Wonkette
AMERICA’S NEW CAPITAL: “Like most everyone in D.C., I haven’t exactly been following the news since Tuesday. When you’re having sushi and champagne for breakfast, with Beyonce, you’re not really going to be checking up on Wolf Blitzer or Andrew Sullivan or whatever.” [AOL Political Machine]
wow. that’s a lot of blingee
Ken, he also pressed the congress to pass a ban on heterosexual marriage. Just for funsies.
Did you make Newell make that Blingee and then massage you with olive oil?
Eric Cantor is a fucking dead man.
Is it Janaluary?
MisterLoki: Not so long as there will never be a Two-State solution. But I say this in a good way.
Obama inaugural address: “Its [the market’s] power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched …”
Right. And as lately proven?
His statement does not well.
S.Luggo: His statement does not BODE well.
Wow. Jediknight69 is my new hero, my savior, my seer. Or at the very least my new fave AOL Political Machine commenter. His stuff would kill even if it wasn’t in all caps.
“Clinton in the 80’s,” indeed. Nice touch!
Which one of you jokers is it?
bago: Nice. And soon it will be Fey-Boy-uary.
…“sushi and champagne” ? Shyyyyyyyyyyt; plastic bottle vodka and beef jerky has the same effect on me!
isn’t sushi full of dolphins and Alaskan (aka Palin) shit? like dead moose and nosy Russian fat? ew!! i’d rather eat baby fat from cheney’s stash.
He was supposed to hire more aids. He wasn’t supposed to decrease aids.
Ken, I can only assume you have not been watching FOX, or you would have included Obama’s power to travel back through time to release a prisoner from Gitmo so that we would know today that only through torture will we be free.
Congratulations once again, Ken. You bring out the best in AOL members. But this week comments from that other AOL commentary you linked to (Obama to GOP: ‘I Won’ …) takes the prize for wingnut asshattery.
As best I could discern through the misspellings, omitted words and ALL CAPS, the best of REAL AMERICA now seem to believe that Obama won 49%-48% and therefore is barely even preznit! And then only because ACORN and Obama cheated. Fortunately someone was kind enough to link to a CNN story showing the actual final margin of 53%-46%.
But wouldn’t you know it, the very next commenter, surely the only one with access to the real truth, put paid to that: “and you people believe every thing that CNN said? they are always telling the truth right.”
Q: What’s the new capital of America?
A: About $20.
Oh, fuck that. Every day saved by Hopey from the flaming nuclear-and-financial death that would’ve been a McCain/Palin administration is a good day, sez I.
We would like our own Prez. Barry blingee contest, kindest Wonkeet Overlord.
(I did not know AOL still existed…)
Obama said, “We just have a difference here, and I’m president.”
Or as Kathy Griffin might have said, “Suck it!“
AOL commenters had their own inaugural parties. They wore sweatpants but no underwear and undershirts with pit stains, and they drank Natty Light and ate Easy Cheez on Premium saltines while secretly dreaming of cavorting with their second cousins in the plush, velour backseats of their 1982 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supremes.
And you know what, guys? In Barry’s America, that’s totally cool. So maybe some fucking GRATITUDE might be in order, no?
Ken Layne, you are a treasure, but AOL must have really real disdain for it’s readership (as I believe AOL gets the joke, gets that the readers DON’T, and are in love).
loquaciousmusic: For real!
bago: Silly. I read an interview with Ted Hagred (he was interviewed, I wasn’t WITH HIM in That Way) and he actually seemed pretty cool about all this stuff. People like buttfucking. What’s the problem, Associated Press???
Is that Lee Atwater’s Strat in the Blingee?
bago: Love it! In future, I will use the “ask HBO” dodge, instead of invoking the 5th.
Well done Mr. Ken “Deconstructing-Bitterz-Illogic-One-Day-at-a-Time” Layne.
“Hope kicks ass” is my new desktop and I suggest should be the administration motto emblazoned on flags, the Presidential Seal, and John Boehner’s forehead. Also.
Ken Layne is general counsel for the Institute of Wealth Studies
The Institute of Wealth Studies? Is this like The Human Fund? (Money for people)
‘and hosts the literary salon Wonkette from his Georgetown parlor.’
Yes, you are rather like Marcel Proust only with more Truck Nutz and assfucking
I don’t get it. BHO has been president for 3 days now and I’m still seeing white women walking around free.
loquaciousmusic: I pledge
Colander: I pledge
Cape Clod: I pledge
bitchincamaro: To make a unicorn
DoctorCulturae: a unicorn
BruceM: my screen saver
BillyClubb: in 2009.
ALIVE!: I’m working on that. Got one sequestered right now.
bago: Boyd said an “overwhelming pool of evidence” pointed to an “inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship”
Uh — urp — oh, my. Oh, the santorum!
PoliticalGraffiti: I think AOL pays Ken in Blingees.
Oh, the little doggie winks every other rise of the shades. If I wasn’t so hangedover I could find some deeeep meaning there.
Still a lot of white womhenz around Saddleback, here in Lake Forest, OC. (There is neither, actually. Just traffic, chain stores, and Republicans)
Ken pokes ant nest with stick.
Cantor is going down. sorry, no pedophilia or inter-congressional buttsekks involved.
:(
Can someone please take Ol’ Wolfie out back and send him to the great holographic Satan in the sky already? I’m so fucking sick of seeing his name ANYWHERE. His time has come.
In a related event:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0123091obama1.html
L to the O to the L.
facehead: That’s what I love about Obama; he’s constantly reaching out to his rightwing constituency.
Lascauxcaveman: He can’t be real. Ok, I know he probably is. Oh, Lascauxcaveman, why did you lure me to the comments…
Lascauxcaveman:
But I’m not ashamed!
Colander:
I’m fine with that as long as he doesn’t reach AROUND to his rightwing constituency (which might be interesting because he’s left-handed (sinister, the DEVIL).
Lascauxcaveman: And it must be true, since it is in all caps!
facehead: Green tinted crack for St. Patrick’s Day. How did I miss that?
Type and distribution of AOL commenters:
Wonktard trolls: 69%
Semiliterate wingnuts: 30%
Nice-but-dim: 1%
Portugal (The Man): Pervert.
Reading the comments on that article is an exercise in surrealism. I can’t figure out which wingnuts are Wonketteers in disguise and which are actual wingnuts. To which I say: Well done, team, well done.
Cape Clod: Actually, Proust is like a bazillion pages long, so I’m pretty sure there’s assfucking and truck nutz in there somewhere. Maybe after the 117 pages he spends describing that one cookie.