Wonkette
- ALSO: Ha ha, our own Ken Layne killed Conservapedia. [PZ Myers]
SO THERE'S THAT
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Secret Service Man! Secret Service Man!
They’ve paid you a little visit,
and taken away your site…
There’s a site that could have used some rigor.
Rightwing talking points, they push with vigor.
Oh but be careful of what you say,
or they’ll lock your ass away,
Odds are you’re now dancin’ with Bubba..
Bow before the power of our god LAYNE!
The Disappearances have begun. Look out, The Corner!
Can Ken post an article about my mortgage holder so they’ll go out of business, too?
God bless you, Pope Cat.
Conservapedia upgrading to new server!
Newt didn’t go away. Nixon went away in disgrace, then still came back. Kissinger didn’t go away. Cheney and Bush have not gone away, believe me. And Conservapedia, unfortunately, didn’t go away. If there’s one thing these people don’t do…
http://www.conservapedia.com/wiki/Main_Page
And for the encore, Ken Layne will now tele-disrupt the electrical impulses of Rush Limbaugh’s black heart.
“… political terrorists, who are intent upon, dedicated to, mocking our conservative, Christian-friendly encyclopedia”
How the hell do you parody insanity?
SayItWithWookies: Damn, that was fast. Even zombies take some time off to decompress and decompose before returning to menace people.
Ha ha! That is sweet.
I’m sure they are just reforming to form a bigger, stronger, more conservative Conservapedia.
Anyway, I love how conservatives can no longer hide behind “real ‘mericun” status (assuming the site was real of course). Now they just have to secretly hide behind each other and do their shameful bizness
Ken is now rivaling Cheney for the most powerful being on the planet.
This will be the fight of the century.
bye bye hit list, hello comedy gold
Blogging saves lives, y’all.
I’m pleased to see you use your powers for good, Ken.
SayItWithWookies: Aw, I only got, like, twenty seconds to mourn.
That said, my hatred for conservos/wingnuts/trucknuts/bigots usually wanes once the election year is over, but it’s only getting stronger, you guys. Also,
FlownOver: “…How the hell do you parody insanity?…”
How indeed. It is all but impossible to distinguish their rants from The Onion.
SayItWithWookies: oh good fricking lord.
That thing is more obnoxious and pretentious (not to mention unfounded in reality) than Peggy Nutterton’s column the other day, something I truly didn’t think possible.
Conservapedia prescriptive: “Let others boss you around.”
signed, Others
I’m still embarrassed that Wonkette didn’t come to Pharyngula’s rescue when it was being beaten by that global warming denial blog in the Weblog Awards. Nice to see that Ken nonetheless brought some joy to those guys, however short-lived.
Fine. Suit yourselves, liberals. Stifle debate and gag discussion among decent men and women that only want to Love America by assassinating 58 senators. I hope you’re proud of yourselves.
You criticize us when we lie, then you criticize when we’re being honest.
Harry Reid was on our hit list. WE WERE BEING CONSTRUCTIVE.
SayItWithWookies: Oh OK, they’ve just screwed up their redirection from their main URL (ha, me talk tekky!)
A shout out to the boys and girls at the Secret Service who no doubt read this if they have any sense. Use your powers for good, you crazy Yankee doodles!
SayItWithWookies: Wow, if not for your link, I’d have never visited the site. And after browsing around, I finally learned why my identical twin raised in the real America likes his sexy time with girls, but raised in the city, I, of course, need teh gay buttsecks:
There is a much higher incidence of homosexuality among those who have been raised in large cities, rather than in rural areas, arguing that the environment is much more powerful than genes in the development of homosexuality.
I’m so glad they cleared that up.
grevillea: I just figured they were putting the pages up ass-first — as would be their wont.
I love you Layne!!!!!!
undermedicated: The best part of that article is the name Briar Whitehead. Wasn’t she in the porn version of Walt Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty”?
SayItWithWookies: Yeah, or maybe they’re economising with some ingenious URL sublet arrangement…
Dear Ken,
Please write lots of stuff about the governor of Alaska. Thank you!
Sincerly,
masterdebator
SayItWithWookies: Great link! Their survey of the great American writers does not include John ‘Sinclair Lewis’ Updike, but it definitely the finest collection of homework written by 10 year olds on the subject in recent years.
Alls ya gotta do is click on “proceed” and poof, conservapedia appears resurrected… this shit is psycho.
Why isn’t wonkette writing about Juan Williams’ douchebaggery: http://mediamatters.org/items/200901270002?f=h_latest
I think he is due one of your epic rants Jim.
And they didn’t even get around to one assassination. Poor fellas.
Where will I turn when I need information about gay bowel disease?
But when Conservapedia came back on-line, it still had a BlackMuslin Overlord controlling its toobz.
Gahk, it’s still online! How did I kill it? I’m doing it wrong?
Min: That’s prolly where Briar Whitehead met Rev. Haggard, high on meth and covered with juices.
wheelie: ‘it definitely is the finest collection’, you arsehole Mick. No more internets for you tonight.
Dreamer: Agreed. Tie Juan on. Or up.
undermedicated: Conservapedophilia? Also.
Ken Layne: They came to recognize you as easily among the most intelligent, creative, and articulate conservative voices in America.
wheelie: Wow — a whopping 228 words on Herman Melville, including his entire NYT obituary. The rest is probably lifted from a more extensive biography in The Mini Page.
But who am I to mock? If they could write an analysis of a topic that couldn’t fit on a candy bar wrapper, they’d be liberals.
IT HAS BEGUN!
undermedicated: Your identical twin isn’t gay too? That’s not supposed to happen. You should be like a test subject for something science-y. Or more likely he is just a fucked-up in the head closet case who gets his butt secks in secret.
bago: But there is no link to start it???? WHAT IS IT???
