No, remember Seven of Nine was married to the Republican who had to drop out of the race when it was revealed that he wanted to have sex with her when she was still his wife. The Republicans apparently frown on that, which is why they have to go to bathroom stalls in airports.
But I think when he dropped out it cleared the way for a certain well known “Muslim”, Hmmm… The borg seem to work for Democrats.
I knew that there was not a chance that Good Americans would elect a commie African. When will the people stand up and demand that Ralph Nader take his rightful place in the White House.
Yay Ken! Thanks for posting!
Shout-out to those of us freezing our arses off in C*nty, I mean, Cincy!
“Voter fraud in what respect, Charlie?”
wallythepug: more importantly, Mariemont has Graeter’s ice cream. stellar chocolate chip.
myheadsexploding: Hells ya. Graeter’s with chocolate chips the size of TruckNutz.
Cleaning up Acorn is a job for Alvin and the chipmunks.