Damn - it’s undead again… we’re might need His Hopeyness Grand Unicorn B. Hussein Obama to look into this…
http://query.nictusa.com/cgi-bin/fecimg/?P20001939 That.
Vanity Smurf: I thought it was rare that both twins like the same sexytimes? I gotta re-read my gay agenda…
It’s actually a great site. Kenneth Anger take note: http://www.conservapedia.com/wiki/Hollywood_Values
Heh. Under the Falshoods heading:
Inherit the Wind
[fill in]
The worst librul trick: bring attention to what the pugs actually say & write.
I just checked out the Conservapedia site. It’s made for willing consumers of propaganda. The believers of this I see as no different from the believers of Pravda during the heyday of the USSR. Gross!
That server upgrade didn’t go very well, it seems. The page on the list of Senate Democrats seems to have been expunged. Hopefully IT conservo-braniacs are working hard to reclaim this lost mother lode of knowledge.
Filing at the FEC
PALIN, SARAH
Office Sought: President
Election Year: 2012
State: Presidential Candidate
Party: REP (Republican Party)
SayItWithWookies: Yep. They’re baaaack. And their main page is just rife with right wing jackoffery and myth mongering. These are the same people who thought that the Onion’s (holy be thy name) fake Sunday magazine with the front page “They Tried to Teach My Baby Science” was real and a call to arms.
turkey lurkey: Oh good lord. Under the heading DEATHS is a list of people killed by the “hollywood lifestyle.” My favorites:
**********
Stuart Lubbock, 31, found dead in the swimming pool of popular TV entertainer Michael Barrymore, having suffered severe anal trauma, after a drug-fueled party at the star’s home
Sharon Tate, 26, an actress with a hippie lifestyle who was murdered by followers of Charles Manson, a Beatles-obsessed musician wannabee; Manson’s followers murdered Tate, who was pregnant and only two weeks from birth, her unborn child, her prior lover, who was staying with her while her husband, pedophile movie producer Roman Polanski (see ‘Crime’, below), was away, and another unmarried couple staying in the house. (It is believed that Manson had actually intended his followers to kill the home’s previous residents, Terry Melcher (son of Doris Day) and Candice Bergen.) [12] [13]
**********
Yes, the Manson victims died as a direct result of their hippie lifestyles, not because armed individuals came through unlocked doors and proceeded to butcher them. The scholarly application of the word “wannabe” is also a nice touch. They also managed to work in Polanski’s pedophilia problem, which if one thinks about it is odd in that if his wife and child had survived, he might not have had opportunity to try to seduce young girls.
Anyway, this will be my last post on Wonkette as I now regard myself as a conservative. It took a while but it just makes sense.
turkey lurkey: “…Walt Disney and many others practiced conservative values while working in Hollywood” See also Song of the South ca. 1947. Reagan, Jimmy Stewart and Walt Disney weren’t Jews, also.
Awww, they came back. This looks like a job for ED.
loislane1939: Yes but no Senator hit list as yet.
wheelie: They didn’t count Ayn Rand, which is kind of weird because many konservatives worship at her thick, dark pubic altar.
http://www.conservapedia.com/wiki/Ayn_Rand
I wish Anonymous would get hold of teh Konservapedias.
Vanity Smurf: Here’s the funny thing: “monozygotic twins discordant for homosexuality”* is roughly 50%, which quite a few wingnuts say shows that homosexuality is at least somewhat chosen. Inconveniently, the numbers are about the same if you replace “homosexuality” with “schizophrenia”. No one goes on Faux News or whatever railing about schizophrenia as a lifestyle choice that you could abandon with enough willpower.
*I can’t speak that tech stuff so must compensate. I feel better now.
Of course when SD Senator Johnson got ill a couple of years ago, these same people walked around with boners for weeks.
FlownOver: Gosh, the great FlownOver. Salve, good to see you again.
Please kill more evil things.
Of course, Conservapedia is back, but it’s sort of like Dracula in the Castelvania games or Dr. Wily in Mega Man: an innefectual pushover with bad ideas but a lot of persistence who basically exists to give the heroes something to do. They always come back, but they’re just as easy to knock down again and they’re never much of a threat.
It’s back? Well, then, we’re just not WARBLOGGING hard enough!
holy shit, Wonkette did something useful!
I found that shithole of a website somehow about a year ago. My roommates and I studied it for hours trying to decide if it was some sort of obscene altar to ideological perversion or truly inspired satire. We ended up concluding that they must be genuinely bound up in their madness, because I have personally seen Swift’s grave and I don’t think that there has been another satirist that could have pulled off such a magnificent edifice. Which is disappointing, sort of like spending an hour trying to decide if something is a magnificent jewl or a fetid pile of shit, only to conclude that it is in fact excrement only after the taste test.
For laffs, if its still there, check out their list of reasons why Barry MUST be a half-breed muslin. My favorites are “because of the way he pronounces Pakistan” (not like a hillbilly!) and “Because he was reading ‘The Post-American World’ by Fareed Zakaria” because only them muslin-types read NYT bestsellers by acclaimed and respected authors.
Conservapaedia will never stay dead. It’s like Doctor Doom, minus the brains and the fashion sense.
Mr. Layne, tear down this firewall!
‘Curiously Hideous’ would be a great name for a rock band as well.
Ken Layne: No, it’s just like those rasta lizards in the first Hell Boy movie. You kill them and they just keep coming back.
SayItWithWookies: Ken Layne: That’s why the term “Kill it with fire!” is so important.
That’s how God would do it (according to the Bible), so the Cons will understand.
Mr Blifil: Thank you for your brave sacrifice!